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CHAPTER 14
During dinner, Mr. Bennet scarcely spoke at all; but when the servants were withdrawn,
he thought it time to have some conversation with his guest, and therefore
started a subject in which he expected him
to shine, by observing that he seemed very fortunate in his patroness.
Lady Catherine de Bourgh's attention to his wishes, and consideration for his comfort,
appeared very remarkable.
Mr. Bennet could not have chosen better. Mr. Collins was eloquent in her praise.
The subject elevated him to more than usual solemnity of manner, and with a most
important aspect he protested that "he had never in his life witnessed such behaviour
in a person of rank--such affability and
condescension, as he had himself experienced from Lady Catherine.
She had been graciously pleased to approve of both of the discourses which he had
already had the honour of preaching before her.
She had also asked him twice to dine at Rosings, and had sent for him only the
Saturday before, to make up her pool of quadrille in the evening.
Lady Catherine was reckoned proud by many people he knew, but he had never seen
anything but affability in her.
She had always spoken to him as she would to any other gentleman; she made not the
smallest objection to his joining in the society of the neighbourhood nor to his
leaving the parish occasionally for a week or two, to visit his relations.
She had even condescended to advise him to marry as soon as he could, provided he
chose with discretion; and had once paid him a visit in his humble parsonage, where
she had perfectly approved all the
alterations he had been making, and had even vouchsafed to suggest some herself--
some shelves in the closet upstairs."
"That is all very proper and civil, I am sure," said Mrs. Bennet, "and I dare say
she is a very agreeable woman. It is a pity that great ladies in general
are not more like her.
Does she live near you, sir?" "The garden in which stands my humble abode
is separated only by a lane from Rosings Park, her ladyship's residence."
"I think you said she was a widow, sir?
Has she any family?" "She has only one daughter, the heiress of
Rosings, and of very extensive property." "Ah!" said Mrs. Bennet, shaking her head,
"then she is better off than many girls.
And what sort of young lady is she? Is she handsome?"
"She is a most charming young lady indeed.
Lady Catherine herself says that, in point of true beauty, Miss de Bourgh is far
superior to the handsomest of her sex, because there is that in her features which
marks the young lady of distinguished birth.
She is unfortunately of a sickly constitution, which has prevented her from
making that progress in many accomplishments which she could not have
otherwise failed of, as I am informed by
the lady who superintended her education, and who still resides with them.
But she is perfectly amiable, and often condescends to drive by my humble abode in
her little phaeton and ponies."
"Has she been presented? I do not remember her name among the ladies
at court."
"Her indifferent state of health unhappily prevents her being in town; and by that
means, as I told Lady Catherine one day, has deprived the British court of its
brightest ornaments.
Her ladyship seemed pleased with the idea; and you may imagine that I am happy on
every occasion to offer those little delicate compliments which are always
acceptable to ladies.
I have more than once observed to Lady Catherine, that her charming daughter
seemed born to be a duchess, and that the most elevated rank, instead of giving her
consequence, would be adorned by her.
These are the kind of little things which please her ladyship, and it is a sort of
attention which I conceive myself peculiarly bound to pay."
"You judge very properly," said Mr. Bennet, "and it is happy for you that you possess
the talent of flattering with delicacy.
May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or
are the result of previous study?"
"They arise chiefly from what is passing at the time, and though I sometimes amuse
myself with suggesting and arranging such little elegant compliments as may be
adapted to ordinary occasions, I always
wish to give them as unstudied an air as possible."
Mr. Bennet's expectations were fully answered.
His cousin was as absurd as he had hoped, and he listened to him with the keenest
enjoyment, maintaining at the same time the most resolute composure of countenance,
and, except in an occasional glance at
Elizabeth, requiring no partner in his pleasure.
By tea-time, however, the dose had been enough, and Mr. Bennet was glad to take his
guest into the drawing-room again, and, when tea was over, glad to invite him to
read aloud to the ladies.
Mr. Collins readily assented, and a book was produced; but, on beholding it (for
everything announced it to be from a circulating library), he started back, and
begging pardon, protested that he never read novels.
Kitty stared at him, and Lydia exclaimed. Other books were produced, and after some
deliberation he chose Fordyce's Sermons.
Lydia gaped as he opened the volume, and before he had, with very monotonous
solemnity, read three pages, she interrupted him with:
"Do you know, mamma, that my uncle Phillips talks of turning away Richard; and if he
does, Colonel Forster will hire him. My aunt told me so herself on Saturday.
I shall walk to Meryton to-morrow to hear more about it, and to ask when Mr. Denny
comes back from town."
Lydia was bid by her two eldest sisters to hold her tongue; but Mr. Collins, much
offended, laid aside his book, and said:
"I have often observed how little young ladies are interested by books of a serious
stamp, though written solely for their benefit.
It amazes me, I confess; for, certainly, there can be nothing so advantageous to
them as instruction. But I will no longer importune my young
cousin."
Then turning to Mr. Bennet, he offered himself as his antagonist at backgammon.
Mr. Bennet accepted the challenge, observing that he acted very wisely in
leaving the girls to their own trifling amusements.
Mrs. Bennet and her daughters apologised most civilly for Lydia's interruption, and
promised that it should not occur again, if he would resume his book; but Mr. Collins,
after assuring them that he bore his young
cousin no ill-will, and should never resent her behaviour as any affront, seated
himself at another table with Mr. Bennet, and prepared for backgammon.