I'm your host, Will!

To market,

to market, to buy a fat pig!

Then home again, home again,

jiggety-jig.

And of course, let's not forget

Leslie, our all-knowing voice in the sky.

Hello, everyone!

Tonight we're going to ask you three questions about…

Articles!

The definite, indefinite and the zero

that help us to define our nouns.

OK! Now, let's meet our contestants!

A married couple!

How do, all. My name's Alfie.

And contestant number two?

It's nice to meet you. I'm Clara.

Really, Leslie?

A married couple?

I mean, we must be getting desperate.

So, how long have you two been married then?

20 years.

It's been 24, dear.

Oh, yes… 24.

Happy.

Oh, yes. Happy years…

under the thumb, as it were, eh?

Must you?

I don't know Clara, must I?

OK! Well, everything seems hunky-dory here.

So, let's get going, and don't forget,

you can play along at home too.

Our first round is a closest-gets-it round.

How many types of article are there?

I'll say…

Oi!

What happened to ladies first?

The key is in the word lady.

I'll say two.

And Clara?

There are three.

A or an, the and a zero article.

He would know if he paid attention to something

other than football.

Correct!

About the answer, I mean,

not the football.

Yeah, well you'd…

Next question!

Which of these articles is used with

singular countable nouns?

After you, my darling.

Oh, Alfie!

Oh, blimey!

A or an is used with singular countable nouns.

The zero article is used with plural and

uncountable nouns,

and the definite article is used with shared knowledge.

Correct!

Leslie?

Articles appear before nouns.

There are three types:

the indefinite article, which is used with

singular countable nouns.

For example,

I see a tree or I see an apple.

The zero article,

which is used with plural or uncountable nouns.

For example, I've got rice.

And the definite article,

which is used with any noun that is known and

understood by both the speaker and listener.

For example, I opened a cupboard and the door fell off.

Well done.

So, Clara,

what do you like most about Alfie?

Oh, he's just the sweetest man.

You know, when he's not being the silent type.

The silent type!

More like I can't get a word in edgeways, eh?

Yack, yack, yackeddy-yack.

Well, I wouldn't have to if you'd pay me some attention!

We sit together watching TV!

What else do you…

OK! OK!

Sorry I asked…

sort of.

Let's move on to round two.

Complete these sentences using the correct article.

I'm afraid, you'll have to confer,

I can only accept one answer.

It's certainly ___ lovely painting.

John works as ___ engineer.

Do you have ___ pen?

* arguing *

OK, time's up!

And?

The indefinite article! A or an.

Alfie, that's not what we agreed!

I'm right sometimes, you know!

A or an.

OK. Leslie?

Correct!

The indefinite article is either a or an.

It is used in front of a noun when

we inform a listener about it for the first time.

We also use it with a noun being used

in a description,

such as in sentence A

– It's certainly a lovely painting.

It's also used with noun being used in classifying

or defining, particularly in connection with a job,

such as in sentence B

– John works as an engineer.

And finally, we use it when we talk about

a thing but do not wish or need to be specific,

such as in sentence C

– Do you have a pen?

Yes! In your face!

Oh, sorry my love.

Are you, OK?

I'm fine!

I'm fine!

Well, OK! Not to worry.

You've got twenty more points each.

So, tell me Alfie. How did you two meet?

Well, we met at a party at university.

It was nothing special. Except…

well,

our eyes met across a crowded room,

and I was drawn to her like a magnet.

I knew then that she was the one for me.

Oh, Alfie! I remember it well.

He was such an attractive young fellow.

We danced all night.

Of course, he's getting on a bit now.

Doesn't have much stamina like he used to.

Yeah?

Well you're not exactly a size six any more, are you?

Elephant britches.

My mother told me never to marry you!

Yeah? Well, you should have listened to her then!

I should've…

OK! OK! I'm sorry I asked…

in a way.

Let's just put this all behind us and move on to

our last round.

Look at these words and tell me if they take

a zero article or a definite article.

Ready?

Work.

Zero.

He's always too busy to call me at work.

Correct!

Home.

Zero.

I'm not coming home!

Correct!

Dinner.

Zero.

You won't see me at dinner.

Correct!

Dog.

Whose dog?

Your dog.

Definite article.

I'm keeping the dog!

Correct!

Bed.

Zero.

You won't find me in bed tonight.

Correct!

Superlatives, for example, best.

She's the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Correct!

Sun.

He's like the sun in the sky to me.

Correct!

Life.

Zero.

Life can be hard for some people.

She makes mine better.

Correct!

Last one.

University.

Zero.

We met at university.

Hang on.

Definite article.

I'll meet you at the university.

Zero! At university!

Definite. At the university.

OK, OK! Settle down.

Allow us. Leslie?

Excellent work!

Many nouns have specific rules

as to which article to use.

We usually use the zero article when we talk about our

homes, beds and meals, such as dinner.

We also use it when talking about things in general,

such as life.

We use the definite article with unique things,

such as the sun, superlatives,

and nouns which are known to both speakers.

Finally, institutions such as hospitals, prisons,

and universities can often be either.

If we are in the hospital, it describes the place.

But if we are in hospital, we are probably injured.

There you go.

So you're both right in a way!

No, I'm right!

No, I'm right!

OK, OK! Enough!

Just stop for a second and take some advice.

See, I was married once.

They were some of the happiest,

and saddest years of my life…

but that was such a long time ago.

Now, take a deep breath.

And look into each other's eyes.

Your eyes!

I'd forgotten how beautiful they are.

We were fools to argue. Let's never argue again!

Let's never say another word!

Embrace me!

Like a broken record, you are!

Enough!

For better or for worse, in sickness and in health,

till death do us part.

It looks like we'll need two more contestants.

Thanks for joining us.

Say goodbye Leslie.

Tchauzinho, Leslie.

See you next time.