[ Cheering, whistling, and applause ]

A pug in North Carolina

has tested positive for the coronavirus.

"Help! I'm having trouble breathing!"

Said a pug without coronavirus.

"I'm starting to think we're not a breed

that's still supposed to be around."

The White House yesterday scheduled, canceled,

and then rescheduled

its daily Coronavirus Task Force press briefing.

Wow, that's the kind of calm, steady leadership

you usually only get from brunch plans with Ashley.

The Los Angeles Lakers reportedly qualified

for almost $5 million

from a federal government program created

to provide relief to small businesses.

Meanwhile, the New York Knicks qualified

for federal disaster relief.

White House advisor

and President Trump's son-in-law Jared Kushner

said this weekend that the administration is working

to bring manufacturing back to the U.S.,

in order to prepare for future pandemics and,

"Make sure we're never reliant on foreign supplies again."

Said Kushner, "The only thing we should be getting from overseas

is dirt on Joe Biden."

Fighter jets from the Air Force Thunderbirds

and Navy Blue Angels performed a joint flyover

of several states yesterday

to honor the nation's healthcare workers.

And what a great way to salute people

who are, by all accounts, indoors.

♪♪