Let's see if my most recent love interest Nora replied to

that sexy poem I emailed her.

NORA NARRATING: Hey, David.

Thanks for the sexy poem.

And the answer to your question is yes, I do love

Craig Ferguson.

You should come to Los Angeles and visit me sometime.

Write back soon.

-Well, that settles it.

I have to get to Los Angeles.

All I need now is to find me some dough.

[EXCLAIMING IN FRUSTRATION]

-No money!

LITTLE GIRL: Why don't you just hitchhike?

[HORN HONKS]

-Ah.

Thank you so much for the ride.

And don't worry.

Esmeralda will come back to you.

You just got to pay attention here a little bit, OK?

Maybe clean up after yourself once in while or

make her some dinner.

Put on a shirt more often.

DRIVER (OFFSCREEN): Bye, David.

Bye, David.

-Nora.

Nora.

NORA (OFFSCREEN): David?

Oh my god!

Hey, what are you doing in LA?

-Well, you said I should come, so I came.

And then I got a ride to LA.

[BOTH LAUGH]

-Wow, wow.

You know, I didn't mean today.

But OK.

-Well, the point is, I'm just glad that we're finally

together and soon we're gonna be dry-humping.

-Oh, hey, David, um-- there's someone I want you to meet.

David--

-Oh.

-This is my brother, Neil.

-Neil, oh.

Aren't you the little computer whiz, Neil?

-Hey, hey.

That's not a toy, OK?

That's what Neil uses to communicate.

-Oh.

-He has Stephen Hawking's disease.

-Oh, the wheelchair guy.

-Hello, Dorvid.

-Did he just call me Dorvid?

-DRIVER (OFFSCREEN): Sorry.

Typo.

[DAVID AND NORA LAUGH]

-Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

-I got you this.

-Oh my god, David.

That is the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me.

When did you make this?

-Just now.

-Wow.

God, we have so much in common.

-I know.

On three, let's say the name of our favorite movie star.

-OK.

BOTH: One, two, three.

Gary Sinise.

-Oh my god.

I loved him in Ransom.

-I know.

More like handsome, huh?

-Oh my god, he's gorgeous.

I want to fuck him.

-No, you don't.

Just marry me.

-Really?

Wait a minute, where's Neil?

-Neil?

Neil?

-Fudgicles, ice creams, right here, ice cold ice cream.

-Hey, what's the big deal, dude?

-What is your idea, dude?

I'm trying to sell some ice cream here, man.

-That's not an ice cream truck filled with treats.

That's my future brother-in-law Neil.

-Thank you for finding me, David.

Exclamation point.

-Oh my god.

This is so awkward.

I am so sorry.

NORA (OFFSCREEN): Oh my god!

Neil, are you OK?

-I thought I had been abducted.

-This is all your fault.

-My fault?

-(ANGRILY) Yes.

It was your idea to come here.

-But Jen, you don't--

-Don't play games with me, Dorvid.

Nobody comes between me and my brother.

-I--

NORA (OFFSCREEN): I love him.

-But I love y--

NORA (OFFSCREEN): I love him.

Which is a lot more than I can say about you.

It's over.

-You heard the lady, man.

Take it somewhere else, Dorvid.

-Could I just--

-(SHOUTING) You heard the lady.

-Just one chance--

ICE CREAM MAN: Walk away.

-Thank you so much.

NEIL (OFFSCREEN): Thank you, David.

I will never forget you and your face.