Everyone, pay attention.

Yes, I have a friend named Amy Farrah Fowler.

Yes, she is female.

Yes, we communicate on a daily basis, but no, she is not my girlfriend.

Amy Farrah Fowler has asked me to meet her mother.

Yeah, so?

What does that mean?

Well, you know how you're always saying that Amy is a girl who is your friend and not your girlfriend?

Can't say that anymore.

Amy...

Will you be my girlfriend?

Yes.

Well, that's enough of that.

Sheldon, have you ever kissed a girl?

Other than my mother, my sister and my meemaw, no.

But you're a scientist, where is the curiosity?

I'm available for experimentation.

Fascinating.

Amy, really, she's not gonna come on to Sheldon.

Oh, really?

Look at this face.

How can any woman spend eight hours a day alone with this face and not fall in love with it?

No, there are certain things that say to the world: "I have a boyfriend and he's not made up."

Matching costumes, hickeys and sex tapes.

Pick one.

What's a hickey?

Hear this, Leonard has some ridiculous notion that you're mad at me.

Yeah but tell him you're not mad at me, go ahead, set him straight.

I'm mad at you, Sheldon.

Your mother thinks you might be losing your mind over me.

As a neurobiologist, I was curious.

You insulted my woman—I'm here to defend her honor.

Now prepare yourself for what may come.

I made a commitment in writing to comfort you in times like this.

Additionally, you're my girlfriend and I care about your well-being.

Thank you, Sheldon.

You're welcome.

Now, let's get this over with.

It hurts that you would lie to me, Amy.

I thought our relationship was based on trust.

And a mutual admiration that skews in my favor.

First of all, I'm quite fond of Amy.

Then what's the problem?

Penny, all my life, I have been uncomfortable with the sort of physical contact that comes easily to others.

Hand shaking, hugging, prostate exams.

But I'm working on it, you know.

Just recently, I had to put Vaporub on Amy's chest.

A year ago, that would have been unthinkable.

Hang on, are you saying that someday you and Amy might actually get physical?

It's a possibility.

Oh my God!

Sheldon, I know this wasn't easy for you and I'm really glad we could have this conversation.

How's that?

I feel like I'm being strangled by a boa constrictor.

Why did you stop?