- I've never seen so many mattresses. - Yeah.

How many do you think there are?

- Ten. - Cool.

Nothing compares to the smell of cheap plastic novelty items.

Pranks, gags and gross out toys as far as the eye can see.

Isn't it everything I said it would be, Patrick?

Hey, Cinna-brittle!

Oh, darn it! Not again.

Pine cones, pine cones, pine cones.

These pipe cleaners are simply delightful.

Old lady, quick! I'm looking for the scented pine cones.

It's an emergency.

Well, I hope you weren't looking to buy them, sonny,

because Grandma already picked up all they had.

Once again, you and I are kept apart,

oh sweet scented pine cones.

Hey, Gary.

Nothing satisfies like a good story.

- Are you ready to go, Patrick? - Ah! Get back!

I wasn't gonna eat all of you!

Patrick, it's me.

- Sponge... - Ew.

Wow, a magic shop.

Are you a magician?

One time, I saw this magician and he did this thing...

Anyway, and then he told us, if you believe in yourself

and with a tiny pinch of magic,

all of your dreams can come true.

[groaning]

Guess what, Squidward!

We stink!

[humming]

Spatula, spatula...

Port and starboard attachments.

Hi there.

[screaming]

Hey, don't you want a free balloon?

It's National Free Balloon Day.

Hey Squidward, wanna blow some bubbles?

- Only 25 cents. - Oh, right.

Like I would spend a moment of my time blowing bubbles.

Uh-huh.

Next stop: gift shop.

Mind if I test it out?

Yeah, this does feel comfortable.

Could you excuse me a moment?

[snoring]

[growling]

[groaning]

[screaming]

Ah, forget it.

So, what do you think?

[screaming]

♪ Twinkle, twinkle, Patrick Star ♪

Price check on industrial sized econo-pack of raw fiber.

Well, what do you think?

Sorry, Doc. I don't really think it's me.

That's A-OK, that's cool. As lead surgeon here,

I take the Hypothetical Oath, which means I will not stop.

I will not rest, I will not cut a single toenail

until the customer is 100% satisfied.

So please, browse our extensive wall of noses.

[screaming]

[screaming]

Huh?

Dear valued Tom's Toolery customers,

we are closed this week in observance of Porpoise Day.

Please call again. Barnacles!

Hi, I need a birthday cake.

This is what I got.

Sorry about the scabies...

Um, could you change it to say "Happy Birthday"?

Do you want it or not? I haven't got all night.

Yeah, neither do I.

Angry Jack's Shell Emporium.

Angry Jack's!

I'm so angry about my massive inventory,

that I'm slashing prices like crazy!

Jack's angry!

99.99 buy this refurbished shell,

and I'm angry about it!

Or what about this one?

Brand-new plastic shell, super gloss coat,

only 39.99!

Hey! Get those numbers out of my face!

Patrick shopping for cookery?

Very suspicious. He's coming back!

[shattering]

I don't think that I dropped-- Oh why Squidward, you shouldn't have!

Well, your options are endless, Mr. Star.

Anywhere from beautiful white sandy beaches,

to exhilarating jungle safaris.

It all depends on your budget.

[groaning]

I guess I'll just have to stay home.

Pitchfork Pantry, of course.

Ahh! Ow!

The Krusty Krab's not there anymore? Where did it go?

I pawned it to raise the cash for the concert tour.

- You did what? - Yeah, hard to believe, I know.

My heart aches when I think of my girl cold and lonely,

just sitting in the front window of that dirty pawn shop

at the mercy of any random Joe who just happens by.

[whistling]

Hoppin' hamburger stands!

[laughing]

Just like clockwork.

The twerp approaches.

Time for phase three.

Aw, shrimp!

Oh, dry cleaning in one hour.

Uh, ticket please.

Has it already been an hour? One more time!

[giggling]

Whoa! You were so convincing.

You had that guard totally fooled.

I think we can skip to the end of the story.

Let's just stop here to pick up some props for your evil lair.

We'll just need a few dollars.

Boink!

I'm supposed to be the villain,

so why do I feel like I'm being robbed?

[moaning]

Hey, shapes and noises. I love it!

[laughing]

I need to launder these bills, fast.

I know just the place, but first, let me adjust your seat.

Hey! What's the big idea?

Just grabbing some measurements.

Sir, try to keep still.

Whoa there! Don't you need some other measurements?

I mean, how about me inseam?

No, you can put that away, sir. I'm almost done.

Ah! The bridge is out!

[screaming]

That's a sweet little boat.

You're a smart shopper.

Oh, I'm not shopping, I'm playing.

[horn honking]

Hi, Squidward!

Ooh, he-he!

I got a plan! Hold on!

Ah, there's nothing quite like a brand new shirt.

Whoops, forgot the tag.

I got it!

[groaning]

Ah, nothing beats cashmere.

Oh, a bit warm for a sweater today though.

I can help!

No, no, no, no!

[screaming]

Oh, come on!

[mumbling]

Let's see that twine-twirling twit try to unravel this!

Huh?

Um, hello?

Hello there!

Welcome to Clock World where we always have time for a bargain!

How can I help you?

Do you have another alarm clock like my old one?

Hm...

Ah, the 740 Foghorn Wake-Em-Up Grand.

I'm sorry to say they don't make this model anymore.

But if you have a second,

I have many others I can show you.

Wow. So many to choose from.

Oh, I'll never be able to choose a clock with this many choices.

I'll just take 'em all!

Ah! I'm rich!

[screaming]

[screaming]