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[Overcoming shyness. How to be a better you?]
[克服害羞內向！如何成為更好的自己？]
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Well, the best way to recognize if you're shy is that you're going to have an extreme focus on yourself.
如何判別自己是否害羞內向？如果你對於自己的專注遠超於一切，那你就很可能是個害羞內向的人。
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You'll be more focused on you than your environment, and you'll be more focused on you than the people around you.
不論是與週遭環境或是他人相比，你都更專注在自己身上。
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And most likely, you will dread any type of interaction or connection with another person.
你很可能會對於與他人有互動或連結感到十分恐懼。
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Even though you most likely really long for that.
儘管你的內心是很渴望與人交集的。
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You know, the biggest problem that a shy person has is that they label themselves as shy.
一個害羞者最大的問題就是他會為自己貼上「害羞」的標籤。
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And when we label ourselves as shy, we act like a shy person would.
當我們為自己貼上這個標籤時，我們就會作出與標籤相符的行為。
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And people don't naturally gravitate towards a shy person because we could feel their discomfort.
而人們通常不會被害羞的人吸引，因為我們能感受到他們的不安。
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So, the best thing that you could do is to challenge yourself by going into social situations that you either know somebody that you trust,
如果你想克服害羞，那不妨挑戰一下自己，去參加一些有你可以信任、
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that you can really rely on to help you overcome that initial first step,
可以依賴的人存在的社交場合，借助他們幫你跨出克服害羞的第一步，
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which is always the most difficult, or you can really put the focus onto somebody else.
畢竟第一步總是最困難的，或者你也可以試著把專注力從自己轉移到他人身上。
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The great news for a shy person is that people are so self-absorbed, they love to talk about themselves.
對於一個害羞的人來說，一個好消息是人們通常都只顧自己，他們喜歡談論自己的事。
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So all you need to do is ask a question as simple or easy as "How was your day?"
所以你只需要問一個簡單輕鬆的問題，像是：「你今天好嗎？」。
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And the other person will start talking and you can be more focused on them than you.
另一個人就會開始講話，那你就可以更專注在他們身上，而非自己。
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And sooner or later, you will find that the only reason why you are shy is because you thought that you were.
然後你會發現你之所以害羞，原來只是因為你以為自己就是如此。
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There's not necessarily a strategy for a small group or for a large group,
不需要有什麼應對大小群體的策略，
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but I think that, you know, when there's a bigger group of people for a shy person,
我覺得如果害羞的人要應付的人數很多，
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that situation is naturally more overwhelming instead of needing to deal with the seven,
這種情況就會讓他感到壓力，比起只與 7 個人相處，
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which could seem manageable, dealing with 20 or 30 or 50 could seem just completely overwhelming.
可能還應付得來，但如果人數上升到 20、30、50 人，對害羞的人來說可能就太過吃力了。
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So, that's where you really want to focus on your breathing and you want to break the room down.
每當這個時候，你可以試著專注在自己的呼吸上，調節自己的心情，然後把一大群人細分成小群體。
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And what I mean by that is that you just have to focus on the person who's in front of you.
我的意思是，你先把這一大群人細分成小群體，然後把專注力擺在你眼前的人身上就好。
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Set yourself up for some kind of challenge and then a reward.
為自己設一些挑戰以及目標。
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You know, no matter how many people are at this event tonight, I'm going to speak with three people.
比方說，不論今晚的活動有多少人參加，我要跟 3 個人講到話。
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Create your intentions before you go to the events.
在前往活動之前，幫自己設定好目標。
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I'm going to have a meaningful conversation.
我要進行一段有意義的對話。
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I know for myself, when I used to go out to all the bars and all the clubs before I was engaged, I always had the intention to have a meaningful conversation.
在我訂婚前，我很常去酒吧和夜店，當我身在這些場合時，我一直都很清楚自己尋求的是與人進行一場有意義的對話。
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And I didn't care if it was with a bartender or a girl in the bathroom or a guy who was trying to, you know, hit on me.
我不在乎對方是酒保，或是我在廁所遇到的女生，或是前來搭訕的男生。
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It was this idea of really wanting to make a deep and meaningful connection in a place where people don't usually have deep and meaningful connections.
因為我想要的是在一個一般人通常不會進行深入且有意義的連結的地方，來建立一個深刻而有意義的連結。
