and we just went to some panels

and now everybody is doing team-building exercises

We, however, have left them all so we could do some stomach building exercises

because we want to experience what food in Melbourne is like!

M: Woo! S: Ngh!

M: Wonder Bao, Wonder Bao does whatever a ... Wonder ... Bao-

Who likes cheap delicious eats?

*doorbell* I do!

Wonder Bao is under the top 10

Chinese food restaurants in Melbourne

and it's supposed to be like really cheap, really fresh, really amazing

and I love dumplings! You know I love dumplings! Ducky, do I not love dumplings?

S: You love dumplings! M: I freaking love dumplings!

Everything sells out really quickly so we got to go right- right the F now!

Aww yeahhhh!

We've got three different kinds here.

They are fresh. They are soft. They are wonderful.

M: Alright, let's uh let's just get straight into this

M: because you don't want it to get cold

S: Look at that!

S: Awwww yeahhhh!

M: I can already tell just by ripping it apart how soft it is

the closest that we have in Japan is like the pizzaman (ピザまん), right?

It's like a giant steamed bun it's kind of like this

but it's different tastes altogether. Here we go!

Mmmmm~

This somehow takes me back to Beijing flavors

it's got that multiple spice flavor it's a bit sweet

It's a bit savory, it's a bit salty, and it's porky.

It's got like so many different things happening in your mouth (ahem)

That's just something

that I love about living in Asia, is that all the different cuisine flavors um-

are- it's never just like a flat flavor, you know?

S: What flavor is that one?

Pork something magic?

S: I like how we ordered this like a minute ago and we don't even remember what it is

S: We were like "Get this, this, this, this!"

Cause I have to open it up and see what's on the inside. How can I possibly know?

S: You know what I love doing?

S: I love ... I don't know why- I really like when the paper sticks to it. There's something so ...

Satisfyingly sticky *record scratches*

M: What are you talking about? You always remove labels. Of course you love doing that.

Ahhh *gasp* Right! I love peeling stickers off things! Okay

S: Is this the Char Siu? (Nope)

Ohhhhh boyyyyy!

*inhales*

S: *salivates* Oh f*bahh*k guys

S: *whispers* Look at that shiit(ake mushroom)

S: There's a sweetness to this

S: You usually get a sweetness with like a sauce on meat like uhh orange chicken or something like that

but this has its own

inherent juicy succulent

sweet meatiness to it

This is wild! There's so many different textures in here. You get like the smoothness of the meat

with a little bit of the bite of the mushroom at the same time. I got a little piece right here of ...

Sausage! Oh man.

Every flavor- there's so many flavors in this!

Is this an egg?! *record scratches*

M: That's my half! How dare you sir. S: Hold up- I gotta-

S: I- M: How dare you sir!

S: Okay. Hey ... M: You tore it in half, you cannot take my half.

You're really going to like this. You're really going to like this one.

I'm saving the egg one for you, love

But first-

I just love the bread here

the velvety gloss here it's like sweet marshmallow-y rolls of bread

Oh my god!

I gotta say I've become a bit of a food snob since moving to Japan.

Not sure if you notice, I'm definitely a food snob

M: *laughs* Yes. S: I-

I love this. This is great! I'm so glad we waited for this.

Mmm!

Imagine all the things you could put in buns like this. Do they make it with peanut butter and jam?

They've got so many other fla- We've got to try all the flavors, girl.

This is nuts. Mmm!

Okay, so we just walked all the way from Wonder Bao here to Doughnut Time.

S: It was a gorgeous walk with tons of great food.

S: We came here specifically for donuts.

$8 donuts it seems like *laughing nervously*

S: and that's what we're going to eat now.

S: Our favorite donut shop in Tokyo just shut down

but I got my donut fix right now.

What's this one right here that we got? Nope, that's the stupid one.

S: I'm getting the good one! M: How dare you!

This one right here- Is that snow on the ground?! No, that's just ... foam and spit. (Gross)

M: *laughs* Let's go to a different location!

Okay

S: Aww boy, I'm ready for this! M: Hey, I think we should play a game first

M: to see who gets the donut.

Nah, I- I remember that pain.

So this one right here-

Ooh, it's so sticky!

I could feel how dense this donut is!

Other donuts are usually really fluffy. This is a dense cake!

Here we go!

Take a look at what's inside, boys!

S: *satisfied noise*

H'ohhh boyyyyy!

Oh wow, look how dense-

this is like a really thick donut!

Here we go!

I want to tell strangers

that they should go buy donuts here.

You see people that spin the signs?

I want to just be outside like "This is a really f*bahh*king good donut!"

People are coming.

This is such a great contrast.

The creaminess of the filling with the burnt, toffee, crunchiness on top and the cake all in-between.

All these different textures and sweetnesses make for a very happy boy.

I am really digging Melbourne, can I just say?

M: Cool place, eh? S: I am really digging this place!

M: You guys can't see this but like we're in this little alleyway that is really reminiscent of like Sweden and Norway

M: and it's just super cool looking!

Also, when we were waiting for donuts and we were staring outside and looking at the donuts,

two people came up to us

and I think they wanted to sell us drugs.

He had a backpack and he's like, "How you doing, buddy?"

I'm like

S: "I'm just looking at donuts." M: And he's like, "Oh, are you?"

So I'm not sure if that was a proposition or not, but I'm happy with my donuts!

Girl, you're gonna dig this!

Okay, this box smells like an entire amusement park. Ducky, you want to smell this?

S: You mean it smells like kids peeing themselves? M: No, an amusement park!

S: *inhales* Ohhhhh! M: It smells like cotton candy and crepes

M: and like funnel cakes S: and marshmallows

and like it has like all these different things! Now, here's the thing-

Whoa, that's a heavy donut!

M: This is made with vegan cream cheese frosting

M: which makes me feel scared

M: because I'm used to having like really sugary sweet donuts

um- and this is with sprinkles but as they say it in Australia:

Hundreds and Thousands!

It's so big, I don't even- okay.

*wide mouth opening noise*

Oh my god. That can't be vegan! That just tastes like magical icing sugar!

I thought it was gonna be hard. (That's what she said)

M: It's really soft and fluffy.

M: You see how thick this is? S: Whoa!

S: That's a lot of cream there, girl!

This tastes like birthday cake ... frosting.

When you bite into it, the whole thing tastes like a birthday cake.

I expected this to be really like glossy sugar.

I mean it's a fluffy one, and this really, really reminds me of my childhood because I used to love getting these from Tim Hortons!

and now they changed it! It's no longer Hundreds and Thousands, it's the sprinkles that are like flat.

That doesn't taste the same!

That's not even fun!

It's calling to me still *laughs*

*giggles*

Mmmmmmmmm!

So for this next part of the video

we're going to Smith & Deli, which is a vegan deli. I've never been anywhere like this before. I'm really excited to see what this is like.

Also I feel kind of

Inspired to eat this food because over the past couple of days, we haven't really been

uhh ... ingesting th- the healthiest things here. My voice is a little bit gone. Martina's voice is entirely gone.

*loud party music, loud party people*

(possibly drunk) M: I'm getting it in 4! background voice: 4? lady on left: 3!

*loud party noises continue*

M: *faintly* Justin Bieber! Justin Bieber!

*more loud party noises*

*everyone goes "Ohhhhhhhhh!" simultaneously*

S: Do you want to say something on camera, girl?

M: [barely audibly] I can't; it's gone, totally.

S: Oh no, nobody can hear you, sorry. It's just gonna be me.

S: But you know what, you're a beautiful girl.

S: I think you're really pretty, I love you and if I love you the most then tell me otherwise

*Martina mouths "What?"*

Wait, if- What'd I say? If I love you the mo- ... most ...

*Martina snort giggles*

How does the math work on this? Hold on ...

Carry the two ...

S: So what you're saying is 'that looks disgusting'

S: and you don't want to eat it.

S: You don't like It when people warm your sandwiches. You prefer cold sandwiches like a Barbarian.

S: Oh, we got some cute doggies!

S: Hello, cute doggies! You're a cold doggy, aren't you?

S: It's terrible, isn't it?

*M: What the f*bahh*k?!*

S: 'Waterfall'. Did you just say 'waterfalls'? *M: Bullsh!t*

*M: Oh my god!*

*faint explosion*

S: So what we're gonna do now is Martina is going to mouth words and I'm gonna voice it over in her voice.

S: 'Okay, I love salami. I thought ...'

S: 'It feels ... fake salami.'

S: 'Would be bullshit.'

S: 'But it's so ...' *flock of swearing sheep from out of nowhere*

S: 'It's okay, I guess' *laughs*

My counterpart isn't all too eloquent. Let me try her sandwich and explain it to you. This is- this just looks good.

Look at- it's bubbling through like that.

*satisfying crunch*

I didn't know vegan food could be this good. This is a damn fine sandwich

and it's spicy!

It's got a really good peppery kick.

It's got fake pastrami, *buzzer*

it's got fake cheese, roasted red peppers on this as well and a phenomenal crunch.

This is a really good sandwich. You wouldn't even think about it being vegan.

You'd just think 'oh my god, this is delicious'. This is ...

delicious! *sandwich crunch*

Mmm! Okay.

Okay, first of all, what is up with Melbourne's weather? It was beautiful and sunny

when we left, and now it's cold and rainy, and I have a feeling that it's gonna start snowing in a half an hour,

and then there's gonna be like a beautiful sun storm.

This weather is messed up.

Yeah, a sun storm. It's like when you got the sunshine and the rain coming.

You never heard it before? Of course you have.

What I'm eating today is a Foghorn Legless. This is fake chicken schnitzel, fake bacon and

vegan ranch! Is this gonna be blasphemy? Let me see ...

Back in my day, when I had fake meat, it just tasted like soggy cardboard with salt and pepper on it.

This actually tastes like a chicken schnitzel!

This bacon actually has bacon flavor!

This ranch- you would never know that it's vegan! There's no reason for you to not to have this ranch

as opposed to regular ranch. It's so juicy!

*licks fingers*

Like, the fake meat is juicy!

I'm so confused cause usually the juiciness of meat comes from the fat that's in it

but this doesn't have fat because it's not real meat.

Oh man! You want to try some?

I'm sorry, I can't hear you. You want me to 'keep eating' is what you just said?

Mmm! This is a great experience.

Smith & Deli. You'll get some phenomenal sandwiches and you won't feel that bad about eating processed meat.

S: Hey, I challenge any sandwich snob to come here,

have a couple of sandwiches and tell me that they're not amazing. If all vegan food was like this,

I'd be pursuing it a lot more cause I've had a lot of bad vegan food.

This is great! I really like Melbourne so far. This is awesome.

I'm going to have your sandwich now cause you can't tell me not to.

*punching, slapping sounds*