Edgar....

我是瑞典人 OK，你知道的，這不是個秘密

This is a really tough video for me to make.

瑞典有最多什麼?不是高稅率，閉嘴!

*beep beep beep BEEP*

好的網路

*TACTICAL NUKE*

好的網路！

So, I'm from Sweden, okay. You know it, not a secret.

即便是貧窮的

What does Swedes have the most of? Not high taxes, shut up! Good internet. GOOD INTERNET.

瑞典人

Even as a poor

100M/100M的網路是基本的，天殺的。

swede living man,

這不是你需要去爭取的，這是與生俱來的

100/100 internet was the standard, god damn It. It wasn't something you had to fight for. It was your god-given

抱歉抱歉，扯遠了，這是基督教頻道

right. Sorry, sorry I went too far I'm a christian channel. (You're a christian channel.)

是個基督頻道

As you know, I don't live in Sweden anymore, for quite some time. And, I know what you're thinking. Oh, UK internet,

如你所知，我已經沒住在瑞典一陣子了。

that's not so bad. That's not like living in a third-world country, right?

然後我知道你們在想什麼，噢 英國網路

You're wrong. You're wrong. I was a fool. If you don't think it's that bad

那應該不壞啊。應該不像住在第三世界的國家

let me show you, let me show you my internet right now, okay?

對吧?

Okay, you want to see this. Do you think this is funny? Just wait until you see my upload.

你錯了你錯了。我曾經是個笨蛋。

Oh my god. It's depressing. It's not even moving goddamn it.

如果你不覺得有那麼爛的話

Oh, wow!

讓我秀給你看，我現在就秀給你看我的網路 OK?

*slams phone onto table*

OK 你看看，你覺得這有趣?等著看我的上傳速度吧

(mocking voice) But, Felix why don't you just change your ISP- ?

天阿...太失望了

Shut the hell, shut the hell up. You think I haven't tried

我甚至沒在移動，天殺的

I'm the biggest YouTuber.

喔~ 哇~~嗚

I deserve better internet, goddamn it. I'm better than this. Now you may have seen me rant about this in the past.

(#`Д´)ﾉ怒摔手機

That's because when me and Marzia first moved into UK,

迷之聲:但Felix你幹嘛不換網路供應商就好了?

we lived in this flat. For some reason, in, in UK it takes two to three weeks to get your internet

給我他媽...他媽的閉嘴。

installed if you switch provider. The BT has to come in, they have to do-

你覺得我沒試過?

I don't know what they do.

我是最大的Youtuber

But they got to do what they got to do and they take two or three weeks to get there

我應得更好的網路，天殺的。

and if you miss your appointment

我比這個更好

you gotta wait another two to three weeks and so on and so forth. So, what I had to do back in

你們之前應該也聽過我抱怨過

2014 was that we didn't have any internet so I legit had to put the video on my laptop

那是因為我和Marzia第一次搬到英國時

and then I would walk out trying to steal neighbor's Wi-Fi that had better internet because

我們就住這裡。而因為一些原因，如果你在英國要換網路供應商

you, you take one road down and someone Waa-we have fiber here?

需要花費2~3週才能有網路。BT需要進來，他們要...

But, no not here, who knows why. Set out to find neighbors that had unlocked Wi-Fi

我不知道他們怎麼做的

so I could upload the goddamn videos. I did this at like 4 a.m.

但是他們做他們應該做的

Sometimes, I would come, I would come back home. I forgot my keys.

然後花2~3週弄好

I'd have to climb through a window not to wake up Marzia (aww). So, eventually

然後如果你錯過預約

you know YouTube money came and me and Marzia were like, "ok, enough.' Okay, enough. We're gonna move somewhere where they have amazing

你又要再等2~3週然後一直這樣。

internet, that's impossible because I live in UK, but decent Internet.

所以，我必須回到我們那沒有網路的2014年。

And. we did. We did move there. We had great internet and everything was peaceful.

所以我必須把影片放到我的筆電裡

Everything was nice...(but not for long...-__-)

然後我要出門試圖去偷鄰居那網速好點的Wi-Fi

The world was finally in harmony. Then, why am I back here, Felix? Why are you back here with the shit internet?

因為你走一兩條街然後就~哇嗚這裡有光纖(訊號)欸!

*Pewds going insane* Just go back there and stop complaining like a son-of-a-bitch.

但，不是 不在這裡，誰知道為什麼。

It's a long story, okay? I'm trying to tell you the story.

接著去找附近鄰居哪裡有沒密碼的Wi-Fi

Well, I used to have an office when I was working with Disney and they were willing to transfer that lease to me.

所以我才可以上傳那該死的影片

But, it was a three-year lease, which would have cost me one hundred and thirteen thousand pounds

我之前差不多都凌晨4點做這件事

and I'm like ah I don't really feel like paying that when I can just stay here for free.

有時候，我要回 我要回家，結果發現我忘了帶鑰匙

I just need one shitty room that I can record from. I don't need this giant office. It really doesn't make any sense.

我只好爬過窗戶以免吵醒Marzia

(mocking voice) Oh, well if you're so cheap-

然後終於，你知道的 Youtube的錢進來

Oh, yeah, like you would pay that amount for internet? Would you, you think I should pay that amount for internet?

我和Marzia都覺得"OK夠了夠了"

Is that what you think? Good for you? Okay, not everyone is a MORON!

我們要搬到某處有著超猛網路的地方

(mocking voice) Pewds, you should just come to

但那是不可能的因為我們在英國，但還算像樣的網路

Portugal, because we have goodish-

然後我們做到了。我們搬去那裡

*chicka-chicka*

有著很好的網路而且每件事都很和平

You think I wouldn't go back to Sweden! Sorry, I need to calm down.

每件事都很好....

Okay. Alright, so I had to pay a hundred and thirteen thousand pounds.

世界終於和平了。

I said no. You know what I'm gonna look into it. Maybe I can get good internet installed in this flat.

然後，為什麼我又回來這裡 Felix?

Which is my office. And, I can't go back to the other flat because we're renovating that one right now.

你為什麼又回來這個糞網路的地方?

I forgot to tell you. All the floors are gone, all the walls are gone.

回去然後不要再抱怨的像個智障不就好了?

I can't even, I can't even go back to my original house. We're staying here temporarily. I'm stranded here. (so he's basically homeless)

這是個很長的故事 好嗎? 我正試著說這故事給你聽

So, I basically said three months ago. I was like, 'Okay, well

呃我之前和迪士尼合作時有間辦公室

I'll look into it, and then I found you can get a leased line, which is basically used by a lot of companies.

然後他們願意轉租給我

They install a private line, so that you don't have to share internet with anyone else and you get a guaranteed

但是這是一個三年約，那將會花我13100英鎊 ( 約台幣52萬 )

speed of a 100/100, even a giga. A GIGA. A GIGABYTE. A GIGABYTE INT-NET. Hell yeah! I'll take it!

然後我不是很想付那麼多當我可以免費待在這裡

I'll take it. Thank you very much. I'm tired of living, that, whatever, like that internet. Not anymore! I can afford it.

我只需要一間可以讓我錄影的糞房間

I'm gonna pay for it, goddamn it. So, I ordered it

我不需要那麼大的辦公室，這真的沒甚麼意義

three months ago. ( wow :0 )

迷之聲: 噢 那如果你那麼窮...

*sad music*

噢對，你會為了網路花那麼多錢?

Where is it? You know who you are. Where is my internet? Where is my

你會...?你覺得我該花那麼多錢只為了網路??

iiiiiiinternet? Where is it?

你是這麼想的? 很好。不是每個人都是低能兒好嗎!

Where is it? Where's my internet? I ordered three months ago.

迷之聲 : Pewds你只要來葡萄牙就好啦

You said maximum 47 days. So, what have I been doing in the meanwhile then, these three months? Well

因為我們有好的...

I've rented Airbnb. I rented them for a month. So, I at least have a temporary solution.

你覺得我不會想回去瑞典?!

I bought this temporary setup, so that I can stream, I can upload, I can send files to my editor.

抱歉我需要冷靜一下

I can do all these things smoothly and nicely and no one have to worry about it.

OK 好，所以我需要付13100英鎊

But, Airbnb only lets you rent for a month.

我說我不要，你知道我正在找。

There's some legality to it. You have to put your name on the council bill or some shit like that if you go longer.

說不定我在這裡可以裝到好的網路

So, I had to switch Airbnb.

把這裡當成我的辦公室。

Naturally, before I rent the Airbnb I'm like, 'Okay, so what's the internet in this place?" I look it up.

然後我不能去另一個公寓因為那邊現在正在翻新

You know I make sure I asked them,

我忘了告訴你，所有樓層都沒了，所有牆壁都沒了

'Okay, so this is a bit weird for me to ask, but I need really good download, but also upload speed, okay?

我甚至不能，甚至不能回到我原本的房子。

And I need you to confirm me these speeds. It's very important.

我們暫時住在這裡，我處在困境裡

This is very important.' And, I wouldn't get an answer from this lady. She was like,

所以，我在三個月前說了"ok 好 我會找找看"

(liar voice) ' Oh, it's really good speeds.

然後我找到了一個被很多公司採用的承租網路的廠商

We have really good speeds in this place. Come to my little B&B.

他們安裝的是私人線路，所以你不用和其他人分享網路

We have great internet.' You fucking, lying shnake. You lying shnake.

然後他們保證會有100M/100M，甚至1G

It's even worse than my internet.

1G! 1G的網路!! 讚啦 ! 我要了 !

So, I'm stuck with this other place now. Where my temporary setup is set up with god-awful

我要了! 非常謝謝你。

internet. That I can't use, I can't use it. I can't stream from it. It's too bad.

我再也受不了生活像個.....隨便... 像那個網路。

So, what do I do. Well, it has 4G.

不再那樣了 我可以負擔的起這個

At least I get a 4G reception in that Airbnb. So, I bought like a box with 4G, a 4G modem and uh

我要付錢了，天殺的。所以我就訂下去了

they only let you buy for a hundred gigabytes per month. Otherwise,

在三個月前

you can't, you can't use more. And I'm like, 'Can I refill it?' and they're like, 'No.

它在哪?你知道你是誰。所以我說那個網路呢?

100 gigabyte, that's what you get.' I'm like, 'I can't just use 100 gigabyte, ok?

我的網~~~路在哪?它在哪?

That's gonna run out so fast. You don't understand. You don't understand. Do you know who I am?'

它在哪?我的網路咧?我三個月前訂的啊

I never used that card before, but I just went, 'Do you know who I am? Excuse me, I am

你說最久47天~

pewdie

所以我同時在這三個月做了什麼?

And, I need good internet.

我訂了Airbnb，我訂了一個月

I didn't actually say that. But, I have 80, I have 87 gigabytes left, guys.

所以我至少有個臨時解決方案

Just wanted to tell you. That's why I'm making this video.

我買了這個暫時的設置、所以我可以實況、我可以上傳、可以寄檔案給我的剪接師

I even looked into the idea of installing one of those antennas on the roof. It's 15,000 up front, which is fine!

我可以很順利、好好的做這些事，然後沒人需要擔心

I'll pay it! I'll pay it! But, it's 4 weeks installment

但是，Airbnb只能讓你租一個月

and I'm waiting for the lease line. So, I might as well wait for the lease line, right?

有些法律的問題，如果你租更久就要把你的名字登記在議會的名單還是什麼鬼的

And, I don't want stuck in two contracts.

所以，我需要更換Airbnb

Oh.

理所當然的，在租Airbnb之前我都會問"你們的網路怎麼樣?" 我看了一下

I'm dying guys. I'm dying. That's why I'm making this video. I am dying. If things don't change I am going to die.

你知道的 我一定要確定問過他們

(:O omg)

"OK 這是個有點奇怪的問題，但我非常需要好的下載和上傳速度 ok?"

I'm asking for help. I am sending out my echo signals, like a whale asking for help.

"然後我需要確認這些速度，這很重要"

Give me internet, before I die. I'm going to- I'm- this is it. Goodbye. I have 80,

"這真的很重要" 然後我不會從那女士得到任何答案，她大概像是:

86,

"噢，有很棒的速度"

I have eighty six gigabytes left.

"我們這裡真的有很棒的速度，來我的小民宿吧"

Before they get me. ( .·´¯`(>▂

"我們有很棒的網路"

Then, it's 10P per megabyte...

你這該死的騙子，該死的騙子

The sense morale of this, is that if you have good internet, don't take it for granted

它甚至比我的網路還爛

like I did. Take care of it.

所以我現在被這地方綁住，我現在暫時只能和這天殺的糟糕網路相處

Appreciate it. Make sure it knows it is loved, because one day

我不能用、不能用這個，我不能拿來實況，真是太糟糕了

you may not think it will happen, but it happened to me, goddamn it,

所以，我怎麼做，嗯 有4G網路

the internet is gonna fade away.

至少我在那個Airbnb有4G訊號。

(NOOO WIFI!!! ITS THE END OF THE WORLD!!! HOW WILL I LIVE??!!)

所以我買了一個4G的數據機和