Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles - [Lauren] The brothers were like, "Let's not get married. "Why don't we all just like, be together? "We'll just be like a unit." And Katharine's like, "Maybe I'll meet someone "I actually like, like you guys are my brothers, "and I don't really feel like that about you guys, "and I don't think I should feel like that about you guys." They're like, "No, no, no, no, no. "Let's just stick together and be like a thing." (dramatic music) - Hello, I am Paget Brewster, and today we are going to talk about the Kellogg brothers. In 1876, Dr. John Kellogg created a sanitarium in Battle Creek, Michigan, except he was an orator in the Seventh Day Adventist church. He tells his patients no sex, no meat, no alcohol, no sugar, no anything prurient or sensual. (bleep) Aren't you guys tired? Psh, shh! - Can I? All right. - He tells his patients, "You need to take "at least two solid, ropy poops per day." In 1880, Dr. John reaches out to his younger brother, Will, who he beat up the whole time he was growing up, and he says, "Hey, leave that broom company. "I got to this, you know, sanitarium spa thing. "There's over 1,000 people a week here, "hanging out, swimming and doing stuff. "You should just come and, you know, "help me out with everything." And Will says, "Okay, I gotta get the (bleep) outta here." Will, he's just sort of this sad little whipping boy for his big famous brother, John. He actually said, "I use my brother "as a foot warmer in the winter." I don't even know what that means. Like, he beat him up and he stuck his feet under him for the, anyway. He has to shave him. He actually has to call his own brother Dr. Kellogg. And has to run the kitchen, and has to run the books. So, Dr. John tells his younger brother Will, "Hey, make something that people want to eat, "because no one wants vegetarian food. "So, you do this cause I'm busy. "I gotta, you know, do lectures and stuff." So Will, whose bookkeeping office is next to the kitchen. One night, he's trying to make this stupid vegetarian (bleep). He leaves the dough out. He comes in the next morning, and the dough that he left out has molded. And he's like, oh goddamnit, (bleep) is moldy. (bleep) it, I'm on a budget. And he puts it through the grinder anyway. And the small amount of mold made that dough flakes, cornflakes! And he's like, oh, oh (bleep), oh we made, I made a cereal! So he tells John, John comes down oh, you know, and then they start producing this cereal, cornflakes, like cornflakes that we all know, that Will discovered with mold. One week, C.W. Post, this industrialist is visiting, and John says, "Oh, you should see "the cornflakes we're making. "We're making our own cereal." And Will is saying, "Oh, no, don't, I made that. "Don't you say," and... Oh, oh, I'm not talkin' right. All together, but close enough. C.W. Post steals it, sells it, makes a million dollars. So Will's like, "(bleep) you man, "you (bleep) me, you (bleep) us! "If we add sugar, we can sell the cereal." And John says, "You can't put sugar on it. "That's not Seventh Day Adventist. "Who do you think you are?" Will says, "Oh, you know, you know who I think I am? "I think I'm the guy who invented (bleep) cornflakes. "I'm gonna put sugar on 'em and sell 'em and (bleep) you." So he takes his cereal, and he sets up the Kellogg Toasted Flakes Company. Will makes it a million dollar enterprise. He's like, I'm putting sugar on my (bleep), you! The younger brother now finally comes out of his older brother's shadow, and becomes a huge American industrialist. The brothers sue each other back and forth for 10 years. I want the name of Kellogg's. I want the name of Kellogg's. I want the name of Kellogg's. No, I deserve it. I made the, whatever. So, Will, this younger brother, wins the name in federal court. I'm gonna burp. - [Derek] It's okay. - I hope it's just a burp. Will is a huge industrialist in the United States. He invents a bunch of cereals. Meanwhile, John loses all credibility. In 1943, John is on his death bed. He writes to his younger brother, having not spoken for the past 20 years. And he gave it to his social secretary, or whatever. He had no family. His only family was Will. She never sent it, but Will eight years later, also dying, blind, was told on his deathbed, "Your brother wrote a letter "eight years ago saying, "I'm sorry, I screwed up, I apologize. "I treated you as a lesser man, "when in fact I was the lesser man." Essentially that's what he said. I read it, but I can't remember entirely. But that's essentially what he said. Sorry. Will sat up on his deathbed, and said "Good God, "why didn't anyone tell me about this before now?" And he died! (dramatic music) That's just awful. - Yeah. - That's the (bleep) worst. (cereal crunching) Yeah, but right? Like, Will was right. You wanna put some sugar on 'em. - Yeah, it is lacking sugar. - Otherwise it's just mold. Mold flakes. That's good. - How's it going? I'm Hollywood's J.D. Ryznar, and today we're gonna talk about the Fox sisters, and all the ghosts they talked to. - I'm gonna prove you wrong on that. - So, our story begins in the 1840s in the small farmhouse of the Fox family. And it's a spooky house. They hear sounds at night, and knocks on the door. Phantom steps on the stairs. (fist knocking) And young Maggie and Katy Fox run into their parents' room and say, "Mom, Dad, there's a fricking ghost in our room! "You gotta come check it out." And the mom runs into the room, and the girls are like, "Ghost, are you there?" Tap, rap, ghost, are you there? Rap two times for yes, three times for no. And the ghost goes (knocks twice), and the mom's like, "Oh my, holy smokes! "It's a ghost in our house!" What they learned from the rapper, once they figured out a special code, was that this ghost was a peddler who was murdered, and buried in their cellar. And the mom, she starts bringing neighbors over and everybody was like, "Oh my, these girls "can talk to ghosts and the spirits of the dead. "This is the real deal!" So, fearing for their daughters' souls, Ma and Pa Fox send Maggie and Katy off to live with their sister Leah in Rochester, New York. And when Leah saw their skills with communicating to ghosts, she was like "I'm gonna be your manager, "and we're gonna make a lot of money!" So she invites the press, and the press comes, and they're skeptical. They're like, "These ghost girls can't talk to ghosts. "This is garbage." But Maggie and Katy are so good, they convince the press, like your sister has three dead babies. And he's like, my sister has three dead babies, I believe you! And all the sudden, everybody believes it. And the Fox sisters were the first people ever to be called mediums. And so, this new thing called spiritualism lights a blaze across the United States of America. But wait, stop the reenactment, because guess what, Derek Waters? It's all bullshit. (J.D. babbles) You ever see "Wayne's World?" - [Derek] Of course I've seen "Wayne's World." - That's what they do when they do a flashback. We're gonna do one now. This is gonna be good. Make the picture look wavy. (J.D. babbles) So, here's what really happened. Maggie and Katy are pulling pranks on their parents. On April Fools Eve, the girls are tying apples to strings and making sounds up the stairs. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Katy says to Maggie, "You know how you can snap your toes "Like you snap your fingers? "You should do that, and they'll think it's the ghosts, "because they're dumb!" So they were cracking their toe knuckles, and snapping their toes like this. And that was the raps the ghosts made. These little kids were (bleep) with their mom. Next thing they knew they're making money, but Maggie says to Katy like, "Hey, this is not quite a good idea, "'cause we're kinda foolin' people into this." And Katy's like, "We should keep doing this "'cause this is fun! "We're making people believe anything they want, "we're making people feel good." (blows raspberry) It's 1888. Once the girls got super rich, rippin' people off with their fancy ghost stories, they just drinkin' booze and talkin' to each other, going like, "I feel so shitty that we're rippin' people off "and makin' 'em feel good about talking to dead people." And so, Maggie sells tickets to a show at a theater where she's gonna expose spiritualism as a fraud. People file in, they're like, "Let's hear what's happened." So Maggie takes the stage in this theater and is like, "Here's how we do it." And she takes off her stocking, and she's like, "I click my toes, like this." (snapping fingers) I can't do it. If I could do it, I'd be making $1,000 a week as a stupid medium making people think they're talkin' to their dead babies. Boop, boop, boop! Give me $1,000. Boop, boop, boop, give me another $1,000. Boop, boop, I'm rich. Maggie gives this big presentation. She gives away all her secrets. At the end of her speech, she says "Spiritualism is the greatest curse mankind has ever known." And the audience is like, (bleep) her, we like talkin' to ghosts. Spiritualism has taken off at that point, and so basically what Maggie Fox has done is made her and her sisters irrelevant. So after Maggie realizes that her life is nothing once she's not a medium, she just drank a bunch of booze 'til she died. (J.D. slurping) (J.D. sighs) (eerie music) Decades later, after the girls were dead, after it was all over, sometime in the 1900s, early 1900s, some fan of theirs was snooping around the foundation of their old farmhouse. And found some bones. The bones of the ghosts they were initially talking to? - Oh shit. - A lotta people said it was chicken bones, and other bones. So it was not really, you can't really take a lot out of it, but maybe it's the bones of people. I don't know, I don't know, it might be real, it might be fake, I don't know. I just crossed some sort of drunken threshold. - Hello, I'm Mike Still. And today we're gonna talk about the Kopp sisters. The original lady badasses. Mm, ooh. So, our story starts in 1914 in Paterson, New Jersey, and Constance Kopp and her sisters Norma and Fleurette go out to lunch. They're eating sandwiches and 1914 drinks. And all the sudden, they hear this loud noise. Beep beep, pew, ah! (Mike whinnies) (Mike sputtering) Brew, rah, ah-ah. (both laughing) (Mike snorts) So, their horse and carriage cart was smashed by an automobile. Who was driving this automobile? It was Henry Kaufman. And he was a mean little guy who owned the Paterson Silk Dying Corporation. Constance comes out and she's like, "Yo, what the (bleep) happened to my buggy?" "Ah, I don't know, who cares? "You're a woman. "I'm Henry Kaufman, I'm the king of silk. "I'm not gonna worry about some horse and buggy bullshit. "(bleep) you!" So he drives off in his car. But Constance was just like no, we're not gonna let this guy walk over us. We're going to email, we're gonna write him a letter and say, "Give me 50 bucks, give us 50 bucks." So, they go to their farm, and she sends a letter to Henry Kaufman. Doesn't hear a response. So a few weeks go by, and a brick goes through their farmhouse window. Oh my god, what's that? I don't know, a brick. Who would do it? I don't know. A week later, Norma went out to the outhouse behind the farmhouse, and bam bam, she was getting shot at! She runs back inside. "Guys, I was tryin' to take a dump "and I was getting shot at!" So the Kopp sisters are starting to get so pissed off about this. So, they go to the county prosecutor, and they say, "Look, we're getting harassed. "We're getting threatened. "You need to help us out here. "You need to send some people over to our farm." And he's like, "I don't know. "I don't believe you. "There's no proof. "There's no proof." But, the sheriff of Bergen County, Robert Heath, overheard what they were talking about. And Sheriff Heath was like, "I'll help you, lil ladies. "I'll teach you how to help yourself." So Sheriff Heath gives all three of the Kopp sisters a gun. So he taught them how to use the guns. Aim up, aim at your target. (Mike imitating gunfire) He let them hold the guns, and kiss guns, whatever you do to guns! (Derek chuckles) And that's a fact. (Derek laughs) So, the media heard about the Kopp sisters, and they became a sensation. So you think these people would give up, like these ladies are armed, they're dangerous. No, the Kopp sisters got an extortion letter and it said, "Bring $1,000 to the corner "of Broadway and Carol and meet a man in black. "We know where you live. "We're gonna kill your farm, "and kill the cows, and kill you. "We're gonna murder you. "We're gonna smash you up." Signed, H.K. and Company. Which, I mean that's Henry Kaufman! It's his initials, like it's clearly Mr. Silk himself. So Constance wasn't gonna have this. She's like, "I'm taking this in my own hands." So, she goes to the corner of Broadway and Carol, and the man in black shows up, but she's not alone. She has backup from Sheriff Heath. He's like, (Mike stammers). And then he realizes the jig is up and he runs! And Sheriff Heath is like, "Go, go, go!" (frantic music) And they capture him. And they're like, well, how do we prove it was Henry Kaufman? New science, handwriting analysis. They hired William J. Kingsley to examine the handwriting. And William J. Kingsley said, "Oh my God! This is the same as Henry Kaufman. "We know that he is the criminal "that went after the Kopp sisters." And because it was his handwriting, and he used post office, it became a federal crime. And he went to jail for abusing the mail. So, Constance Kopp brought down this kingpin everyone was scared of in New Jersey, and Sheriff Heath was so impressed. He said, "Well, Henry, Kaufman's under arrest, "and I want you to be under sheriff of Bergen County." And she became America's first female sheriff. And then the Kopp sisters started their own detective agency and they solved cases, and they found out, there were crimes and everything. So Constance's achievements, man, it's so hard to say. She was (snorts) sorry. So Constance's achievements became world renowned. So, when Constance passed away, everyone's very sad. - The others, did they continue as detectives? - They didn't continue as detectives. Fleurette was really into fashion and music and singing and stuff, and you know her as Madonna. No, that's not true. That's not true. - Oh boy, I love to be happy. Why else am I here? (Derek laughs) I'm Jenny Slate, and today we are going to talk about the Cherry sisters, the worst act on Vaudeville, ever. Ever, the very worst. Our story begins in the 1890s. The Cherry sisters were living on a farm in Iowa that had been left to them. Their names were Ella, Elizabeth, Effie, Addie, and Jessie. They had a brother, Nathan, and he just peaced out. He was like, "Uh, actually, definitely not. "I'm not like even doing this." And all the sisters were like, boo, what the hell, or heck actually. 'Cause they were very prim. They were like, "Our farm's gonna fail. "We truly don't get how to do this, "and we don't have enough money to operate the farm. "Let's just try to get money from that, "for that, am I right?" And they were all like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. "Let's put on a show." So they like rented out a theater. These sisters were just like, "We're putting on a play. "The play is going to consist of a lot of segments "that are boring, and also will make you feel nervous "about what you're doing in your life." So it would be like, there was a young lady just like free in the world, how dangerous. And then a Don Juan comes out, and he's like, I want you for sex. You know? And then a gypsy woman would come out, and she'd be like, don't do it. Don't, 'cause he's gonna take your morality. And that was like the whole thing. And it was like baffling to everyone. They were like, ah, I can't believe these ladies showed up and like even are here, and like did this. After they were done, they were so shocked because they were like, this is an assload of money. They made $250. So the Cherry sisters, they were like, "We should take this on the road!" Even though it was really, really, really bad! So, they went on the road, all across Iowa. They did a show in Cedar Rapids. One of their songs is called "Corn Juice." ♪ Corn juice ♪ ♪ Let me tell you 'bout it ♪ (Jenny laughs) It's just like, what are you talking about? You definitely can't make juice out of corn. I've had it. - Yeah. - There's no juice in there. Five, six, seven, eight. ♪ If you're lost in your corn ♪ ♪ I will find juice ♪ ♪ Corn after juice ♪ - Beautiful. (both laughing) Everyone's like, "You suck!" (Derek laughing) So, the next day, the newspaper was like, this is a bad show. These ladies truly don't know what's up. You probably shouldn't see this show unless you want to see it, because it's so very bad that it's like kind of confusing all of us. And they marched right down to the Cedar Rapids Gazette. And they were like, "How dare you say this?" And the Cedar Rapids Gazette was like, "Huh, you're like incredulous, "you can't understand why we said this?" And they're like, "You know what? "We're gonna sue you for libel." And the newspaper was like, ech, that's actually hilarious. But, if you want to sue us, you're gonna have to sue us during your show. And so, they did! They got a real judge to sit there, being like, "Ooh," like, "Order, order. "I'll be the judge of how bad they are, "plus newspaper are you telling the truth?" And at the end, the editor of the newspaper was found guilty, and sentenced to marry one of the five sisters. - [Derek] (bleep) off. - Yeah. So sad. So, after this, they toured all the time. It was kind of the first like, it's so bad it's good situation? Groups of people were like, the Cherry sisters are coming to town. Let's get together all the people that we know and like, buy a (bleep) load of vegetables, and find a lot of cans so that we can throw them at them. And this was a sketch that they did. They sat in the bathtub and they were like, don't get horny, be careful. 'Cause this is like, arms, but you have to be careful 'cause if you show your forearm to someone, their penis will go inside of you. - And you die-- - And then you'll die. Of being cool. (Jenny laughs) People would be like, "You suck!" So, after the sisters had really been on the scene for a while, just stinkin' it up consistently, this man named Oscar Hammerstein, he had a theater, and he was like, "Well, I've tried "all the best (bleep) there. "Maybe I'll try the worst." So he got in touch with the Cherry sisters, and he's like, "Listen, we'll bring you to New York. "You can do whatever you want. "We'll pay you $100 a week." Four of them were like, "Yep, yep, okay, yes," and then the fifth one was like, "No." (Jenny laughs) She stayed there like whatever, brushing the pigs or whatever you do on a farm. And they went to New York, and everyone was like, "You're the worst! "You're horrible! "What a weird thing!" And they sold out, 10 weeks, sold out show, and they made a lot of money. And then, you know, they went home and then they died in obscurity. But, that's what we think. That's not what they thought, and honestly? What they thought is kind of all that matters. Don't you think? - Aww, that was nice. - Thanks, Derek. - That was really nice. - Well, I'm an American woman and I love corn juice. (both laughing) - Hello, I'm Lauren Lapkus, and today we're gonna discuss the Wright brothers and the Wright sister, am I right? (Derek laughs) Okay, so, everyone's really familiar with the Wright brothers. Everyone knows about their planes, and their whole thing, but they didn't know that there's a younger sister, Katharine. So basically our story begins in 1874 in Dayton, Ohio. And basically, she and Orville and Wilbur were like best friends. They'd do like all kinds of old timey activities that were fun for people then. Like, they would collect bones and sell them to fertilizing plants. - Classic thing to do. - Yeah, classic, like bone collecting. And they made a pact together that they were never gonna get married. Like, the brothers were like, "Let's not get married. "Why don't we all just like be together, "and we'll just be like a unit." And Katharine's like, "Maybe I'll meet someone I actually like. "Like, you guys are my brothers "and I don't really feel like that about you guys, "and I don't think I should feel like that about you guys." And they're like, "No, no, no, no, no, "let's just stick together and be like a thing." And she's like, "Fine, I guess." (Lauren snorts) And then basically the brothers started getting really into the idea of manned flight, and they're like, like I don't care about school. I'm gonna work on my planes, and it's like, I wanna work on my planes too. I wanna work on planes with you, I love you, and Katharine was like, I believe in you. And they didn't graduate high school. They were just really focused on the whole plane situation, so meanwhile Katharine graduated from Oberlin College in 1898. So, she was very like smart and successful in her own right. - Oh man. - [Lauren] I didn't want to do that, but I had to. - You have to. (Lauren laughs) - So, when she graduates from college, Orville's like, "I have a present for you. "It's a diamond ring." And she's like, "Okay, are you proposing to me, "or what is this?" He's like, "No, it's like a brother-sister thing. "It's just like a ring, like we'll just be like, "it's like our pact." And she's like, "Okay, it's kinda weird, "but I guess I'll wear it, until I meet someone." He's like, "No, you'll never meet anyone." She's like, "I might meet someone." He's like, "You won't meet anyone." Ooh, I just spilled all over the couch and myself. - That's okay. - Okay. Moving right along. So in 1901, Orville and Wilbur build the Wright glider, and they go to Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, and they're like, "We're gonna fly the first plane ever." (dramatic music) But then it goes really horribly, like falls apart. It was a complete disaster. And basically, they had a horrible time. So basically, they're just like, forget this. Like, this is a nightmare. Like I'm never going to be good at this. Not within 1,000 years will man ever fly a plane. And Katharine's like, "You guys gotta believe in yourselves. "No one's ever done this. "Why would you think it would work perfectly the first time? "You have to try again, and also let me help you "because I'm smarter than both of you." And so they got reinvigorated, and basically they decided they're gonna fly planes again. - You have to drink every time you say basically. (Lauren laughs) - Okay. So, their family had a bicycle shop. And so they were working in this shop, trying out all these different ways to make planes. And Katharine's like, "Let's look at research "from other people who've done this before. "You guys aren't, you're just making it up at this point." She's like translating from German, all these languages. And she's like, "This says, you need to fly like this. "You have to go and make the wings like, bigger, "or make the wings taller, "and believe in it more, and all this stuff." And they created a whole new plane together. And so, basically-- - Ah, you gotta drink, basically. - Oh shit. Okay, so December 17th, 1903, they try it again at Kitty Hawk, and Orville Wright fowered, powered the first flight 20 feet above the ground, and it's epic. And I don't like the word epic, but I said it here because it's accurate. It's a really big deal, and they had like 700 successful flights. They're up, and they're down, they're all over the place. (Lauren burps) So like, Katharine flies in the plane for the first time ever, and she was like, "I feel like a bird, and birds are so happy, "and birds sing because they're happy." So Wilbur's like, "We couldn't have done it without you. "I love you." So then, years later, Katharine is like, "All right, (bleep) this, I'm getting married. I'm 52, I might as well get married at this point. I feel like the pact is over. Meanwhile, Orville's like, "No, the pact's not done. "I hate you, I'm not gonna speak to you ever again," and she's like, "Whatever, I have this dude now "and I don't really care if you don't talk to me anymore," and they make out in front of Orville and it's really rude. (both laughing) It's so dumb. - [Derek] It's really rude. - It's so rude. Orville's like, "Damn, this blows." We all have known about Orville and Wilbur for as long as we all have lived, but if they didn't have Katharine, they wouldn't have had the belief in themselves and the confidence, and they wouldn't have had the ability to translate things to know how things really work. There's always someone else behind the scenes who's helping people. Maybe that's not true, I take it back, but sometimes there is. - You got that right. - You got that right! - You got the right one, baby, uh-huh. - Uh-huh. (both laughing) (dramatic music)
B1 bleep boop maggie derek constance sheriff Siblings Who Made History - Drunk History 7 0 林宜悉 posted on 2021/01/27 More Share Save Report Video vocabulary