(WIZ) Yang Xiao Long, the adventurous huntress from RWBY...

而這兩位可愛的女生是這方面的佼佼者

(BOOMSTICK) And Tifa Lockhart, the Final Fantasy heavy-hitter with enormous...power. He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick!

陽小龍，RWBY中的女冒險家獵人

(WIZ) And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win...a DEATH BATTLE.

蒂法·洛克哈德，最終幻想中擁有巨大...力量的戰士

(WIZ) The World of Remnant is...well, crazy.

他是Wiz我是Boomstick

Vicious creatures called "Grimm" run wild; entire cities have gone to waste; and every single weapon... is also a gun. Even nunchuks.

我們的工作是分析他們的武器、裝備和技能

(BOOMSTICK) Ohh, that sounds like Disneyland to me--the happiest, most gun-filled place on Earth.

找出誰會是生死對決當中獲勝的一方

(WIZ) Luckily, the world is protected by the Huntsmen and Huntresses, an elite group of expertly-trained warriors.

在一個殘破的世界...是的，很瘋狂

(BOOMSTICK) And where else would you get the training to kill bloodthirsty monsters...than from high school?

在荒野中到處都有兇殘的戮獸橫行

(Yang) Oh, I can't believe my baby sister is going to Beacon with me! This is the best day EVER!

整座城市人煙稀少

(RUBY) Please, stop...

槍械是一般民眾的基本配備

(WIZ) After losing her mother to mysterious circumstances, and being trained all her life by her hero/legend of an uncle,

還有雙截棍

Yang Xiao Long was accepted into Beacon Academy.

我怎麼感覺很像迪士尼樂園

(BOOMSTICK) It's kinda like Hogwarts, except replace wands and books with swords, sniper rifles, and giant transforming scythes.

世界上最開心最無管制的地方

Man, this place keeps getting better and better. Seriously, I know where I'm going to retire now.

幸運的是，這個世界被獵人和女獵手保護

(WIZ) A natural fighter and thrillseeker at heart, Yang fit right in and soon found herself a member of the color-coordinated Team RWBY,

一個訓練有素的戰士聯盟

led by her younger sister...Ruby.

你要在哪訓練出專門獵殺可怕怪物的身手呢？

(BOOMSTICK) Because that's not confusing at all...

當然是高中

(RUBY) I'm talking about kicking off the semester with a BANG!

噢！不敢相信我的寶貝妹妹居然要和我一去信標！

(YANG) I always kick MY semesters off with a YANG! Eh? Guys? Am I right?

今天實在是太美好了！

(BOOMSTICK) Anyway, Yang's time at Beacon was well-spent, and she became the master of punching all the things.

天啊~~快停下来

(WIZ) See, while Yang's fellow teammates wield a scythe, a couple swords, some big guns--Yang's style of combat takes a more...direct approach.

毫無頭緒的失去她的母親

(BOOMSTICK) Yeah, she does--with her shotgun-gauntlets!

從小被他的英雄獵人叔叔訓練

(WIZ) Her two golden bracelets aren't just stylish; they extend to form a weapon called the Ember Celica.

陽小龍被信標學院錄取

(BOOMSTICK) With just a punch, the Ember Celica fires off a flash of kinetic energy, blasting a foe with an explosion of force and a beautiful sound.

這間學校有點像哈佛

(YANG) I! HOPE! YOU'RE! HUN-GRY!

只是把課本換成劍，狙擊槍還有超大的變形鐮刀

(BOOMSTICK) To top it off, these concussive blasts can fly several hundred feet!

天啊，真的越聽越喜歡這個地方阿

Yang is one of the few people I know who can punch a bird out of the sky! That's what you get for crapping on my car!

說真的，我退休後一定要來這

(WIZ) In addition, like most Huntresses, Yang can manifest her soul as an Aura.

極高的戰鬥天賦而且性情率真

Aura can be used to block deadly attacks and heal minor wounds. And Yang's is no different.

陽很快就融入群體

(BOOMSTICK) But my favorite way she uses her Aura is when she goes Super Saiyan.

很快加入了象徵四種顏色的隊伍，RWBY

(WIZ) Many Hunters and Huntresses possess a Semblance, a special power unique to them

領隊是她的妹妹

that makes Beacon Academy look a little more like the Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters.

這樣不會把每個人搞混因為~

(BOOMSTICK) Yang's Semblance absorbs damage from hits she takes, adding them to her own physical power.

我是說這個學期的開學我們要碰（bang）出氣勢

After taking just two attacks from a mech suit, she was strong enough to shatter the whole thing in one go.

我總是將我的氣勢yang出來

(WIZ) Unfortunately, her Semblance does not increase her Aura's defense, so she feels the full force of everything that hits her Aura,

覺得怎樣啊...大夥們

and can only absorb power so long as she remains conscious.

不錯吧

(BOOMSTICK) Luckily, she's pretty tough.

總而言之呢，陽在入學前的訓練非常成功

Yang survived a punch that easily smashed her through a concrete pillar. You know, the ones designed to hold up entire bridges?

入學後她變成了打爆所有東西的高手

(WIZ) And during a food fight--remember, this is high school--Yang was knocked up into the air and did not come back down for about 100 seconds.

看...陽的隊友們揮舞的武器有鐮刀，劍和大砲什麼的

More than enough time to reach terminal velocity. This means, upon landing, she took an impact of nearly fifty tons of force.

陽的戰鬥風格則更加...

(BOOMSTICK) And stood right back up like it was nothing! Ah, what a waste of good food...

直接又暴力

(WIZ) Despite this, Yang can only take so much.

的確她真的很勁爆

Her Aura has a limit, as does her short temper. Pushing both of these too far leaves her extremely vulnerable.

用她的散彈槍臂鎧來爆

(BOOMSTICK) Like when this ice-cream lady knocked her out because Yang had been fighting monsters all day with no sleep.

她的那雙金色手鐲可不是裝飾用的

(WIZ) It's also worth noting Yang is less adaptable when fighting against foes specializing in kicks.

它可以變形成武器，灰燼天堂

(BOOMSTICK) Still, she's confident she's one of the best in her class and dedicated to graduating Huntress School,

只要出拳，灰燼天堂就能釋放動能

so she can travel the world fighting everyone just for the thrill of it.

發出極強的爆炸而且伴隨著美妙的音效

(YANG) Alley-oop!

希！望！你！餓！了！

(enjoying herself)

這些能量的最高射程有幾百英尺

Whoa-oh-oh... Whoo-hoo!

陽是在我所知道的人當中，少數能夠把鳥從天上打下天的人

Oof... Nailed it!

在我車上拉屎就是這種下場

(WIZ) Far to the west on the planet Gaia lies a small mountain village called Nibelheim.

在特殊情況下，和其他的女獵手一樣

At first glance, this town appears calm and peaceful, not worth a second look.

陽可以激活自己的靈魂產生AURA（元氣）

(BOOMSTICK) Until a sword-wielding Goth guy found his alien mother hidden inside. He celebrated with fireworks.

元氣可以用於格擋強力的攻擊和治癒較小的傷口

(WIZ) After losing her parents and watching the madman Sephiroth burn her hometown to ashes,

陽的元氣也是一樣

Tifa Lockhart joined AVALANCHE, a group dedicated to protecting the Planet from ecological harm...and Meteors.

但是我最喜歡她使用元氣的方式是...

(BOOMSTICK) Speakin' of Meteors, check out the size of the--

她用來變身超級賽亞人

(WIZ) BOOMSTICK!

許多的獵人和女獵手都擁有元氣外相（SEMBLANCE）

(BOOMSTICK) What?! I was talking about the Meteor!

一種他們獨有的特殊力量

(WIZ) Sure, you were.

怎麼覺得信標學院很像X戰警學院

(BOOMSTICK) Anyway, Tifa was thrust into the stereotypical gender-role of housekeeper by maintaining the hidden AVALANCHE homebase, 7th Heaven.

陽的外相是承受並吸收受到的傷害

But it wasn't all bad, because it also doubled as a bar.

並且將傷害轉化成力量

(WIZ) And she doubled as a bouncer.

僅僅承受兩下巨型機械的攻擊

(BOOMSTICK) Now, I've been thrown out of my fair share of bars for totally illegitimate reasons,

她就已經能夠一拳將其打成廢鐵

but not even I would urinate on the 7th Heaven jukebox with Tifa on guard.

很遺憾的，她的外相並不增強防禦

(WIZ) Smart choice, since she is a master of close-quarters combat.

所以...所有傷害到她元氣的攻擊她都要承受

Tifa is a feint brawler, adept at surprising foes with quick, powerful strikes.

而且只有在她清醒的時候才能吸收力量

And as she traveled with her friend, Cloud, to save the Planet, she learned seven legendary techniques: the Limit Breaks.

幸好她特别耐打

(BOOMSTICK) Accessing her inner gambler, Tifa's Limit Breaks include rapid-fire punches, explosive throwdowns,

陽扛下輕易打爆混凝土支柱的攻擊

and summoning dolphins who uppercut people?! That's just awesome!

你懂的，那個專門設計承受整座橋重量的東西

And if she manages to throw all of them in order, she charges the last of her Limit energy into one final, titanic punch: the Final Heaven!

而且在食物大戰中

F@&# you, squirrel!

要知道這裡是高中嘛...

(WIZ) Tifa is ready to throw down at a moment's notice, and even wears leather gloves everywhere she goes, just in case a fight comes her way.

陽被打飛上天，大約一百秒後才落下來

(BOOMSTICK) And if she decides to get REALLY serious, Ms. Lockhart busts out her two round, beautiful Ultimate Weapons...

這個時間足夠形成非常強的等比級加速度（terminal velocity）

(WIZ) Don't you dare--

也就是說在落下地面的時候

(BOOMSTICK) ...the Premium Heart!

她承受了接近50噸的衝擊力

(WIZ) Oh. Well...the Premium Heart increases Tifa's striking power immensely, and continues to do so over time as she builds Limit Energy.

然後人完全沒事的站起來

However, they lose this increase after Tifa uses her Limit Breaks and need time to charge back up.

啊~~怎麼這麼浪費食物嘛...

(BOOMSTICK) Oh, that sounds like it could be a problem...oh, if she didn't also have magic!

即使如此，陽還是只能承受到某種程度的傷害

(WIZ) In Final Fantasy VII, there's a wide variety of magical ability-granting gems called Materia.

她的元氣也是有極限的

Any person can wield any Materia, and it's up to the game's actual player to decide who gets what, giving Tifa no standard Materia setup.

和她暴躁的脾氣一樣

However, thanks to the Dissidia fighting series, we know Tifa prefers to carry Fire and Ice Materia into battle.

將這兩樣使用到極限，會使得她變得極其脆弱

(BOOMSTICK) These Fire and Ice Materia let Tifa conjure and wield... fire and ice.

就像有一次這個冰淇淋小妞打暈她的時候...

Combine that with her freakish, superhuman strength and she's like an unstoppable powerhouse.

陽已經打了一天的怪獸都沒有睡覺

(WIZ) Well, her immense power does come at a price; her skills in speed and defense are somewhat lacking, making her something of a glass cannon.

值得一提的是， 陽的身手能夠對付擅長使用拳打腳踢的敵人

But, to help make up for this, Tifa wears two armor pieces. She wears a ribbon on her arm in memory of her late friend, Aerith.

她自信是班上最強的學生之一

(BOOMSTICK) *sniff* C'mon, man, don't bring that up!

渴望在獵人學校畢業後

(WIZ) ...Which protects her from negative effects, like poison and paralysis.

環遊世界到處找人打架

She also likely wears the Minerva Band to defend from fire and ice.

只是為了追尋快感

(BOOMSTICK) Glass cannon or not, her strength is ridiculous. She's strong enough to fight an embodiment of Sephiroth, and throw giant monsters around like nothing.

空中~接力

(WIZ) And there was the time she helped throw Cloud through the air to reach the flying monster, Bahamut SIN.

哈哈哈

After leaving Tifa's hand, you can see a Mach cone form around Cloud, which means that Tifa must have helped throw him with enough force to break the sound barrier.

哇哦哦...哇哦！

(BOOMSTICK) Oh, Cloud's a lightweight. C'mon, how hard can that be?

搞定

(WIZ) Well, factoring in the weight of Cloud and his giant weapon...

在遙遠的西方有一個蓋亞大陸

(BOOMSTICK) Heh...

有一個名叫尼伯海姆的村莊

(WIZ) He must've been thrown with up to 153 tons of force.

最初這是個平和又寧靜的小村莊

(BOOMSTICK) Well, $#*!, talk about power! You don't wanna mess with Tifa's strong, twin, firm...

這種故事我已經看很多了...

(WIZ) Noooo...

直到某天有個拿刀長髮男，發現自己的外星人母親藏在村子

(BOOMSTICK) ...fists.

然後他就放火慶祝

Also, she's got a really nice rack. Did I mention that yet?

失去了父母，看著瘋子賽菲羅斯將自己的家園燒成灰燼

(TIFA) Feels like you're flying, doesn't it?

蒂法·洛克哈德加入了阿法蘭奇

(TIDUS screams)

一個保護世界不被邪惡摧毀的組織

(WIZ) All right, the combatants are set! Let's end this debate once and for all!

還有流星的威脅

(BOOMSTICK) It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!

說到流星嘛

(BOUNCER) Hold up! Lemme see some ID.

快看看這個尺寸的...

(YANG) Hello! No need to panic, people; just looking for someone.

BoomStick！

I WILL take a Strawberry Sunrise, though. No ice. Thanks!

幹嘛...我在說流星阿

(TIFA) Sorry, Miss. I think you'd better turn yourself around and look elsewhere.

你最好是...

(YANG) So... does this mean no Sunrise?

總而言之

♪ Take a good look, got you sprung, got you hooked ♪

蒂法變成了反抗組織“雪崩”的管家

♪ If looks were a crime, I'd be the biggest crook ♪

經營並管理秘密基地，第七天堂

♪ My sexy lips, dreamy eyes--look into my eyes ♪

也算還不錯，因為這是個酒吧

♪ I've got you under my spell; I got you hypnotized ♪

而且她還兼職做保鏢

♪ I'll make you my fool, my living footstool ♪

呃...我常常被自己愛跑的酒吧轟出來

♪ I'm beauty; you're the beast ♪

全都是因為我太喜歡惹事了

(YANG) Having fun? I sure am! ♪ I'm the stallion; you're the mule ♪

不過就算是我也不會在蒂法顧場子的時候隨便撒野

(TIFA) Ugh, don't mock me! ♪ I'm looking so good from head to toe ♪

算你聰明，她是近身格鬥的大師

♪ I see you looking at me; your pants tell me so ♪

蒂法非常善於伺機而動，身手敏捷矯健攻勢凌厲

♪ I see you looking--you looking, looking, looking at me ♪

並且她和他的朋友克勞德四處遊走拯救世界

♪ I know you're wishing--you're wishing, wishing you could be me ♪

她學會了七種傳奇技術：限制突破。

♪ Look in the mirror and tell me, tell me what do you see ♪

激活她身體內建的拉霸老虎機

♪ So tell me, what do you see? ♪

蒂法的極限突破包括兔子火焰拳

♪ So when you looking at me? ♪

隕石墜落，還有爆出一隻會打人的海豚！ ？

♪ Roll out the red carpet 'cuz the queen is here ♪

簡直酷斃了

♪ And bow down before me ♪

如果輸入正確的指令

(TIFA) All right, warm-up's over! ♪ And be of good cheer ♪

在最後一擊時，會將所有剩下的極限能量集中成最終的....巨人之拳

♪ Have my bath ready and my food prepared ♪

最終天堂

I'm gonna blow you out of the water! ♪ It's not my fault that you're ugly. Stay over there. ♪

去你X的，小松鼠

♪ Say "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the prettiest of them all?" ♪

蒂法隨時隨地都處在備戰狀態

Take this! ♪ Me! Me! Me! Me! ♫

甚至去任何地方都會帶著戰鬥皮手套，以作好捲入戰鬥的時候

♪ Come at me and you'll see ♪

如果她決定要下重手的時候

(TIFA) Had enough?

洛克哈德小姐會亮出她那兩顆...閃亮的...美麗的終極武器...

♪ I'm more than meets the eye ♪

你别...

♪ You think that you'll break me ♪

慈悲之心（Premium heart）

♪ You're gonna find in time ♪

噢...呃...對的...

(YANG) Not even close.

慈悲之心會將蒂法的力量大幅度的提高

♪ You're standing too close to a flame that's burning ♪

只要蒂法使用極限力量就會一直增強

♪ Hotter than the sun in the middle of July ♪

直到蒂法使用極限突破後重置

♪ Sending out your army, but you still can't win ♪

需要時間充能

♪ Listen up, silly boy, 'cause I'm gonna tell you why-y-y ♪

哦，聽起來這還挺麻煩的...

♪ (I BURN!) ♪

如果不能用魔法的話

♪ Can't hold me down ♪

在最終幻想7裡，有一種充滿魔法力量的水晶：魔石

♪ You got nothing that can stop me (I BURN!) ♪

任何角色都能使用所有種類魔石

(TIFA) You're going down!

是由遊戲玩家分配哪些魔石給哪個角色

♪ Swing all you want ♪

這設定讓蒂法沒有偏好的魔石數據

♪ Like a fever, I'll take you down ♪

幸好有 最終幻想：紛爭 系列

Don't move!

使我們知道蒂法喜歡用冰系和火系的魔石作戰

Ugh...

這些火和冰魔石使得蒂法能夠使用...

(painful groaning)

火...和

All right... let's see if you can keep up with this!

冰...

(playful dolphin noise)

這些加上那超越人類體能的力量

Here goes!

她就像是一個不可阻擋的能量爐

♪ (I BURN!) ♪

呃...巨大能力還是有代價的

(YANG) Ugh... Did I just explode?! ♪ Can't hold me down ♪

她的防禦能力和速度是比較不足的地方 ，雖然威力很強但脆弱得像玻璃砲台一樣

♪ You got nothing that can stop me ♪

不過，為了彌補這一點

(TIFA) FINAL...HEAVEN!!! ♪ (I BURN!) ♪

蒂法有兩個特殊的抵禦裝備，其中一個是在臂上的絲帶，紀念過世的好友Aerith

(massive explosion!) ♪ Swing all you want ♪

拜託老兄...

♪ Like a fever, I'll take you (I BURN!) ♪ *Yang goes Super Saiyan*

別再提起這些了吧...

What in the world...!?!?

這些東西能保護她免於負面效果，例如毒或麻痺等

♪ Can't hold me down ♪

還有一個是她喜歡穿的女神護環，可抵禦火和冰屬性的傷害

♪ You got nothing that can stop me (I BURN!) ♪

不管是不是玻璃砲台，她的力量實在強到一個誇張的程度

♪ Swing all you want ♪

她強壯的可以和薩菲羅斯近身肉搏戰

(YANG) You like that?!

徒手拋飛超大型的怪獸

♪ Like a fever, I'll take you down! ♫

還有一次，她將克勞德拋向天空，去靠近飛行中的怪物巴哈姆特

*The sound of Fans of Tifa/FF7 screaming.*

在離開蒂法的手後，你能看到克勞德身邊的錐狀音波

Nailed it.

也就是說，蒂法將克勞德的行進速度打破音障（超越音速）

(BOOMSTICK) *Sigh...* Cross another potential wife off the list...

哦，克勞德體重又不重。 拜託，這有多難？

(WIZ) Tifa was naturally stronger and more experienced than Yang, but Yang's Semblance quickly turned all of Tifa's power against her.

將他的體重加上他的巨型武器

(BOOMSTICK) Even the Minerva Band, the best of Tifa's armor options to counter Yang's strength and shotgun blasts, was eventually overtaken by the Semblance.

嘿嘿...

(WIZ) Plus, while Tifa could lift creatures many times heavier than Cloud using her Limit Breaks,

他被扔出的平均力量至少需要153噸

she never shows this kind of strength anywhere else, implying that this power is exclusive to those Limit Breaks rather than something she possesses naturally.

我$＃*！...說到有力

(BOOMSTICK) And even though Tifa's Premium Heart increased in power over time, they reset after her Limit Breaks while Yang's power kept on rising.

你不得不會注意到蒂法那...

(WIZ) However, Yang's real trump card was her Aura. Her Semblance would have been useless if she could not survive Tifa's attacks.

堅實的...成雙的...豐滿的....

Luckily, her Aura is durable enough to take a punch that shattered a concrete pillar about four feet wide, a feat which requires at least 1400 tons of force.

别.....

(BOOMSTICK) That's the equivalent of having 360 jet liners fall on your face!

拳頭

Yang's power just pulled through in a snap.

此外，她還有雙非常棒的大奶。 我之前有提過嗎

(WIZ) The winner is Yang Xiao Long!

就像在飛對吧

(BOOMSTICK) Next time, on DEATH BATTLE...

呼~~都解決了

(???) Hello, Chad and Ben, and all you DEATH BATTLE fans.

好吧，戰鬥角色部屬完畢！

Ol' Wiz and Boomstick had a great scheme going on for a while there,

讓我們一次解決這場喋喋不休的爭論

having you follow them on Twitter to find out which of your favorite characters they're going to massacre in the next fight.

是時候來生死決鬥！ ！ ！ ！ ！ ！

Well...now it's my turn.

站住，讓我看看你身份證

You see this? It's the hard drive that contains all of the DEATH BATTLE matchups and outcomes for the next year. And it's mine now.