but that was part of my life as a hit man.

但這是我作為一個殺手的生活的一部分。

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

Hey, I'm John Alite, an ex-enforcer

嘿，我是約翰-艾利特，一個前執法者。

for the Gambino family, hit man,

甘比諾家族的殺手

and I'm here to play, Never have I ever.

我是來玩的，我從來沒有。

Never have I ever killed someone.

我從來沒有殺過人。

I have,

我有。

in the past.

在過去，。

You can't take back what you did.

你不能收回你所做的事。

You can only move forward, but that was part of my life

你只能往前走，但那是我生命的一部分。

as a hit man enforcer for the Gambino family,

作為甘比諾家族的殺手執法者。

and some of the things I did for the Gambino family,

以及我為甘比諾家族所做的一些事情。

I killed with a bat.

我是用蝙蝠殺的。

I killed with a knife, I killed with a gun.

我是用刀殺的，我是用槍殺的。

It was part of the life for me to enforce

對我來說，這是生活的一部分，要執行。

some of our rules and laws when I was sent by guys

我們的一些規則和法律，當我被派來的人

that I worked for personally.

我親自為之工作的。

Never have I ever nearly been killed.

我從來沒有差點被殺過。

I have.

我有。

Unfortunately I was stabbed up

不幸的是，我被刺傷了

a couple of different occasions and shot.

幾個不同的場合和拍攝。

I was hit by a truck.

我被一輛卡車撞了

I was also baseball batted and piped,

我也是棒球棒和管道。

and on several occasions, different organizations

和幾次不同組織

tried to machine gun me on the corner of my house.

試圖用機槍在我家拐角處射擊我。

Another time, guys involved with the mafia

另一次，與黑手黨有關的人。

tried to shoot me down the block from my house.

試圖在我家附近向我開槍。

One occasion, I was in the hospital for about six weeks.

有一次，我在醫院住了大約六個星期。

I got out of the hospital and was probably about 80 pounds.

我出院後，大概有80斤左右。

That was just part of my everyday life, unfortunately.

不幸的是，這只是我日常生活的一部分。

Never have I ever refused to kill someone.

我從來沒有拒絕過殺人。

I have.

我有。

At the time John Gotti Sr. was in MCC Manhattan.

當時老約翰-高蒂在曼哈頓MCC。

He asked his bro Richard Gotti to come back

他請他的兄弟Richard Gotti回來了

and see me at the club after the jailhouse visit

監獄之行後在俱樂部見我吧

and asked me to kill a guy as a favor.

並讓我殺一個人作為一個忙。

I believe he was part of, or one of the guys

我相信他是其中的一員，或者是其中的一個人

that killed my friend, Greg Ryder.

殺死我的朋友Greg Ryder的那個人

That body was never found and he was supposedly

屍體一直沒有找到，他應該是...

chopped up and disappeared.

斬了，消失了。

I refused to do any kind of favor for him

我拒絕為他做任何事情。

to help him beat his case

幫他打官司

while he was in jail for several murders.

而他卻因為幾起謀殺案而入獄。

During my enforcing days, I was also accused

在我執行任務的日子裡，我也曾被指控

of killing a rabbi who hired two people

殺死一個僱了兩個人的拉比。

in Jersey to murder his wife while he had an affair.

在澤西州謀殺他的妻子，而他有外遇。

It was big news in Philadelphia, in South Jersey.

這在費城，在南澤西州是個大新聞。

I was questioned, accused of that murder.

我被審問，被指控謀殺。

Later on, I was cleared.

後來，我被清除了。

They found the two guys that did it.

他們找到了那兩個人

They told on each other, the rabbi went to prison for life.

他們互相告發，拉比進了監獄，被判終身監禁。

The detectives at the time, when they came to see me,

當時的偵探來找我的時候，。

you guys know what I do for a living?

你們知道我是幹什麼的嗎？

You think I'm a hit man, but I wouldn't kill a woman.

你認為我是個殺手，但我不會殺女人。

I'm the guy that would go after the guy that killed a woman.

我就是那個會去追殺女人的人。

I would kill that person.

我會殺了那個人。

So I think afterwards my reputation talked for itself.

所以我想之後我的名聲就不言而喻了。

They knew I wouldn't do things like that,

他們知道我不會做這樣的事情。

and I never got accused of something like that again.

而我再也沒有被人指責過這樣的事情。

My hits were involved only with street guys, mob guys,

我的命案只涉及到街頭的人，黑道的人。

nothing outside of that.

除此之外，沒有任何東西。

Never have I ever been to prison.

我從來沒有進過監獄。

Unfortunately, I've been to prison my whole life.

不幸的是，我一輩子都在監獄裡。

I've been off parole, the last couple of years

我一直在假釋，過去的幾年裡

was the first time since I'm 17 I've been off parole.

這是我17歲以來第一次被假釋。

I've been in prison in Florida, in New Jersey,

我在佛羅里達州和新澤西州都坐過牢。

on a cruise ship, in Brazil, probably 40 prisons.

在巴西的一艘遊輪上，大概有40所監獄。

I did a book called Prison Rules with Nick Christopher.

我和尼克-克里斯托弗一起寫了一本叫《監獄規則》的書。

It's a handbook actually about the pitfalls of the street

這其實是一本關於街頭陷阱的手記

and how to avoid them, how to avoid trouble inside prison

以及如何避免它們，如何避免在監獄內發生麻煩。

if unfortunately you find yourself there.

如果你不幸發現自己在那裡。

When I went to jail in Brazil,

我在巴西坐牢的時候

it was nothing like a United States prison

跟美國的監獄完全不一樣

because it's almost like concentration camp,

因為它幾乎像集中營。

like in the prisons I was in, you'd get about

就像我在監獄裡一樣，你會得到大約。

a hundred something guys that get killed a year.

每年有一百個人被殺。

There's guns inside the prisons, there's machetes,

監獄裡有槍，有砍刀。

and there's occasions where I myself

也有一些場合，我自己

had to stab several guys in prison in Brazil,

不得不在巴西的監獄裡刺傷幾個人。

but it was more of a torture situation,

但這更像是一種折磨。

not here where you're housed and confined.

而不是在這裡，在這裡你被安置和限制。

There, you're tortured, you'd be

在那裡，你被折磨，你會是...

in a completely different situation in third world country.

在第三世界國家的情況完全不同。

I think when you grow up in a life I grew up,

我想，當你在我成長的生活中長大。

fortunately for me, my father trained me as a kid

幸好我從小受父親的薰陶。

to accept getting hurt.

接受受傷。

As bad as they are, you have the mentality to never quit.

雖然他們很糟糕，但你有永不放棄的心態。

You're going to survive it somehow.

你會以某種方式活下來的。

You're going to get out of it.

你會擺脫它的。

You're going to try to escape

你要想辦法逃走

and you have that no quit attitude.

而你有那種不放棄的態度。

It was a life where I hurt and killed a lot of people.

那是我傷害和殺害了很多人的生活。

It's the part that took me to another level

這是讓我進入另一個層次的部分。

that most guys don't go to.

大多數人都不去。

Even though they talk, they'll do this, they'll do that.

雖然他們說話，但他們會做這個，會做那個。

Like most mob guys, if you go through the counts

就像大多數黑幫的人一樣，如果你去數數的話

and see how many people they actually hurt, shot, stabbed,

看看他們到底傷害了多少人，射殺了多少人，刺傷了多少人。

very few of them have done that kind of work.

他們中很少有人做過這種工作。

It's only a handful of guys like myself

只有像我這樣的少數人而已

that do that kind of work.

做這種工作的。

Never have I ever suffered PTSD.

我從來沒有患過創傷後應激障礙。

I have.

我有。

I think anybody that's been in wars

我想任何一個打過仗的人...

or seen the violence I saw, it's impossible

或看到我所看到的暴力，這是不可能的。

not to suffer from PTSD unless you're a sociopath.

不患創傷後應激障礙，除非你是一個反社會的人。

The toll of people I hurt, killed, butchered,

我傷害、殺害、屠殺的人的傷亡。

I think took a toll on me mentally, and I started

我想這對我的精神造成了傷害，我開始...

seeing therapist probably for about 30 years, same woman,

看到治療師大概30年，同一個女人。

somebody I relied on to help me not lose my temper

我的依靠，讓我不至於發脾氣。

when people were pushing my buttons and at times I yell,

當人們在逼迫我的時候，有時我也會大喊大叫。

I scream, but I don't react the way I used to.

我尖叫，但我不會像以前那樣反應。

It's okay to think the same way.

同樣的想法也是可以的。

Just don't react the same way.

只是反應不一樣。

My lifelong dream is to continue helping every kid

我一生的夢想是繼續幫助每一個孩子。

not to stay in prison, to get out and live a good life.

不在監獄裡待著，要出來過好日子。

Never have I ever regretted killing someone.

我從來沒有後悔過殺人。

I have not,

我沒有。

and the reason why I say I have not,

以及我為什麼說我沒有。

and I think that's going to surprise a lot of people

我想這將會讓很多人感到驚訝。

because if I didn't come to this point in my life,

因為如果不是我走到今天這一步，

I don't think I could have ever save

我想我不可能救得了。

all the kids' lives I'm saving now.

所有孩子的生活，我現在拯救。

So I think for whatever God's plan was for me,

所以我想不管上帝對我的計劃是什麼。

it was for me to get to this point, the lowest point

對我來說，這是我走到這一步的最低點。

you could probably get into your life

你可能會進入你的生活

and reflect back on the lives that you took,

並回想自己所承受的生命。

the people that get hurt, but in the long run,

受傷害的人，但從長遠來看，。

I think I'm gonna save more lives

我想我要去拯救更多的生命

by doing the things like I'm doing now,

通過做像我現在做的事情。

the Johnny and Jean podcast show

約翰尼和讓播客秀

and all the talks and the second chance program

和所有的會談和第二次機會計劃

for teenagers and young adults.

為青少年和青年提供。

I think, you know, some of the rewarding stories

我想，你知道，一些有價值的故事。

that people ask me.

人們問我。

There's a young boy became Muay Thai fighter champion.

有一個小男孩成為泰拳冠軍。

His name's Sam Greenfield.

他叫薩姆-格林菲爾德

I've mentioned him plenty of times

我說過他很多次了

on different podcasts and shows I've done.

在我做過的不同播客和節目中。

He had a friend that was killed in gang violence in the U.K.

他有一個朋友在英國的幫派暴力中被殺。

So I flew over to the U.K. and Sam's father

所以我飛到了英國，山姆的父親也飛到了英國

got in touch with me.

與我取得了聯繫。

We started speaking and I started talking to his son

我們開始說話，我開始和他的兒子說話。

and his son turned around his life

和他的兒子改變了他的生活

instead of trying to get revenge

不圖報仇

and kill the guys that killed his friend.

並殺死殺死他朋友的人。

He changed his life, he started helping kids advocate.

他改變了自己的生活，他開始幫助孩子們宣傳。

The kid's became a champion fighter

這孩子成了冠軍拳手

and he just received a award this year

而他今年剛剛獲得了一個獎項

for advocating for young adults.

為倡導青少年。

So it's something I'm really proud of.

所以，這是我非常自豪的事情。

I changed the guy's life, I'm saving a lot of guys' lives.

我改變了那個人的生活，我救了很多人的命。

It really makes a successful one.

這真的是一個成功的。

It helps me to move forward, doing what I'm doing.

它幫助我前進，做我正在做的事情。

I can't look back and regret it

我不能回頭，不能後悔

because I can't take it back, and it's something

因為我不能把它收回來，它的東西。

that'll just frustrate me mentally, and I think

那隻會讓我在精神上受挫，我想。

the only thing I could do was use what I did

我唯一能做的就是用我所做的事情

in such a bad past to make such a good future.

在如此糟糕的過去，才能成就如此美好的未來。

(intriguing music)

(悅耳的音樂)