Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • Hey, it's Marie Forleo, and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business

  • and life you love.

  • My guest today, she's a legend, and she continues to inspire me, and millions of other to live

  • joyfully and boldly, and with our hearts wide open.

  • Elizabeth Gilbert is the number one New York Times Best-selling author of Big Magic, and

  • Eat Pray Love, as well as several other internationally bestselling books.

  • She's been a finalist for the National Book Award, the National Book Critics Circle Award

  • and the PEN Hemingway Award.

  • Her new novel, City of Girls is a rollicking, sexy tale of the New York City theater world

  • during the 1940s.

  • Liz freaking Gilbert, ooh.

  • Ooh.

  • All we do is make sounds.

  • We don't make words...

  • Exactly.

  • I'm so freaking happy that you're back.

  • I mean, the last time we did this in this format, you were launching Big Magic.

  • Yeah.

  • And a lot has transpired in the world in your life.

  • Yes.

  • It's a whole different world in every way.

  • It was a whole different world.

  • In every way, okay.

  • Our lives were different, the world was different.

  • Very much so.

  • But anyway, I love you.

  • I've missed you.

  • I love all of our adventures.

  • I'm wearing your earrings.

  • Yeah, so can we talk about that for a minute?

  • Yeah.

  • I think we should just begin with that.

  • Tell us.

  • I'm wearing Jersey Marie's earrings because I needed a little extra badass power today.

  • So, I was like, "Can I borrow some of..."

  • And reached into your box and got the biggest possible ones that I can actually see in my

  • peripheral vision.

  • And you know that the earrings are not the right size unless you can see them from your

  • peripheral vision.

  • Yeah, no.

  • Those are Jersey Marie's earrings and they have special power.

  • It is so funny.

  • I'm showing Liz some jewelries to pick from, I'm like, "Oh, do you want to see these smaller?"

  • She's like, "Those."

  • I was like, "You went straight for Jersey Marie."

  • I like those ear bangles.

  • Yeah.

  • Give me those.

  • It's the best ever.

  • And I have to congratulate you.

  • So, Liz and I were hanging out talking in my dressing room, and I have to say, so City

  • of Girls, you guys, this book.

  • You need to get your hands on it.

  • Get your hands on this book for you and your friends.

  • It's phenomenal.

  • Thank you.

  • By the way, Josh is thanking you because he's always on my butt because he's like, "Can

  • you just stop reading self-help and personal development books?

  • Can't you just read a novel?"

  • And so when I was reading this, he's like, "Are you reading a novel?"

  • I'm like, "It's Liz Gilbert's new novel and it's fantastic."

  • Oh, thank you so much.

  • What was the inspiration?

  • Talk to us.

  • Okay.

  • This is a novel that is set in the New York City theater world of the 1940s.

  • It's about showgirls, playboys, actresses, dancers and more than anything else, it's

  • about promiscuous young women who are behaving with incredible sexual recklessness and reaping

  • consequences.

  • Wreaking havoc, creating all sorts of problems.

  • And it's a story I've wanted to tell for a really long time because I've always wanted

  • to write a book about promiscuous girls whose lives are not destroyed by their sexual desire.

  • And that is a very hard book to find in the classics of western literature.

  • Because usually, you get really punished.

  • You step out of line, you get really... you're under the wheels of the train.

  • You get poisoned, you're dead in a gutter, you're kicked out of good society, you're

  • ruined, ruined.

  • It's always stories of girls and women being ruined because they dared to want to experience

  • sexuality.

  • And that has not been my experience and it's not been the experience of a lot of women

  • that I know.

  • And I also didn't want to write a fake romantic sexual story where there are no consequences.

  • So, I had to kind of figure out how to walk this line.

  • How do I create this story where I have a character who's behaving with abandon?

  • Stuff happens to her, but she's able to survive her own choices, which I think all women do

  • and can.

  • The whole idea of a ruined woman is a kind of fantasy because, god, if that were true,

  • we'd all be ruined.

  • Who among us would still be here if we couldn't survive our own choices and our consequences

  • and sometimes even terrible punishment?

  • We can survive it.

  • So, that is what the book is about.

  • But where did the idea come from?

  • How long ago did you start feeling in your heart or in your mind or somewhere, just that

  • this needed to be born?

  • I was at my great-aunt's house, god, I want to say seven or eight years ago.

  • And she handed me some out of print books that she was getting rid of.

  • She's at that age where she's like, "I'm 90, I'm dying.

  • Take everything."

  • And so every time you leave her house, you've got piles of stuff.

  • And amongst these books were a collection of essays written in the 1930s and '40s by

  • a guy named Alexander Woollcott, who was a theater critic at the time.

  • And there were interviews and profiles of famous actresses who I had never heard of

  • because they were theater actresses.

  • They were British and American divas, these stage divas, opera singers.

  • And the world that he was talking about just seemed so impossibly glamorous to me.

  • He was going to the Ritz Carlton to have lunch with a visiting British actress who is starring

  • in Lady Macbeth and he's writing this whole profile of her and what she's wearing and

  • what they're drinking.

  • And I was like, "I want to play in that world.

  • I want to go back to New York City Midtown, sparkling champagne cocktail, showgirl theater

  • world and put my promiscuous girls right at the center of it and see what they get up

  • to."

  • And so was this a time period...

  • I'm so curious about the research in this because not only do I instantly just get pulled

  • into the story, it's so much fun, you are such a...

  • I'm not blowing smoke up your ass, you are fricking Liz Gilbert.

  • Your writing is impeccable and I just felt instantly pulled into this time machine, and

  • it was so glorious.

  • And so I was thinking to myself, "Goodness, does Liz know all this stuff about this time

  • period?

  • Or was this, 'Oh, wow, I have this idea, I want to envelop this world, but I also need

  • to do a shit ton of research?'"

  • Shit ton of research.

  • Okay.

  • Yeah.

  • Like four years of research.

  • Wow.

  • And which- What does that look like?

  • Well, it's like everything finding a historian to walk me around Times Square and show me

  • some existing theaters, but more importantly, to kind of have... paint a word picture so

  • he could show me what it used to look like.

  • So, we could stand there and we're right in front of a Nike store, but he's telling me

  • about the theater that used to be in that place.

  • And it was also reading a ton of novels that were written in the 1930s and '40s to get

  • the tone of the way that people spoke.

  • Interviews with former showgirls and actresses and dancers in their nineties about their

  • professional lives and their sex lives, which they were more than happy to talk to me about,

  • which was great.

  • And just an immersion, an absolute immersion.

  • It's almost like learning a second language, learning another time and another place is

  • like learning a new language.

  • So that by the time you write it, you can write it convincingly.

  • Really?

  • Okay.

  • So, it sounds like, and tell me if I'm tracking right because I just, I get fascinated by

  • process because I just think pieces of art like this are so brilliant and fascinating.

  • And we get to enjoy the end product, but I also get really excited about understanding

  • how things get weaved together and how they're birthed.

  • So, it sounds like there was idea, you got excited about this time period, and then you

  • dove into the pool of research hardcore.

  • Yeah.

  • Did you then start writing the story or did the characters start coming to you afterwards?

  • Or was it a blend, where you kind of danced in between?

  • For me, it starts with the location.

  • The first thing is New York City, 1940s, I have to learn the theater world, I have to

  • learn everything about it.

  • As I start researching, the characters come to me.

  • So, I'll get inspired by something that I read.

  • I'll be like, "Oh, it'd be so cool to have a character whose sort of like that."

  • Somebody who's referenced in a letter that I would read who is a playwright visiting

  • from LA and complaining that New York City is terrible in white shoes.

  • That kind of guy.

  • Like a dandy, bon vivant.

  • I'm like, "Oh, we could put something like that."

  • So, it starts to people itself.

  • And then for me, weirdly, the last piece of it that I have is the actual story.

  • First, I have the setting, then I have the people and then I have to figure out, what

  • are those people doing in that setting and what is the story I want to tell here?

  • And in this case, what I've written is kind of a mystery because it starts, the whole

  • book is an answer to a mysterious question where this woman whose now in her nineties

  • gets a letter from we don't know who, from a woman saying, "Now that my mother is dead,

  • I'm wondering if you'd be comfortable telling me what you were to my father."

  • And the whole book is her answer of what she was to this mysterious man and we don't quite

  • know who he is and it takes a long time to get there.

  • But I kind of wanted to tell a mystery story as well.

  • And did you, so again, this is...

  • By the way, y'all, I have to tell you, okay, so this is coming out...

  • Sometimes I forget when I'm recording interviews, I have to think about when we're actually

  • publishing them.

  • This is coming out very soon.

  • So, you all don't know, but Liz was kind enough to read some of the first pages of my upcoming

  • book- Which is so good.

  • I read more than a few pages.

  • I know you did.

  • I know, but- I read a lot of it and I would read more because

  • it's great.

  • I love you, thank you.

  • My point in bringing this up is that she gave me some advice and it was just like, "Marie,

  • for the love of all things holy, please trust Auntie Liz on this one."

  • And I was like, "Girl, I am trusting you," and reshaped the beginning of my book.

  • The reason I'm bringing this up is I'm curious if you knew the mystery piece, if you started

  • there, or if that, it was like, "Whoa, now I know how to start the book in terms of this

  • mystery."

  • I had that pretty soon.

  • The thing that's interesting, and I don't want to give away too much of the book-

  • Of course.

  • But I will say that the entire book is an answer to the question, "Vivian, what were

  • you to my father?"

  • That somebody's written a letter.

  • And I myself did not know that answer until we got to where the two of them meet.

  • And I was like, "Well, I need to find out what they are to each other.

  • I actually don't know."

  • And I was willing for it to be anything, but I decided to let magic take over at that point

  • and to let the two characters themselves show me what they were to each other.

  • And I was surprised myself by the answer to that question.

  • And it's so sexy.

  • Well, thank you.

  • Like, woo.

  • I'm in bed reading this and I was like, "When does Josh get home?"

  • Because again, I am such based on what I do and everything, it's like, I'm reading books

  • about the brain, and I'm...

  • You know what I mean?

  • Spirituality, and all that kind of stuff.

  • And to get lost in a story and then to have it be so hot.

  • And to have it- Yay.

  • That's what I wanted it to be.

  • Yes.

  • And to give all of the feels and then to be laughing.

  • It's phenomenal.

  • Thank you.

  • And I wanted this book, what I said to my editor, when I turned it in, was, "I want

  • this book to go down like a tray of champagne cocktails.

  • I want to make it so that you start that first page and you cannot put it down until the

  • end and you feel like you've been at a party.

  • I want it to have that kind of spirit."

  • And so I'm just so delighted that people are reporting that that's their experience with

  • it.

  • It is.

  • I was like, "Good, that's what I wanted it to be."

  • Yeah.

  • And what's so great, it's when you don't want a book to end, for me, it's like, no, no,

  • no, I want to take it slower.

  • No, no, no, I have to savor every page.

  • I know, I have that feeling too.

  • It's the best in the world.

  • So, one of the other things I really appreciated is that you just say, you're like, "Look,

  • these characters aren't woke.

  • They're all awakening as we all are."

  • Yes.

  • I thought that...

  • I was like, "Thank you for saying that," which it feel like it just gave me all of this space,

  • more space to just dive into this without having the burden of having to evaluate, what

  • does this mean in some?

  • Just thank you.

  • Oh, you're welcome.

  • And I love the Me Too movement and I think it's long overdue and essential and important.

  • And this is not a but, this is an and.

  • And.

  • And as important as the conversation is about female consent, consent is not the last or

  • only word when it comes to female sexuality.

  • There is also such a thing as female desire, which is a very different thing from consent.

  • Because consent seems to imply that a woman is kind of passively waiting, being attractive

  • and then a man will come and say, "Can I have this, this, and that?"

  • And she'll be like, "Yes, yes," or "No."

  • Right?

  • And my experience with sexual, my own sexual desires, it doesn't look like that.

  • And there are seasons of a woman's life where she's a predator, where she's like, "I want

  • that."

  • And when you see a woman standing in her full sexual power and looking across the room and

  • laying claim and saying, "That's what I'm after.

  • I want that and that and that and that."

  • That's what I wanted to write about in this book.

  • And I don't want the story of female desire to be lost in the debate over consent because

  • without our desire, we're not fully ourselves.

  • So, this is a book that celebrates female desire in all its muscular messiness.

  • Yeah.

  • It's imperfect and it's beautiful and supporting.

  • And you did so brilliantly.

  • Thank you, honey.

  • There's the...

  • Again, I don't want to give away too much, but one of the characters loses her virginity.

  • And just that whole- Oh, god, I had so much fun writing that scene.

  • I've never had more fun writing a scene than I had writing the losing the virginity scene.

  • It was incredible.

  • All of the mixture of feelings and awkwardness and observation and do...

  • It was so utterly, I'm like, I'm just giving you hands up like this all throughout every

  • page.

  • Oh, thanks.

  • Thank you.

  • But I wanted to bring that up because I feel like we haven't had this conversation yet,

  • which is why this book is so important.

  • Yeah.

  • So, so important.

  • Good.

  • And to have it in such a fun throwback, these little gin fizz kind of ways.

  • One of the things that came with the early reader copies, the galleys of the book was

  • this beautiful feather.

  • And as I was reading Liz's book, I had my feather out and I'm like, "I am loving this."

  • It's also a time period that I particularly love.

  • I love the music from the '40s.

  • I love going back to that time in even my mind's eye.

  • And it's just, yeah, so I just, I need to gush on you.

  • Aww.

  • Thanks, honey.

  • You're welcome.

  • So, I want to shift gears a little bit.

  • There was a quote that you emailed to me when you were actually having a housewarming party

  • and you quoted Joseph Campbell: “How we decide to live our lives at the most trying

  • moments.

  • Is it going to be a wasteland or is it going to be the Grail Quest?"

  • I want to talk about the incomparable Rayya and the adventure that you've been on these

  • past few years.

  • Yeah.

  • You got to meet her, which makes me so happy because you came to that party.

  • And I know you said later you were expecting to see this withered cancer patient and you

  • met this vibrant, vivid- Badass, gorgeous, hot woman.

  • Yes.

  • Yeah, yeah.

  • She was amazing.

  • So, Rayya was my best friend, but that word doesn't...

  • We had a 17 year relationship that started with her being my hairdresser and moved to

  • her being the love of my life and me taking her through her death of pancreatic and liver

  • cancer.

  • And along that way, she became... we were client and customer, and then we were patron

  • and artist because she had these incredible stories about the years that she had lived

  • on the Lower East Side as a heroin addict in the 1980s.

  • And I was always like, "Write your book.

  • Write your book."

  • And I actually created a space where she could do that.

  • And then we became friends and then we became best friends and then there was this long

  • period of time, and I was married, very happily married to a man, but there was this long

  • period of time where there simply was not a word for...

  • I couldn't find the right word for what she was in my life.

  • And I finally just settled on she was my person.

  • And what I meant by that was the most important person in my life.

  • The first phone call in every emergency.

  • The first phone call in every celebration.

  • The world comes to me for advice, I go to Rayya for advice.

  • Rayya was my beacon, and she was also, at some level, the only person in the world I've

  • ever felt completely safe and seen around.

  • And then she got diagnosed with terminal pancreatic and liver cancer.

  • And very quickly, on the heels of that diagnosis, it became...

  • I mean, it was so obvious.

  • It was right in front of me, but I had never seen it.

  • And very quickly, it became obvious that what she actually was, was my love.

  • And that I had to completely change my entire life in order to honor that because I could

  • not bear the idea of, I knew I would be the one holding her hand when she died.

  • I knew I would be that one from the day that phone call came.

  • But the idea of her leaving this earth not knowing how much I loved her and how I loved

  • her was unacceptable.

  • And so everything had to be changed and we had 18 months together, and it was...

  • What was the words that Joseph Campbell said, "Is it going to be a wasteland or is it going

  • be the Grail Quest?"

  • Exactly.

  • Yeah.

  • It was both.

  • Yeah.

  • It was both.

  • And I think the Grail Quest often takes place in a wasteland.

  • I mean, that's where you find the treasure of yourself and of your power is in those

  • darkest, most harrowing, horrible moments.

  • So, it was the worst thing I've ever had the honor and privilege to do and the best.

  • And I loved, I was sharing earlier, for anyone who hasn't heard this yet, I would highly

  • suggest that you search Elizabeth Gilbert, The Moth, the story that you told, the stories

  • that you told.

  • So utterly moving and brilliant and funny and devastating and everything all at once.

  • And it was just...

  • Because I was at my kitchen table at like 5:30 this morning with my coffee and I'm standing

  • up cheering and crying all at once.

  • Rayya took up a lot of space in the universe and still does.

  • The thing about somebody who's very vivid in life is that they remain very vivid in

  • death.

  • And not just myself, but everyone who knew her and even perfect strangers have reported

  • these kind of Rayya encounters or where they hear her voice and they're so sure, or they're

  • given a message, or they're, that she's so present and she never would've wanted to miss

  • anything.

  • And that's why I think she's remained so present.

  • But I think that people with that much charisma and that who take up that much room and that

  • much space, it echoes and it continues.

  • And I don't know whether that's her spirit from the beyond still in all its power or

  • whether it's the residual echo of how much she filled the world that we're still hearing

  • it and feeling it a year and a half after her death.

  • I want to read, you just have so many words, so you guys are going to have to deal with

  • this.

  • I'm going to quote Liz a lot and I'm just going to read your own words to you because

  • they're so beautiful.

  • "As you might expect, I've experienced knee-buckling grief this year and loneliness and belly-hollowing

  • loss.

  • But that's not all.

  • In Rayya's absence, somehow, shockingly, reassuringly, the world has continued to turn.

  • Not only does the world still turn, but it still enchants me.

  • To my surprise, I have discovered in the past year that beauty and love can still exist

  • in Rayya's wake.

  • Laughter can still be found everywhere I turn.

  • Friendship spill over to me in abundance."

  • And then you go on and you talk about that, in her honor, I have danced almost every day

  • this year.

  • I want to talk about that because you and I got together and ran into each other in

  • LA.

  • And it was beautiful because you were dancing every day.

  • Where did that notion come from and what impact did that have on you?

  • I picked it up from Rayya's ex-wife, Gigi, who is also one of my dearest, most beloved

  • friends, who somehow...

  • And was also one of the people taking care of Rayya when she died.

  • And somehow, she communicated this because she's a dancer and she's a very physical...

  • And you are as well.

  • You know there's something that can be released in dance that can't be released any other

  • way.

  • And what she was communicating to me was that grief is a heavy cement that gets into your

  • bones and pulls you down.

  • And dance is the way of letting energy move through you so that it can move out of you

  • because what you want to stay is soft.

  • And so, I just got in the habit, she and I got in the habit of just, we would dance every

  • day.

  • But I just take Rayya's playlists and hit shuffle and say, "You pick."

  • And I dance every morning to a song that she picks.

  • And sometimes, I dance to a Leonard Cohen song and I'm weeping.

  • And other times, it's like Lynyrd Skynyrd and I'm doing whatever I do then.

  • But it always seems to be the perfect one.

  • And I think that dance is the opposite of stagnation, it's the opposite.

  • There's a great line that the writer Andrew Solomon said that the opposite of depression

  • is not happiness, the opposite of depression is vitality.

  • And dance is a way of actually bringing vitality back into your life and into movement.

  • And grief and depression are not the same thing.

  • I've been depressed in my life.

  • Depression is an inability to feel or refusal to feel.

  • It's a shutting down.

  • And grief, when you allow it to live in its fire in you is a very active, living force

  • that has an element of rejoicing in it.

  • And the rejoicing is to have loved so much that you are so devastated to have lost, that

  • you got to love this much.

  • And it's got that energy in it.

  • And so I find that I had expected to be catapulted into depression because of grief, but I wasn't.

  • I was catapulted into grief and it's something else very different and it's very sacred.

  • We were talking about that over our Italian dinner.

  • And I was so- We were.

  • I was so moved and inspired by our conversation about there are different approaches to grief.

  • You were just sharing so many beautiful things.

  • And I'm like, "I have never heard anyone talk about their experience moving through this

  • type of emotional reality with so much creativity."

  • I think it's the greatest creative challenge of my life.

  • I think that grieving Rayya has been the single greatest creative challenge of my life, and

  • I've taken it as a creative challenge.

  • Look, your whole life is a creative activity.

  • People who say, "I don't have a creative bone in my body," it's like you've... did you not

  • choose the person that you married?

  • That was an act of creativity.

  • You had a creative vision of your future when you met this person.

  • And you came together with them and you two are creating that, that's creativity.

  • Everything that you decide, everything that you surround yourself with, everything that

  • you make is creativity.

  • And grieving requires enormous creativity because, so for me, I just see it as a massive

  • cosmic riddle at the mythical level.

  • What am I supposed to do with this?

  • This is the one person in the world, you heard me say this, the one person in the world I

  • ever felt safe and seen by and that person is not here anymore.

  • That's interesting.

  • What am I now going to do?

  • How am I going to create safety and the feeling of being seen when in a Rayya-less world?

  • Interesting challenge.

  • How am I going to do it?

  • And I'm living into that question every single day since her death because I believe in a

  • benevolent universe.

  • And so in my universe, it can't be the story is we took away from you this thing and you'll

  • never find it in anything or anywhere else on earth.

  • This is the only place it could ever be.

  • That is so unbearably cruel and impossible for me in my world.

  • Because in my world, it's only abundance and giving.

  • And so, I was given Rayya and now I'm given the challenge of who I'm going to be in the

  • post-Rayya world.

  • And that requires awakeness, an alertness and a sense of adventure, too.

  • And the thing I keep throwing out there because I think it's the singular most daring possible

  • radical thing that I could say.

  • And I say it almost as a challenge and a prayer to any of you who are in grief, the puzzle

  • that I'm also sitting with is this.

  • There was a life that I could only have with Rayya and that life is no longer available.

  • And there is a life that I can only have without Rayya and that life is just beginning.

  • And it's a life I could only have without her.

  • There are things that I could only do without her, that if she had been alive and in the

  • world, I wouldn't do.

  • There are relationships that I can only have now that she's not here.

  • There's a whole changed world without her.

  • And I'm equally fascinated by what that one is.

  • And I think the real sense of creative adventure is for me to say yes ahead of time to the

  • new one.

  • And say, "I don't know what it is yet, but I'm in.

  • I'm in.

  • Show me and I'm game."

  • And I'm willing to believe that it's my destiny to have just as beautiful a life after her

  • as ahead with her.

  • I'm going to go to a Facebook post that you wrote a few years ago.

  • I think sometimes we forget that we are merely temporary visitors to earth, temporary occupants

  • of these bodies.

  • We take our lives perhaps too seriously sometimes when we forget our ultimate destination whether

  • it's 90 years or nine years, after all, eventually we will all be leaving this party.

  • When we forget our essential transience, when we think that we're going to be here forever,

  • all of our choices become so weighty, so significant, so intimidating.

  • But we won't be here forever.

  • So maybe it doesn't really matter as much as we think it matters.

  • Maybe you can be a bit lighter about your choices.

  • That being the case, what do you want to do before you go?

  • What would be interesting to you?

  • What would bring you enjoyment, or elevation, or transcendence?

  • And what's to be lost, really, in giving new things a try?

  • We're just passing through life.

  • Might as well check it out a bit while we're here, right?

  • I needed to hear that today.

  • It was so funny, because I...

  • Thank you.

  • I was just was going back and forth in my mind.

  • I'm like, "Mm."

  • I was like, "Yes."

  • And it's so powerful.

  • Liz, these are your words.

  • Why don't we check it out a bit while we're here?”

  • Look, I have literally no idea what the fuck is going on here.

  • I have no idea.

  • We were on this tiny ball spinning through Earth at 67,000 miles an hour around a star

  • in a middle of a universe where we appear to be the only ones here so far.

  • I mean, we've been looking.

  • They've been looking and they're like, "Don't see anybody else."

  • And we are not only the only ones, we're on this planet that's full of life and there

  • aren't other ones so far that we've found.

  • And we're the only lifeforms that have consciousness and self-awareness.

  • And live in past, present, have such things as history and futures and myth and story

  • and divinity and all of these rich, complex things.

  • And grief and sorrow and devastation and hatred.

  • And we're just so volatile.

  • We are such a weird species.

  • And then we get dropped into these families.

  • We come out of the bubblegum shoot, and it's like, "Oh, hey.

  • Here's your..."

  • This is my family?

  • You're like, "For real?

  • This is my culture?

  • This is my language?

  • What?

  • Like, why?"

  • I have no idea.

  • I have no idea.

  • And then you die?

  • What?

  • And you know you're going to the whole time.

  • We're also the only species on earth who has that...

  • Awareness.

  • Awareness.

  • Like, "Hey, guess what?

  • You're going to die."

  • There's one, only one guarantee and it always takes us by surprise.

  • Even though it's still literally the only thing that was ever promised.

  • It's the only thing that's ever promised.

  • And each time we're like, "What?

  • That happened again?"

  • There was a great headline in The Onion satirical paper one time that said, "Earth's death rate

  • holding steady at 100%."

  • And it's like, we still are like, "What?"

  • Each time, it's like, "This is a tragedy.

  • How did this happen?"

  • It's like, "How did it happen?

  • It's the only thing I can promise you is going to happen."

  • It's so bizarre and I don't know.

  • I don't know what any of it means or what any of it's for, but my god, it's interesting.

  • It's such a weird, interesting ride to be a person.

  • And I don't want to miss it.

  • I don't want to miss this weird, weird rollercoaster ride.

  • That's what I love about you and I'm so just blessed to have you as a friend because I

  • feel like I can catch up with you on Instagram.

  • I'm like, "There's Liz living it.

  • Living it fully."

  • And it's such a great reminder to all of us.

  • I mean, we can just get caught up, right?

  • Scrolling at your damn phone or doing the busy work or trying to reach for the next

  • achievement or the next relationship, or whatever, without really taking a moment to go like,

  • "Wait, hold on a second.

  • What might I be missing?

  • What fun could there be?

  • And what if I stop taking the whole damn thing so seriously?"

  • I mean, you just creating this miracle of a book and all of your work, I think that's

  • what's just... it's just what is so absolutely life affirming about who you are as a being

  • and your- Aw, thank you.

  • Your courage and your transparency and how much you let us all in.

  • Aw, thank you.

  • To see all of it.

  • Aw, I like having everyone in.

  • Yeah, yeah.

  • I mean, my turnaround time for when I learn something to when I feel I have to share it

  • is sometimes minutes because it feels like a burden.

  • For me to know something or to have been helped by something or to have been given something

  • really useful and then just hold it and not instantly try to pass it to whoever I'm with

  • or on social media, feels like a burden on my heart.

  • That's the whole reason I do what I do.

  • Yeah.

  • Because every time I make a discovery or I read something great, I'm like, "How does

  • the world not know about this?

  • I have a big mouth.

  • I like talking.

  • I need to start telling to more people.

  • That's the whole reason this whole thing exists."

  • I love it.

  • And look how much it brings you.

  • Yes.

  • The more you give them that, the bigger you grow in your heart and in your own soul.

  • Yes, yes.

  • I'm wondering if you would be willing to close this out here with reading this little last

  • passage in City of Girls.

  • Yeah.

  • Is that cool with you?

  • Yeah.

  • Sorry about the crappy line I drew, I was going really fast.

  • But it's your words, so you can probably read it.

  • Okay.

  • This is what I found about life as I've gotten older.

  • You start to lose people, Angela.

  • It's not that there's ever a shortage of people, oh heavens, no, it is merely that as the years

  • pass, there comes to be a terrible shortage of your people, the ones you loved, the ones

  • who knew the people that you both loved.

  • The ones who knew your whole history.

  • Those people start to be plucked away by death and they are awfully hard to replace after

  • they go.

  • After a certain age, it can become difficult to make new friends.

  • The world can begin to feel lonely and sparse, teeming though it may be with freshly minted

  • young souls.

  • I'm not sure whether you've had that feeling yet, but I've had it.

  • And you may have that feeling someday.

  • All of this is why I want to end by saying that although you owe me nothing and I expect

  • nothing from you, you are precious to my heart nonetheless.”

  • Aww.

  • And should you ever find that your world feels lonely and spare and that you need a

  • new friend, please remember that I am here.

  • I don't know how much longer I will be here of course, but as long as I remain on this

  • earth, my dear Angela, I am yours.”

  • Yeah.

  • That's it.

  • I mean, really, I say that it's a book about sex, but it's really a book about female friendship

  • and about saying that to somebody, "Hey, if it's getting hard for you, find me.

  • Come and find me, I'm here."

  • Yes.

  • Absolutely.

  • And I feel like you have given us all so much of that through your beautiful work and obviously-

  • Oh, Marie.

  • I say that to you anytime, baby.

  • I'm always here for you.

  • I know, and you have been.

  • Thank you.

  • And I love you very, very, very much.

  • I love you too.

  • Thank you, sweetheart.

  • Now, Liz and I would love to hear from you.

  • So, we talked about so many beautiful things today.

  • I'm curious, what is the insight that you're taking away from this conversation and what

  • does it mean in your heart?

  • Tell us about it in the comments below.

  • Now, as always, the best conversations happen over at marieforleo.com, so head on over there

  • and leave a comment now.

  • While you're there, be sure to subscribe to our email list and become an MF Insider.

  • You'll get instant access to an audio I created called How To Get Anything You Want, plus

  • some exclusive content, some special giveaways and a few personal updates from me that I

  • just don't share anywhere else.

  • Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world really does need

  • that special gift that only you have.

  • Thank you so much for watching and we'll catch you next time on MarieTV.

  • Hey, you having trouble bringing your dreams to life?

  • Guess what.

  • The problem isn't you.

  • It's not that you're not hard working or intelligent or deserving.

  • It's that you haven't yet installed the one key belief that will change it all.

  • Everything Is Figureoutable.

  • It's my new book and it launches September 10th.

  • You can order it now at everythingisfigureoutable.com.

  • Life is in session.

  • I like that.

  • Liz, Liz, Liz.

  • Love that pillow.

  • You just breathe it out.

  • I hope I wasn't on camera because it's literally like

  • How is she doing that?

Hey, it's Marie Forleo, and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business

Subtitles and vocabulary

Click the word to look it up Click the word to find further inforamtion about it