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  • because l observe, because l am a novelist.

  • What? You never told me that before.

  • That's because l am not an arrogant prick, Andy.

  • Okay? The problem most men have is...

  • they don't know how to talk to women.

  • You know what my problem is? l am not interesting.

  • What am l supposed to say? ''l went to magic camp?''

  • ''l'm an accomplished ventriloquist?''

  • ''l am a seventh-degree imperial yo-yo master.''

  • [exclaims]

  • Do me, yo-yo master.

  • l want you to do me, 'cause you're the yo-yo guy.

  • Are you done? Listen.

  • The problem most men have is...

  • they just plain straight up have no clue how to talk to women.

  • Just ask a question, okay? That's it.

  • Because women do not care about what you have to say...

  • at all anyway, you know.

  • And all they want to do is talk about themselves.

  • So you're iust gonna Iet them do that.

  • Okay? So remember.

  • Questions, be cool, and be kind of a dick.

  • Here, be David Caruso in Jade.

  • Okay. l know exactly what you're talking about.

  • You do. That's good.

  • (Cal) There she is.

  • Go plant that seed, man.

  • Plant it with your finger.

  • Can l help you?

  • l don't know. Can you?

  • Are you looking for something?

  • ls there something l should be looking for?

  • [laughs]

  • We have a lot of books.

  • So, maybe it depends on what you like.

  • What do you like?

  • We have a great section of...

  • do-it-yourself.

  • Do you like to ''do it yourself''?

  • Sometimes. l mean...

  • if the mood strikes.

  • How is the mood striking you now?

  • [laughing]

  • [tittering]

  • What's your name?

  • What's your name?

  • l'm Beth.

  • Andy.

  • Andy.

  • Don't tell on me, okay, Andy? l wont.

  • Unless you want to be told on...

  • Beth.

  • Wow. That totally worked!

  • l literally said nothing. And she found me fascinating.

  • l would've thought you were doing that for years.

  • Should l have asked her out? No. That's the key.

  • You wait for it to grow into a plant...

  • and then you fuck the plant.

because l observe, because l am a novelist.

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