I like this shirt, but I'm gonna change into my standard two button polo. Ah, yes. There's the comfort of familiarity. Good morning Hank,

it's Tuesday.

So I've been thinking recently about how weird English is -

especially when it comes to prepositions. Like we use in, on, and at as location related prepositions

which is just so weird.

The general idea is that in is for big places and on is for smaller places and at is for extremely specific places.

So you live in a country, but on a street and at a particular address, which is a lot to remember

but it's even more complicated than that because for instance one lives in a house or apartment because you're ostensibly

surrounded by it or inside of it.

But you also live at home unless you live at school in a dorm room on a campus. Similarly

you can be both at the airport and in the airport, but you can't be on the airport

unless you're like Godzilla standing on the airport. And you can be in the airplane or on the airplane

but you can't be at the airplane,

Although you can be at the gate. And even though in is supposed to be for large places

you can be in your airplane seat,

which is one of the smallest places in the known universe.

And to make it worse all these words have other meanings and shades of meaning, like in can refer to a change of state - you

break something in half.

But it's mostly used to describe being within or inside something. On

generally means on top of something, hence being in a car but on a motorcycle.

But on can also be used to describe the state of something, for instance

you can be in a car that is on fire, although I don't recommend it.

Meanwhile something that happens to my body superficially usually uses on. I was tapped on the shoulder.

Whereas something that happens beneath the skin usually uses in. I was shot in the shoulder.

But even those incredibly complicated and obscure rules sometimes don't apply, see for instance being slapped in the face.

This is an altogether terrible system for expressing ideas

But generally I don't notice it because I grew up speaking English and its labyrinthine usage seems completely normal to me.

I only noticed preposition choice when it feels wrong to me, like one that's always bothered me is "on the phone."

Why do we say on the phone to mean not that we're standing on our phones, but that we're using them?

On the phone used to mean participating in a phone call,

But these days there are all sorts of ways to be on your phone.

You can be texting on your phone or looking at Instagram on your phone or playing Fortnite on your phone or whatever.

But I would argue that no matter what you're doing on your phone, you're not really on the phone.

You're in the phone. When I'm using my phone

I'm not really in whatever physical space I happen to be occupying and I'm not really with whatever physical people I'm near.

I'm in the phone with people who are also in their phones. And when I exit my phone and enter physical space it doesn't feel

Like I'm getting off my phone, it feels like I'm getting out of it.

And this was the case for me long before my phone contained so many distractions

And delights and horrors. Like when I was a kid and I would talk on the phone to friends

I always felt like I was not in my house or in my room,

but I was in some

disembodied space with the person I was talking to. But now because there's so much more to do in my phone and also because there's

So many more people in that disembodied space, being in my phone feels thrilling and terrifying

and overwhelming and most of all, weird. Like I'm not sure of the language to describe it - not only which

prepositions to use but also which adjectives which nouns. I don't know if understanding leads to language or language leads to

understanding, but when it comes to life in my phone, I don't have adequate understanding or adequate language.

All I know is that life on my phone feels much more like being in a city than being on an island. Hank,

I'll see you not in a week or at noon but on Friday.