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  • What's up, party people? I'm Marie Forleo and for over 20 years I have been obsessed

  • with learning what it takes to turn dreams into reality. You know, I started my company

  • back in the day with no clue, no connections, no money, and over time grew it into something

  • spectacular. I created the award winning show MarieTV,

  • was named by Oprah as a thought leader for the next generation, and wrote the instant

  • number one New York Times bestseller Everything Is Figureoutable. I've helped millions of

  • people transform their businesses and lives, and guess what? Every week I'm going to help

  • you take action and make the difference you were born to make, but please do not expect

  • anything about this podcast to be traditional. We've got songs, weird sound effects, the

  • occasion F bombs, maybe some fart jokes, if you're lucky, and anything else that makes

  • me laugh. It's all fair game, because this is The Marie Forleo Podcast.

  • If you're finding it hard to feel inspired, or creative, or energized right now, guess

  • what? You are not alone. The emotional toll of this pandemic, man is it real, but there

  • are steps you can take to start feeling better. So, in this episode we're going to talk about

  • why it is vital to opt out of non-stop negative news and what to focus on instead. My case

  • today is backed up by a unique combination of brain science, Milli Vanilli, and good

  • old common sense. You're also going to hear from a special guest

  • who's an expert on the power of good news, Mr. Tank Sinatra. But first a word from today's

  • sponsor. I'm Marie Forleo and I quit writing boring

  • copy after I discovered nobody wants to read that shit. If you have problems writing in

  • a way that's true to your voice and helps convert browsers into buyers, The Copy Cure

  • may be right for you. Check with your health professional and after

  • she says she doesn't care about your writing skills, sign up for our free seven-day writing

  • class at the copycure.com. That's the copycure.com. All right, here we go, people. First of all,

  • thank you so much. We are loving the voicemails that y'all have been sending. If you have

  • no idea what the hell I'm talking about just Googleleave Marie Forleo a voicemail

  • and you will get the entire scoop. So, when we were listening to your voicemails

  • this week we noticed a recurring theme. There's a lot of people not feeling like themselves

  • these days, which makes a whole lot of sense given the fact we are in the midst of a global

  • pandemic. Right? Folks are feeling lethargic and unfocused,

  • and finding it harder and harder to just get things done. So, let's dive straight into

  • today's Hey Marie segment and talk about some steps we can all take to start feeling better

  • now. Hey Marie, this

  • is Susmitha from Bangalore, India and I love your podcast, and your book, and basically

  • everything about you. You are so freaking awesome and inspiring. Especially your energy.

  • My question for you is, during these times of uncertainty it's hard to feel very creative

  • or inspired or productive. So, even though technically we have more time

  • on our hands, it's not very easy to do stuff. Usually we get into the sense of blah. You

  • know? So, can you give me tips on how to get over that?

  • Susmitha, great question. You are not alone, my love, but more importantly these feelings

  • you're having are not your fault. In fact, outside of this global crisis there's another

  • more insidious reason you might be feeling especially blah and low energy these days.

  • And surprisingly Milli Vanilli has our answer. Seriously, though, right now most of us are

  • consuming a lot more news than usual. I mean, we're checking the headlines when we wake

  • up, maybe we're getting news alerts all day long, and then, let's be honest, we're probably

  • watching even more news at night. Make no mistake, there is a direct connection

  • between what you're watching, reading, and listening to all damn day, and how you feel.

  • Your energy levels, your mood, your ambition. Now, to understand how this all fits together,

  • let's look at the nature of both the news media and some simple neuroscience. For example,

  • did you know that there's a long standing adage in the news industry that goes like

  • this, "If it bleeds, it leads." I know it's a horrible statement, but it's

  • true. Now, what does it mean? It means that many newspapers, TV and cable networks use

  • fear and pain to hook our attention and keep us coming back for more.

  • So, that jolt of adrenaline and the negativity, as weird and strange as this is going to sound,

  • it can actually be addictive to our brains. Why is that? Because of something called negativity

  • bias. So, negativity bias is something I've talked

  • about many times before. It is the human tendency to pay more attention and give more weight

  • to negative experiences over positive or neutral ones.

  • This is not just some fancy pants psychological concept. This is real, people. Our brains

  • are literally wired to notice more of the bad stuff and pretty much ignore the good

  • stuff. It's evolutionary. We did, actually a whole MarieTV episode on

  • this if you just GoogleMarie Forleo negativity bias,” you will find it. So watching the

  • news isn't just addictive, though, it's also terrible for your health.

  • Non-stop negativity weakens your immune system. Right? Increases anxiety, and guess what?

  • Ding, ding, ding. It reduces your ambition. So, what's the fix? What do we do about it?

  • Two simple steps. Step number one. Reduce your traditional news

  • consumption. And I'm talking no more than one serving per a day. So, here's how this

  • looks in my life. Right now, I'm going to be honest, I am obsessed with watching New

  • York governor Andrew Cuomo and his daily briefings. I love this guy.

  • Every single night I literally get out my popcorn, I sit my ass down on the couch and

  • I watch his updates on YouTube. Why do I do that? Well, he delivers the facts with precision

  • and empathy. He puts the data first, and then he tells us his opinion last. And he always

  • separates fact from his opinion. He's got a whole new PowerPoint slide on it. I love

  • it. He also says cool things like this. Like,

  • "Before you open your mouth why don't you go look in the mirror." I love him. Anyway.

  • Every single time I watch, no matter how bad, or terrible, or painful the facts are, I actually

  • leave feeling informed, and energized, and hopeful. It's so weird. It's like taking a

  • Xanax in the middle of this pandemic, but then getting really inspired and wanting to

  • change the world. It's awesome. I think it's a reflection of his leadership

  • and his communication style, and honestly I appreciate both. Now, look, before anybody

  • wants to come for me on this podcast thinking that I'm suggesting that you ignore the news,

  • or look past the suffering of others, or pretend this all isn't happening, I need you to calm

  • down. I am not suggesting that any of us turn a

  • blind eye to anything negative, nor am I suggesting that we close our hearts and not be aware

  • of the suffering of others. Do you know me? Have you paid attention to my work for any

  • amount of time? If not, you need to get yourself educated,

  • because look, there is a distinction here. There is nuance. There is a limit to how much

  • negative news any human being should be taking in each and every day. So, yes, you got to

  • be aware of the facts, yes, you got to know what's happening so you can help, but no,

  • you should not be watching non-stop negative news all day long and then feeling like crap.

  • I believe we have to take our pain and our hurt, and turn it into hope. And in order

  • to do that you have to have the energy to take productive action. So, back to you, Susmitha.

  • I want you to find a local news source that actually gives you the facts, and leaves you

  • feeling strong. Limit your intake of the facts to maybe, I don't know, five to 10 minutes

  • max and then just be done for the day. And once you do that, we are going to move onto

  • step number two. Increase your good news consumption and use

  • what I call the five-to-one rule. My author friend Rick Hanson taught me this one. Our

  • brains are like Velcro for negative experiences, but Teflon for positive ones. Again, that

  • is negativity bias at work. So, some studies have shown that in relationships

  • it actually takes five positive interactions to make up for a single negative one. And

  • I think we should apply this five-to-one rule to our consumption of negative news. Don't

  • you think? I think. So, here's how it's going to work. From this

  • moment forward each time you choose to consume one bit of traditional news, seek out five

  • pieces of good news to counterbalance it. That's right. So, for every little bit of

  • negativity you allow into that beautiful mind of yours go find five positive, or inspiring,

  • or funny, or hopeful things that are happening. And here's an example to get you started.

  • So, there's this woman, right? Who lives alone and is completely isolated during this pandemic.

  • She's got no spouse, no kids, no pets, no one to be in quarantine with.

  • So, instead of feeling sorry for herself, or letting fear or negativity take over, guess

  • what? She decided to use what she had in her kitchen to make a difference to others.

  • So, she cooked up this big old tray of eggplant parm and she posted an update on Nextdoor,

  • which is this app here in the states that helps neighbors stay connected to each other.

  • And she said, "Look, I just made a big tray of eggplant parm, if you're hungry, if you

  • don't have food right now come by my front porch and get it."

  • And so, she left these individually wrapped portions on her front porch so people could

  • just safely come and get something to eat. And it was such a hit that she's been making

  • meals for her community every few days. So, check it out. Right? Instead of watching

  • non-stop negative news all day long, or feeling bad, or sorry for herself, she decided to

  • do something productive instead. She's not only serving up eggplant parm, people, she

  • is serving up some good news too. I mean, don't you feel inspired by this? I

  • don't even feel inspired, I actually feel hungry. Anyway. If you're still not convinced

  • on the power of looking for good news, then I think you need to meet my next guest Mr.

  • Tank Sinatra. He's the founder of the popular website and

  • Instagram account @tanksgoodnews. So, Tank, thanks so much for joining me on The Marie

  • Forleo Podcast. Today we are talking about the power of good news, and I was like who

  • better to have on the show to talk about this with me than you?

  • The guy. Yeah. Exactly. The guy. Can you tell us why,

  • and how you started your sites? So, I'm 39 years old. I've been on this planet

  • that long and from as early as I can remember I didn't understand why the news, all they

  • wanted to talk about, I remember being a kid and being like, "The world seems like a scary

  • place." Growing up in New York there was always kidnappings,

  • and robberies, and murders, and what I quickly learned is that none of that stuff was happening

  • around me, and if I didn't get it from an external source I didn't have to feel bad

  • about everything going on bad in the world. Because, if you talked about neuroscience

  • you know that the brain really doesn't know the difference between what it's imagining

  • and what is real. So, if you're watching the news, and your mouth is dry and your heart

  • is pounding, and you're angry and then somebody says something and you're snapping at them,

  • now there's misplaced anger going on, just because you had to watch this thing that you're

  • addicted to. I don't blame the media or us. I think it's

  • just one of those things where somebody who wanted to make a lot of money figured out

  • this weakness that humans have, and it's a weakness for negativity.

  • Yeah. Negativity bias. That's what we just talked about. The brain is hardwired to give

  • more attention to the negative than the positive. It's evolutionary. It's just part of how we're

  • built. Yeah. We want to survive.

  • Yeah. So, if there's a snake on this pathway you

  • got to remember not to go down that pathway. So, I guess I didn't figure it out, I just

  • kind of experimented and I had seen some really beautiful stories go viral over the years.

  • I've been on the internet a long time, and I don't know, I just said, "What the media

  • is doing is they're creating a visceral reaction in people. That reaction happens to be negative.

  • What if I could create a visceral reaction that's positive where, instead of your mouth

  • getting dry or you getting angry, you're crying tears of joy or you're getting a little heart

  • flutter, or you're feeling for the first time in however long that the world is not a scary

  • place, and it's not out to get you.” So, I just try and pollute my brain with positivity

  • as much as possible. I love that. I love that.

  • Yeah. I'm actually just curious about this, personally.

  • How do you find the good news? Where does it come from? Do you have other people that

  • search for it? Is this all you? Do people submit things? How does it come about?

  • No. So, the thing is, it's really not that hard to find. That's the trick. You would

  • think that... I remember when I started the page, Hurricane Harvey was going on and the

  • local news is... I was posting only huge stories. J. J. Watt raising 20 million, the Cajun Navy

  • driving hundreds of miles to rescue people. And I remember I happened to have the news

  • on one day in the house and I saw a video or a story of a little four-year-old boy who

  • had fallen off a deck in the Bronx and died. Right?

  • It wasn't Eric Clapton's son falling out of a window, it wasn't some powerful person's

  • kid, it wasn't extenuating circumstances, it was just some family who lost their child,

  • and that made the news. And what occurred to me was that it doesn't

  • always need to be big news, it could be little news and if I attack it with that attitude

  • I'm never going to run out of good news. Ever. And it's just, it's so easy to find. I mean,

  • at this point... There was one point very early on in the development of the page, maybe

  • like two weeks in where I realized, I almost felt like my work was done with the page,

  • because not only was the page growing, but people were then starting to send me stories

  • and I was like, "That means they're turning around from the Instagram page, going out

  • into the world and finding their own good news."

  • Yes. The ripple effect has begun. So, people send

  • it. I like finding my own. I have a bunch of different sources that I go to. Every big

  • media outlet has a good news page or section, or human interest, it's just buried behind

  • the shootings, and the fires, and the coronavirus and all that.

  • I'll tell you, I live for NBC Nightly News. At the end there's Inspiring America, there's

  • all the segments at the end that are the human interest stories, and it's like, I live for

  • them. And they're amazing. They are so amazing. So, I just want to appreciate on you and thank

  • you for what you do in pulling them all together for us.

  • I don't know if you want to talk into this or not, and if it's not interesting that's

  • cool. I was wondering if you could talk about the difference between toxic positivity and

  • genuine, helpful positivity? This notion of toxic positivity is around that... It's almost

  • this subtle nuance. Right? Where people are like, "Never give up."

  • Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's just going down this one side where

  • it almost feels like there's a lack of empathy or compassion for a whole range of positivity

  • that could also include the fact, "You know what? Sometimes you do have to cut your losses

  • and that's not necessarily negative." Or, "You know what? Things are hard, and it's

  • okay to take a rest, and then you get back up." It's a bit more of a, I would say, holistic

  • version of positivity that most of us can relate to, versus a toxic version, which would

  • make people feel like, "Oh my gosh, if I take a nap I'm just losing at life."

  • So, the reason that I was confused when you brought that up, is because I remember coming

  • across that and landing on the fact that, that's just not positivity to me. That's not

  • evenThat's not toxic positivity. There's a couple of people out there on the

  • internet who... I always want to be careful for a few things. One, I try to make sure

  • that my page, the things that I post, the stories that I pick, the captions that I write

  • are never too sappy or preachy, because I never want it to come across like I don't

  • know what's going on in the world. Or I'm somehow unaware of the fact that bad things

  • are going on. I don't have my head buried in the sand. I'm

  • not Pollyanna. I just happen to look at the good news 80%, bad news 20%. And the news

  • is just bad news. Right. Right, right, right.

  • It's not 95/5, it's not 100/0, it's not 50/50. Because like you said, the five-to-one. You

  • got to offset that somehow. Totally. I was doing research too and there's

  • this old adage, right? I've been running my business now for 20 years and I'm just fascinated.

  • I'm fascinated with advertising, I'm fascinated with media, fascinated with commercials, and

  • there's this old adage, "If it bleeds, it leads." Right?

  • Yeah. And that's been around forever. It's been

  • around forever, just speaks into what you're talking about. So, what do you think that

  • we as individuals can do? And we talked about this a little bit already.

  • Someone listening to this right now. Getting on board going, "Yes. I want to get this five-to-one

  • ratio down. I want to start looking for it in my life." And let's say they're in India.

  • Actually, today's question was from one of our viewers in Bangalore India, earlier on

  • in this podcast. Anything that you would say to them to do, to start cultivating this in

  • their own communities, in their own countries, in their own world, wherever they are?

  • Yeah. I mean, it starts internally. It starts with one. It's one of those things where if

  • you try and bite off more than you can chew, you wind up getting frustrated and saying,

  • "Oh, this is fake. This is not real. I can't actually do this."

  • Yeah. I'm trying to think of the best way to put

  • it. I read a page of probably 10 different books a day. Maybe two pages.

  • Me too. Yeah. I mean, I was talking to a friend of

  • mine, so I'm in recovery and there's a book that people read in regards to recovery, and

  • the first thing that I wanted to say was just that in that book they talk about constant

  • vigilance. If you're not ready to do the hard work, then

  • you're probably not going to get what you're looking for, but I would rather put a little

  • work in and be... I'd rather force myself to be happy, then be naturally sad.

  • There is effort to be put into this if you want what's happening, or if you want the

  • results. But just constant vigilance and constantly making sure that if you find yourself indulging

  • in something that's making you feel bad, like my son, perfect example.

  • My son is terrified of these things that he finds on the internet, and he wants to prove

  • how tough he is, he's seven years old. He's showing me on the phone, he goes, "Look. This

  • isn't even scary. This isn't even scary," and then 20 minutes later he's screaming,

  • because he went into his room alone and it was dark. It was literally 1:30 in the afternoon.

  • There was no darkness to be found anywhere. But I said, "G.J., this is what I'm telling

  • you about this stuff. You think you can get past it, and what happens is just like..."

  • Because what happens is, he searches for scary stuff on Google and then Google's algorithm

  • feeds that into his Roblox so these things show up in the games. He doesn't realize that

  • yet. I said, "Your brain works just like that.

  • So, if you plant things in your brain, it might not scare you right now, but 20 minutes,

  • two hours, two days from now you're going to have a thing, it's going to pop up, your

  • brain is going to call that back and it's going to make it appear real. And it's not

  • real. You got to be careful about what you allow into your own algorithm. Your own brain."

  • Oh. I adore you. There's a part... So, I wrote this book. I have to say this, because it's

  • so aligned with what you're saying. So, I wrote this book called Everything Is Figureoutable.

  • Right? And there's this chapter in it where we talk

  • about the RAS. The part of the brain, your reticular activating system, where it's basically

  • your filtering system. Right? Because your brain cannot take in all the data, it cannot

  • take in all of the input that's constantly coming in. It has to choose what's important.

  • And when you look for something you're all of a sudden going to find it. What we seek,

  • we find. And so, just like you're talking about with your son, just like this right

  • now, this whole conversation. When you start looking for good news and that becomes an

  • intentional focus you actually start finding it all over the place, and it's kind of amazing.

  • I heard something about you. Were you a fencer? Did you use to do fencing?

  • I sold fence. You sold fence. Okay.

  • Fence. Yeah. Yes.

  • Like property fence. Property fence. Cool. And do you no longer

  • do that? No. It's one of those words where when people...

  • When they realize what it is they go, "Oh. That makes so much more sense than you being

  • a fencer with a foil." Yes. Amazing.

  • But that's what everyone thinks. Yeah, I stopped that. I stopped doing that... Wow. It was

  • December of 2017 that I left that company. Oh my goodness.

  • Yeah. Could you ever have imagined what you're doing

  • now as your full-time? No.

  • And you are so funny. I sent you a meme that you created in probably 2017, actually. And

  • it was one about God and fish. I'm telling you, Tank, every time I see it I can't stop

  • laughing. It's literally, it's amazing. You are so good at what you do.

  • So, one thing people wouldn't expect about you. Anything. What do you think?

  • I don't know if they wouldn't expect it, but I don't know if they would know to the extent

  • that I love music. Tell me more.

  • So, when I got sober in 2002 I said, "There's two things I'm going to allow myself to do,

  • that may require me to be around alcohol." Right? "I'm going to allow myself to go to

  • comedy clubs, and I'm going to allow myself to go to concerts or anything involving music."

  • Whether it's a club, and the people are doing drugs there. I don't care. I'm there for the

  • right reason, and I need to allow myself that. Yeah.

  • I just find that music is something that... My other page Influencers In The Wild has

  • grown exponentially, because it's not dependent on the English language. So, my page is Tank

  • Sinatra, Tank's Good News, as big as they are, they're very limited, because it's only

  • the UK, Canada, and America. With music, you kind of cut through all that

  • and it's like, I don't know. Jay-Z is my favorite artist of all time, and the way that he describes

  • the way he makes music is, he listens to the beat, he tries to figure out what kind of

  • emotion the music itself is trying to emote, then he figures out how he wants to say what

  • he wants to say. Meaning the beat of staccato, of how he's going to say it, and then he puts

  • the words into that format. And it's like, the fact that these things

  • didn't exist, and now they do, I just love listening to a song once, twice, 100 times,

  • 1500 times, and hearing... It just never gets old.

  • It's like reading. It's like reading a book that you've read a million times. If you're

  • doing your job as a human, from the time you read that book to the time you're reading

  • it now you should have changed a little bit, and you should pick up on new things in a

  • book. I agree with you.

  • So, the same thing with music. 100%. I love that. Some of my favorite books,

  • like I read every year, and they're always different, and they're always fresh. And it

  • always feels like coming home to a really good sweater too.

  • Yeah. It's crazy. It's like they're reprinted. It's like they literally took the words out

  • that you read the first time and put new words in. They didn't, but you pick up on different

  • stuff, like the RAS thing you're talking about. Absolutely. I'm with you on music.

  • The reticular. Really with you on music. I'm actually very

  • excited. I'm going to probably send you the clip of me singing. I made up a little ditty

  • around Milli Vanilli as it relates to this episode. I'm going to send it to you, because

  • I know you're going to want to hear it again and again.

  • Of course. Yeah. For anyone right now who is just like, "We

  • need more Tank," tell us where everyone can find you. They can follow your pages, your

  • podcast, anything you want to share with us. Yeah. My main things are on Instagram. It's

  • @tank.sinatra, @tanksgoodnews, @influencersinthewild, and tanksgoodnews.com. And I also am... So,

  • I was talking to an investor about investing in Tank's Good News. It didn't work out, because

  • of multiple different reasons. Right? But an unbelievable guy. Really good guy.

  • So, I said, "Let's keep in touch, if something comes up we'll work on that." He called me

  • last week and he said that he's launching something called the True Heroes Fund, where

  • we're going to be finding... Like, my sister-in-law is a nurse.

  • Yes. She just became a nurse like six months ago.

  • To me, that's like joining the military during peacetime, and then all of a sudden before

  • you know it you're overseas fighting a war. She was not expecting to get into this.

  • So, whether it's somebody new, somebody seasoned, somebody who retired and is coming back, whether

  • they have to stay in a hotel, they can't buy protective equipment, whatever it is, we want

  • to support the people who work in the medical field literally putting their lives on the

  • line for us. Yes.

  • This guy has donated one million dollars of his own money. We're going to try and raise

  • another million, if we raise another million he's going to match it with another million.

  • So, it'll be three million dollars to go from everything for masks, to food, to funerals

  • of people who have lost their lives working in the front lines.

  • So, it's something that I'm very excited about. It's called the True Heroes Fund. I can't

  • wait to launch it. I think it's going to be launched on Monday. So, if this comes out

  • on Tuesday then it'll be live at that point. Well, you have my support right now. You also

  • have my commitment. I will donate as well, and if you want, we'll talk after this, but

  • we can coordinate a little bit and I'm happy to support you with all of our channels and

  • everything that we do, because making a difference and putting that into action is something

  • that we take very seriously, and it's one of our highest values. So, I'm in.

  • Yeah. Action. Yeah, and then eventually what we're trying to do is have somewhat of like

  • an award ceremony where we can have people come for a night of entertainment, comedy,

  • music, food, whatever, and give these people their due when this is all over and we can

  • all finally get in a room together. I love it. I love it.

  • I can't wait. Tank, thank you so very much for who you are.

  • Thank you for what you create. Thank you for what you put out in the world. Your humor,

  • your big heart, your love, and thanks for making the time today.

  • Thank you. All right, party people. Let's turn this insight

  • into action. Remember, we do not want passive listeners here on the Marie Forleo Podcast,

  • no we do not. We want you to take what you learn and use it to create results.

  • So, here is your insight to action challenge for today, part one. I want you to commit

  • right now to radically decrease your negative news consumption. I want you to get specific

  • too. What's your maximum each day? Is it five minutes? Is it 10 minutes? What is that source

  • of news, and what time of day is it best for you to really go in, get the information you

  • need and get out? And look, I don't want you to just commit.

  • In fact, I want you to declare it. That's right. And if you're real passionate about

  • this, you can even make me a video and send it to me on social. You can say something

  • like, "You know what Marie, I declare I will no longer despair from mindlessly consuming

  • too much damn negative news." Or do it whatever way you want to do it and tag me up.

  • Now, part two. You got to go fill your feeds with some real good stuff. Accounts that are

  • inspiring or uplifting, and if you don't already, you should really be following me on Instagram.

  • I'm @marieforleo, because I always post funny stuff, and positive stuff, and some dance

  • moves, and weird things, but it's always going to make you feel great.

  • And if you want even more accounts to follow, use the Google to find other positive news

  • sources. There are tons of them out there. Now, of course if you enjoyed this episode

  • screenshot it, tag me @marieforleo and share it with your people.

  • Or even better, leave us a positive review on Apple Podcast or Google Podcast because

  • let's face it, who likes crappy reviews? Nobody. And with that, I say thank you so much for

  • listening and until next time, stay on your game and keep going for your dreams, because

  • the world really does need that very special gift that only you have. Love you so much

  • and I'll catch you next time. Oh my goodness, you're incredible. You're

  • still listening. Now look, if you enjoyed this podcast I think you're going to really

  • love my free audio training called How To Get Anything You Want. You're going to learn

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What's up, party people? I'm Marie Forleo and for over 20 years I have been obsessed

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