WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."

I'M JUST CLEANING MY GLASSES.

GIVE ME A SECOND HERE.

I'M SORRY TO KEEP YOU GUYS WAITING, IT'S JUST THAT THIS IS

THE LAST SHOW OF THE WEEK, RARE FRIDAY SHOW, RARE FRIDAY SHOW AT

THIS POINT.

WE HAD A LIVE SHOW A COUPLE OF NIGHTS AGO.

I'M STILL RIDING OUT THAT HIGH.

AND I DON'T KNOW IF MY GLASSES ARE DIRTY OR JUST MY CORNAS

REFUSE TO FOCUS ANYMORE.

I'M HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE-- THERE YOU GO.

THERE ARE THE WORDS RIGHT THERE.

I CAN'T WAIT TO FIND OUT WHAT I WILL SAY TONIGHT.

THE SQUIRREL CAGE NEEDS HOSING OUT UP THERE.

HAPPY FRIDAY?

IT'S THE END OF THE FIRST WEEK OF A BRAND-NEW YEAR, WHICH MEANS

IT'S TIME FOR MY NEW SEGMENT: "2021, THE WEEK THAT FELT LIKE A

YEAR: A LOOK BACK."

WHERE TO BEGIN?

MONDAY.

WHAT HAPPENED ON MONDAY?

I CAN'T REMEMBER.

BUT, ON TUESDAY, THERE WAS THE BIG RUNOFF ELECTION DOWN IN

GEORGIA.

I KNOW THAT BECAUSE ON WEDNESDAY, I WAS GOING TO HAVE

FUN TALKING ABOUT WINNERS HEADED TO THE SENATE.

BUT I HAD TO SCRAP ALL THAT WHEN THOSE LOSERS HEADED TO THE

SENATE.

IT WAS AMAZING.

TUESDAY, I MEAN, NOTLET WEDNESDAY THING.

THAT WAS-- WHEN WAS IT?

WHAT DAY IS THIS?

>> ARE THE.

>> Stephen: THIS IS FRIDAY.

WEDNESDAY WAS THE BAD DAY.

TUESDAY WAS THE FUN NIGHT THAT WE FOUND OUT ON WEDNESDAY BUT I

COULDN'T TALK ABOUT IT.

THERE YOU GO.

TUESDAY WAS AMAZING.

I SPENT THE WHOLE EVENING BREATHLESSLY WATCHING JOHN KING

AND STEVE KORNACKI WITH THEIR TOUCHSCREENS, AFTER DARK.

>> 50,000 VOTES DIFFERENCE, RIGHT?

OR 40,000 VOTES DIFFERENCE.

130,000 NICK SAYS MR. STERLING WAS SAYING, 171,000

VOTES.

>> YOU'RE SITTING ON 170,000, 180,000 OR SO VOTES TO BE

REPORTED OUT, RIGHT, WHERE I THINK YOU CAN CERTAINLY EXPECT

DEMOCRATS TO BE GETTING AT LEAST 80% OF THOSE VOTES, AND PROBABLY

MORE.

>> Stephen: GOT IT.

I'M CRUNCHING THE LATEST NUMBERS OUT OF GEORGIA, AS THEY CONTINUE

TO TRICKLE IN.

WE'RE WATCHING PARTICULARLY MILITARY BALLOTS RIGHT NOW.

I'M GOING TO PULL UP CHATHAM COUNTY, OKAY.

ANNND... NOTHING.

I GUESS THE RESULTS ARE ALL IN FROM CHATHAM COUNTY.

LET'S LOOK AT THIS AREA.

IS IT HERE?

IS IT-- WHERE DO I-- IS IT COBB?

THIS VOICE-ACTIVATED, JIM HAD?

CA-BABA.

CAN WE PUT UP A WEATHER MAP OR ANYTHING, JIM?

I'M BEING TOLD THIS TOUCHSCREEN IS BROKEN?

IT DOES NOT WORK.

IT NEVER WORKED.

IT'S NOT A TOUCHSCREEN.

AND I'VE BEEN TOLD THAT BEFORE.

IS THERE MATH TO BE HAD HERE?

>> THERE IS MATH-- THERE IS MATH TO BE HAD HERE.

>> YOU CAN DO THE MATH HERE: 54 AND 29 AND 83 AND 84.

>> Stephen: GOT IT.

54, 29, 83, 84, WITH A POWERBALL OF 6, TIMES 170,000.

KEEP FEEDING ME, BOYS!

KEEP FEEDING ME!

>> YOU'RE A LITTLE OVER 85,000 IS YOUR TURNOUT IN THE NOVEMBER

GENERAL ELECTION.

YOU'RE A BIT NORTH OF 68,000 HERE.

>> SO, NOW YOU ARE AT 1.8, 1.7, 3.5-- ADD UP, YOU'RE A LITTLE

HIGHER THAN THAT.

>> Stephen: OKAY, GOT IT.

ADDING THINGS MAKES THEM HIGHER, GOT IT.

OKAY, 1.8 ADDING 29, 40,000-- PLUS OR MINUS-- DIVIDED BY THE

SQUARE ROOT OF "ISH?" AND THE RESULTS ARE...

(BLEEP) YOU, MITCH MCCONNELL.

YOU LOST.

I'M GOING TO SIT DOWN.

I THINK I HUFFED TOO MANY INTEGERS.

THE FIRST RACE THEY CALLED TUESDAY NIGHT WAS SENATOR-ELECT

RAPHAEL WARNOCK-- SEEN HERE OUT-CUTEING A PUPPY-- WHO

DEFEATED APPOINTED SENATOR AND LADY WHO HAS TO GO TO THE HORSE

BARBER, KELLY LOEFFLER.

WITH HIS VICTORY, WARNOCK BECOMES THE FIRST BLACK SENATOR

IN GEORGIA HISTORY.

WOW, REALLY?

IS THAT TRUE?

>> YES.

>> Stephen: GEORGIA HAS THE THIRD-HIGHEST BLACK POPULATION

IN AMERICA, AND UNTIL NOW, IT HAD NEVER BEEN REPRESENTED BY A

THAT'S LIKE NEW MEXICO NEVER HAVING A NATIVE AMERICAN

SENATOR.

WHAT?

IT DOESN'T MEAN HE'S GIVEN UP HIS CHURCH WORK.

>> I INTEND TO RETURN TO MY PULPIT AND PREACH ON SUNDAY

MORNINGS AND TO TALK TO THE PEOPLE.

>> Stephen: MAYBE THE REVEREND CAN HIRE THIS

SOON-TO-BE-UNEMPLOYED PERSON AS HIS BIBLE HOLDER.

ON ELECTION NIGHT, LOEFFLER REFUSED TO CONCEDE.

>> WE'RE GONNA WIN THIS ELECTION.

WE'RE GONNA SAVE THIS COUNTRY.

WE GOT SOME WORK TO DO HERE.

THIS IS A GAME OF INCHES.

>> Stephen: OKAY, OKAY, I SEE WHAT YOU DID WRONG THERE.

IT'S ACTUALLY A GAME OF VOTES, AND HE GOT MORE.

IT TOOK UNTIL WEDNESDAY BUT, EVENTUALLY, THE OTHER RACE WAS

CALLED FOR INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALIST AND BOY DEMANDING

THAT BEDTIME BE PUSHED TO 9:15, JON OSSOFF, WHO DEFEATED

INCUMBENT SENATOR AND MAN SHOWING JUST HOW BIG OF A TOOL

HE IS, DAVID PERDUE.

THE BIG NEWS IS, WITH THESE VICTORIES, THE DEMOCRATS WILL

NOW CONTROL THE SENATE.

IT'S BEEN SO LONG, THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE TO FLIP THROUGH THE

OWNER'S MANUAL.

"HEY, HEY, LOOK AT THIS!

DID YOU KNOW WE'RE ALLOWED TO HOLD VOTES?

OOH, HEATED POWER SEATS."

IT ALSO MEANS THAT SENATOR CHUCK SCHUMER WILL REPLACE SENATOR

MITCH McCONNELL AS MAJORITY LEADER.

THAT OUGHT TO WIPE THE SMILE OFF OF McCONNELL'S...

FACE?

CAN WE CHECK, JIM?

THE SENATE WILL ACTUALLY BE SPLIT 50-50, WITH VICE

PRESIDENT-ELECT KAMALA HARRIS HOLDING THE TIEBREAKER THAT

DETERMINES CONTROL.

SO, ESSENTIALLY, HARRIS IS STILL GOING TO BE A SENATOR.

PRETTY ON BRAND FOR AMERICA TO ELECT THEIR FIRST WOMAN VICE

PRESIDENT AND MAKE HER DO HER OLD JOB,TOO.

ONLY PAY HER FOR ONE OF THEM.

FAILURE FALLS AT THE FEET OF THE PRESIDENT.

THE GEORGIA G.O.P. NEEDED HIM TO RALLY HIS BASE, BUT INSTEAD, HE

DEMONIZED THE STATE'S REPUBLICAN LEADERS AND PEDDLED BASELESS

CLAIMS THAT GEORGIA'S ELECTORAL SYSTEM WAS RIGGED.

NOT EXACTLY A WINNING STRATEGY.

IT REMINDS ME OF THIS STIRRING PREGAME SPEECH FROM COACH

TAYLOR: >> RIGGED GAME!

YOU SUCK!

LET'S LOSE!

>> Stephen: EVEN ONE OF THE PRESIDENT'S OWN ADVISERS

SAID,"THE PRESIDENT (BLEEP) THE PARTY.

HE (BLEEP) THE PARTY.

SO THE BAD NEWS FOR THE G.O.P.

IS YOU GOT SCREWED.

THE GOOD NEWS?

YOU GET A CHECK FOR $130,000.

( ♪ GROOVE IS IN THE HEART ♪ ) >> ONE MORE SLAM FOR THE ROAD!

>> Stephen: THIS COMES AFTER THE PRESIDENT ALREADY LOST IN

GEORGIA IN NOVEMBER, THEN LOST A RECOUNT, THEN LOST A RECOUNT OF

THE RECOUNT, AND THEN, TUESDAY, LOST TWO RUNOFFS.

THIS GUY HAS LOST GEORGIA FIVE TIMES.

AND WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO SHOW FOR IT?

>> YOU GET NOTHING!

YOU LOSE!

GOOD DAY, SIR!

>> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR THAT ANALYSIS, WILLY.

SPEAKING OF THE PRESIDENT LOSING: THE PRESIDENT LOST.

WHICH MEANS BIDEN'S INAUGURATION IS GOING TO HAPPEN ON JANUARY

20, WHETHER THE PRESIDENT LIKES IT OR NOT.

FOR THE RECORD, NOT.

THANKS TO THE PANDEMIC, THEY'RE MAKING SOME ADJUSTMENTS TO

BIDEN'S SWEARING-IN CEREMONY.

FOR INSTANCE, THEY'VE ELIMINATED THE TRADITIONAL INAUGURAL

PARADE.

SO TO ALL YOU DIE-HARD INAUG-HEADS OUT THERE, I'M

SORRY.

YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO GO STAND IN THE COLD AND WAVE AT TRAFFIC ON

YOUR OWN TIME.

CANCELLING THE PARADE IS JUST PART OF WHAT THE INAUGURAL

COMMITTEE SAYS WILL BE A SIGNIFICANTLY SCALED-DOWN

CEREMONY THAT WILL FEATURE STRINGENT HEALTH AND SAFETY

PROTOCOLS.

OF COURSE, THE CURRENT PRESIDENT WAS WAY AHEAD OF THE CURVE ON

SOCIALLY DISTANCED INAUGURATION.

SPEAKING OF STAINS ON THE COUNTRY THAT WILL LINGER LONG

PAST THIS PRESIDENT, WE'RE STILL IN THE MIDDLE OF AN

UNPRECEDENTED PANDEMIC.

AND IT'S CHANGED THE WAY WE DO ALMOST EVERYTHING, INCLUDING

WATCHING MOVIES.

WE'RE CATCHING EVEN THE BIGGEST NEW BLOCKBUSTERS AT HOME ON THE

COUCH, AND LAST MONTH, WARNER BROTHERS ANNOUNCED ALL ITS 2021

FILMS WILL ARRIVE IN THEATERS AND STREAMING ON HBO MAX

SIMULTANEOUSLY, INCLUDING "THE MATRIX 4."

THAT'S SO EXCITING!

I CAN'T WAIT TO ESCAPE INTO A FANTASY WORLD WHERE ALL HUMAN

CONTACT IS VIRTUAL AND WE'RE KEPT IMMOBILE WHILE CONSUMING

HIGH-CALORIE SLUDGE.

EVERYONE IS WONDERING WHEN GOING TO THE MOVIES AND WHEN IT WILL

FEEL NORMAL AGAIN.

AND WHEN THAT TIME FINALLY COMES, WE'VE GOT A PREVIEW OF

THE MOST-ANTICIPATED FILM OF THE YEAR.

>> OUR WORLD WAS ABANDONED.

THE PEOPLE DEIFIED IT, ALONE AND AFRAID.

DESPERATE FOR A WAY TO COME TOGETHER.

DESPERATE FOR A MOVIE.

REALLY, ANY MOVIE IN A THEATER WOULD BE GREAT.

>> A ROMANTIC COMEDY, A SPY THRILLER, OR ANOTHER MARVEL

THING.

I WOULD EVEN SIT THROUGH ONE OF THOSE MOVIES WHERE A DOG TEACHES

THE FAMILY THE TRUE MEANING OF JESUS-- OR WHATEVER.

>> TOGETHER, WE WILL SEE THE LIGHT.

WE WILL HEAR THE SOUND.

AND TOGETHER, WE WILL HAVE TO SIT THROUGH 20 MINUTES OF ADS

BEFORE THEY EVEN START THE PREVIEWS.

>> A MUTINY OF FLAVOR IN EVERY BITE.

♪ ♪ ♪ >> WAIT, THERE'S 400 NEW HOURS

OF "STAR WARS" COMING?

MAYBE I'M GOOD.

>> THIS FILM IS NOT YET RATED AS THE FUTURE REMAINS A DARK

ENIGMA.

>> Stephen: WE'VE GOT A BLOCKBUSTER OF A SHOW FOR YOU

TONIGHT.

I'M UNVEILING A NEW INTERVIEW SEGMENT CALLED "THE COLBERT

QUESTIONNAIR," WHERE I ASK THE SAME SET OF QUESTIONS TO

SUPERSTARS MERYL STREEP, GEORGE CLOONEY, AND TOM HANKS.

WHICH ONE IS FIRST?

YOU HAVE TO STICK AROUND TO FIND OUT.

IT'S HANKS.

♪ ♪ ♪