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I gotta talk to the people of America for a second
if it's all right. All right.
Because this is a pretty interesting stuff.
I wanna talk about here at the top of the show.
You folks may not know this
but all throughout Europe
there are late night talk shows
which are by and large imitations of American talk shows.
This is a sprung up in the last couple of years-
Yeah, when I've been on vacation over there
It's amazing how close some of them are
to talk shows here. To talk shows here.
Yeah. Yeah, It's pretty cool.
Well recently, I was invited to fly to Cologne, Germany
to appear on the Harald Schmidt Show.
(audience laughing)
This is honest to God.
This is true.
He is known as the David Letterman of Germany
and he borrows a lot of stuff from David Letterman.
And he borrowed some stuff from our show
which is a high compliment.
And anyway, I had heard about this show
and when I got the invitation
I was intrigued.
So I decided to fly to Germany appear on the show
and see all the sights of Cologne
'cause I've never been there.
And we of course brought a camera crew.
We filmed the whole thing
and we're gonna show it to you right now
because it's pretty interesting what happened.
We hope you enjoy.
(bright music)
I've heard that my fans in Europe
can be a little overzealous.
So while I'm here and NBC has assigned me a bodyguard.
This is Barn and he's gonna pretty much make sure that
you know everyone keeps their distance.
(audience laughing)
(bright music)
We're in the basement of a beer hall
and this thing is pretty interesting.
It's designed just for people that need to vomit.
There's a handle on either side
and in here and there's a nice wide space
to accommodate cone vomit.
(mumbles)
You vomit, you move away.
These lights sensors flush the vomit
and then you go upstairs to drink some more, (mumbles)
(audience laughing and clapping)
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
It's bunch of Germans in the next car.
I'm gonna guess that their names are Frieda
Chelsea, Ceaser and Lao Slimeslaw.
By the way it's a matter of minutes
before I'm beaten to death.
This is the thing to do if you're in Cologne.
Is ride on the cable car.
I think that's why most teenagers here shoot themselves
(audience laughing)
around the age of 17.
The city of Cologne is a medieval city.
It's been around for a long time.
The initial name for the city wasn't Cologne,
it was Afterashaven
(audience laughing)
But they changed it
and they didn't think it had a nice (mumbles).
This is the Cologne Cathedral.
It's the world's largest Gothic cathedral.
It's 750 years old, and it is absolutely breathtaking.
Is this funny?
[Man] No.
Let's get the hell out of here then.
Come on let's go.
(bright music)
Have you ever watched my show here?
It's on- Every night.
You watch it every night?
Yes, we tape it
then we watch it till the next morning.
And you enjoy it? Absolutely.
We've noticed that
there are some comedy bits on this show
that seems similar to comedy bits on our show.
Have you ever noticed that?
Yeah. You've have?
Mmh. Thanks for coming.
Yeah, thanks for being here.
(crowd clapping and cheering)
So, hello there, Michael?
Hey there Conan
The King of Pop, hello Michael Jackson.
(mumbles) hello Sir, I love you.
Then you can have a lawyer present if you want.
There's no, no..
I believe I believe that..
No, no I believe that it's nice
for people to exchange ideas, you know,
happy that the desk drive we've seen Harald drive the desk.
No sometimes he--
And that was part of independently.
The lips, the moving lips probably independent,
not a big deal.
Listen, I want $600,000 before I leave here.
I'm (mumbles) you understand?
600 mmh Yeah.
Yeah. Could you talk to somebody.
No.
Hey, O'Brian, how are you?
Hey, very nice to meet you.
Pleased to meet you.
Thanks thanks for having me.
No, thanks for coming.
But tell me, how was your first season?
It wasn't horrible I read, I mean, mine was hell.
So ours went very smoothly.
(people laughing)
Why is everyone laughing
and we have a good show tonight.
I hope so, I have two wonderful guests
Really and then coming on third?
How does it work?
(people laughing)
(bright music)
[Announcer] (mumbles) capital in Cologne
Die Harald Schmidt Show.
(mumbles) late nights superstar Conan O'Brian.
(bright music)
(audience clapping and cheering)
(upbeat music)
[Conan] Here I was, walking out
on to Germany's number one, top show.
I felt great.
Maybe it was the exact duplicate
of the Letterman set that made me feel so at home.
(audience clapping and laughing)
(mumbles) welcome to Cologne.
Thank you very much.
Okay, great.
[Conan] This is fantastic.
As I launched into some of my oldest stairless routines,
I began to wish I could have just a little more fun
in Germany before my trip was over.
Then I remembered something Harald had told me
just before the show.
You know, that Cologne is the world's capital gay
number one.
Really? Yes, absolutely.
Well then I'm gay.
I'll try that.
I just wanna have a good time.
I don't care who it's with.
Yeah. I just wanna enjoy myself.
(upbeat music)
(audience laughing and cheering)
I had a good time (mumbles)
Gay number one, Cologne capital gay number one.
That was a lot of fun though.
They're writers are nice people and everything we had.
We had a good time over there.
It's amazing though.
You walk out on that set
and I've done the Letterman show a few times.
It is the exact, they have it down to a science.
Really cool.
Well that was good to know.
Yeah. Well now people know.
I was hurt that they weren't copying our set.
(both laughing)
The big pillow thing on the wall.
The Germans would have none of it.
No, no. No, they were disgusted.
All right.
Wanna take a little break ladies and gentlemen,
and we've got an amazing show lined up for you
when we come back.