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  • (upbeat music)

  • - Oh, my husband and I are making the most of this time.

  • We're going on walks together, and we're having

  • deep, meaningful conversations about the future.

  • - Well, my daughter and I are having cooking classes.

  • We're just going straight through the book, and I am

  • teaching her how to make all of Meemaw's famous recipes.

  • - That's wonderful.

  • - How are things going for you?

  • - Yeah.

  • ♪ I guess I should be happy

  • My kids are safe and sound at home with me

  • Sure, I'm putting Benadryl in their mac and cheese

  • For quiet time at three

  • And even though my husband thinks that it's a sign

  • That I'm solving all my problems with a glass of wine

  • ♪ I'm fine

  • We're fine

  • Everything's fine

  • ♪ I'm trying to be patient, ♪

  • But work from home is not what I'd endorse

  • Sure, by the time that this is over

  • My firm might want to switch into divorce

  • And any judge would rule my kids are in contempt of court

  • ♪ 'Cause my business calls have all become a contact sport

  • ♪ I'm fine, one

  • We're fine, two

  • Everything's fine

  • - You know, I'm gonna have to call you back.

  • - Okay, so I saw on Facebook that this whole pandemic

  • is because of the 5G network.

  • - Oh my God, they're canceling everything.

  • I mean, like, my wedding is, like,

  • totally an essential business.

  • - Bless your heart.

  • Now y'all stay safe, and social distance,

  • but I'mma see y'all at church on Sunday.

  • - Bye. - Bye.

  • - God bless.

  • ♪ I guess I should be worried

  • my body temp is now at 103 ♪

  • ♪ I'll just walk it off at Costco

  • Without a mask or gloves

  • And then we'll see

  • Yeah, I know I should be quarantined until it's through

  • But I'll pop a Tylenol and throw a barbecue

  • ♪ I'm fine (sneezes) ♪

  • So fine (coughs) ♪

  • ♪ I'm fine (coughs) ♪

  • ♪ I guess I should be thankful my calendar's clear

  • That job was just the worst

  • My stimulus should get here

  • Just in time for rent

  • December 1st

  • And even though I've gained a solid 19 pounds

  • ♪ 'Cause banana bread appears when your bananas go brown

  • ♪ I'm fine

  • ♪ I'm fine

  • Everything's fine

  • Ohh, brownies are done

  • My roommate's boyfriend's nice, but still

  • ♪ I may have caused a fire drill

  • For 20 minutes by myself

  • They both can go to hell

  • We're all in this together

  • ♪ I never thought

  • ♪ I'd cut my husband's hair

  • - Oh, shit.

  • Oh shit, but now we're all forgetting

  • What day it is

  • Or wearing underwear

  • He's free ballin'" ♪

  • ♪ I know that things are bad

  • But really, here's the thing

  • At least we've got our wifi

  • Booze

  • And Tiger King

  • It's fine, fine, fine, fine

  • It's gonna be fine, fine, fine, fine

  • Everything is

  • Mother f%$%ing

  • Fine! ♪

  • - [Husband] Babe, looks like school's canceled 'til 2023.

  • (beep)

(upbeat music)

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