amazing it's like you know you were talking about and I've done the exact same thing with

screen time when you're presented that humiliating number of hours and you've been telling friends

you're busy and you're fucking looking at that just thinking like dude I've been like

you know looking at bullshit but then before you do that you like but it's my job you know

I've got to kind of be online.

it's like no you're addicted to technology.

and because you can't stand the fact that you don't have the discipline to stop using

it, you would rather make up a story involving some absolutely verifiable bullshit so that

you don't have to deal with the fact that you arent in full control of yourself.

And it's a non rewarding addiction which is really strange it's like when you looking

at stories on like the Apple news feed or something you're scrolling looking for something

that's going to Captivate you yeah what is oh the Apple having problems that keyboards

and start reading this and it's like oh you can't Huawei can't sell laptops new us anymore

like how much of that am I like you were saying earlier how much that is junk thoughts yeah

he's a junk thoughts like junk food junk food youre just consuming.

consuming and I don't think it's useless I think it serves a purpose like

some of it does if I mean in the sense of maybe not a purpose

in the way you're going to be as a human but a purpose in the sense of like

if you apply a little bit of like mindfulness when you're using your phone how do I feel

right now you know I'm talking about like I do I fucking feel you realize you feel a

specific way it's a kind of like numbness there's a quality of like kind of like sedated

numbness to the hypnotic State you've been lulled into by the algorithms and there's

some pleasant kind of like I guess you could compare it to some like low-level euphoric

painkiller but not very euphoric mostly just a mild numbness that is pretty good at turning

off anxiety or you could at least displace your own personal anxiety like if I'm scanning

through my phone and I find the inevitable bad news whatever form its in I could pretend

that my anxiety is related to that news you know and then that's when you get people who

are very anxious and they say I've seen it either side who was a famous

some person tweeted I'm here in this beautiful place and I cant enjoy it because of our president

you know what I mean it's like whoa I don't I'm not sure that's the real reason why you

cant enjoy that place.

I think it might be actually that you haven't dealt with the fact that you're a vet you're

freaking the fuck out right yeah that to me is like this the purpose of a phone it's very

good at tricking yourself into thinking that the reason you feel like shit is because of

something happening in the world it's a bandwidth eater too and here's what

the problem with that is sometimes you have these legitimate thoughts and when you have

these legitimate thoughts meaning like meaning like something you working on

something you're like whether it's an idea you're trying to do on stage or something

else another project that you're doing these things they require your bandwidth right and

when you're always looking at your phone it chips away percentages of your bandwidth 10

here 5 there 20 there at 7 there and you don't think about it because no I'm still concentrating

on the project I'm still on the project the project the project the project yeah but really

no really you're into rivers at the same time.

you're in this wacky River of nonsense and wondering who got this and how much they're

getting in this divorce and who died in the Dominican Republic oh my God another person

another tourist oh my God yeah you know and you're just you if you want to look at all

the bad stuff that happens among seven billion people you have to think of all the interactions

that humans have all the literally billions of interactions Everyday People constantly

and occasionally one goes Fucking Western yeah

one goes sideways and that's the one you see on YouTube Jesus Christ this world's going

to shit and then you watch another one you watch another one you watch infectious diseases

and snake bites and what happens when you get necropsy when your fucking flesh starts

falling off flesh-eating bacteria say how they get that snorkeling the next thing you

know you're fucking just numb numb to your real life because you're taking in data from

everywhere yeah that's it , fuck man and it's like then

that gets inside of you and now you're just a turbulent you have a turbulent self that

is digested a version of the world that's only half true and so because of that you're

going to be half a person because you're not looking into like your own whatever the fuck

you are.

I've had friends that legitimately lost her mind.

I can't talk to anymore, like, like you talked about events in his version of events or just

like.

So not what actually happened, This is a process lost their marbles, yeah yeah, happens you

you can temporarily lose your marbles on permanent origin or permanently, but I think that, like

I mean I permanently.

saying people that just can't keep together anymore and

whatever reason weather A combination of life, stress and biological situation whatever the

fuck they ve got going on you now you equally in their own brain, but some people, others

are not there anymore, not keeping together, do they think they're keeping it together.

the brain- is an organ in it malfunctions and Sometimes you go nuts and that's in UK

Stigmatize, for which really sacks, because if you like that just adds to the problem

like if you you know you see somebody in a caste and you're like all would have been

your arm and I'll.

Tell ya.

You know whatever I fell down, but do you you talk to someone he's been like hospitalized

for a few weeks and they tell you I go to the hospital nervous breakdown.

I went crazy shit, my pants, whom I dont thoroughly.

Now you know you you'll want you want to be compassionate there's something maybe that's

like.

Oh now.

This has occurred

easy person like it she's still something happened, the operating system temporarily

crashed, and quite often I think that could be a very good thing.

I think that having your your personality, or your ego crash, can often mean that you

were trying to be somebody that you aren't and some people invest so much energy.

So a much energy Self defining

yeah, they just want to be some thing.

You know since they were a kid their mother was telling them.

You should be like this, and then they try to be like this and they hold up this thing.

They're always working to hold up this giant tail feathers and their arms start shaking.

And then they can't hold it up and that's that's when they have like anger, outbursts

or suddenly, like their friends like you “You turned into someone I've never met.

I don't know who that is”.

Its like No That is them.

you met Them. you met underneath the tale, feather deceiving sea of anger and disappointment

and sadness they move it.

You met that thing that they're they're, trying to avoid by looking up at this mask they're

holding up to the world, but that Fucking, seething, sea of disappointment, anger and

horror and sadness that Tat man you gotta go that thing.

Some people, the only way they can go into that is by having a full scale nervous breakdown,

because then they can have permission to dive into that into that awful vortex of darkness,

because underneath that vortex of darkness is paradise, underneath that love of unhappiness

enjoy and connection and tranquillity, and all that stuff in everyone's thinks that the

way to get to that point is by avoiding this awful black forest that surrounds the garden

of Eden, which is inside everybody?

It's inside everybody?

It's there, it's air and it doesn't matter.

You know you can work out in now.

if we give you a temporarily temporary good feeling, but will you addressed the internal

structures that you have an acknowledged you're, always gonna, go back to that place where

you and yourself morose and depressed and angry, and you dont know why you're here after

that place until you sit with sadness inside of you.

You have to do that when you describe is coming out of the closet yeah, for a lot of people.

That is what it is me it's coming out of the closet and there's a lot of closets and analyse

the gay clause in there's all kinds of closet.

There's the artists closet.

Some people are fucking accountants, their wearing shoots in their ties on tight and

they're fucking, like the and discipline, but inside there probably painters they probably

want to fucking paint they wanna Paynton Day glow mountains down at the beach, that's what

they really are, but their daddy or their mommy wanted them to be a good little business

man.

So they became this thing.

That's the opposite of what they are.

This is the vote.

in the back of our Gaeta God.

Forgive me

have quoted it way too many times, but it is better to be an honest street sweeper than

a design king, it's better to be a happy guy, brushing fucking weaves up the street than

it is to be some zillion air who inside is dying or non are miserable, mostly not numbs.

The Most people does not as long as these people can quantify on paper, I still have

a ex million dollar home.

My car still cost Ex thousand hours.

This suit is an ex suit.

I am still ahead.

I am not going to abandon all these things as long as they don't see through the bullshit

play the game, they think they're winning they have to follow their yeah.

It's almost like you have to fall to to really.

That's what you gotta appreciate those moments when it off falls only because that means

you've got an opportunity to try it again.

Let's take a new fresh perspective..

And it's a beautiful idea in that heart break is actually your ego cracking.

the moment that cracks you're in the experience of truth and when you're in the experience

of truth, that's when you can really become who you are.

but to get to who are are - it's like when you known a bone heels the wrong way like

that's whatthe people's entire personality, is it's like a bone that grew the wrong way

and that needs a fuckin as snap crack.

You know Will you get that through me that that initial fucking thing in beautiful analogy

and it hurts but we're pain avoiding creatures.

So we think that so we're always running away from this pain, but problem is, as we're running

away from pain, we're still exactly in paying its base.

it's like being on fire and running away from water, you're just running away from

the water, because for some that's stupid analogy actually now you have great up into

that.