Thank you for the introduction, Quickster, but we all know who I am.

More to the point,

we've got news on the whereabouts of evil.

The whoseabouts of what?

[moaning]

[laughing]

By the powers of naughtiness,

I command this particular drop of hot sauce

to be really, really hot.

Old people are the greatest!

They're full of wisdom and experience.

[giggling]

[laughing]

- Ready? - Ready.

Geronimo!

[cheering]

This is more fun than double overtime at the Krusty Krab!

And all that running is good for your buns and thighs, right?

Ya, buns and thighs.

Wake up, slowpoke.

We're going fly fishing.

Whoa! Hi.

I'm Patchy the Pirate,

president of the SpongeBob Squarepants fan club!

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!

Merry Christmas!

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!

I am now going to assault your mind with subliminal messages.

[laughing]

Well, well, what is this?

Ah, the artist at sea.

Let us watch and see the fruits of his struggle.

Oh, it seems as if inspiration has struck.

[laughing]

My pencil...

The artist has learned the first lesson of the sea:

always bring a spare pencil.

No!

We rejoin the artist in a creative slump.

Huh? What's this?

My pencil!

[laughing]

The second most important rule for the artist at sea:

always bring a pencil sharpener.

No!

Caricatures.

Imported music.

[music playing]

Teatime Theater presentation of Night of the Robot.

[screaming]

Hurry, Gary! The scary robot movie is on.

This here is Minnie Mermaid.

Minnie is cooling off on account she's been dancing her scales off.

Isn't that right, Minnie? Taking a little breaky-poo?

No, Patchy. Actually, I'm in here because if I wasn't, I would die.

[laughing]

That's the spirit!

[laughing]

Let's see... Who else haven't you met? Hi!

That's Long Beard the Pirate.

Hey there, Long Beard. Long time no see.

Who dares to interrupt Neptune?

Sorry about that, Neppy... That's Neptune.

He's king of the sea.

You kids having fun?

[laughing]

[music playing]

[screaming]

Pauli, I guess I really misjudged you.

Oh, what the--

[drumming]

♪ When world's collide ♪

Pretty sweet, eh?

I lost the remote. They should make those things--

[moaning]

[squawking]

Ah... my remote!

Thanks, stranger!

Don't mention it, Patchy!

Hey kids, say hello to my boss, Mr. Pirateson.

Gar!

One order of scurvy fries, one large bilge water.

Ar! Ar!

- Diet bilge water. - Ar!

I'll get right on it, sir.

Ah!

Oh, Patrick! How do you feel?

Like one of those hip young old folks from a soda commercial.

It's radical!

Radical!

Drink it!

[phone ringing]

Hello? French Narrator speaking.

Hey Frenchie, it's me Sandy.

Ah, Sandy Cheeks. How is it hanging?

Oh, I'm not hanging too good, Frenchie.

- You see there's this-- - Don't say another word.

I have been monitoring the behavior of the green moon all day.

It is called Neptune's Moon.

Every 100 years, it de-evolves everyone in Bikini Bottom

- into primal fish for two hours. - Two hours?

Until it falls into another volcano and is extinguished.

I built it to explore the universe.

Also for quick trips to Texas to pick up some of my favorite barbeque nuts.

- Yoink! - Oh!

Dang nabbit! That ding dang nut stealin' arm is back again!

[screaming]

Don't you have somewhere else to be a nit wit?

Not until four.

[laughing]

- Jim Bob! - Hey.

Got a restaurant full of hungry customers out there.

Where are their burgers?

Mr. Slabs, you know I can't serve a Krabby Patty until it's cooked just...

right!

Where's the meat? Dang nabbit! That's it!

I'm taking my business elsewhere!

You're not going anywhere, sister. Sit down!

And everybody freeze! This is a robbery.

Wow, it's a submarine.

That's amazing!

- Ow, ow, ow! - Excuse me!

Hey! You ran over my foot!

I don't think so...

I've had it with the beach!

I'm going to live in a volcano, where it's safe.

[groaning]