I need a drink to take the edge off.

Hey, E, how you doing?

Seems E is ready to start drinking and wants me to join him.

Today's lesson is on drinking.

Not...

I mean, I did a video on drinking before.

Take a sip.

This is what happens when people drink too much, past the social stage.

Okay?

So let's go to the board and take a look.

And before I get started, this video is for Elle Williams (Chicklet).

She'll know why when I get to "paralytic", and the rest of you will learn a brand new

word you'll like a lot.

Anyway, so E's saying: "Cheers, mate", so he wants to invite me to a drink.

Before I get started on the lesson, I want to kind of do a public service announcement

(PSA): "Drinking can be a social activity, but too much is irresponsible.

Please drink responsibly."

Now I've done my PSA.

Okay?

So, I'm not advocating drinking too much, but this video is about drinking too much.

Let's just face it, what it is.

I mean, we're not going to be drinking Perrier, here.

Okay?

So, you like to drink, you like to party.

In some countries I know it's not legal, but if you're coming to a lot of Western countries,

you can drink and some people take that to the extreme.

And I'm going to go and go through the stages, actually, of drinking and where we start off

with.

Now, if you have a drink, it probably won't affect you.

In fact, for the average person, male or female, one drink every two hours will not really

affect your system; it will be in your system, but won't affect you - how you think, cognitively

how you think or you physically, your reflexes, depending on weight and everything else before

people say: "But James, if it's a small woman..."

Just generally speaking, okay?

Now, if you are going to go out drinking, I may suggest that you get a "designated driver".

In North America, that is a person who is not supposed to drink, so if five people are

going out, one of those people will not drink; they will have Coke or water all night and

drive the other ones home.

Okay?

So get one of those.

Because if you get stopped by the police or any law enforcement agent, if you have...

I believe it's 0.06 or 0.08 - I can't recall what it is...

It doesn't matter, but it's about a certain blood level, you will be considered under

the influence and you could be in trouble, serious trouble for drinking and driving.

Okay?

This also goes for marijuana, but in this case, drinking and driving, being under the

influence is illegal in most Western countries.

Okay?

So, now that we've got the business out of the way, let's partay, okay?

So, the first stage of drinking, you can see my cup is up.

I'm with E.

We're having a drink.

"Cheers, mate", smashing glasses - a great time.

And I want to have a drink.

I'm after work; I've had a very busy day, and I'm like: "Oh, man, I had a lot of reports

to do.

I just need a drink to take the edge off."

That means I want a drink, maybe two, but I'm not trying to get drunk.

I'm stressed out; I want to relax.

The edge - it's when you're...

Here's the edge: You're here, and you're about to fall off.

You're just there, you go: "I need to take off the edge.

I want to relax, so I can take some steps back and relax."

Okay?

So, hey, the first stage of drinking, you want to take the edge off - you need to relax

from a stressful day.

Now, "tipsy" is a little different.

Once you get a little tipsy, we like to say you're slightly drunk, a little bit.

Maybe you've had three drinks, and now you're kind of happy.

You know?

You just got that kind of walk on, like: "Hey, how ya doin'?

I'm pretty good myself."

You've got rid of the stress, and now you're happy-guy; like: "Yeah, I'm pretty good.

How you doin'?"

Next one is "buzzed".

You know "bee"?

"Buzzzz".

When you're buzzed, man, you're just kind of: "Yeah, I'm feeling good now."

You've gone past the one, two social to: "I'm just going to let my brain go off for a little

while", but you're not falling down drunk.

You're either...

You're more...

A little bit more than happy, you're kind of a little bit out of it, but not too much.

Once again, at any of these stages you shouldn't be driving.

Have a designated driver because you're now under the influence of alcohol, and that's

what that means: Under the influence of alcohol - you cannot think as clearly as you should.

Now let's go from the happy stage and kind of relaxed, and kind of move into stage B.

You will notice our glass is not quite level; we're kind of: "Uhh", because now you're drunk.

You're drunk.

If somebody says: "Hey, look at James.

He's wasted", it means he's pretty drunk.

We use the term "wasted" because it probably means not just today...

When you waste something, you don't use it properly.

Okay?

You misuse it or you use it too much.

Or think of garbage - it's waste; it's no longer any good.

When we say: "You're wasted", we're looking at you, and you're kind of like: "Uh, uh".

I go: "Tomorrow morning, he's no good to anybody.

That guy will not be able to get out of bed.

He's wasted."

We can see it now that tomorrow is going to be done.

Okay?

So that's when we say that's: "You're wasted."

Now: "You're hammered" - oo, boy.

"Wasted" I could see it, but "hammered" is another stage.

If you know what a hammer is, and that's what my little drawing is here, we use it to hit

nails.

When you're hammered, it's like when someone takes a hammer and hits you upside the head,

and you're like: "Oh, yeah."

And you see those guys walking like: "Hey, you're my buddy, you're my buddy."

You're like: "Get off of me, please.

Stop touching me, you cretin."

And they think they're being...

They're like: "Ah, I love you.

I love you, I love you."

They love everybody.

You're like: "That guy's hammered."

It's because we say this is because you are really drunk, you might even be unconscious.

When some people are hammered, you're like: "Ahhh", and they're unconscious.

They just...

It's just like: "One, two, three - you're out!"

That guy's hammered.

Next, similar to "hammered": "pissed".

Okay, I got to stop and give you a couple of things on the word "pissed" here, okay?

Number one, "piss", the "p-i-s-s" is for pee-pee; it's going number one; urinating; peeing.

You're peeing, you know?

"Oh, got to get this out, I'm so...

Ooh."

So, when we say: "You're pissed", you go: "Well, James, why would they say 'pissed'?"

It means you drank...

You've had so much to drink that you're probably going to pee your own pants; you'll have a

stain on your pants.

It's like: "Ew, he pissed himself.

He's pissed."

That's how drunk you are; you may wet your pants.

"Pissed" also means...

Another...

Another thing is very angry, so you have to look up context.

If I say: "I'm pissed at you" it means: "I'm very angry at you."

If you say somebody pissed their pants, they've got a wet spot at the front of their pants

and it's highly embarrassing if you're over the age of 3.

Okay?

And then if they're pissed, you're watching them drink, like: "That guy's pissed.

He's going to...

You know, he'll probably piss himself anytime now."

Okay?

My final one here is: "Drunk as a skunk".

You mean: "What's a 'skunk'?"

If you have watched the cartoons, there's Pep� Le Pew - it's an animal that has a

tail that has a bad smell.

If you come too close, the animal lets the smell go; it's horrible.

In North America, you can always tell when a skunk has been hit because the area for

like a mile smells bad, you're like: "Oh, it's sick."

When you're drunk as a skunk it's like you've drunken so much alcohol that you can smell

the alcohol off the person.

You're like: "Oo, that guy's drunk.

He's drunk as a skunk.

So drunk you can smell it coming off of them."

Okay?

You're going to yourself probably, like: "James, these seem horrible", but the glass is still

not over.

No, we're not finished because there's another stage you can go to.

Exhibit C: When the glass is completely fallen and everything is empty.

When you are "dead to the world".

Usually at this point of drinking, you're no longer standing; you're on the floor - dead.

You're not dead.

It looks like you're dead.

They can kick you: "Hey, hey.

Get up."

You're not moving.

Go: "Ugh.

Ugh."

That's how drunk you are.

Okay?

"Pass out" is another one, you can...

You see someone: "Blah."

You go: -"What happened to James?"

-"He passed out."

I drank so much I just fall asleep on the...

Right there.

He crawls out; I'll be on the floor.

You'll be like: -"What happened to him?"

-"He passed out."

So much alcohol is in his system, he fell asleep while standing up, and - boom.

Okay?

"Black out".

It's not dark.

You go: "It's 'black out'.

I got it."

No, no.

When you black out, you're actually walking around talking to people, but you have no

idea you're doing this.

In the morning people will say: -"You told me you were going to give me a ride to Jamaica

on your airplane."

-"What?

I don't remember that."

-"Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Then you were dancing the Flamingo and the Ferengi, and you were doing all sorts of things."

It's like: "Must have blacked out.

I don't recall."

Literally your memory is gone.

You were there, but you're not.

Please do not...

Once again, drink responsibly.

Okay?

This is irresponsible to your body.

And final, this is my favourite one, this is for Elle Williams: "You're paralytic.

You're paralytic" Now, even Americans are now going or anyone who's English, goes: "He

just made that word up."

I didn't.

You're not from England.

This is a special one.

When you're paralytic, it's like you're paralyzed.

You are so drunk: "I can't move.

I drank too much.

I'm stuck like this forever."

Okay?

That's if you're paralytic.

You don't want to get that stage, but some people do.

Scottish people.

I mean some people do - they get paralytic.

They drink so much they cannot move.

Similar to being "dead to the world", okay?

And that's why that face is there.

So, we've gone through stages A, B, and C, and then I put a sun here for the next day.

What is this for?

This is the result of drinking too much.

If you drink too much, the next day you will be "hung over".

Remember I talked about "wasted"?

Where's my "wasted" one?

Usually no good.

You will have a headache, probably stomach problems, maybe even diarrhea, and you will

wish you were dead.