Mom: Hi Honey, it's Mom.

Son: Hey Mom..

Son: I obviously know it's you, you don't have to introduce yourself every time.

Mom: How've you been?

Good Son: Fine, everything's good.

Real Son: Well my girlfriend dumped me and I'm hungover but I'd rather not talk about that with you.

Good Son: So what's been going on with you? How are things?

Real Son: So I'm going to act like I'm interested in what you're doing even though I couldn't care less.

Mom: Oh, I've been really busy! Good Son: Oh, Yea? Doing what?

Real Son: Can you keep talking for a few seconds so I don't have to answer anymore questions?

Mom: Well we hosted a dinner party and played some mah-jong, even Jean came over, you remember Jean?

Good Son: Yes. Real Son: Nope!

Mom: Her daughter is getting married this Summer, the pretty one, you remember her?

Good Son: Yea, her name is Emma right?

Real Son: Emma freaking McLain, man she was so hot!

Good Son: Hey Mom you know what, I gotta run.

Real Son: Hey Mom, I have nowhere else to be but I really want to get off the phone right now.

Mom: Wait! I need to talk to you about something.

Good Son: Sure, What's up?

Real Son: Oh, Shit did you finally find out about that thing?

Mom: Have you talked to your sister recently?

Good Son: A few day ago, why?

Real Son: If talk means texted, then yes.

Mom: Well she's been out of college for a year and we have no idea what she's doing. Has she told you anything?

Good Son: I don't know Mom, ask her.

Real Son: She told me not to tell you, you know that.

Mom: I just don't want her to end up having problems with her finances. You know, like you did.

Good Son: I'm fine mom.

Real Son: We're not talking about this again.

Mom: So, you got your health insurance, right?

Good Son: Yea...　　Real Son: And there it is, the actual reason why you called.

Mom: Seriously, you need it. What if you got hurt?

Good Son: Mhmmm.. Real Son: I'll agree with anything you say just to change the topic.

Mom: Do you know how much you have to pay for an ambulance these days?

Good Son: Right... Real Son: Mom, just so you know I'm checking out of the conversation right... Now!

Mom: You need to be going to a doctor at least 4 times a year. Good Son: Ok.

Real Son: Why are we still doing this when you know I'm not listening?

Mom: Good, All we want is for you to be safe and happy. Good Son: I know Mom...

Real Son: I'm tuning back in, you're about to say something sentimental.

Mom: I love you! Both Sons: I love you too.

Mom: Okay talk to you soon.

*Fast-paced String orchestra*