I've been talking to everyone

I can possibly talk to in the house.

My wife is nodding.

Anyone I can talk to, but I'm also FaceTiming

and Skyping and Zooming.

But turns out not just me, also my dog is doing it.

Take a look.

-Oh, good chat with you, bud.

I love you.

[ Birds chirping in distance ]

[ Ringing ]

[ Chime ] -Jeremy!

-Gary? -My Lizard!

-Oh, Gary, I miss you, dog! -Oh, what is going on?

It's been forever!

-I don't know. Whatever is going on is insane.

I don't know what day it is.

I don't change my colors anymore.

I haven't shed my skin in literally weeks.

-I know, right? I mean I always wish

they were home more often, but this is crazy.

I feel like I pissed off a genie or something.

-[ Laughs ] That's funny, I think.

I'm dumb. Apparently, my brain's the size of a basketball.

-Well, basketballs are big, Jeremy.

-See, dumb. I can't keep my balls straight.

-Oh, and they put me in this show.

-That's cool, right? -Ugh! It's embarrassing.

Look at Gary, the silly monkey dog.

Isn't it funny? We gave her a man's name!

-I'm a freakin' bearded dragon named Jeremy.

I should be called something fierce

like Viper or Firestorm --

Queen Dragasaurus!

Jeremy sounds like a guy from HR

no one wants to talk to at a holiday party.

-You know what, Jer? How about it?

You and me, we bust out of here!

-Bust out? -You sneak out of your house.

I sneak out of mine. And we get the hell out of here

and finally start the band!

-The first bearded dragon golden retriever

metal band ever -- Rabid Dragon!

-Jer! -Oh, shoot, hold on.

-Jer, where are you? -She's coming.

-How did you get over here? -Gary, I'll talk to you later.

Okay? I got to go.

She's putting me back in that invisible box thing.

-I love you, Jeremy.

I'll see you soon again, I promise.

Ugh, people. We're just toys to them.

Well, the next time I see that woman,

I'm going to give her a piece of my --

-Gary? Hi, honey. -Oh, my God, it's you!

I know you! I love you! I love everything I recognize!

-Who's a good girl? -I am! I'm the best girl.

Did you see me on the show? Huh?

Did ya?! Did ya?! Yay!

Everything is new again!

-My thanks to Gary who sounds a little bit like

my pal Drew Barrymore,

and of course, Jeremy, who sounds a little bit like

my pal Cameron Diaz. Ah, whatever.

It was great to hear from both of those animals.