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  • ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,

  • WELCOME BACK.

  • LET'S SAY HELLO TO MR. JON BATISTE.

  • HELLO, JON.

  • >> Jon: THUNDER, THUNDER AND LIGHTNING!

  • THUNDER.

  • >> Stephen: THE BAND SOUNDED GREAT JUST NOW ON THAT BUMPER,

  • BIG SOUND.

  • HOW DO YOU GET SUCH A BIG SOUND WITH YOU'RE ALL APART?

  • IT'S ALL IN THE ENGINEERING, I SUPPOSE.

  • >> Jon: YEAH, AND IN THE HANDS OF THE PLAYERS.

  • YOU HAVE TO JUST CHANNEL IT, YOU KNOW.

  • WE'RE TRYING OUR BEST TO MAKE IT FEEL GOOD IN THIS QUARANTINE

  • TIME.

  • >> Stephen: JON, I'M GOING TO MISS YOU THANKSGIVING.

  • THE PEOPLE OUT THERE MAY NOT KNOW, BUT FOR THE LAST FOUR,

  • FIVE YEARS WE'VE BEEN HAVING THANKSGIVING TOGETHER.

  • >> Jon: YEAH.

  • >> Stephen: AND ARE YOU GOING TO BE AT YOUR-- AT YOUR

  • SPECIAL-- SPECIAL QUARANTINE PLACE?

  • >> Jon: YEAH.

  • I'LL BE QUARANTINING.

  • I'LL MISS YOU, AND I'LL MISS HAVING MY FAMILY COME UP,

  • BECAUSE THEY USUALLY COME UP.

  • >> Stephen: YOUR MOM AND DAD USUALLY HAVE DINNER WITH US,

  • TOO.

  • I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M GOING TO DO FOR YOU-- WOULD YOU LIKE SOME

  • OF THE CHARLESTON BISCUITS.

  • WOULD YOU LIKE SOME OF THE CHEESE BISCUITS?

  • >> Jon: OH, YES!

  • PLEASE.

  • THESE BISCUITS, COLD-BLOODED!

  • >> Stephen: THEY'RE PRETTY GOOD.

  • THEY'RE PRETTY GOOD BISCUITS.

  • I WILL HAVE MY MOTHER-IN-LAW SHIP YOU THE BISCUITS.

  • SHE WILL BE SO HAPPY TO DO SO.

  • DO YOU HAVE ANY MUSIC TO GET PEOPLE READY FOR SOME HAPPINESS

  • FOR THE HOLIDAYS?

  • >> Jon: YES, INDEED.

  • ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ I WANT A BISCUIT

  • I NEED IT RIGHT NOW ♪ I WANT A BISCUIT

  • OH, LET ME TELL YOU HOW ♪ >> Stephen: I SMELL A HIT.

  • I SMELL A HIT.

  • JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

  • IT MIGHT BE THE BISCUITS, BUT I THINK I'M SMELLING A HIT.

  • >> Jon: YES, INDEED HAVE A GOOD ONE.

  • >> Stephen: FOLKS, BEFORE WE GET TO IT, I JUST NEED TO LET YOU

  • KNOW THAT THE SECOND SEASON OF "OF OUR CARTOON PRESIDENT" RIGHT

  • THERE, OF WHICH I AM THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER, IS AVAILABLE

  • NOW ON D.V.D.

  • SO GO OUT, GET THIS DVD, AND THEN FIND A DVD PLAYER.

  • MAYBE TRY SIFTING THROUGH THE RUBBLE OF AN ABANDONED

  • BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO.

  • I DON'T KNOW.

  • AND IF YOU STILL CAN'T FIND A DVD PLAYER, I THINK IT'S GOING

  • TO BE AVAILABLE ON LASER DISC, AT SOME POINT, OR MARIONETTE

  • SHOW AT SOME POINT.

  • OR EDISON WAX CYLINDER VERY SOON.

  • THEY'RE DOING TALKIES THIS YEAR.

  • EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE A DVD PLAYER, IT'S JUST REALLY NICE

  • AND SHINY.

  • I BET YOUR KIDS COULD WHIP IT AT EACH OTHER ON CHRISTMAS MORNING.

  • GO GET IT.

  • GO GET IT.

  • DO I GET A PIECE OF THIS?

  • DO I GET A LITTLE TASTE?

  • DOES DADDY GET A LITTLE TASTE OF THIS?

  • I GOT BISCUITS TO BUY.

  • OKAY, HERE WE GO.

  • SPEAKING OF SHINY NEW THINGS THAT WE'RE ALL HAPPY ABOUT,

  • YESTERDAY, KAMALA HARRIS WAS BACK IN THE SENATE FOR A ROUTINE

  • VOTE, AND IT WAS A BIG DEAL, BECAUSE IT MARKED THE FIRST TIME

  • SHE WAS ON CAPITOL HILL SINCE BECOMING VICE PRESIDENT-ELECT.

  • IT'S LIKE COMING HOME FROM YOUR FIRST YEAR AT COLLEGE AND

  • MEETING UP WITH YOUR OLD FRIENDS.

  • "OH, WHAT DID YOU DO LAST SEMESTER?

  • OH, YOU GOT BANGS?

  • THAT'S COOL.

  • I DEFEATED THE MOST DANGEROUS PRESIDENT IN AMERICAN HISTORY,

  • NO BIGS.

  • YOU GUYS WANT TO DO BRUNCH?" SHE WAS THERE TO VOTE AGAINST

  • ONE OF THE PRESIDENT'S FEDERAL RESERVE BOARD NOMINEES, AND IT

  • WAS A GOOD THING SHE WAS THERE.

  • BECAUSE HAD HARRIS MISSED THE VOTE, VICE PRESIDENT PENCE WOULD

  • HAVE BEEN CALLED TO BREAK THE 48-48 TIE.

  • SHE BLOCKED HIM!

  • THERE HASN'T BEEN A VICE PRESIDENTIAL SMACKDOWN THIS

  • INTENSE SINCE SPIRO AGNEW PILE-DRIVED HUBERT HUMPHREY AT

  • THE RUMBLE IN THE ROTUNDA!

  • IT REALLY SHOULD BE THE THUNDER IN THE ROTUNDA, DON'T YOU THINK?

  • THERE IT IS.

  • NOW, YOU'D THINK HARRIS'S APPEARANCE WOULD BE AWKWARD,

  • BECAUSE NEARLY ALL OF HER REPUBLICAN COLLEAGUES HAVE

  • JOINED THE PRESIDENT'S FANTASY ISLAND IN DENYING HER VICTORY.

  • BUT SHE DID GET CONGRATULATIONS FROM SEVERAL FOLKS ACROSS THE

  • AISLE, INCLUDING THIS FIST BUMP FROM LINDSEY GRAHAM.

  • THAT COULD HAVE BEEN A CORDIAL EXCHANGE, OR SHE COULD HAVE JUST

  • BEEN BLOCKING HIS PUNCH.

  • BECAUSE HE'S GOT THE FOREARMS OF A PREMIE KITTEN.

  • HERE'S THE THING: SENATOR GRAHAM HAS BEEN ACTIVELY TRYING TO GET

  • BIDEN-HARRIS VOTES THROWN AWAY, LEGITIMATE VOTES, THROW THEM

  • OUT.

  • BUT HE EXPLAINED THAT IT'S ALL IN GOOD FUN, AND THAT HE WAS

  • "JUST SAYING HELLO.

  • I HAVEN'T A SEEN HER IN A WHILE.

  • IF IT WORKS OUT AND THEY MAKE IT, I TOLD HER I WISH HER WELL

  • AND TRY TO WORK WHERE WE CAN.

  • WE WILL KNOW HERE IN A MONTH OR SO, OR LESS."

  • MUCH LESS.

  • LIKE, NEGATIVE TWO WEEKS.

  • BECAUSE IT'S OVER, LINDSEY.

  • SHE WON.

  • YOU SOUND LIKE THE BEST MAN AT A WEDDING SAYING:

  • "CONGRATULATIONS TO THE COUPLE!

  • I REALLY THINK THESE TWO COULD ONE DAY FALL IN LOVE AND GET

  • MARRIED.

  • TILL THEN, ME AND RUDY GIULIANI ARE GOING TO BE SHAMELESSLY

  • HITTIN' ON THE CHICK IN THE WHITE DRESS."

  • REPUBLICAN SENATORS SWORE THAT CONGRATULATING THE VICE

  • PRESIDENT-ELECT DOES NOT MEAN THEY'RE HYPOCRITES.

  • SENATOR JAMES LANKFORD TOLD REPORTERS, "THE ELECTION IS NOT

  • SETTLED.

  • IF SOMEONE WALKS RIGHT UP TO YOU, YOU SAY, 'HELLO,

  • CONGRATULATIONS.'" COOL, MAN.

  • NICE SAVE.

  • "WOAH, WOAH!

  • DON'T GET IT TWISTED.

  • I DO NOT RESPECT THE WILL OF THE VOTERS.

  • I JUST HAVE MANNERS.

  • TO EVERYONE I MEET, I SAY, 'HELLO, CONGRATULATIONS."

  • ON HAVING BEEN SAID HELLO TO BY ME.'"

  • WHEN WE'RE BACK, I'LL BE JOINED BY THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE,

  • EMERITUS, MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY.

  • THE THUNDER IN THE ROTUNDA!

  • ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,

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