If you're here because of Nanette,

why?

Had I known just how wildly popular

trauma was going to be in the context of comedy,

I might've budgeted my shit a bit better.

But I went and put all my trauma eggs

into one basket

like a fucking idiot, and now, here we are.

When I first started touring here,

I was told I should Americanize my language.

To which I responded,

"Fuck off!"

I mean, I've made some concessions for you.

I'm not a monster.

Aluminum?

Why would you say "aluminium,"

when you can flirt it?

"Aluminum."

Stop it, America.

And "y'all"? I'm taking "y'all."

I love "y'all,"

because "y'all"

is the best, most inclusive

second-person plural pronoun

in the English-speaking world!

Thank you, the South.

What an ally.