one of my favorite comedians, I think, of all time.

我最喜歡的喜劇演員之一，我想，所有的時間。

He has a new book called "Overstated:

他有一本新書叫《言過其實》。

A Coast to Coast Roast of the 50 States."

"從海岸到海岸的50個州的烤肉"。

Does he think maybe I'm trying to butter him up

他是不是覺得我是在討好他？

and that's why he's going to be in a bad mood?

所以他才會心情不好？

Because yeah, when I bring him out, but I meant it.

因為是的，當我把他帶出來的時候，但我是認真的。

His latest special, "Colin Quinn & Friends:

他的最新特別節目《科林-奎恩與朋友》。

A Parking Lot Comedy Show," is streaming now on HBO Max.

A Parking Lot Comedy Show》正在HBO Max上流傳。

Here is my buddy Colin Quinn.

這是我的朋友科林-奎恩

Wow. -Whoo. Ah, Jimmy.

哇哦-哇啊，吉米。

-Ah, man, I just said some great things about you, man.

-啊，夥計，我剛才說了一些關於你的好話，夥計。

-I know, but you said "one of my favorites, I think."

-我知道，但你說 "我最喜歡的一個，我想。"

-Yeah, I did.

-是的，我有

-Yeah, but you said "I think" in the middle of that.

-是的，但你在中間說了 "我想"。

I don't know why you had to... -[ Laughs ]

我不知道你為什麼要... ...-[笑]

No, I didn't say it.

不，我沒說。

Did I say "I think"? No, you're one of my favorites.

我說了 "我想 "嗎？ - 沒有，你是我最喜歡的人之一。不，你是我的最愛之一。

-Yeah, you said "you're one of my favorites, I think."

-是的，你說 "你是我最喜歡的人之一，我想"

-No, no, no, no, no.

-不，不，不，不，不。

-Yeah, you started to question yourself in the middle,

-是的，你在中間開始懷疑自己。

but look, it's still good.

但你看，它仍然是好的。

"One of my favorites, I think" is pretty good.

"我最喜歡的一個，我想 "是相當不錯的。

It's not good as "one of my favorites, unequivocally,"

這不是 "我最喜歡的作品之一，毫無疑問 "的好。

but it's still pretty good. -[ Laughs ]

但它仍然是相當不錯的。-[笑]

Alright, you were one of the hardest working comedians

好吧，你是最努力的喜劇演員之一。

there is, I would say that about you.

有，我會說你。

And because of what's happening in the world,

而且因為世界上發生的事情。

you were telling me this is the longest stretch

你告訴我這是最長的一段路

that you've gone without being in a comedy club.

你已經走了沒有在一個喜劇俱樂部。

-That's true. -That must be bizarre for you.

-那是真的.-那對你來說一定很奇怪.

But there's a very specific demographic

但有一個非常特殊的人群

that you blame the spread of COVID on.

你指責COVID的傳播。

I hate to bring this up.

我不願意提起這個。

-Nerds, because here's why it's nerds.

-書呆子，因為這就是為什麼它是書呆子。

Before the invention of the computer, nerds,

在電腦發明之前，書呆子。

they had one thing they could actually do in life

他們一生中只有一件事是可以真正做的

that would make them popular, which is medical field.

這將使他們流行，這是醫學領域。

They would sit, look in the microscope.

他們會坐著，在顯微鏡下看。

That was their only hope to be rock stars,

那是他們成為搖滾明星的唯一希望。

and they would look at slides.

他們會看幻燈片。

That was the thing.

這就是問題所在。

And so they would figure out a thing like COVID,

所以他們會想出一個類似COVID的東西。

but it took them like three weeks.

但它花了他們像三個星期。

And because they're all too busy, like, you know,

因為他們都太忙了，就像，你知道的。

involved with movies and music

涉足影視音樂

and apps, we're getting, like, third-rate nerds

和應用程序，我們得到的，就像，三流的書呆子。

to be in the medical field.

要在醫學領域。

-[ Laughing ]

-[笑]

Because they're developing apps now instead of focusing

因為他們現在正在開發應用程序，而不是專注於。

on what they should be nerding about,

在他們應該書呆子的問題上。

which is science and medicine.

這就是科學和醫學。

-Yeah, which is saving our lives so we can push them

-是啊，這是在救我們的命，這樣我們就可以推他們了

into lockers for another couple hundred years.

變成儲物櫃，再過幾百年。

-Even though you can't perform right now,

-雖然你現在不能表演了,

are you still writing a lot?

你還在寫很多嗎？

-Yes, I'm writing on my ph-- I write on my phone constantly.

-是的，我在用手機寫... ... 我一直在用手機寫。

I got a few joke ideas. You want to hear any of them?

我有一些笑話的想法。你想聽嗎？

-I'd love to hear some. -Thank you.

-我很想聽一些.-謝謝你

Well, first of all, corona stuff, obviously.

好吧，首先，電暈的東西，顯然。

-Okay. -In movies,

-好的 在電影裡

all those Liam Neeson movies, like "Taken."

所有這些連姆・尼森的電影， 像 "被帶走"。

-Uh-huh. -Right?

-嗯哼-是嗎？

Now it's going to change, like, "I will look for you,

現在要變了，比如 "我會找你的"。

I will find you,

我會找到你的

and I will give you the finger across the room.

我就給你隔著房間的手指。

It will be awkward."

會很尷尬的。"

Sounds like a sketch that got cut at dress,

聽起來像是在衣服上被剪掉的草圖。

now that I say it out loud. -Not bad.

現在我大聲說出來了。-不錯

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

'Cause you can't go near people, the six feet.

因為你不能靠近人，六英尺。

I understand. -What's that? Exactly.

我明白了-那是什麼？是什麼？

And sex scenes, when you explain it, it's even worse.

而性愛場面，你一解釋，就更糟糕了。

Sex scenes -- there's going to be no more sex.

性愛場面--將不再有性愛。

People are not going to kiss in a movie or the whole audience

人們不會在電影中接吻，也不會讓所有的觀眾都接吻。

is going to go like, "Ugh!"

是要去像，"唉！"

Imagine two people exchanging sal-- we're all going to think

想象一下，兩個人交換沙... ... 我們都會認為...

like, "What is that person's husband and wife going to do

如："那個人的丈夫和妻子要做什麼?

with these perverts out there."

與這些變態在那裡。"

It's going to go back to like the 19-- in the 1940s,

它要回到像19 -- 在20世紀40年代。

people would just wink at each other in a movie

在電影中人們只會互相拋媚眼。

and that was like sex.

那就像做愛一樣。

Or they would, like, have bunk beds on a train,

或者他們會，喜歡在火車上睡雙層床。

and you were like, "Ooh," and wear pajamas.

和你一樣，"哦，"和穿睡衣。

They all wore pajamas.

他們都穿著睡衣。

And that was like, "Ooh my God, pajamas, that's a hot movie."

這就像，"哦，我的上帝，睡衣， 這是一個熱門的電影。"

-Bunk beds on a train. Oh, my gosh.

-火車上的雙層床哦，我的天哪

These are great bits.

這些都是偉大的位。

-They're the beginnings of great bits, thank you.

-這些都是偉大的開始，謝謝你。

-I want to talk about the book.

-我想談談這本書

Gosh, it's so funny.

天哪，太好笑了。

It's Called "overstated:

這就是所謂的 "言過其實"。

A Coast to Coast Roast of the 50 States,"

從海岸到海岸的50個州的烤肉，"

and nice quotes in the back here.

和後面漂亮的報價在這裡。

A few quotes.

幾句名言。

"New York Times" called you a bar-stool philosopher.

"紐約時報 "說你是酒吧的哲學家。

That's a compliment, right?

這是一種恭維，對嗎？

-It depends on the bar.

-這取決於酒吧。

You know, sometimes it's, you know, some erudite

你知道，有時它是，你知道，一些博學的

Irish intellectual professor with his corduroy jacket,

愛爾蘭知識分子教授和他的燈芯絨外套。

spouting Joyce or it could be a drunken lout who's like,

滔滔不絕的喬伊斯，也可能是個醉醺醺的瘋子，他就像。

"Hey, I'll tell you what I think is going on."

"喂，我告訴你，我認為是怎麼回事。"

You know what I mean? So I don't know how they meant it.

你知道我的意思嗎？所以我不知道他們是什麼意思。

It sounds like a little bit of a left-handed compliment.

聽起來好像有點左支右絀的意思。

-Yeah, a little. -Maybe I'm a little paranoid.

-是的，有一點-也許我有點妄想症

-I want to talk to you about this special

-我想和你談談這個特別的問題。

because you figured out a way to do a socially

因為你想出了一個辦法來做一個社會上的

distant stand-up show.

遙遠的脫口秀。

You have a new special on HBO Max.

你在HBO Max有一個新的特別節目。

"Colin Quinn & Friends: A Parking Lot Comedy Show."

"科林-奎恩和朋友們：一個停車場的喜劇表演。"

You shot it at a drive-in theater in Brooklyn.

你是在布魯克林的一家汽車影院拍的。

I didn't even know there was a drive-in theater in Brooklyn.

我都不知道布魯克林有汽車影院。

-Yeah. -How did the idea come together?

-是啊 這個想法是怎麼來的？

How did you do this? You direct it.

你是怎麼做到的？你指揮它。

-Well, I did a tweet in March and then my manager was like,

-我在3月份發了一條微博，然後我的經理就說：

"We should do that as a real thing."

"我們應該把它當作一件實事來做。"

I tweeted March 3rd or something,

我發了3月3日的微博什麼的。

"Hey, drive-in comedy," trying to be funny on Twitter.

"嘿，開車的喜劇"，想在微博上搞笑。

You know how I like to mix it up a little, and then he goes --

你知道我喜歡混合一下，然後他就... ...

he started pitching it around, then HBO Max was like,

他開始四處推銷，然後HBO Max就像。

"Yeah, we'll do a special."

"是啊，我們會做一個特別的。"

So then I get my friends and it's basically us doing

所以我找來我的朋友，基本上是我們在做。

a socially distant -- doing stand-up for cars,

一個社會上的異類--為汽車做站臺。

which, you know, like 50 cars in a parking lot,

其中，你知道，像50輛汽車 在一個停車場。

and it was funny.

這很有趣。

A lot of people, like the emcee Rich Vos goes,

很多人，像司儀裡奇-沃斯去。

"Hey, don't worry, folks. We don't have bouncers here.

"嘿，別擔心，夥計們。我們這裡沒有保鏢。

If you give us trouble, we have tow trucks."

如果你給我們添麻煩，我們有拖車。"

-[ Laughs ]

-[笑]

You know what I liked about it is also

你知道我喜歡什麼嗎？

not just the acts on stage but also a lot of the --

不僅僅是舞臺上的表演，而且還有很多... ...

just what comedians talk about backstage.

只是喜劇演員在後臺談論的內容。

-Yeah. -And hanging out.

-是的

-All that banter.

-所有的玩笑。

All the fun of the -- you know,

所有的樂趣... 你知道的。

that communal bonding that you miss

你所懷念的集體情誼

because you no longer have that.

因為你不再擁有這些。

Because you're by yourself in a studio.

因為你是一個人在工作室裡。

You don't even have an audience anymore.

你甚至沒有觀眾了。

You're literally back to being alone.

你真的回到了孤獨的狀態。

I've seen them online every night.

我每天晚上都在網上看到他們。

It's you as a little boy in Saugerties with a hair brush

這是你作為一個小男孩在Saugerties用頭髮刷子。

in front of your mirror doing jokes

對著鏡子說笑

you don't even know if they're getting laughs or not.

你甚至不知道他們是否在笑。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-You get right in there, you know.

-你馬上進去，你知道嗎？

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

It is a bit awkward, you know.

這是一個有點尷尬的，你知道的。

Do you remember the most awkward gig you ever had?

你還記得你最尷尬的一次演出嗎？

-Well, I mean, compared to, like, the car gig was --

-好吧，我的意思是，相比於，像，汽車的演出是 -

that's what I was trying to tell people.

這就是我想告訴大家的。

We've all had so many gigs.

我們都有這麼多的演出。

You know, in comedy,

你知道，在喜劇中。

we're suddenly, like, oh, doing comedy clubs.

我們突然，喜歡，哦，做喜劇俱樂部。

That's how it works, and then suddenly you're next to

這就是它的工作原理，然後突然你旁邊的。

somebody's pool in a backyard,

有人的游泳池在後院。

and you're like, "Wait a minute.

你會想，"等一下。

I'm supposed to do comedy here, right?"

我在這裡應該是演喜劇的吧？"

-That was awful.

-太可怕了

-My famous bad gig is De Niro's birthday party,

-我最著名的糟糕的演出是德尼羅的生日派對。

his 60th birthday party,

他的60歲生日派對。

and I went in there and ruined his birthday.

我去了那裡，毀了他的生日。

Here's how bad it was 'cause even I was like,

這是多麼糟糕，因為連我都喜歡，

"Maybe I'm exaggerating. It wasn't that bad.

"也許是我誇大其詞了。也沒那麼糟糕。

He's had such a life filled with so many things.

他的一生中充滿了太多的事情。

He probably doesn't even remember it."

他可能都不記得了。"

And then like 10 years later,

然後像10年後。

Jim Norton -- we happened to talking to De Niro

吉姆-諾頓 -- 我們碰巧和德尼羅聊了幾句

outside of some thing, and Jim Norton goes,

外的一些事情，而吉姆-諾頓去。

"Remember the time he bombed at your birthday party?"

"還記得他在你的生日聚會上轟炸的那次嗎？"

And De Niro and his wife

而德尼羅和他的妻子

both got this look in their face of hate.

都有這種恨鐵不成鋼的表情。

It was that -- 10 years later.

就是這樣--10年後。

-Wow! -The guy's traveled the world

-哇！-這傢伙走遍了世界

eight times since then probably,

八次以來，大概。

and it still brought an ugly energy to both of them.

而且還是給他們兩個人帶來了一種醜陋的能量。

That's how bad it was. -What was so bad about it?

這就是它的糟糕之處。-有什麼不好的？

-I just went up there, and I was planning on --

-我剛剛去了那裡，我打算... ...

you know, I had this big plan.

你知道，我有這個大計劃。

She just told me to go up and do an impression

她只是叫我上去印個像而已

of De Niro and leave.

的德尼羅和離開。

But I was like Ralph Kramden.

但我就像拉爾夫-克拉姆登一樣。

"No, I'll do more than that."

"不，我會做得更多。"

And she's like, "Alright.

她說，"好吧。

I mean, he knows what he's doing. He's a comedian."

我的意思是，他知道他在做什麼。他是一個喜劇演員。"

-"We're not asking for more." -I don't know what I'm doing.

-"我們不要求更多"-我不知道我在做什麼。

Yeah. I was roasting him.

是的，我在烤他

The crowd didn't know -- I told her, "Don't intro me,"

民眾不知道 -- 我告訴她，"不要介紹我，"

which is another amateur mistake.

這又是一個業餘的錯誤。

Nobody knows who I am. -No introduction.

沒有人知道我是誰-沒人知道我是誰

-I go up and I start trashing him,

-我上去就開始砸他。

making roast jokes, and people are like --

讓烤肉笑話， 和人們都喜歡 -

They're in the middle of dinner, Jimmy.

他們正在吃晚飯，吉米。

It's not even dark out. It's light out.

天還沒黑呢 It's not even dark out.它的光了。

So everybody's there.

所以大家都在那裡。

So Robin Williams -- I leave soaked in shame at the end.

所以，羅賓-威廉姆斯--我最後羞愧地離開。

I'm walking outside, but it was slightly raining,

我在外面走著，卻下起了小雨。

and I had this shirt, like, this new cashmere shirt on a hanger.

我有這件襯衫，像， 這一新的羊絨衫在衣架上。

I had another show that night,

當天晚上我還有一個節目。

so I had a shirt, and Robin Williams comes out.

所以我有一件襯衫， 和羅賓・威廉姆斯出來。

He's, like, commiserating with me,

他就像在同情我一樣。

and I go, "I just don't know."

我走了，"我只是不知道。"

And I gesture, and my shirt flies off the hanger

我打了個手勢，我的襯衫就從衣架上飛了下來。

into a puddle and a cab runs it over in the rain.

成一個水坑，計程車在雨中把它碾死。

Robin Williams couldn't stop laughing.

羅賓-威廉姆斯笑得合不攏嘴。

I just walked away. I didn't even say another word.

我只是走開了。我連一句話也沒說。

I just left. I saw him like two years later.

我剛剛離開。我看到他像兩年後。

-That's the best.

-那是最好的

Talk about the worst gig. It just got worse.

談到最糟糕的演出。它只是變得更糟。

Oh, my God. That's perfect. -It was brutal.

哦，我的上帝。太完美了-太殘忍了

-But I love that he's there to laugh. I love that comic.

-但我喜歡他在那裡笑。我喜歡那本漫畫。

You need a comedian. -Thank God he was -- Yes.

你需要一個喜劇演員-謝天謝地，他是...

He understood.

他明白了。

In fact, he said his wife was going, "Help him."

事實上，他說他的妻子是去，"幫助他"。

He goes, "No, he doesn't want me to help him."

他說："不，他不想讓我幫他。"

-Well, I want to show a clip of your special.

-好吧，我想播放一段你的特別節目。

This is "Colin Quinn & Friends: A Parking Lot Comedy Show."

這是 "科林-奎恩和朋友們：一個停車場的喜劇表演。"

Take a look at this clip.

看看這個片段。

-You've never done a show with all cars, right?

-你從來沒有做過所有車的展覽，對嗎？

-Not really, no.

-不是，不是

-I'm just wondering how it's going to work.

-我只是想知道它是如何工作的。

-Oh, yeah, boss, we got to talk to you about the instructions.

-哦，是的，老闆，我們要和你談談訓示的問題。

So when you come out, a guy is gonna change the microphone.

所以，當你出來的時候，一個人是要去改變麥克風。

He might be changing it while you're on stage doing the act.

他可能會在你上臺表演的時候改變它。

-What the [bleep]? What are you talking about?

-搞什麼鬼？你在說什麼？

-The guy's gonna be on stage. -As I'm talking?

-他要上臺了。-在我說話的時候？

Safety first, they say, with this COVID.

他們說，安全第一，有了這個COVID。

Thank you for cleaning this off.

謝謝你把這個清理掉。

Listen, you're a big name.

聽著，你是個大人物。

And after this, believe me, you're going to be able

而在這之後，相信我，你將能夠。

to do rooftops.

到天台。

You're going to be able to do [bleep] driveways.

你要能做到[嗶]車道。

Do you know how many -- Parking garages.

你知道有多少... 停車庫。

It's not going to end for you.

你不會結束的。

-We got a big treehouse show coming up.

-我們有一個大型的樹屋表演即將到來。

-Yes.

-是的