Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles Oh my god honey... Where do I begin explaining? This thing... Well... You know what? You know Mark, right? That friend that I go bowling with. like 2 times a week Well uh... I guess the easy way to start will be starting with him after we go bowling we used to go to see movies There was one time When was that? Yeah.. Seems like a month ago We went to see like one movie in particular . What was that? That's right! That was captain America: the Winter Soldier Oh my God! That was a movie I haven't seen that kind of that good of a Marvel movie in ages. I mean that must been it must been since the Avengers. I'm like... Well... you know like right now she's a cliner She means a lot for us every now and then. like you know... Potentially anything will happen. Potentially a meteorite can fall down right now you know. That's like a cosmic level of imagination. And but potentially you know who knows? Maybe one day should devise something. I remember watching a movie. One documentary. There is a scientist in the USA He's called Red Curzvill. And he has this idea about ... what should I call it? Singularity. It's called singularity. And he's thinking the basic you know all this technology is expanding and advancing so rapidly you know. 3D graphics for this s*** like in the 1990s. And now we just basically used that and we looking forward to like new ideas like 3D or something like that you know. We improving that as well. Now right now If you look at the movie from like the beginning of the 1990s that used like 3D graphic It looks pretty much s*** And I remember you know people use to go to cinema watch that That would be like "oh my god! this is unbelievable!" " it looks so good!" Now you look at it and it looks like crap. just because of you know... comparison I mean you compare to the things that are out now that is so much better. And... I don't know... It's just things changed you know. Red Curzvill has this idea about singularity. you know technology advancing up to this point that we actually sort of like become machines in a way like you know technology keeps going like 50 years ago computers is used to be like super big you know Like the computer be use to send like first recons to the space used to be thatcomputer was the size of this whole room you know Nowadays you have more advanced technology in your own cell phone So technically if you are able to do it you could probably organize you know a space shuttle to be launched to outer space with the use of technology in any form I mean just in certification So that makes you thinking you know Going forward. Technology is getting smaller. Before that it's like whole room of computers and nothing else Right now you have a small smartphone you know that fix into your pocket perfectly So... you know whose saying I heard things about people experimenting with chips that chips this size that you can put into your skin And like you know maybe that'll be used for the quick machines so that you don't have to get your passport. cause passport is inside of you all the time And... you know... if it comes to that it would stop people from you know liking creating like for example you don't have to carry up cellphone on you You just have this chip you know and it does anything for you I mean like you know you can like basically go to Wikipedia go to Facebook without even touching anything you know just gets the feeling you know I mean it does have the point when one of these days somebody is going to discover it and who knows who's going to be you know maybe it's going to be something maybe it's gonna be someone who known as a scientist maybe it's going to be somebody so somebody who nobody really knows maybe he is gonna be cleaner or flawers you know It's uh ... It's just things that help people work and how you know you can never really predict another thing or judging people you can never predict who's gonna be how much potential people have you know You can like you know I'm sure the people you know from elementary school You know it's always about people like totally can't fit in with society or something like that and like you know the losers basic you know I'm sure these some of them have like a good jobs or stuff you know maybe somebody have their own company maybe somebody's a famous actor maybe somebody... is a scientist you know so... you know... with these ideas interesting things like you know how Technology for example is improving us you know but that goes as if... a lot of different fields of life you know goes also with music in the creating new new ideas new music and movies literature art Everything is going forward Interesting world to be in. Don't you think? so... uh... Well... we were all born in now I mean the world we were born into is like completely different What's like completely different? Nowadays you have children being born into a world where you know They don't really know other world has internet we used to know that That changed over time So just imagine you know it is like what not even 30 years since we were born So imagine what's going to happen in the next 30 years imaging what the world is gonna look like when we are like you know old people in like 70 or 80 or 90 maybe even something like that That's gonna be way way in 21 century And you know just I gess we just have to find out Who knows? hey maybe I will invent something cool maybe I would invent something cool how do you get the feel of bald people I mean you know you get like not totally bald you know I don't be like you don't know hair whatsoever I mean like balding people ike you know sometimes you get people who I mean of course it's going to happen to everybody eventually especially guys mostly guys he get you know this whole here What is that called? ...or something I can't pretty remember anyway hum... you know how you get this balding men you know I... Mark knows one guy He is a boss of this one company and he's like uh... he's like 45 or something like that His hair is really reseeding and he gets like you know he looks like that the Japanese Kappa thing It's what they like to called that I mean that's really wrong you know I mean when they have like uh... really bald hair here but they still have hairs here and It looks like Kappa you know or something like that I think before he really bald that's really inappropriate but whatever It's a free country I can think what I think umm but somethings you get these people who like you know like most of the hair on the top of the head is gone but they still have a little bit of hair here and they try to grow hair really long so then they can take it like to the other side you know so it's like covering the bald top of his hair I think it's really hilarious I mean because... oh come on who are they fooling? Everybody can see it Everybody can see that basically your head is bald and you only covering it up with like the small amount of hair you still have that might be that inspiration that might be like some kind of middle age crisis or something I know it's easy for me to say cause of basically you know I am uh... still in my 20's Lately but still so... I still have some time to go before that happens to me but there is no way in hell I'm gonna do something like that it's like you know who are you fooling? you ain't fooling Anybody? man... is it why would you even why would you even do that? if you wanna have hair to cover your balding head you getta to pay or something like right that doesn't cost too much Especially if you are a boss of a f****** company You definitely have the money like... Of cause you know with modern day technology you can even get hair implant, right? I'm sure you can afford it if you are a boss of a company then that shouldn't be a problem for you right? seems they just up to do that really...Gesus... I mean I can't stop but laughing and so many things you can do if you know hair styles I mean come on get all of this guy you know I mean... he looks like a ... this guy on the cover of this book he looks like a real slut I don't give a f*** about anything deal with it Yo And like you is every sort of it you know this is the kind of hairstyle that I like to call this is how I woke up this morning I mean that's really cool I know I haven't done that before oh ok technically sometimes when I had to rush the work then I do't really have time to do anything about my hair and... sometimes I just wear a cap and I think it's cool I think that's nature and you know I know you women know so much about the appearances and you have to keep your hair nice and tidy all the time enough Fortunately as men we don't have to do that at all we can do whatever we want and still cool we don't have to put up make up we don't have to put up lipstick we don't have to put up nail polish none of these s*** pure natural yo so anyway but...you know it's kind of if any of you have a balding head you can still do a lot of interesting things about your facial appearance you know like umm... you know that the TV seasons I've been watching pretty reasonly Breaking Bad oh my god that was the awesome TV show I get Walter White the main character yes cancer and he's rapidly losing his hair and he decides to like you know hell I'm going to lose it a lot of it anyway so why even bother wife you know come down the time I'm going to shave it all anyway you know and there's interesting thing about this serious it's that like you know actually even that kind of like uh... facial appearance you know the hair and these beard keeps changing as he keeps changing and like you know he is like I mean he can get that for the title Breaking Bad turning into a badass or the character the main character Walter White is turning into a badass you know so he is like you know he's still got his glasses this season of course but uh... you know he gets this like mother f****** and awesome beard you know it's really full beard it's red beard like you know like Viking's beard or something like that you know and it's like you know in the beginning when you look at him he just said what the f****** pussy it just is oh my god you know this guy is a loser if I have ever saw one for the end of this TV series you know I don't need the serious or anything like He's a mental broken nevermind like before that when he's like on the top of his shape you know on the top of his like power or influence He's got really mother f*** thick this here and here you know it's pretty feak and this is you know and he also like uh... it's also kind of they really arrange into a nice way so it's like really fits into his character and of course that's also like that's also true in television that's like how it works well...so you know I just think that like uh... your facial like features you know your hair too or your like facial hair that kind of express in a way of what kind of person you are I mean if you are slut you don't do anything about it you just shows you know if you care about your appearance and you know you do something it's kind of expresses what kind of person you are in a way of course you know there's more to that there's more to all of it than just the way you look or the way you dress of course you know you can't have somebody who's like really ugly but then you find out that they are actually like a genius or something or they are really interesting people it's like you know it's some of the requirements you don't have to look cool to be cool I mean it's intertwining that all but it's it's not necessity but you know all of people like to you know be like free salamander and this regards people who are fat or ugly or something like that they don't care about them you know that's when it comes to me I like to give them a not even a second chance you know it's just I like to judge people by who they are you know like every conversation with people not just like ok asshole asshole asshole go away asshole asshole go away asshole asshole go away ok you are the only one can stay asshole asshole go away useless so shallow comes down to be shallow ok but we come back to that stuff about those bald man with like you know the kind of hair you know covering up It's just a... I don't know it is just a sloppy way and if we talk about company bosses in general you know I've met quite a lot I've heard quite a lot both from my friends and you know from my personal experiences I 've seen that I mean of course you know there is like Nowadays since we got to approach like you know okay big companies are evil stuff like that I mean that's not really that easy to I mean it's it's not so easy to just the situation overall isn't that we shouldn't be so quick to judge it that's what I mean its a still I mean so you of course you get the good boss you get bad bosses you get the good teachers you get bad teachers you get uh... people who ain't people who are asshole you know but this like you know you met several kind of I mean that to get into stereotype or anything like that but I can see after meeting some bosses some companies I can sort of see like umm... maybe not like stereotype but sort of like pattern to like all the behave and like what they want to present themselves and it's all about I mean not all of them of course but like people I'm talking about this particular kind of boss so to speak they like what they care about most it's face on you and then it's like of course you know you like you're in charge you have to operate a company you have a lot of people working for you of course it's a responsibility you can't just be a you know you can't show them that you are week because like basically you are the foundation of this company It's like you are the route you take up the rules you dies you know ummm that's that's another thing you know people like to bash riches people all like bosses of big company for being asshole you know something like that but uh... or they just find out they earned a lot of money order that the justified in the Arnot mine you know if you think that the way it works why don't you open up a company by yourself? seriously waht stopping you? It've been so easy you know all that doing using it and they keep earning money for nothing if you keep saying why don't you open up a company for yourself? do it then you wait the the kind wasn't trying to I mean Bosses that really about this particular kind of boss and It's like about your know face and of course that there's different kinds of boss but this one in particular is like the kind of boss that how to say it put that into words they are like they have to be the number one star of the company you know I used to work for this company sometime ago and and this is like International Exhibition you know like I could see that this is based in Asia and I was like you know the only foreigner worker working in this company and a lot of people you from all over the world you know they basically like you know Asian It wasn't Asian sport was being in this Exhibition like you know a European a European sports will be in the exhibition hall you have a European spot you had like a Middle Eastern spots near the Asian spot and they like you know people they are generally customers they walk around and there like in the Asian area you know when they walk around they like you know this all the stuff Asian Asian Asian I mean when they look at the people staring you know none of this anything will be Asian of course you know like pointed of course everybody was there are you know who they are what was that I was just in the boof and was like they were expecting a white guy to be there and they like interested in me and they just wanted to or maybe they are just interested in the products almost the products I have to admit that the product for good and but they like you know they like okay this I wasn't expecting this I wasn't expecting why did I to be here? for any particular reason or anything and then they just walked up and you know and they were like how come you were here you know just like certain circumstance you know and that knid of boss was like holy s*** I kind of don't know what he is thinking but he looked kind of upset you know It was like I don't know I can imagine that in his mind this way what the hell you know like spotlights should be on our products won't me so why is this like you know why is this white a****** taken over the spotlight you know how come he is just a nobody in this company so what the f*** you know and then I gotta give a s*** in the hood I've heard stories from other people who got kind of s*** as well you know and like even and like you know go to a party with this company and and that's like you know that there's some like international customer seocial journey or some other random people you know and like especially unusual that I'm there you know that's kind of attention for that but people who want to talk with me always stock you know I talk to people so you know but the people keep talking to you people start a conversation with me they wanna talk with me and this guy is like getting directions to live I talk to them like you know oh I have this friend who like you know I had a friend to came and actually she said that was a friend and he actually he was on TV one time because there was like there was some events or holidays there was someone that was filmimg stuff and he was thereon TV the boss was like oh well you know I'm on TV like almost every other weekend you know so think of that you know what the f*** are you comparing yourself Jesus It's like I don't know they have like small dicks or something what kind of problem is that dude you have a company why do you have to do you have anything to worried about yourself or just you know I don't know social status Poor things of face of value I mean I don't know I just never want to be famous or anything like that I'm not asking for it maybe somebody does they are free to do so you know but just this way of pushing other people giving other people shit about I mean there is not my fault that there's anything people can talk to me just like you know they are being nice Imean nice yeah but you should be asking or be just if the people wanna talk with me and they don't wanna talk to you maybe they've know you already and like you know I'm in this company like you know only nobody kind the guy you know you are the boss you know so Jesus you give a work like shit about something like that but it just like I don't know can't really understand you know so you can cut of light in so many ways other ways I don't know maybe I make up a big boss that's a big step you know they would find out that would be you know maybe oneday I would open up my own company on my will but you know still you know you go easily say something like yeah ok we have this guy in our company you know so the costumer could think like like holy s*** this guy is like pretty cool and he's working for this company then ergo the company must be awesome but instead like you know behind the scene like you know okay I'm going to put on a smile to make customers happy and they would like to give you like nothing something I even do useless not one again I don't want to get in the territory when I'm judging people and it's not about that I I like to see people for who they are and not just if you ask appearences can really be really I mean you know like a lot of people or maybe they are not but theres there's some people I know and I'm sure there's a lot of people like that who like to judge people from first of view like you know maybe thay meet somebody at the party and maybe that person wasm't like trying to socialize and talk a lot or maybe they just don't want to be there come on everybody has their bad days like everybody you know Jesus maybe maybe you get fired from work maybe I don't know you got extra bills to pay like maybe the police you don't want to I don't know it's just you know so many circumstances that could possibly happen and like why judging you why judge at this person If I saw somebody for the second third fourth time you know I will If you like have a good conversation or good hang out then I can say I got the general like impression of what this person is like maybe I understand that quite a lot maybe you know I've heard seeing somebody like that before and I can sort of umm I can sort of like you know compare the dislike sort of the same kind of person then I get nobody is actually like 100% the same with somebody else you know that's like waht over 6 billion people living in the world everybody is living their own life but you know give them second chance this might be in person there's good people and bad people and yeah I mean like especially like with in western societies I'm going to talk about the politics and economics honey it's a there is the thing like in western society is like like western part of Europe when I get to that what's the western part like America there's like pretty big passion going on about capitalism I know this are pretty tough subject but you know they just said like you know the source of all evil in the world right now is huge corporations and money and controlling everything like the banks of all that of course you know gotta interesting that I've been coming from Poland you know I really gotta say that okay I have to make a point They usually said that they like okay capitalism is the best way to go and socialism is a good way to go I come from Poland our country was forced into socialism and communism by extension for 50 years and you know exactly what that means and like you know there is a reason why Polish workers are going to England to work right now 2 million people that has a 22 million unlike you say like UK that's okay okay they do that because I'm talking with like a person from the UK in London you know because Poland is Poland and like okay west UK poor and the west Poland is poor Because it's just that people think like a score of the heat looking to Siri socialism and go back to marks and stuff like that it's like a perfect world except when is perfect and okay I should ever say perfect world parents assist because uh everybody should have the same amount of everything because we are all equal except we are not I'm tall this guy is short Im sure this guy is tall and this guy is fat im a guy woman difference is enough secant just say that you know you want to to be like this and Latin God different people have different opinions like I said before the 6 million people a billion people living in this world how can you say that everybody is the same they just not different people have different needs some people like to work hard on NSU something important some people don't some people feel that you know living with the right now is it going to go anywhere I have a good job even if I'm walking effective and affective that's good for me what somebody says like okay I come from a crappy family never had anything I want to get something you know someone don't have something as well for example I don't want you know when I was growing up with bands that have enough money to buy Lakewood shoes for men they are the Dyson so Im gonna wake Im gonna like make sure that my whole life is about improving my status bar financial and social so might have to do this kind of problems you know for example so I can like I mean maybe we'll adjust ready for socialism or maybe you just need to be robot something like that it just like looking at the Eastern Bloc Russia with controlling Poland you know we didn't push for ot but we can't do anything else after World War 2 and Germany and Russia did the guarantee what could we do like nothing nobody can't save it England were our allies with a castle f*** is guys they are like with a castle f*** is guys they are not doing anything France just like they gave up Germany get affence and t hey give up and the story I mean of course small complicated but basically the goodness of support so now the hanging in there supposed to getting better but the politics is a pretty touchy subject to talk about well I know as open for conversation about this that's be kinda interesting I have my opinions I like to talk about this no problem uh so that basically the whole socialism vs capitalism things I don't know is there a good like a middle ground between those two I don't know just I mean just don't like it when people say that's like in the capital is it is definitely the evil and socialism is definite the good you know This like black and white turns because if you look at the shape of the world right now um juh let's see all the countries that have adopted communism before where are they now oh most of them doesn't exist anymore Russia doesn't exist USSR like you know whatever happened to Cuba like you know that right now does anything rhyme with Cuba Cuba but still there have that holds the coils of the day been a principal contract null and Michael K Augusta from coming this country is left in the world like this career for example would you like to go there really you know if you think it's paradise by all means go and live of common is it for you if you talk about Asia you know you can talk aboutwhat they want and that they won the Allies what should I called it? Asia type right? Taiwan Hong Kong Singapore and the other one anyway well you know if you look at the economic rate right now all over 10% of economic crisis yeah so you know you can drop a person they decide they have tough times as well like you know if you look back several decades ago they were until you miss her anything but they decided they make you know the felt like Tyson and stuff like that and now you can see the results list of countries in the developed rapidly they are like you know look back to all these stuff card category which countries are in the developing category which countries are in the developing category which countries are in the underdeveloped category like for example Taiwan Korea they are all developed country what to do European for example because they've been saying about social policies and stuff like that I mean eminencia result of good things about them you know but still owe the score right now most of Europe is a girl if you work at the end of the world right is that 0% or you know what's more the stupid things everybody's like wow great we are making progress the other part of the world like you know how can you compare like that decades or not everybody got their opinions let's do you have to be stalking your own little point of view you can look outside at the countries of Twin City collision before another day or you can look at that swearing on good position and now you are in shitty position every year It's European counteries basic bankrupt or bankrupt Portugal island is next on the list why is going to happen well I don't know Germany right now is basically controlling Europe Europe has much influence and you know still there economic crisis what 1% or 2% of most so here we go the strongest country in Europe sorry but you guys are doing something wrong well honey I still have a little confession to make I mean you know really haven't been having a lot of fun recently and by far I you know what I mean right? fun fun I mean fun I mean sex time yeah do you get that same kind of impression cause I shall do I mean you know to be old butterfly and before when we start it out even hell like up to last part of last year It's still going on pretty descent kinda have no I somehow especially recently Im not being I don't blame you don't maybe it's my fault maybe it's yours I mean we used have so much fun as I remember you remember how I you used to be so energetic and stuff and used to be so reative you know stuff like that used to be really fun you know I mean but nowaday it's just you know if there's any chance that we can somehow kind of you know go back to so maybe it's my fault maybe I'm not getting you enough attention maybe you know it's like you know the thing you think about this is also have something to do with just not have that kind of chemistry anymore you know we used to understand each other so perfectly even on the bed I have to say even on the bed nowadays it's just like just don't know if I'm not just satisfying you enough or if you're used to something or maybe I need to find something new so I feel alive again or something like that you know like The party places in the ballet place It's perfect opportunity to have a lot of fun and Justin who is the temperature in Italy show you the opportunity now remember what the issue of John and his girlfriend did don't you kind of walk remember you like I know what I mean you probably happen to one of the weld a kind of fly to use them for stimulation I mean nothing they were eating in icing good was getting into say something blue something under the influence of no idea I have no idea I have no idea anyway that any way home I got it was a pretty f****** a sobriety mean 17 oz in a dog does semen stain dose kinds of States to Sweden to wash apples Betsy's death gotta gotta yeah that's part of the lights let's lot of fun deep for the people over still have fun indeeed like people a world most of the people haven't seen for a long time and wants to see for quite a while was something delete like to place my brother in law after they cut oats they do music too after that they got totally drunk and regular people go over the steering wheel Marks as in the computer azan YouTube music still you know wise enough to play usually what's the meaning of this anything anything goes Indiana fixed it just our place looks like to go to Mr Frank Garvey got the cleaning in the day and the next day hooray hooray for Filipino workers who didn't give us a bad for this woman is basic the Werehog over with the hanging out like Jeffrey people that decided to decide to sleep over and they decide to leave much early and in the end we were drinking as soon as a screening of Oakleys up and I was like okay well I know I'm paying your last pill of the month and I would have to pay you in Miami when does the stand in their own country you know I would be to keep up the whole you know map it mean you know Margo does freedom over and you know everybody loves them but still you know the they are pretty infamous good for causing a huge mess fortunately mean for sending out an abortion control cool Cologne in the living room then the song home magic me follow me the way to work themselves out to the rooftop the beginning you remember how much 6300 review haven't seen that well I said that you know it was basically a landmine field of that offer by herself so well I would like to have the same job after the happiest vagina have right now but then you know suppose one who are the judges they want to be of the one to be except maybe is it going to have a choice of the Lycans banished to being a sitting position that I saw the time I mean you know factory jobs what sign new people who didn't play with working that would be cool I wouldn't but It's just my opinion for forgiveness from Stockton that would be cool I would never like to be a cleaner just may be like that can your boat NC buy from that makes me thinking about whole that stuff like see destiny even maybe like you know if you are born into like a poor family and you don't forget much is a caisson and like does the point imagine the situation when you stuck in one point in your life and you don't really have any possibilities of progressing nothing was the night I don't really know our cleaner that much but you know she I don't know Im just wondering but the headlights of a choice in her life and she f***** a dog that use Google Voice has right now and it's fine or maybe she can for volume for family and she never really had is the possibility to go anywhere further so different situations but what does human potential like you know the potentials to do something great for Humanity of course I'm in it comes out what does incineration define stylist like no known everywhere in the world for being the genius scientist before he was born nobody can say like in OK businesses in every kiss every newborn could look the same Nike stinky smelling like if you would become a genius innocent people do some people dont and some people do spontaneously some people just like the smart guy guy for example you know the guy who invented Facebook he's a he's not even 30 you know and he just came out into this ideas that like revolution like communication system if you use to I mean come on right now I mean everybody I mean everybody everybody in the civil life was like Facebook you know this guy came up with his idea because he was in the movie 2 of course pretty good movie sexy n 900 Soundtrack so that some you look up for listening to this day and well you know he just came up with this idea you know social sync between students in his university and then you know it just gets picked up and like you know and listen to this is like that people have sex with Eve realize whole idea that this is something that people have actually wanted like even if if they realize you know but they didn't they still like kind of everybody use facebook these days so easy to communicate with your friends no matter where you are interacting with customers shaking like can Formica rich family or something and they like you know this was no accident or not he made up his mind himself just like you know purely by I don't know if it's an accident or not but it just like one idea that changes everything TAIPEI IS A CITY RICH WITH HISTORY AND TRADITION. AMONG THESE TRADITIONS ARE SEVERAL ANCIENT METHODS FOR MALE ENHANCEMENT. SO, I'M GOING TO SNAKE ALLEY, WHERE THEY TRADE IN TRADITIONAL CHINESE MEDICINE. TRY A LITTLE BIT OF SNAKE. THERE'S BONES IN IT. OW! MMM. OH, TURTLES! WHOA. LOOK AT THOSE DEAD TURTLE HEADS. GOD! [ LAUGHTER ] THAT THING'S LIKE 13" LONG. HERE WE GO. THAT'S NOT BAD. THAT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD, YEAH. OKAY. DOWN THE HATCH. IT'S LIKE A CHERRY TOMATO FULL OF BALLS. UGH. I HAVE NO IDEA, DUDE. [ CHUCKLES ] UGH. AFTER EATING ROOSTER TESTICLES IN SNAKE ALLEY, I NEED A DRINK. I FOUND A BAR WHERE A LOCAL TAIWANESE GIRL WAS WILLING TO TALK TO ME ABOUT SIZE. AH. SIZE? UH-HUH. OKAY. THE SIZE. AH, WELL, I HAVE TO SAY, I'M A BIT SHY SOMETIMES. YEAH. YEAH. DO, LIKE, A LOT OF AMERICAN GUYS, LIKE, HIT ON YOU? NO? I FIND THAT INCREDIBLY HARD TO BELIEVE. NO, NO, NO. DO YOU THINK THEY'RE, LIKE, ATTRACTIVE? YOU DON'T? YOU DON'T THINK AMERICAN MEN ARE ATTRACTIVE? DAMN IT! WHO DO YOU FIND THE MOST ATTRACTIVE? LIKE, WHAT KIND OF GUYS? LIKE, ASIAN GUYS OR...? I PREFER BLACK GUYS. YOU PREFER BLACK GUYS? YEAH. DO YOU LIKE THE BIGGER PENIS? IS THAT...? NO. FIRST OF ALL, YOU HAVE TO LIKE THIS PERSON. RIGHT, RIGHT. THEN YOU WILL SEE HIS PENIS, AND IT'S SOMETHING LIKE A GIFT. IT'S LIKE A GIFT. YEAH, YOU OPEN YOUR GIFTS, AND SOMETIMES IT'S "OOH!" AND SOMETIMES "AH." [ LAUGHS ] BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO PRETEND THAT IT'S, "WOW!" RIGHT, RIGHT. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. DID YOU KNOW THAT A 500-POUND SILVERBACK GORILLA HAS A 3-CENTIMETER PENIS, WHEREAS HUMANS HAVE A 13-CENTIMETER PENIS? [ SLOOP! ] THIS IS DUE TO A PHENOMENON SCIENTISTS CALL SEXUAL SELECTION. HUMAN FEMALES TEND TO PREFER MATES WITH BIGGER PENISES. SO, OVER TIME, THE HUMAN PENIS HAS EVOLVED TO A SIZE WAY BIGGER THAN NECESSARY. [ DING! ] AND THAT'S MY PROBLEM -- NO WOMAN WILL EVER CHOOSE ME OVER A GUY WITH A BIGGER DICK. IT'S HUMAN NATURE. SO, TODAY I'M MORE DETERMINED THAN EVER TO FIND A CURE FOR MY PROBLEM. I THINK THIS IS IT. THIS IS MASTER TU'S STUDIO. HI. MASTER TU? YEAH. YEAH. I'M PATRICK. HI. HOW ARE YOU? THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MEETING WITH ME. WHAT EXACTLY IS IT THAT YOU GUYS PRACTICE HERE? AND WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS THAT SOMEONE CAN GET FROM DOING THESE THINGS? MASTER TU LEARNED THE ANCIENT METHOD OF PENIS WEIGHT HANGING THROUGH HIS FATHER'S TEACHINGS. BY LIFTING WEIGHTS WITH YOUR PENIS, YOU INCREASE YOUR BODY'S NATURAL ENERGY AND PENIS LENGTH. SO, IT ACTUALLY DOES INCREASE YOUR SIZE? SO, IF I WERE TO TRY IT FOR MY FIRST TIME, IT WOULD BE JUST VERY SMALL AMOUNT. LIKE THIS. THIS SIZE? THAT'S -- THIS IS PRETTY -- MASTER TU IS GONNA START ME OUT WITH A 5-POUND LIFT, BUT FIRST I NEED TO WARM UP MY CHI. SO, MASTER TU AND HIS ASSISTANT TAKE ME THROUGH THE PROCESS. RUB. RUB. RUB. RUB? RUB? NOW I SLAP IT? [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] HOW I SHOULD TIE IT? OKAY. OKAY! [ Chuckling ] YEAH. OH, MAN. OH, MAN. [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] [ BREATHING DEEPLY ] STAND. STAND. ALL THE WAY UP? [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] SWING? ROCK A LITTLE BIT. [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] I'M CRAZY. I AM CRAZY. HOW'S IT FEEL? FEELS ALL RIGHT. [ BREATHING DEEPLY ] THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING. THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING. [ BREATHING DEEPLY ] [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] YEAH. YEAH. [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] AH. [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] HE SAID, OKAY, BESIDES, THE PAIN DOWN THERE, DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR WHOLE BODY'S BEEN RE-INVIGORATED? I FEEL LIKE VERY LIGHT, LIKE VERY, UH -- ALSO VERY SWEATY. [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] HE SAID THAT'S THE HORMONES KICKING IN. THAT'S THE HORMONES KICKING IN? I CAN FEEL IT WORKING. THEY'RE ABOUT READY. [ CONVERSING IN CHINESE ] HOW MUCH IS THIS? THAT'S 20 KILOGRAMS. SO, IT'S CLOSE TO 350. CLOSE TO 350 POUNDS. [ CONVERSING IN CHINESE ] [ APPLAUSE ] THAT'S -- THAT IS AMAZING. THAT -- [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] THAT IS AMAZING. WOW. [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] THIS GUY HAS GOT TO BE HUGE. WHILE WEIGHT-HANGING SEEMED PROMISING, THAT GUY'S JUNK DIDN'T LOOK TOO GREAT, AND MINE KIND OF FEELS LIKE A PAIR OF OLD SHOELACES. WHOA! HEY, FUCKER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DON'T... BUT THERE'S STILL HOPE. WE'RE ON OUR WAY TO THE LAST COUNTRY ON OUR JOURNEY. PAPUA NEW GUINEA IS ONE OF THE MOST REMOTE COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD. SEVERAL OF THE TRIBES HERE HAVE TRADITIONAL VIRILITY RITUALS HANDED DOWN FROM PRE-COLONIAL TIMES. OUR GUIDE IS PROFESSOR GIL HERDT, THE FOREMOST ANTHROPOLOGIST WORKING IN THE COUNTRY. THERE'S SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS IN WHICH THE PENIS REPRESENTS POWER... YEAH. ...REPRESENTS DOMINATION, REPRESENTS... MASCULINITY. ...MASCULINITY. SAMBIA WILL TELL THE STORY -- THIS IS THE TRIBE THAT I WORK WITH IN NEW GUINEA. MM-HMM. AND I KNEW A LOT OF WARRIORS WHO REALLY HAD KILLED, WHO REALLY HAD LED BATTLES. THEY WOULD SAY THAT, WHEN CHARGING INTO BATTLE, THE WARRIOR WHO WAS USUALLY THE WAR LEADER, WOULD HAVE AN ERECTION... HMM. ...WHICH SYMBOLIZED HIS ABILITY TO WIN OVER ON HIS ENEMY. AND IF YOU REALLY WANTED TO GET THE LIFE ESSENCE OF A GUY... MM-HMM. ...AFTER YOU ATTACKED HIM AND HE WAS DYING AND HE WAS HAVING SPASMS IN HIS BODY AND HE HAD AN ERECTION, YOU TRIED TO GET THE SEMEN. AND IF YOU COULD TAKE THAT INTO YOUR BODY, YOU GOT HIS POWER. AND THE NOTION WAS NOT FOCUSED ON THE SIZE OF YOUR PENIS. AS FAR AS I KNOW, THAT DIDN'T REALLY HAPPEN. BUT IT APPEARS TO BE COMING UP NOW. I MEAN, IF YOU GO -- IN A SOCIETY WHERE YOU, YOU KNOW, HUNDREDS AND MAYBE EVEN THOUSANDS OF YEARS THINKING THAT IT'S NOT IMPORTANT, HOW DO THESE IDEAS, THESE SEEDS, GET PLANTED IN THE MEN'S HEAD AND THEN IN THE WOMEN'S HEAD, TOO? HANDHELD CELLPHONES AND SEEING PORN STORES WITH BIG DICKS. MM-HMM. THESE GUYS SORT OF TALKING ABOUT THESE PENIS IMPLANTS, PUTTING THINGS IN THEIR PENIS. AT FIRST, I DIDN'T QUITE BELIEVE IT, AND THEN, THE MORE THEY TALKED ABOUT IT, I THOUGHT -- AND THEN I SAW SOME PHOTOS. MM-HMM. AND SO I SAID TO THEM, "WHERE'S THIS COMING FROM?" AND THIS IS WHAT I DIDN'T BELIEVE UNTIL THEY TOLD ME. THEY SAID, "IT'S BECAUSE OUR GIRLFRIENDS SAY WE'RE TOO SMALL. AND I SAID, "YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING." SO, NOW WE'RE DRIVING OUT TO A REMOTE BUSH REGION. WE WILL MEET A TRIBE WHOSE TRADITIONS DATE BACK MANY CENTURIES. HELLO. HOW ARE YOU? HI! YOU'RE FRIENDLY. HEY, BUDDY. THE VILLAGE SPANS ACROSS SEVERAL HUNDRED ACRES. UPON ENTERING, WE ARE MET WITH THE TRADITIONAL TRIBAL GREETING. THIS IS THEIR EQUIVALENT TO A HANDSHAKE. [ CHANTING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE ] PAT, CAN YOU DO THAT? CAN I DO THAT? CAN I MAKE FIRE? READY? WATCH THIS. AH! AH! CHEATING. EH. IT'S NOT NEARLY AS IMPRESSIVE. THE TRIBE HAS BEEN VERY WELCOMING. GIL TELLS THEM OF MY PROBLEM, AND THEY INTRODUCE ME TO THEIR WITCHDOCTOR. HE PREPARES A RITUAL AND PLEADS WITH THE GODS. [ SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE ] [ WHOOPING ] IT SEEMS THAT THIS RITUAL IS MORE SPIRITUAL THAN PHYSICAL. APPARENTLY, MOST TRIBES CARE FAR MORE ABOUT FERTILITY THAN SIZE. BUT THERE'S STILL A TRIBE THAT MAY HAVE THE SOLUTION I'M LOOKING FOR. WE MEET UP WITH THE SAMBIA PEOPLE. THESE ARE GIL'S FRIENDS FOR SEVERAL DECADES, AND THEY CLAIM THAT ENLARGEMENTS ARE COMMON IN THIS REGION. WHEN HE WAS A BOY, HE FELL DOWN FROM A TREE. HE WAS ABOUT 5. 5 YEARS OLD. AND HE FELL ON HIS SCROTUM AND SPLICED HIS SCROTUM OPEN. AND THEY'RE ALL LAUGHING AND LAUGHING AND LAUGHING. AND I WAS THE MEDICAL ASSISTANT TO THIS AREA AT THE TIME. SO, I SLUNG HIM UP OVER MY SHOULDER, AND I CARRIED HIM DOWN THE MOUNTAIN. AND I HAD BLOOD ALL OVER MY BODY, FROM YOUR BALLS. WOW. [ LAUGHTER ] RIGHT. THAT'S MY STORY. THE SAMBIA PEOPLE WELCOME ME TO THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD. AND THEN DO THIS. BAM! [ LAUGHTER ] THEN WE HEAD TO THE MARKET TO SEEK OUT ENLARGEMENT PROSPECTS. [ CONVERSING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE ] YOU EXPLAIN TO HIM. AM PATRICK. YOU CAN TALK SAMBIA ON PATRICK. THIS IS THE NUMBER YOU WANT. OH, FOR THE -- YES. REALLY? EXTEND. FOR THE BIG -- YEAH, THE -- AND WHEN YOU DO THE PROCEDURE, THE NEEDLE -- HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU PUT IT -- DO YOU PUT IT IN ONCE, PUT ALL THE OIL IN, OR DO YOU HAVE TO GO INTO DIFFERENT AREAS OF THE PENIS? I DON'T LIKE NEEDLES, SO... 10 SHOTS. 10 SHOTS. THAT'S 50 MILS. 50 MILS, 10 SHOTS. ONE 5 MILLILITER, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, TWO IN THE MIDDLE. FROM THE MEN THAT YOU'VE DONE, DOES IT APPEAR TO BE A PAINFUL PROCEDURE, OR IS IT FAIRLY PAINLESS? AND IT'S SAFE. IT'S A SAFE PROCEDURE. AND IT'S NOT SORE OR...? AND IT DOESN'T, LIKE, LEAK OR ANYTHING? NO. NO. OKAY. WERE YOU NERVOUS WHEN YOU...? MM-HMM. JUST A LITTLE BIT OF BLOOD? CAN YOU PUT IT IN THE SYRINGE JUST SO I CAN SEE HOW MUCH? AND THAT'S -- SO, 10 OF THOSE? YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT IF YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE, MAN. IT'S... [ SIGHS ] OKAY. SO, HOW -- SHOULD I STAND -- STAND UP? I'M SO SCARED RIGHT NOW. OHH. OKAY, UH... OKAY. OKAY. OKAY. YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. AH, OKAY. HANG ON. [ SIGHS ] MNH. I FEEL A LITTLE... I FEEL A LITTLE... GO GET SOME FRESH AIR. OKAY. HANG ON. JUST ONE -- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. OKAY. YEAH. OKAY. [ CLEARS THROAT ] [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] DEFINITELY... DUDE, WOULD YOU DO THIS? SHOULD I DO THIS? IS THIS FUCKING CRAZY? I'M AFRAID TO EAT THE FUCKING FOOD HERE. I'M NOT GONNA LET THAT GUY STICK A NEEDLE IN MY PENIS. I'M NOT DOING IT. JUST GIVE HIM THE MONEY AND TELL HIM THAT I CAN'T DO IT. DON'T WORRY. OKAY. OKAY. I FEEL LIKE... WHEN I WAS STARING DOWN AT THAT NEEDLE, I REALIZED JUST HOW DESPERATELY I WANT THIS ENLARGEMENT. THIS IS SOMETHING I HAVE TO DO. BUT I HAVE TO DO IT A SMART WAY, A SAFE WAY. SO, I'M HEADED BACK TO KOREA. APPARENTLY, IT'S THE PLASTIC-SURGERY CAPITAL OF THE WORLD. [ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ] SO, NOT ONLY DOES KOREA HAVE THE SMALLEST PENISES IN THE WORLD. THEY ALSO HAVE THE MOST PLASTIC SURGERY THAT GOES DOWN. SO, WE'VE COME TO THIS AREA. THIS PARTICULAR DISTRICT HAS THE MOST PLASTIC-SURGERY CENTERS IN ALL THE WORLD. I GOT SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT THINKING TWICE TONIGHT THAT'S WHAT WE'RE HOPING. HOLY GRAIL. HI. I'M HERE TO SEE DR. LEE. YEAH. DON'T WORRY. OKAY. [ LAUGHS ] RIGHT, RIGHT. MM-HMM. YEAH. MM-HMM. MM-HMM. [ SPEAKING KOREAN ] DR. LEE EXPLAINS THAT HIS SURGERY IS DONE IN TWO WAYS. ONE IS BY HARVESTING A SECTION OF SKIN AND FAT FROM A DEAD BODY AND ELONGATING THE PENIS WITH THE EXTRA FLESH. THE OTHER AND MORE POPULAR PROCEDURE INVOLVES HARVESTING FAT FROM THE PATIENT'S ABDOMEN AND INSERTING IT UNDER THE SKIN OF THE PENIS SHAFT, THUS ADDING SEVERAL CENTIMETERS OF GIRTH AND A VERY NATURAL APPEARANCE. DR. LEE INVENTED THIS PROCEDURE, AND IT'S BECOME THE INDUSTRY STANDARD. IT'S CONSIDERED TO BE VERY SAFE AND EFFECTIVE. DR. LEE INVITES ME TO MEET ONE OF HIS CURRENT PATIENTS. [ LAUGHS ] HI. HI. GOOD MORNING. GOOD MORNING. GOOD MORNING. [ SPEAKING KOREAN ] [ CHUCKLES ] MM-HMM, MM-HMM. OKAY. OH, YEAH. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. WOW. [ LAUGHS ] YEAH, YEAH. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. I MEAN, IT WAS PRETTY BIG. I MEAN, IF HE WAS REALLY SMALL ENOUGH TO COME IN AND CONSIDER HAVING THIS PROCEDURE DONE -- I MEAN, WHAT I SAW WAS, YOU KNOW, PRETTY GIRTHY-LOOKING. [ PHONE LINE RINGING ] YES? WHAT UP, MAN? IT'S PAT. UH, NOTHING, DUDE. I WENT AND MET THIS DOCTOR, THE, LIKE, PENIS-ENLARGEMENT GUY. HE'S LIKE THE MOST FAMOUS PENIS DOCTOR IN THE WORLD, AND HE LIKE DEVELOPED THIS PROCEDURE. HE DID IT. IT'S HIS -- LIKE, FROM HIS BRAIN, HE MADE IT UP. [ CHANTING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE ] I FEEL LIKE IF MAYBE I CAN SEE HOW THE PROCEDURE IS DONE, IT'LL KIND OF SETTLE MY FEARS A LITTLE BIT, YOU KNOW, IF I KNOW WHAT, YOU KNOW, I'M ACTUALLY GETTING MY DICK INTO. BUT, I MEAN, HE SAID IT'S LIKE -- YOU KNOW, THERE'S LITERALLY NO PAIN. YOU RECOVER IN LIKE A DAY. SO, I MEAN, IT CAN'T BE THAT BAD. HAVE YOU SEE BEFORE -- OPERATION? MNH-MNH. NO? MNH-MNH. FIRST TIME? MM-HMM. FOR THE EXPERIENCE? MNH-MNH. [ VOMITS ] [ COUGHING ] DUDE, HERE. HERE. [ SNIFFS ] [ CHUCKLES ] NO. NO WAY. YOU EVER HAVE ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS WHERE YOU JUST STEP OUTSIDE YOURSELF AND KIND OF TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND REALIZE THAT YOU'RE JUST NOT BEING YOURSELF ANYMORE? AND HONESTLY, I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT I'M DOING HERE ANYMORE. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S ABOUT. EVERYTHING WE DO ISN'T WORKING. I'M MAKING A COMPLETE FOOL OF MYSELF IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE WORLD. WHO'S GONNA WANT TO BE WITH ME AFTER SEEING THIS FILM? I LOOK LIKE AN INSECURE, NARCISSISTIC FREAK WITH A TINY DICK. IT'S YOUR MOVIE! YEAH, IF YOU DIDN'T SEE THIS COMING FROM A MILE AWAY, THEN YOU'RE OBLIVIOUS, MAN. HEY, PATTY. HOW ARE YOU DOING? UM... I'VE BEEN HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT THE FILM. IT'S JUST A LITTLE INTENSE. SO, I TOLD EVERYBODY THAT I'M DONE. YOU'RE ASKING A QUESTION OF MALE IDENTITY THAT IS BEYOND JUST YOU. IT'S A BIG QUESTION. SO I UNDERSTAND IT WOULD BE CONFUSING AT A CERTAIN POINT. BUT I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WOULD GET THIS FAR AND THEN QUIT. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. IT'S HARDER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE, I GUESS. IT'S ALL HARD, PATTY, YOU KNOW? I DON'T WANT TO BRING UP THE OLD HISTORY, BUT YOU WALKED OUT OF TWO S.A.T.s. YOU WANTED TO QUIT BASKETBALL. DID YOU QUIT? I CAN'T REMEMBER. YOU DID. I WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU TOTALLY DIFFERENT ADVICE THREE MONTHS AGO, BUT NOW I FEEL LIKE YOU'VE REALLY GROWN FROM THE EXPERIENCE AND ASKING THE QUESTIONS. AND, YOU KNOW, IN GROWTH, THERE IS PAIN, AND IT'S PAINFUL RIGHT NOW, BUT JUST KEEP GROWING. DON'T GIVE UP. WHY DOES SIZE MATTER SO MUCH? AND WHERE DOES THIS OBSESSION COME FROM? AND HOW CAN YOU HELP PEOPLE WHO FEEL INSECURE ABOUT IT? THERE'S NO GOOD WAY FOR ME TO GET A BIGGER DICK, BUT MAYBE I CAN FIND A WAY TO LIVE WITH THE ONE I'VE GOT. IN NEW YORK, THERE'S A MAN THAT I'M TERRIFIED TO MEET. HIS NAME IS JONAH FALCON, AND HE HAS THE WORLD'S BIGGEST PENIS. AS FAR AS YOU KNOW, IS YOURS LIKE THE BIGGEST? AS FAR AS I KNOW. IT WAS MEASURED ON CAMERA 13 1/2". WITHOUT USING A RULER, I GO FROM HERE TO HERE, AND I'M AT THIS THICKNESS. HOW HAS HAVING A PENIS THAT LARGE CHANGED YOUR LIFE? WELL, I WAS 8" WHEN I WAS 10, SO IT'S SORT OF LIKE NORMALCY FOR ME, YOU KNOW? RIGHT. THE ONLY THING THAT CHANGES IS PEOPLE'S REACTION TO ME. MM-HMM. YOU KNOW? SO, IT MAKES SEX EASIER. IT DOESN'T MAKE RELATIONSHIPS EASIER. YOU KNOW, I'VE HAD RELATIONSHIPS, BUT NONE OF THEM HAVE REALLY LASTED MORE THAN, SAY, EIGHT MONTHS. WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IS? I MEAN, PEOPLE TEND NOT TO THINK OF ME IN THAT SORT OF WAY, YOU KNOW? THEY TEND TO THINK OF ME AS MORE OF A, YOU KNOW, "LET'S SEE WHAT HE'S LIKE." SO, IT'S MORE OF LIKE A CURIOSITY, FASCINATION. BASICALLY, YEAH. RIGHT. I MEAN, I'VE HAD ONE PARTNER SAY, "I DON'T LOVE YOU. I JUST WANT YOU TO FUCK ME." MM-HMM. YOU KNOW? WHICH IS REALLY A -- THAT'S REALLY A BULLET TO MY HEART BECAUSE -- RIGHT. YOU KNOW, I THINK THAT THERE'S SOMETHING DEEPER, BUT APPARENTLY IT'S -- YOU KNOW, WHERE I THINK IT'S HERE, THEY THINK IT'S HERE, IN TERMS OF DEPTH. I MEAN, I HEAR YOU. I MEAN, LIKE, I HAVEN'T REALLY HAD VERY MANY SUBSTANTIAL RELATIONSHIPS, AND IT IS FAIRLY OBVIOUS NOW THAT I AM PROBABLY MAYBE A LITTLE BELOW WHAT IS AVERAGE. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I HAVE BEEN BROACHED BY THIS TOPIC BY OTHER GUYS, AS WELL, AND ONE OF MY FAVORITES IS, "MAN, IF I HAD WHAT YOU HAD --" AND MY ANSWER IS, "WHAT? WHAT WOULD YOU DO? WHAT WOULD BE DIFFERENT? IT WOULD BE YOU PLUS A FEW EXTRA INCHES, BUT GUESS WHAT. YOU'RE STILL YOU. AND PEOPLE ARE GONNA LIKE YOU EITHER WAY." IT STARTED AS "PICKLE." MM-HMM. AND THAT PISSED ME OFF, AND I FELT IT IMMEDIATELY. LIKE, THE HIGH SCHOOL RAGE CAME BACK. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS DOCUMENTARY? I DON'T KNOW. [ LAUGHS ] I DON'T KNOW. IT SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY UNPLEASANT EXPERIENCE. IT HASN'T BEEN GREAT. I'LL TELL YOU THAT MUCH. AND THAT KIND OF STARTED THIS WHOLE PROJECT. I'M NOW UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT PROBABLY I'M LIKE A LITTLE BELOW AVERAGE. HALF OF EVERYONE IS. RIGHT. RIGHT. UM -- AND "TOO SMALL" IS RELATIVE. "TOO SMALL" IS RELATIVE? TOO SMALL FOR HER. RIGHT. WE'VE PASSED THIS POINT WHERE THE MALE BODY, ONCE UPON A TIME, WAS NOT SUBJECT TO A CRITICAL GAZE. AND NOW IT IS. AND NOW MEN'S GENITALS ARE A SUBJECT OF SCRUTINY AND DEBATE AND, YOU KNOW, THUMBS UP OR THUMBS DOWN, IN A WAY THAT THEY DIDN'T USED TO BE, AND IN THE WAY THAT TITS ALWAYS WERE. SHE HAD GOOD TITS. SHE HAS BAD TITS. SHE HAS BIG TITS. SHE HAS A NICE RACK. SHE DOESN'T HAVE A NICE RACK. WHERE DO YOU THINK THESE KIND OF IDEAS ARE COMING FROM? WELL, WE LIVE IN A PORN-IFIED CULTURE. MM-HMM. PORN IS A SKEWED SAMPLE. PEOPLE AREN'T SEEING A REPRESENTATIVE SAMPLE OF PENISES ANYWHERE. ALL THEY'RE SEEING IS PORN PENISES. WELL, THE FIRST PENIS I EVER SAW LOOKED LIKE IT HAD CRASHED LANDED ON THIS PLANET. [ LAUGHS ] AND IT, YOU KNOW, THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS. AND, YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN WITH GUYS WHO HAVE THAT PENIS. AND IT'S NOT FUN. I THINK GUYS HAVE THIS IDEA THAT WHEN THEY'RE NOT AROUND, WOMEN ARE CONSTANTLY TALKING ABOUT THEIR PENISES. THE SIZE OF THEIR PENISES. I THINK POP CULTURE GIVES GUYS THAT IDEA. I'M A FAG, AND I HANG OUT WITH WOMEN WHEN THERE AREN'T STRAIGHT GUYS AROUND. AND IT ALMOST NEVER COMES UP. YOU KNOW, THERE'S ONE FAMOUS STUDY THAT SHOWED THAT WOMEN -- THE LONG-TERM PARTNERS OF MEN WITH SMALL PENISES REPORTED HIGHER LEVELS OF SEXUAL SATISFACTION THAN LONG-TERM PARTNERS OF MEN WITH ABOVE-AVERAGE PENISES... HMM. ...BECAUSE THE GUYS WITH SMALLER PENISES DIDN'T JUST RELY ON THEIR MAGIC DICKS TO GET THEIR GIRLFRIENDS OF, NECESSARILY. RIGHT. THEY FELT LIKE THEY HAD TO GO THE -- MAKE SOME EXTRA EFFORT. YOU HAD TO KNOW HOW TO HAVE SEX. I WAS WITH A GUY WHO HAD A SMALL DICK, WHO WOULDN'T SHUT UP ABOUT IT. I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THE SIZE OF HIS DICK. I REALLY DIDN'T. BUT LISTENING TO HIM COMPLAIN ABOUT HIS DICK AND PROJECT HIS INSECURITIES ONTO ME ALL THE TIME WAS EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTING. I WAS FINE WITH HIS DICK. I WASN'T FINE WITH HIS ASSUMPTION THAT I WASN'T FINE WITH HIS DICK, AND EVENTUALLY IT CONTRIBUTED TO OUR BREAKUP. SOMEBODY WITH A BELOW-AVERAGE DICK ISN'T GONNA SATISFY SOMEBODY WHO'S A COCK-HOUND OR A SIZE QUEEN, AND SO WHAT? YOU JUST DON'T, THEN, MARRY A SIZE QUEEN. MM-HMM. YOU HAVE TO FIND SOMEBODY WHO LIKE YOUR JUNK AND IT WORKS FOR THEM AND RUN OFF TOGETHER. RIGHT. THAT'S WHAT EVERYBODY HAS TO DO. YOU HAVE TO FIND SOMEBODY WHO LIKES EVERYTHING YOU BRING TO THE TABLE. THE ONLY WAY THAT I CAN MOVE ON IS TO FIND SOMEBODY WHO LIKES EVERYTHING THAT I BRING TO THE TABLE. I NEED TO GET BACK ON THE HORSE. SO, I'VE DECIDED TO ASK KASSIA OUT ON A DATE. SHE'S THE GIRL FROM THE SEX SHOP. [ ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ] MY HEART BEATS MY HEART IS FEELING LOVE MY HEART BEATS MY HEART BEATS STRONGER MY HEART BEATS MY HEART IS FEELING LOVE MY HEART BEATS MY HEART BEATS STRONGER MY HEART BEATS MY HEART IS FEELING LOVE MY HEART BEATS MY LOVE BEATS STRONGER MY HEART BEATS MY HEART IS FEELING LOVE MY HEART BEATS MY LOVE BEATS STRONGER AND WHAT ARE WE DOING? WHERE HAVE WE BEEN? NO, NO A STUPID BAD CHAT TWO ON THE FLOOR AND WAS THAT THE NIGHT... ALL RIGHT, SO, WHAT ABOUT TONIGHT? DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME TONIGHT? YEAH. IS THAT FOR REAL? YOU DID? YEAH. I DID. I MEAN, I'M STILL HAVING THE TIME. STILL HAVING THE TIME? YEAH. I'LL GET BACK TO YOU. GET BACK TO ME AFTER IT'S OVER? WHAT ABOUT ME? WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT ME? AM I JUST A WEIRDO? IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU. [ LAUGHS ] IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE AWESOME. I JUST FEEL LIKE YOU ARE A LITTLE OBSESSED WITH THIS WHOLE THING. [ SIGHS ] DO I SEEM OBSESSED? IS THAT KIND OF HOW I COME OFF? [ LAUGHS ] UM -- AS I HOLD A CAMERA IN YOUR FACE? YES. YEAH. YEAH, IT'S WEIRD. I DON'T UNDERSTAND, LIKE -- THERE'S SO MUCH MORE GOING ON, I FEEL. LIKE -- IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP, IF YOU WANT TO BE INTIMATE, IF ANY OF THAT MATTERS. I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW HOW MEN FEEL. IT'S SO NOT ALL ABOUT YOUR DICK. HMM. IF YOU GUYS CARE, P.S., IF THIS EVER MAKES IT, IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOUR DICK. UH-OH. YOUR TURN? YEAH. [ SIGHS ] I LIKE IT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CAMERA. IT'S A LOT LESS -- IT'S BETTER, HUH? YEAH, IT'S WAY BETTER. WHATEVER IT IS YOU NEED, NEEDS TO HAPPEN BEFORE I FEEL LIKE WE COULD EVEN GO GET A DRINK WITHOUT YOU THINKING ABOUT IT. I THOUGHT I COULD FIX MY PROBLEM, BUT MAYBE I AM THE PROBLEM. I HAVE THE HONOR OF BRINGING UP YOUR NEXT COMEDIAN. PLEASE MAKE SOME NOISE FOR MY GOOD BUDDY PATRICK MOOTE, EVERYBODY, PATRICK MOOTE! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ANDREW SLEIGHTER, EVERYBODY. GIVE IT UP. SO, ANDREW TOLD YOU GUYS I JUST GOT BACK. WHOO! BACK! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THANK YOU, GUYS. IT WAS PRETTY COOL. I GOT TO GO AROUND THE WORLD, SEE SOME STUFF... IN ORDER TO MAKE MY PENIS BIGGER. [ LAUGHTER ] AND IN TAIWAN, THERE'S A GROUP OF PEOPLE. THEY'RE THESE MARTIAL ARTISTS, AND THEY TIE UP THEIR WHOLE SITUATION WITH A ROPE, AND THEN THEY HANG WEIGHTS, WHICH, IN TAIWAN, IS PROBABLY COOL. 24 HOUR FITNESS? OH, NOT SO MUCH. [ LAUGHTER ] PLUS, IT'S LIKE FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND A SPOTTER. YOU'RE LIKE, "HEY, YOU WANT TO SPOT ME, BRO?" [ LAUGHTER ] "MY DICK? DOWN THERE?" YOU KNOW? IT'S BEEN -- THIS WHOLE THING THAT I'VE BEEN DOING HAS BEEN CRAZY. IT'S BEEN WEIRD, AND IT'S BEEN AWESOME. BUT THE THING THAT I REALIZED THE MOST IS THAT, YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT ABOUT THE INSECURITIES THAT YOU HAVE, YOU KNOW? YOU GOT TO FIND SOMEBODY WHO'S RIGHT FOR YOU. IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT THE PENIS. I THINK THEY'RE ALL BEAUTIFUL, JUST LIKE I THINK ALL TREES ARE BEAUTIFUL, IN THEIR OWN WAY. IT'S WHAT IT IS, AND IT'S FABULOUS. IT'S GOT NERVE ENDINGS. IT'S YOUR FRIEND. [ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ] MY PENIS TOOK ME TO PLACES I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SEE. IT MADE ME DO THINGS I NEVER DREAMT I WOULD DO. HEY! AND ALONG THE WAY, I MET SOME REALLY GREAT PEOPLE. [ LAUGHS ] [ LAUGHS ] [ LAUGHS ] BYE! YEAH. BYE. AH! [ CHUCKLES ] I STARTED THIS JOURNEY WITH A QUESTION -- DOES SIZE MATTER? AND IT DID -- TO ME. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? IT DOESN'T ANYMORE. HA! AH! AH! [ CHANTING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE ] I THINK THE BIGGEST THING, THE WHOLE THING THAT I'VE LEARNED THROUGHOUT THIS ENTIRE JOURNEY, IS THAT, JUST BE COOL WITH YOURSELF, YOU KNOW? JUST BE GOOD WITH YOURSELF. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THE AVERAGE DEPTH OF THE FEMALE VAGINA IS 3.2". THE AVERAGE LENGTH OF THE MALE PENIS IS 4.4". SO, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? MAN, YOU GOT PLENTY OF PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE THAT REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU, AND, YOU KNOW, THERE'S FUCKING MILLIONS OF GIRLS OUT THERE, BRO, ALL RIGHT? TAKE IT EASY. THANKS A LOT! IT'S BEEN GOOD. MY NAME IS PATRICK MOOTE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] PATRICK MOOTE, EVERYBODY! [ CHUCKLES ] SO, I GUESS THAT'S ABOUT IT. I THINK I CAN SAFELY SAY THAT, AT THIS POINT, I AM SICK OF TALKING ABOUT MY DICK. AND I'M PRETTY SURE THAT YOU'RE ALL SICK OF HEARING ABOUT IT, SO I WILL SHUT UP ABOUT MY DICK AND TALK ABOUT THIS YOUNG LADY... [ CHUCKLES ] ...WHO IS AWESOME. MM. SUPER. ...AND AMAZING, KIND OF PRETTY... MM-HMM. ...GREAT ATTITUDE, LIKE -- WHY ARE YOU BEING SO WEIRD? I'M NOT BEING WEIRD. I'M JUST TELLING YOU THAT I THINK YOU'RE GREAT. YOU'RE NOT GONNA PROPOSE TO ME, ARE YOU? WHAT? IS THAT -- [ LAUGHS ] COME ON! 'CAUSE EVERYTHING MOVES EVERYTHING PULSES EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU EVERYTHING MOVES EVERYTHING PULSES EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU IN THE EYES OF YOU IN THE EYES OF YOU RAMBLE ON, CHUG ALONG AND IF THE BEAT STOPS THUMPING THEN SOMETHING'S WRONG IGNORE IT, SON IT'S JUST A SONG BUT I CAN SEE YOUR WHITE-KNUCKLED HAND FROM HOLDING ON SO LATELY I WONDER WHY WE RELY ON THE SURE THING IT'S TOO DAMN COMFORTING TO STAY ALIVE, OVERDRIVE, TILL WE FIND SOMETHING NEW TO KEEP THE PULSE ALIVE IN YOU SO MANY ANGLES SO MANY LINES SO MANY WAYS TO SEE THE SUNRISE 'CAUSE EVERYTHING MOVES EVERYTHING PULSES EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU EVERYTHING MOVES EVERYTHING PULSES EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU IN THE EYES OF YOU IN THE EYES OF YOU EVEN THOUGH I DON'T KNOW QUITE WHAT TO DO THE TIME WILL SHOW WHAT WE KNOW IS HARDLY EVER TRUE I'D RATHER HAVE THEN NEVER HAD THE SPINNING ROOM = THE FEELING THAT I MOVED NO MORE STANDING STILL AT YOUR WILL, BUT YOU CAN TRY UNTIL YOU SEE THE MOTION'S MOVING YOU 'CAUSE EVERYTHING MOVES EVERYTHING PULSES EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU EVERYTHING MOVES EVERYTHING PULSES EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU EVERYTHING LIES IN THE EYES OF YOU EYES OF YOU IN THE EYES OF YOU Elena... Elena? Elena? Elena?! You are doing so good. Julie comes walking up, and, um... like, I can tell just by looking at her she totally, fuckin', she totally wants to pork me. Oh, you're so full of shit. What would she want with that two-inch little blood bat? Fuck, my left ball hurts a little. I gotta take a leak. Thanks for telling me. Get bent, you fat fuck! Ohh... What the fuck? Yo! Yo! Yo? Yo? Where is she? I don't know. I don't know. I don't... I don't know. I don't know. You fucked her. No, I... No... No, I didn't. No, I didn't fuck... You fucked her. No, I didn't! I didn't. You fucked her. No-- NO You fucked her. No, no! Shut up! You look so beautiful when you sleep. Sweet, sweet Elena. Well, I found you. It's okay. Come to me, okay? Elena, come on. Come here. Come on. Elena, come to me. Elena? Elena. Come to me. like Taiwan for example you know they really like hot pot that's a pretty cool idea I'm not sure I reallly like the whole preparation you know like 20 minutes to prepare by your own but I have to admit it's super tasty and sometimes it you know you even get like free ice cream one time of that so you know you get to like I love that super tasty for that you gotta choose what kind you know what I mean you gotta eat one I mean you get ice cream as much as you can eat on top of taht that's like "wow!" you know but then spaces like Korea Well you can actually get light butter booth I mean not the whole lot the booth but just the otherbooth like It just like open up your mouth I mean they put them in a box for you and you try to have eat them up in half an hour and it like a smooth then give them when they are in between in your teeth so you know a lot of interesting things you should try it on I've heard of a lot interesting and sometimes it comes to controversial meals from China but the well you know you can check it out I'm pretty sure you might have heard of something anyway you know it was like It seems that almost every country in the world has their own like you know specialty some cuisine especially if you go far away from the country that you being living for a quite long time you know it just that get the special kind of feeling in your mouth if you try something you never actually try before and the the buzz in your mouth directly in to all of a sudden a pretty new experience you know of course there's mant other reasons to go exploring the other part of the world you haven't ever been to you never even heard of before you know cause there was always culture there's you know buildings that have been around for quite a while maybe not but there's you know there all like culturely significant or you know there's you know technology and like shopping mall still there and just by near so and everytime you go traveling you get like even the way that people think makes you kind of I mean for people who have never left the country before their own country in their lives that kind of like stock in the one particular way of thinking but the more places you get to go to and more places you visit you actually realize you know there's a there's as many way of thinking as there people in the world perhaps even you know cause well basically there's there's a lot of variety in that to discover and it's not you are you know you have to be forced to this one way of thinking but and it sounds like every like you know only your culture is right? and anybody's else is wrong it's like you know everybody is right and wrong in their own ways so you actually get to grow up quite a lot just by the fight that you are experiencing a differnt way of thinking and that's different way of thinking like you know it has been around for I mean different ways of thinking have been in different cultures have been like around for thousands of years even you know and you can see that in architecture for example like you know have been permanent Romance built the Pantheon I can give it a example you know the Spania for example to give but basically you know ther's a lot of new ideas to explore and traveling is like I mean of course you can read that in books you can get that kind of knowleges in menus but it just not the same like actual hand on experiences it's just something totally different it's like you know if somebody tells you a story where's that you can actually experience that story on your own your own eyes that's you know it's a totally different things it's like believing something and actually seeing it come to alive you know that's f******* traveling lesson something that's a pretty special you know just for many reasons you know many many many and well you know I've been to quite a lot of places on my own and you know if I there's also be a lot of places that I haven't been to but I've heard pretty much interesting story from my friends and you know I for example I've been living in the Aisa for quite long you know but I never been to Macau but the I have friends who have been there for example they said it's basically like you know the Las Vegas of Asia I don't know just I guess I always kind of like something like gambling I mean I wouldn't ever battle all of my money in my life and gambling anything like that it's you know kind of get what you people get excited for that there is certain kind of like exciting to It's a associate get a lot of it and not a chace that I go gambling I play Poker sometimes no big deal won some money but something like you never won a lot and it not like I ever you know put a lot of money on the table just want to win you know I've heard story about people who like you know bet their whole houses or you know or their car or something like that or or big portion of their property just for a chance to get more you know I heard some of them failed some of them actually won something good for them you know I don't necessarily get the idea cause It seems that a lot of people seems to think the gambling is like wrong the whole idea gambling is wrong and I I don't know well of course I mean you can use your own money but it's your choice It's your choice and it doesn't I mean why should anybody tell you that you know you shouldn't do it that put the stuff of your own right? I mean of course it's also like you know moral value right If you are stupid and you have a family and you bet your house on the bet and then you lose all of your money or your house and your family don't have a place to live anymore then you of course a idiot no way to go around but still you know most your choice and I don't think we should you know you wanna gamble you gamble you do what you wanted for life basically that and If you are lucky you get chace to win a lot of money you know if you win a million dollars and this is so many thing you can possibly do I mean come on If I had a million dollars right now I don't even know what I will do like you know one friend said to me one time that like I think another one of our friends or even me asked that okay If you had like a infinite kind of money what would you buy with it? and then he said he would buy the moon that was like oh okay and then what would you do if you get more he said I get the lasers to tatoo my face on top of the moon so everybody could see it that was like oh okay yeah that's a great idea you people really had a millions then I don't know If I had a billion dollars or a million dollars I mean these are some you are used to anyway I don't know I suppose like help society you know what I mean perhaps build a company for a lot of people can work or something like that beats me I don't know haven't really even been thinking about it for a long time seems like we can do a lot of stuff well I had one friend who want to earn a lot of money and then buy himself an island in the south Pacific and you know that to be a pretty cool idea I suppose you can relax to the end of your days have fun well If you had a billion dollars then of course If you didn't want to you would never ever have to work a single other day in your life that just you know it just like If you had a lot of money I think that's also you know that good size of course you can get whatever you want almost any thing you know you can't really buy true friendship like you can't really buy true love even but you know you know you still can buy other stuff like almost any thing so you can skip yourself on other things but I've been always thing about like if you can have everything wouldn't that be kind of bored? like you know right now you know people work to get something you know now imagine you didn't have to work imagine if you who already have everything you wanted you know wouldn't that kind of be no purpose you know I mean maybe It wouldn't you know I guess that also depends on the person if they have whole something like did they really want to focus on or you know they could go some some people they really like to you know be alright or something like it he wouldn't have to care you know his would be so so a millions or something like it so he just can make of it you don't have to care about it you know said if like you know I don't know bekind of artist or anybody else you know you wanted to when a company wouldn't have to afraid like oh my god if I don't try hard next month I don't have enough money to survive It's okay having a lot of money I can do whatever I want but you know I suppose there are a good sense of invest you know personal I supposed If I had a million dollars personally I don't think I personally wouldn't get bored I think there's find something to do on my own First of all I could play a street fighter for as long as I want and nobody would give a s*** about it so yeah there we go for that question answer very quickly nobody will see it you know I think I think if a reasonable and responsible thing can do If one had that kind of money would be to help people out in some maybe to do donation to starving children in Africa maybe to some you know social help like educate people would be the society you've been with in maybe organize some programs to show them that actually is a way for them to improve their status they are not necessarily stock in one situation even though they like think they are you know but there are ways to go around It might help them out might even you know invest some of these project so that they have anything you know like help them develop it's you know develop just things you know that's basically I don't know Humans are all social animals and if we don't find I meanwe have to socialize If you send somebody out and they have to live by themselves in some hot and in the middle of nowhere you know be careful you know I mean you want to talk with people you know you want to socilaize you want to go out there you want to you know drink some beer talk with people you want to have somebody who can understand us they want to have somebody that can understand them you know just helping people out you know if I had a lot of money I would like to help people out just so yoy know so they could human that would be nice you know we end starvation and wonderful world wondering that's what happen Well...so this is the whole story you know. 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