Old guy:*uh wtf are u doing lol *

老人：???

Waddup , hey big boy, nice to meet you

怎樣? 嗨大男孩，很高興認識你

Oh nooooooooooooooooo

喔不-------------------。

Handshakes!

握手！

Why are they so awkward?

為何會如此尷尬?

I fuckin hate handshakes

我他媽的恨握手

Why?

為何?

Why do you have to handshake?

為何你們必須握手?

Can't you just be like "alright see ya"

難道你不能只是 "好喔，下次見"

What's wrong with- *distorted*

你有甚麼毛病?

Every time there's a handshake...

每次都要握手

Today we're gonna look at some of the most awkward handshakes *me everyday*

今天我們要來看看些最尷尬的握手

Just for the pure cringe of it

會有一點點讓你超級尷尬的感覺

and uhhh

然後，呃--

well examine some of mine (oh boy!)

對我來說也是某種試驗

Just to see where it went wrong

來看看哪裡出了問題

Hopefully I feel less bad about myself

希望我不要對自己感覺太差

We all had a bad handshake

我們都有過很糟的握手

At some point in our life, ok

在我們人生之中，OK

The problem with me is I'll never forget it

我還有一個問題，就是我永遠不會忘記它們

I remember every single detail

我記得每個細節

I'll wake up in the middle of the night

我會在半夜醒過來

With cold sweat and be like

冒著冷汗想說：

FUCK

幹

Why did I fuck up that handshake

為何我要搞砸這次的握手?

*horrible memories*

*崩潰*

Lets look at some immortalised handshakes

讓我來看看些永生不死的握手

Wait, there is no way Obama has an awkward handshake

等等，歐巴馬不可能有尷尬的握手

He is such a cool guy

他是個酷男

There it is

來了

Awwww

喔喔喔喔

Ahh

啊啊

What the hell!

搞什麼?

That wasn't even to bad

這甚至沒那麼差

Are you serious

你認真的嗎?

Painfully awkward? (Stop spelling awkward wrong who ever u are omg)

痛苦的尷尬?

Oh you haven't even

喔你還沒有過呢

You haven't even seen pain

你還沒有體驗過痛苦

ABC news you don't know

ABC新聞台你不懂

My suffering...

我的痛苦....

You don't even know my suffering

你甚至不懂我痛苦在哪

Look at that

看看這個

Look at that guys dead dead look

看看這傢伙的死樣子

He's like, fuck we fucked that up didn't we

他就像是"幹我們搞砸了對吧?"

That's awkward

這真尷尬

This is my favorite one I think

我想這是我最喜歡的一個

Cuz

因為

Lets just watch, it's beautiful

我們來看吧，真是太美了

They do the shake

他們握手

Ohhhhhhhhh!

喔喔喔喔喔-----!!

Wohoho

沃齁齁----σ ﾟ∀ ﾟ) ﾟ∀ﾟ)σ

Yes

爽啦

Why *laughter*

為何?*笑*

UUUUUUEHHHHHH

呵-------------థ౪థ

WHY!

為何?

How

怎麼會?

Ugh

呃

Listen

聽著

You gotta let go

你該放手

Gotta know when to let go

你必須知道甚麼時候該放手

Some people don't when to let go

有些人不知道甚麼時候該放手

That guy's like

這傢伙就像

Alright, well I

好吧，我--

Guess we're going on a little journey now

我猜想我們現在要來個小旅行了

why couldn't he just *laughter*

為何他不能就--(笑)

There is another one like that

有另外一個類似的

we've all been in that one handshake

我們都有過那種握手

Where the guy or girl just hold on too long

有些男孩或女孩就是握得太久

Lets watch

我們來看

oh god

天啊

Please let go

拜託放手

UGHHHH, he

呃---他-

How are they still holding hands?

為何他們還是握著手?

NO!

不!

I genuinley can't last longer

我真的沒辦法握這麼久

I can't

我沒辦法

I can't fucking watch this shit

我他媽的沒辦法看這坨屎

It hurts

好難受

It fucking hurts

真他媽的很難受

Ugh

呃！

Cause he's gonna review this car

因為他要評論這台車

And he's like, you know motherfucker

他就像是"你知道嗎?混帳東西"

I'm not letting go of your hand until you give me a good review for the camera

"我不會放開你的手，直到你在鏡頭前給我好的評價"

You fucking bitch

你他媽的婊子

Please

拜託

Please let go of the fucking hand

拜託他媽的放開手

Let go of the hand

放開手!!

Let go of the hand!

放開手-----!!

Alright, I think I've gathered enough courage to watch one of my awkward handshakes

好吧，我想我已經有足夠的勇氣 來看我自己的尷尬握手

This one happened litteraly like a week ago

這大概是發生在上個星期

Welcome, good job

歡迎，很好

Welcome

歡迎

Good job

很好

Thank you

謝謝你

Cool

酷

Cringemas!

尷尬聖誕節！

Jack!

Jack！(綠髮男子)

Let me just

讓我來--

Let this just be clear

讓我們把話說清楚

That was Jack that fucked up, ok

是Jack把這搞砸了，ok?

That was, that was

那是、那是

Lets just see what happened

讓我們來看看發生了什麼事

Lets deconstruct

讓我們來分析

He went for the handshake

他想來個握手

I

我

Ohhh

喔喔喔

Went for the handshake

他要握手

And then he went away

然後他又縮回去了

How am I suposed to

我是要怎麼--

How do you go away?

為何你要縮回去?

If you go just commit

如果你就這樣撐住

Commit Jack, have you heard of commitment?

撐住Jack，你有聽過"撐住"嗎?

I bet you have, cause

我打賭你有，因為

What's something bad?

發生了甚麼壞事?

Gottem

抓到了

That's 100% on Jack

對Jack來說是百分之百

That's 100% on Jack

對Jack來說是百分之百

and that's fine

這是可以的

Nothing else

沒別的了

Can I just say

我可不可以說

Can I just say, and to myself for that matter

我可不可以說，我真的很在意

If you are ever, ever

如果你不曾、從來不曾

You ever find yourself

你不知道自己在幹嘛

On a gaming show

在遊戲節目裡

What so ever, whatever fucking happens

無論如何，無論發生他媽的什麼事

Do not shake their hand

不要握他們的手

Do not shake any hands

不要握任何一隻手

No brofists

不要做兄弟拳

No highfives

不要擊掌

No nothing

不要沒事

Cause this is what happens

因為這就是會發生的事(播影片)

Ogh

呃

I've seen it before

我之前看過這個

And it just

然後這---

I wanna die

我想死

Oghhhhh

呃呃呃呃------

I don't know why does this bother me so much

我不知道為何這件事這麼困擾我

Nothing bothers me

沒有東西困擾我

Trump

川普

Trump became president

川普變成總統

I don't care

我不在乎

Handshakes

握手

An awkward handshake

尷尬的握手

That's the fucking worst

真他媽是最糟的

The thing

這件事

You see that guy

你看那小子

He has an earpiece

他有戴對講機

He has to talk to other people

他必須跟其他人說話

he's not gonna see your hand

他沒有看見你的手

Just don't shake his hand

不要去握他的手

A once handshake

一次握手

Can ruin everything

可以摧毀所有東西

Look at that guys face

看看這傢伙的臉

That's the face you make when you die

這臉就是你超想死的臉

That guy fucked it up

這傢伙搞砸了

that guy is literally Jacksepticeye

這傢伙真的就是Jacksepticeye(剛剛的綠髮男子)

The guy on the left

左邊這傢伙

Hahaha

哈哈哈

Wait, so he hands over the mic

等等，所以他接過麥克風

What was he thinking

他在想什麼

Hey really nice to meet you

嘿真的很高興認識你

Sure

當然

Sure

當然

sure buddy

當然了兄弟

I think this is probably my favorite one

我想這可能是我最喜歡的一個

I, you could say I'm a kind of a connoisseur of awkward handshake

我，你可以說我算是尷尬握手的內行人

but I, I think this one has to be my favorite

但，我想這是我最喜歡的一個

Ryan Seacrest highfives a blind guy

Ryan Seacrest跟盲人擊掌

No you wont see anyone in California

不，你不會在加州看到任何人 (呼應影片所說的)

Ryan Seacrest

Ryan Seacrest

Did he ever comment about that

他有沒有對此發表言論過?

I think that's what makes it even better

我想這是處理這件事比較好的方法

The fact that he never acknowledged it

事實是他從來沒確認過這件事

Like, oh my god

像是，我的老天爺啊

I tried to highfive a blind guy

我居然試著跟盲人擊掌

I think I've gathered enough courage

我想我又集夠勇氣了

To watch another one of mine

看我自己的另一個尷尬握手

You see my reaction right away

你很快可以看到我的反應

Oh no, Oh no

喔不，喔不

Why is it so hard to me

為何這對我來說這麼難?

Am I that awkward?

我在尷尬嗎?

I don't think I'm that awkward

我不覺得我在尷尬

I just can't do handshakes

我只是沒辦法握手

Just don't handshake me

不要跟我握手

I don't want to

我不想要

I don't wanna touch you, ok

我不想碰你好嗎?

No offense

這沒有錯

Who grabs?

誰會抓住?

Why would you grab

為何你要抓住?

Ethan

Ethan(人名)

Whats wrong with you?

你有甚麼毛病?

That was a highfive, that was clearly a highfive

這是擊掌，這很明顯是個擊掌

Alright and the Conan one

好，跟Conan的那次

Which you all keeps sending to me by the way

就是那個你們一直傳給我的那支影片

Please stop doing that

拜託不要再這麼做了

Who handshakes during a gaming session?

誰會在遊戲中跟別人握手?

You highfive

你擊掌

You go like this

你卻這樣做

That doesn't mean you are going for a hand shake

這根本不是要跟你握手的意思

Like this means a highfive

這是要跟你擊掌

That's not my fucking problem

這他媽的不是我的問題

Well I don't ever wanna do that again

我不想再做這種事了

Shut up

閉嘴

and the guy, he fucked it up to

還有那傢伙，他也搞砸了

He fucked it up to

他也搞砸了

Look at him, he did it wrong aswell

看看他，他也做錯了

It's not just me

不是只有我

I'm not the only one

我不是唯一一個

Look at that , that's equally bad, ok

看看這個，這也一樣糟好嗎?

Can you stop , can you

你能不能停下來，你能不能

Stop

停下來

What else do we got?

我們還有些什麼?

Oh this fucking video

喔這他媽的影片

So he is challenging these

他在挑戰這些

Girls, paid actresses I should probably call them

女孩，我應該叫她們付費演員

To make an awkward handshake with them

跟這些人一起尷尬的握手

and if they fail

然後如果她們失敗了

they have to makeout with him

她們必須跟這男的出去

The ultimate punishment

最終極的懲罰

I was cringing

我的尷尬症犯了

I didn't even realise I made that face

我甚至沒注意到我做了這種表情

Jesus

天啊

Hey Chris, why don't you

嗨Chirst，你為何不--

Why don't you gt a suit that fits you?

你為何不選個跟你相襯的西裝?

Why don't you get a propperly tailored suit?

你為何不選個合身的西裝?

Instead of paying all these women to kiss you

而不是付錢讓這些女人親你

Alright

好吧

I mean it doesn't seem like a bad job

我是說這好像不是一個壞工作

They're all atractive women

她們都是有吸引力的女人

Marzia, Marzia

Marzia, Marzia

But, come on girls

但，拜託女孩們

You can do better

你們可以做得更好的

You don't have to kiss Chris Monroe

你們不需要親 Chris Monroe

Cause you fucked up a handshake

因為你搞砸了握手

Couse I will

因為我會

If I kissed everyone I fucked up a handshake with

如果我親了每個搞砸握手的人

I would

我會

Probably have herpes

可能會有皰疹

Six times over

在6次之後

20 times, a million times

20次之後，一百萬次之後

You fuck up a handshake

你搞砸了握手

You pay the consequences

你會付出代價

You don't just make out with people

你不只需要跟某個人出去

Alright

好吧

it kinda triggers me

這有點觸發我了

Because I have this condition

因為我有這個條件

And he's clearly making fun of it

而且他很明顯只是想玩

And I don't think that's fair

我不覺得這是公平的

I don't think that is very fair at all

我一點都不覺得這是公平的

Mr. Chris Monroe

Chris Monroe先生

What the fuck, you guys tweeted me this

這三小，你們這些傢伙推特這個給我

Wait, what just happened

等等，剛剛發生了什麼?

Is that Hitler

是希特勒嗎?

Ohhhhhh!!

喔喔喔喔喔!!

Historically awkward handshake, what the fuck

歷史性的尷尬握手，三小啦

Did Hitler, did Hitler

希特勒做的，希特勒做的

Did Hitler just have an awkward handshake?

希特勒也有尷尬的握手嗎?

Oh my god

我的天啊

Oh my god

我的天

This is the greatest thing that ever happened to me

這是我身上發生過最偉大的事

Oh my god

我的天啊

Finally

終於

I can relate to someone

我可以跟某人有關了

Kidding

開玩笑

I'm kidding

我是開玩笑的

That's a pretty

這真的很

He did it pretty smooth

他真的做得很圓滑

You know the

你知道那個

Man, Hitler

男人，希特勒

He didn't just do the

它並不只是--

Sorry, ok, to far, allright

抱歉，OK，還好，好吧

This one I thought was fake

這個我覺得是假的

It just seemed to dumb

這感覺似乎太模糊

To not be real

以致不像真的

So it's this guy with no arms

所以這傢伙沒有手臂

And shoots

然後射箭

He shoots and wins gold

他射出劍而且贏得金牌

He actually has absolutely incredible feet

他真的有雙讓人難以置信的腳

Like feet

像是..腳

I mean feet, not shit oh no

我是說腳，喔賽啦不要

Look at that!

看看這個！

You fucking idiot

你這他媽白癡

I thought that was fake

我想這是假的

To be fair

為了公平起見

What do you do

你在幹嘛

Do you bow?

你敬禮?

You gotta bow

你敬禮了??

Bow

敬禮

That's it

這就對了

We need to bring back the bowing

你需要找回你的敬禮

Simple

簡單的

Like Japan

就像日本

Why is it so hard?

為何這這麼難?

Can we just have one universal thing

我們可否有個全球共識

I don't care what it is

我不在乎是什麼