the new movie "Archenemy,"

which is theaters, on demand, and on digital next Friday.

Here is Joe Manganiello!

Yo! Wow!

-Hey, Jim. -Lookin' good, bud.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Is that...

Is that real? No more... -This is real.

This is freshly shaved as of this morning.

-Wow! -Yeah.

-No more Mohawk. -No more Mohawk.

But it's amazing how much --

Like, a Mohawk is that much hair.

But you take it off, and you're freezing.

-Joe, what am I see in the corner of the screen?

Is there a special guest? -[ Chuckles ] Yeah.

This is my sidekick. -Yes!

-This is -- This is -- -Oh, no!

This is -- This is Bubbles.

-Bubbles. Hi, Bubbles.

Thank you so much for coming on the show.

I appreciate it. Oh, my gosh. -[ Chuckles ]

-How cute is that. Oh, my God. -This is Bubbles'

first appearance on "The Tonight Show."

-And will not be her last.

So, Bubbles, you're allowed back whenever.

-[ Chuckles ]

-Joe, there's a ton of stuff I want to talk to you about,

But, first, congrats. I know you just celebrated

your five-year wedding anniversary

with your lovely wife, Sofía Vergara.

Congrats on that.

We've talked before about how you and Sofía started dating.

But you -- were you always smooth when it came to dating?

Because I want to know about this guy.

This... -That guy -- not so smooth

with the dating, Jimmy. Yeah, not so smooth.

-Look at the arms, bud. Oh, my gosh.

-Mm-hmm. -Dude, when did it change?

[ Both laugh ]

-It changed around age 16.

Then, I got contact lenses,

and the working out was starting to happen.

All the protein shakes were starting to take effect.

And I also -- I got a phone call from a friend of mine,

who said, you know, "How'd you like to make 25 bucks an hour?"

At age 16, you say, "Sure. What do I have to do?"

They said, "Just come down to our office.

Whatever anybody says to you,

what they ask, just say you're 21."

And I didn't have a license at this time,

so I had to have my mother come drop me off at their office.

And there was a bunch of adults, and they said --

you know, I walked in, they said, "You're the guy?"

I said, "Yeah." They said, "How old are you?"

I said, "21." They go, "Great. Put this on."

And they handed me this pirate suit,

with the cape and the eye patch and the wig and the ruffles,

the hat, I had a sword.

I had a pistola.

The little fake booties that go over your shoes

to make them look like they're real boots.

-Yeah. What were you? -And I was gonna go

be Captain Morgan at a bunch of bars in Pittsburgh.

-Wow!

-And they gave me a backpack that was a tank

with a tap on it, full of rum. -[ Laughing ] Oh, my God.

-So I went -- -Do you still have that?

-Go get everyone drunk. -[ Laughing ] Oh, my God.

-So, that led to, like,

you know, probably the next decade,

I worked in bars. You know, that's how I worked

until, like, acting took off

where I could pay my bills that way as an artist.

I was working in clubs, and so, like,

that Captain Morgan job, then, when I was 21 --

I worked as Captain Morgan in Pittsburgh from 16 to 21.

And then, when I was 21,

I got a job working for Finlandia vodka,

where I would go out U2's old tour bus full of vodka.

We would drive to every major city in America.

I was in a tuxedo this time. It was a little classier.

-Yeah, you upped your game. -Get everybody drunk.

So it was, like, just nonstop wall-to-wall bar jump.

But what the point is, circling back, is

that that was the best education in men and women and dating.

When you are in a club, night after night,

watching the animals hunt in the wild...

-Wow. -...you learn a lot.

So that scrawny kid really got his formal education

in women and men and dating and all that.

-And look at you now. I mean, come on.

I mean, we know you as this giant movie star.

And I know that, growing up, wasn't your original dream

to also be a writer and director?

-Well, yeah, as a kid,

that's actually how I got into acting.

I made all my own movies,

where you do, like, Mafia martial arts movies...

with, like, gunshots and, you know, squib.

We made homemade squibs when we were kids.

-You made a homemade squib, like a blood-explosion squib?

-Yeah, so, we would take a firecracker,

and then you'd take a condom and you'd fill the condom

with Karo syrup and red food coloring.

You tie it up. And you get a cookie tin.

And you could, like -- If you got really brave,

you'd put the cookie tin, like, over your heart.

So we'd cut the shirt a little bit,

so the wick would come out.

And then you had to turn the camera on someone's hand.

They had to come in and light the lighter, the wick,

and then get your hand out so that we could get the shot.

"Oh!" You know, and you'd fall over

and, you know, have this flap of skin,

and blood would gush out everywhere.

-Joe, that was probably a real flap of real skin.

You lit a firecracker on someone's chest.

-It was -- -[ Laughing ] Oh, my God.

-Yeah, it was painful, yeah. -Oh, my gosh.

That is unbelievable. Uh, uh, I, uh --

I want to talk about your new movie.

It's called "Archenemy." And I love the premise.

I've never seen a movie like this.

I would say it's a superhero movie.

But it's more than a superhero movie.

It's -- It's a trickier plot.

Basically -- DO you want me to set it up?

You basically land on a planet.

And you're like, "On Earth, I'm a superhero."

-Well, maybe. You don't know. -Right.

-That's the thing, is, like, everything that you just said

is absolutely true, you know, but, you know,

is it a superhero movie, or is it not?

Because, really, the bulk of it is,

I play a maybe borderline schizophrenic character

who's also addicted to methamphetamine and alcohol

and lives in a tent under a bridge

and babbles on and on and on

to anybody who will listen to him

about being some sort of champion

or Superman, superhero from another dimension.

So, really, is an exploration about whether or not

he's crazy, or is it actually true.

-Again, I don't like to spoil anything, but it's great.

And I want to show everyone a clip.

Here's Joe Manganiello in "Archenemy."

Take a look.

-You cannot run.

Hey, I don't care what you do.

You make bad choices, you live with them.

It's fine, but the kid deserves his own chance.

If you run, they will find you, and they will kill him.

-So, what are we supposed to do?

-You stay and you fight the war.

-Hamster, don't engage with the troll.

-Fight the war? -[ Scoffs ]

-How are we supposed to do that?

-Don't undersell yourself.

I'm here with you.

I fell through a black hole to get here.

And I never knew why until now.

It was so I could help you.

Both of you.

♪♪

-Aww. What did you think, buddy? Oh, he loved it.

[ Chuckling ] He loved it.

Joe Manganiello, everybody.

"Archenemy" is in theaters, on demand, and on digital,

starting December 11th.

Thank you so much for coming on, bud.

It's always great to see you. -Hey, man, thank you so much.

I love being here. It's so great.

I have so much fun with you. -Stay safe.