- I really don't think everything's gonna fit.

- Just squish everything in.

- We should have rented a turtle.

- You can rent a turtle?

- Yeah, they're like five bucks an hour.

- Do they come with a name?

- They're a packing thing you put on the roof of the car.

- Obviously I was kidding.

(laughter)

- Ye of little faith.

- Nice job babe.

- [Ashly] Thank you.

- Amazing, let's go.

- [Diego] Avery, I got shotgun.

- [Avery] No.

- [Ashly] What the, Diego.

- [Avery] That's cute. - [Ashly] Get out!

- No.

- [Ashly] Sit in the back.

- [Diego] Whatever.

- Alright, I made a schedule of fun.

No wiggle room, two pee breaks max

and we should be at the beach by noon.

- Q, I saw a Q!

"Catch Billy Quest at the Erp Center January 6th

to the 8th, 2013."

Wow, they should really update that sign.

- You guys, can we stop playing the alphabet game

and will you tell me if you're okay with the schedule.

- Yes. - Yeah.

- Ooh, R!

- R, Make going back to school rule!

- S, S in school!

- Ah, how did we miss that?

- Good eye, good eye.

- Can one of those pee breaks be right now?

- Yes.

- Thank god. - Thank god.

- Hey, you okay?

- Yeah, I just want Izzy's last day to be really fun

and we're kinda already behind schedule.

- Just from packing?

- Izzy had a hard morning.

(emotional piano)

- Aw.

- I know, took like 30 minutes

just to put her toiletries in a little baggie.

- Poor Iz.

- What do you thinks taking them so long?

- Well, I mean.

- What do you mean?

- You know what I mean.

- I don't, I don't know what...

Izzy!

- What are you doing?

- [Ashly] Izzy!

- [Izzy] We're over here.

- [Ashly] What? (sighs)

- You guys, we don't have time for this.

- He's almost done, right Paul?

(sighs)

- Art doesn't flourish in a rushed environment.

But I guess it'll have to.

- Okay Paul, we'll be over there.

All right, let's--

Aww, come on. - [Avery] Aww!

- It's cute.

- [Ashly] No, no it's not. - [Diego] Oh, come on.

- [Ashly] Don't encourage them.

- [Diego] You're a little bit jealous.

- [Ashly] Don't spill those in the car.

Alright, everybody ready to go the beach?

- [Avery] Yes! - [Ashly] Goin' to have fun!

- [Avery] Yay, we're ready.

- Super Slurps, are you kidding me?

Pour it out.

- No.

- Diego, pour it out.

- No Diego.

- Diego. - Diego.

- [Avery] Hang in there buddy.

- [Ashly] Avery, I thought you knew better.

- [Avery] I was just, it was for both of us!

- [Ashly] You know I have a medically small bladder.

- [Avery] Oh, I love your small bladder.

- [Ashly] We are so behind!

- [Izzy] Okay, where are we in the alphabet game?

- [Diego] Look, world's tiniest sandwich two miles away!

- [Avery] Oh, what?!

- [Ashly] Nope.

- [Diego] It can be our second pee break.

- This is a waste of time.

- Come one, it's the world's smallest sandwich.

- Hi sir, how are you?

- Sorry folks, but we're closed.

- Oh. Well, maybe next year.

- Oh hold on, and when do you open?

- We're closed indefinitely.

- Oh no, what happened?

- Well, seems like my husband Carl ate the exhibit.

He mistook the world's tiniest sandwich for

a crumb for his regular sandwich.

- I'm so sorry.

- That's the way the cookie crumbles.

Thank you for your time, we're on our second pee break.

- Is that a camel and a zebra?!

Do you guys own that zebra?!

- We do.

- Of course.

- [Trio] That's amazing.

- Would you like to pat him?

- Yes.

- Heck yeah, heck yeah. (laughter)

- [Avery] Definitely.

Come on babe.

- Sweet knife.

I...

Oh good. 40 minutes later, you're finally done.

- Oh no, they're still playing with the zebra.

I just came to grab my phone.

- That's probably why

you didn't get all my "let's go" texts.

- 49 text messages?

Ashly.

- Avery we are so behind schedule.

We're gonna miss everything.

- You're kind of already missing everything.

We're having a blast.

I mean, when else do you get to play with a baby horse?

With your friends?

- It's not in the itinerary.

Izzy's missing her whole day.

- Oh, Izzy is?

- [Izzy] This is the best day ever!

Can we get dip'n'dots, Ashly please?!

(sighs)

- Hey, still have all day babe.

- Fran, where's the closest,

and yet best place to get dip'n'dots?

- Bout 10 miles down the road.

- Yes!

- [Fran & Carl] Goodbye!

- [Carl] Have a good trip.

- [Fran] Be careful. - [Avery] They were so nice.

- [Ashly] I know.

Alright, next stop dots and then the beach!

- [Izzy] (singing) The beach!

- [Avery] That was so fun!

And we're here!

- [Ashly] We're here, we're at the beach.

Dibs on the sand!

- Beach is closed today.

- Wait why?

- Riptides.

- Okay, well we won't go in the water.

(chuckles)

- That's what they all say.

- Who all?

- They.

- But we drove all day.

- Yeah it's my cousins last day.

Look at her face, you're gonna say no to that face?

- Oh, it's your last day?

- Yeah.

- Hey, you wanna know somethin'?

Don't give a hoot!

This is my job!

You think after telling hundreds of people to pack it up,

that I'm gonna risk my source of health insurance

on some half-arsed puppy dog face?

- Yeah?

- I'm not, move it!

Come on, move it!

Get, move it!

- [Ashly] What a crazy.

- You did good Brandon.

You're doing god's work.

Another day, another life--

Hey!

- Ooh Z, Z.

I found a Z on the plane banner.

"Zippity's Zipper Outlet Blowout Sale!"

- Oh, good one babe!

- I told you this was a fun game.

- Yeah, alright.

- You're so gorgeous.

- Probably shouldn't tell her I found a Z

like an hour ago right?

- Right. (laughs)

- Do you guys want to go to Yosemite next month

when it's cooler out?

- Yeah!

- Yeah, that'd be so fun. - Yeah, I'm so down.

I just gotta ask my dad if it's okay.

- Cool.

- Crap, actually I have to make a quick, quick phone call.

- [Ashly] Did you not tell your dad you were with us today?

- [Diego] Yeah,

everything's fine. - [Ashly] Diego, wait.

Wait, I gotta snap this.

♫ You can take me just where you want to

♫ Down to the coast to somewhere I don't know

♫ I just want to go with you somewhere

♫ Don't care where, I just want to be there

♫ Take me down to the ocean

♫ Take me anywhere the sun shines

♫ Take me anywhere, I don't mind

♫ Woo-Ooh

(scary sound) (bird squawks)

♫ Be on the lookout for this one

♫ She's only looking to have fun

(happy, playful music)

- [Man] Get in here (mumbles)

- I might have a black eye, like literally!

My girlfriend was telling me that.

- Hey, there's a hair in my water.

- Is it your hair?

(laughter)

(strange laughter)

- I don't think that looks like Donald--

- No not looks Donald Trump!

(laughter)

- Okay.

(jumbles her words)

- I am so sorry.

- I've been twice divorced by two women (laughs).

And guess what, I was been (jumbles words).

(glass breaks)

- Sorry.

- Now you don't understand this.

But when you get older, your body doesn't--

- (laughing) I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

- [Arianna] It's like, you're not Rhianna!

- I hope not, because--

(laughter)

- Close your mouth.

(laughter)

- 'Cause your moms my aunt, you know?

Oh (bleep)

I'm fine.

(grunts)

Oh my god.

There's a spider right here. (screams)

- Oh. - Oh my god.

Oh my god, quickly.

- Oh my god! - Oh my god!

- Let us in!

I'm gonna (beep) in my pants!

Siri, how do you get blood out of a, I mean...

(groans)

- It's a lawnmower riding motorcycle.

(laughter) (loud motor)

- Ashly, don't leave me!

- Do you love them?

- I perpetuate (jumbles word).

I (jumbles words)

(mumbles)

- Hashtag dizzy.

- Die already!

(laughter)

- The caffeine's kicked in.

Wait till I get a cinnamon roll in this tum-tum.

- Aw, good job babe.

- Thanks babe.

You're blocking the logo, move.

(laughter)

- [Francesco] Ashly's having a moment.

- [Man] Pretend you're a meatball.

- I'm sorry, it's not about where the meatballs are.

It's a concept (laughs).

I'm gonna be ready in like two seconds.