I gottoserveand I couldn't getbigger, and I gotintomyhead.
But I neededtobebigideathatcertainguysgotmore, likesmoreheartsmorewithsmall, whetheryouknow, whethertheSocialMediaplatformiswhetherthesignofapprovalwaasSouthport.
Well, maybe I'lljuststarttakingAmina.
JustloadAcetoseewhathappened.
Jakewasrushedtohospitalaftertakingsteroids.
Soyouwereinhospitalwhenyouhadtheheartvalueas a resultofstepways.
Severeheart, severeheartfailure.
We'retalkingliterallydaysawayfromdying.
If I'd doneonemoreinjectionofsteroidsaregoingtothegym a couplemoretimes, I quitelikelywouldhavedied.
Wasitworthit?
Wasn't itworthtold?
No.
Nowwelookback.
Ithasn't beenworth a because I'velostquitethebulkanyway.
Andmyhealthaswell, youknow, mymenhelp.
Myideathatgaymenshouldlook a certainwayisn't a newthing.
I mean, when I waseditingattitude, therewassometimesgettheseconversationspeoplesaying, Oh, youknow, yourenforcingthisbodyimageidea.
Buttheplacewhere I sawitthemostwasondating.
APPisoninstagram, andit's cometothepointwhere I havetounfollowedquite a lotofgaymenonInstagrambecausewhenyoustartfollowinggameinthealgorithmsthat's inyouevenmoreonyourjustbombardedwiththeseamazingbodiesonbeacheslookingperfectand I don't looklikethatandyoujustgetitthewholetime.
I thinkit's reallyimportanttorememberthatthereisunprecedentedpressureoneverybodyacrosstheboardtopresentthemselvesin a kindofvisualway, but I thinkyoucantakeoutofthisdiscussionThefactthatLGBTpeoplegrowupshamed, notabletobethemselvesIfyoudon't likeyourself, thatmanifestisnotbeinghappywiththewayyoulookwhenyou'retoldgrowingup, youknow.
AndthenyougetthisbigconstituencyofpeoplewhoareallveryperfectionisticonAlsoforcedontoabswhichiskindoftheonlywaytheprimarywaythatwemeeteachotherbecomeeachothersociallyinthewaystraightpeopledo a Z easily.
Whathasgaydatanapsandtheimpactof I neededtolook a certainwaywas, thatmeant I don't usedtogettingupnowandmerelybecause I don't havethebodythat I usedtohave.