in the aquarium at a Bass Pro Shops.

在Bass Pro Shops的水族館裡。

Employees said they would have gotten him out

員工們說他們會把他弄出來

if there were only some fishing gear nearby.

如果附近有一些漁具就好了。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, come on, James, Jimmy.

-吉米，吉米，吉米，來吧，詹姆斯，吉米。

-Whoa! [ Cheers and applause ]

-哇！[歡呼聲和掌聲]

Michael Che! -Jimmy.

邁克爾-切！-詹姆 詹姆

-Michael Che is here! [ Cheers and applause ]

邁克爾-切在這裡！[歡呼聲和掌聲]

What?!

什麼？

-Jimmy, Jim, Jamantha.

-吉姆，吉姆，賈曼莎。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

A guy swimming in a Bass Pro Shops aquarium,

一個人在Bass Pro Shops的水族館裡游泳。

and that's the best you can do?

這就是你能做的最好的事情？

-What, you think you can do better?

-怎麼，你覺得你可以做得更好？

-You're damn right we can. -Oh, oh, my gosh!

-你說的沒錯，我們可以-哦，哦，我的天哪！

Colin Jost! [ Cheers and applause ]

Colin Jost![歡呼聲和掌聲]

Colin Jost? You too?

Colin Jost?你也是？

Well, you know what this means.

嗯，你知道這意味著什麼。

It's time for a good old-fashioned

是時候來一場老式的好戲了

"Tonight Show" jokeoff!

"今夜秀 "的笑話!

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

Alright, I think we all know the rules,

好吧，我想大家都知道規則。

but I'll repeat the setup.

但我還是要重複一下這個設定。

Police in Louisiana arrested a man after he went swimming

路易斯安那州警方逮捕了一名男子，因為他去游泳。

in the aquarium at a Bass Pro Shops.

在Bass Pro Shops的水族館裡。

And go!

走！

-Beep-beep-beep. [ Laughter ]

-嗶-嗶-嗶。[笑聲]

Weirdly, he was charged with being too sober

奇怪的是，他被指控太清醒了

for a guy at a Bass Pro Shops.

為一個在Bass Pro Shops的傢伙。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-[ Trills tongue ]

-[Trills tongue]

Even worse, he wore his face mask as a banana hammock.

更要命的是，他把自己的面膜當成香蕉吊床來戴。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-[ Mimics buzzer ] The guy wasn't in jail very long.

-這傢伙在監獄裡呆的時間不長。

It was more of a catch and release.

更是捕風捉影。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-Boop, beep, boop. [ Laughter ]

-啵，嗶，啵。[笑聲]

So, move over, "Up."

所以，移動過來，"上"。

"Bass Pro Shops Aquarium" is now the saddest Pixar film.

"Bass Pro Shops Aquarium "是現在最悲催的皮克斯電影。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-[ Trills tongue ] Meanwhile Sea World was like,

-同時，海洋世界就像：

"For 50 bucks, you can do whatever."

"50塊錢，你可以做任何事情。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-Bahm! They were able to catch him by baiting the hook

-巴姆！他們用鉤子引誘他上鉤了

with a little bit more crack.

多了一點裂縫。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

♪♪

♪♪

-Alright, it is time for round two.

-好了，是時候進行第二輪了。

Here's the next story.

下面是下一個故事。

A 94-year-old Virginia man received permission

弗吉尼亞州一名94歲的老人獲得許可

from Wrigley's to be buried in a casket

箭牌公司的人將被埋在一個棺材裡

shaped like a giant pack of Juicy Fruit.

形如一包巨大的果汁果。

Go! -Beep.

走！-嗶嗶

The man plans to be buried on

該男子計劃在

the underside of a middle school desk.

中學課桌下面。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-Bahm! Permission? What are they gonna do, kill him?

-巴姆！允許嗎？他們要做什麼，殺了他？

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-[ Trills tongue ]

-[Trills tongue]

At first the man's family loved the idea,

起初，男人的家人很喜歡這個主意。

but then quickly realized it was tasteless.

但很快就意識到這是無味的。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-Beep and beep.

-嗶嗶聲，嗶嗶聲。

Right now there's a carpenter taking measurements

現在有一個木匠在測量尺寸

with a roll of Bubble Tape.

用一卷泡泡膠帶。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-Beep!

-嗶！

So in 1,000 years, archaeologists will still wonder

所以在1000年後，考古學家仍然會懷疑

what the hell is the fruit flavor is supposed to be?

水果味到底是什麼東西？

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-Beep!

-嗶！

And here to read the eulogy off a giant wrapper is Bazooka Joe.

而在這裡宣讀悼詞的是巴祖卡-喬。

[ Dinging ]

[ 叮叮 ]

♪♪

♪♪

Alright, final round.

好吧，最後一輪。

Here's the last story.

這是最後一個故事。

After 43 years, Chuck E. Cheese announced

43年後，Chuck E. Cheese宣佈

they've filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.

他們已經申請了破產保護。

Go! -Beep!

走！-嗶！

So -- [ Laughs ]

所以 -- [笑]

I started with way too much beep.

我一開始就發出了太多的嗶嗶聲。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-You came in hot, man. -Alright, I'll back it off.

-你來了，夥計-好吧，我就不說了。

-Came in hot with the beeps. -So.

-伴隨著蜂鳴聲進來的.-所以

-No, it doesn't say "so." [ Laughter ]

-不，它沒有說 "所以"。[笑聲]

-Sorry. Beep! -Yes.

-抱歉嗶！-是的

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-Wow, so there might be some flaws in the business model

-哇，所以商業模式可能有一些缺陷。

of a rat who sells pizza to children.

的老鼠誰賣比薩餅的孩子。

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

-So. [ Laughter ]

-所以。[笑聲]

Okay, but before you close,

好吧，但在你關閉之前，

I think my kid is still in your ball pit somewhere.

我想我的孩子還在你的球坑裡某個地方。

[ Laughter ] Sorry.

[笑聲] 對不起。

-Whahm! Which I think means that in 2024,

-哈姆！我想這意味著在2024年

Chuck E. Cheese will be President of the United States.

查克-E-起司將成為美國總統。

[ Dinging ] -Ah, there you go right there!

[叮噹] -啊，你去那裡！

That was "Jokeoff!"

那是 "Jokeoff"！

[ Cheers and applause ]

[歡呼聲和掌聲]

Give it up for Colin Jost, Michael Che, everybody!

為科林-喬斯特，邁克爾-切，大家鼓掌！