- I'm Russian, this guy right here is American.

- I'm Russian.

- I'm clearly the American.

- It's very cold here.

- Of course she has a Russian jacket.

- What kind of drinks are you expecting?

- I think of Wodka, with a W.

- That's it, vodka?

- Yeah, vod--

- Okay, let's surprise him,

let's show him what mother Russia had.

- Looks like beer.

- Yeah, it smells like beer, it's just beer.

- Oh my god.

- Holy shit.

- So this is actually called Yorsh.

- Ah, I love Borscht.

- Nope, very different.

Borscht is red beet soup, this is beer and vodka.

- Know what's funny, is that

it tastes like beer and vodka.

- I just need to move to Russia.

This is some smart sh*t.

That's how you know he's Russian.

- I need to take a nap!

- This is how the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

got their superpowers.

- This is Tarhun, it's a traditional drink from Georgia.

- Do I detect a hint of green?

And bubbles?

- I teach you Russian tradition, you ready?

- Yes.

- Before you drink, every time you must say toast.

- To my beautiful future Russian wife.

(crickets chirping)

- Oh, I like that.

It's not too sweet.

- So this is like Russian Sprite.

- That was great, I mean, I'd,

keep 'em coming.

- Keep it going, let's go.

- Smells like nail polish remover.

- Nail salon.

- Yeah, oh, wait a minute.

- What do they give you guys in Russia, what the f*ck?

- Mmm, mmm.

My favorite childhood drink.

Is good, yes?

- This is great!

- Doesn't taste like a nail salon.

- The acetone--

(tongue sounds)

Allo!

- He's so drunk, he's so drunk, he's drunk!

- It's kind of like a ginger ale with like a weird,

like a slight hint of I don't know what that is.

- Like ginger ale?

- This looks like some sort of Russian cola?

- Why does this smell like a plate of dinner or something?

(sniffing)

- Your smile is white as the snow on an afternoon.

No, that was horrible, man!

In Texas we say stuff like,

"darling, you're so pretty,

"you're the only lone star I need."

- I like, I loves it!

- That's a good one.

What do you think? No?

- You take black bread, rye bread,

and you soak it overnight in water,

and that creates fermentation, and then so basically,

this is liquid bread.

- Oh, it moves so slow!

- Oh!

Ew! Ew!

- This is uh, Ryazhenka, which is baked milk.

- It's very good, no?

You're gonna get used to it, he gonna get used to it.

- Beauty hurts.

- This is great, we get to try water.

- Doesn't smell like anything.

What is that!?

- I don't understand this drink.

It doesn't make any sense.

- It tastes exactly what it would taste like

if you woke up in the morning, didn't brush your teeth,

still had your nasty retainers in there,

and then took a sip of water.

- Yes! Yes, it tastes like nasty retainer!

- If you took like, beach water

and then made it like seltzer,

it's like seltzer beach water.

- It's mineral water.

It's very very healthy,

it has a lot of amazing health benefits and,

also, it's a Russian trick to cure hangover.

- Whoa, it smells like breast milk.

- Oh, I don't want this.

- Why?

- This is a, this smells awful.

(groaning)

- No, no, no!

(retching)

- I love it, which is so weird, I think it--

- Oh my god, the aftertaste!

- It burned my tongue.

- It burned the sh*t out of my tongue.

- Have you ever have milk from a horse?

(retching)

- It's horse milk, of course.

It's horse milk, it's just horse milk.

Of course.

No big deal, it's horse milk.

It's horse milk!

- The good news is--

- There's no good news--

- It's very high in whey protein.

- You know how exotic horse milk is?

- What is it supposed to do for you?

Is it like, there's any benefits?

- Yeah, what?

- Probably healthy.

- All this stuff was great, I mean,

all of it was great.

Besides the horse milk, I mean,

it was really delicious, and uh,

I really enjoyed all of it.

- Feel like now we gotta go get some Russian drinks

together, we gotta go hit like a Russian happy hour like

this friendship can't stop here.

- With some pickles on the side.

- My eyes are open to Russian culture,

and my eyes are definitely open

to the beauty of a Russian bride.

Das-vyoo-don-yoo.

(laughter)

- Texas Russian.