WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."

歡迎回到 "深夜秀"。

LET'S SAY HI TO JON BATISTE.

讓我們向JON BATISTE問好。

HELLO, JON.

你好，喬恩。

>> Jon: HELLO, STEPHEN.

>> 喬恩你好，史蒂芬。

HOW YOU DOING?

你怎麼做？

>> Stephen: I'M DOING REALLY WELL.

>> 史蒂芬：我做得很好。

YOU KNOW, WE'RE NOT ACTUALLY -- WE'RE OFF NEXT WEEK.

你知道，我們實際上不是 - 我們下週休息。

>> Jon: RIGHT.

>> 喬恩。右邊。

>> Stephen: SO WE'RE NOT GOING TO BE HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT, I

>> 所以，我們不會在這裡談論它，我。

WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT NOW.

想現在就談。

YOU AND THE BAND AND SOME OTHER BANDS AROUND THE WORLD ARE

你和樂隊以及世界上其他一些樂隊都是。

PUTTING TOGETHER THIS AMAZING CARNIVAL MARDI GRAS MUSICAL

把這個令人驚奇的狂歡節音樂劇放在一起

PIECE THAT I SAW TODAY THAT'S FANTASTIC.

我今天看到的一件事，真是太棒了。

TELL ME ABOUT THIS THING.

告訴我這件事。

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE YOU'RE PLAYING WITH?

和你一起玩的這些人是誰？

>> WE'RE PLAYING WITH K OH SS.

>> 我們在玩K OH SS。

AT AND CHARLES AND GREAT MUSICIANS DOING "IS A VA NA

在和查爾斯和偉大的音樂家做 "是VA NA"。

GRASS" THE SONG OF CARNIVAL LAST YEAR AND A QUARTET FROM BRAZIL,

草 "去年狂歡節的歌曲和巴西的四重奏。

SANTOS WHO IS FEATURED IN THERE DOING TRADITIONAL BRAZIL MUSIC

桑托斯是誰在那裡做傳統的巴西音樂的特色。

FROM CARNIVAL.

從CARNIVAL。

WE CAN'T BE TOGETHER FOR CARNIVAL THIS YEAR, BUT THIS IS

我們不能在今年的狂歡節上相聚，但這是我們的目標。

THE BEST WE'RE GOING TO GET.

我們將得到的最好的。

>> Stephen: I HEARD THIS.

>> 我聽說了。

IT WILL COME OUT ON MARDI GRAS.

它將會在狂歡節上出來。

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

>> 沒錯。

>> Stephen: WE'LL POINT IT OUT ON SOCIAL MEDIA, BUT PLEASE

>> 史蒂芬：我們會在社交媒體上指出它，但請。

CHECK IT OUT.

檢查出來。

I LISTENED TO IT TODAY AND I LEVITATED.

我今天聽了它，我升值了。

OFF THE GROUND.

離地。

YOU COULD HAVE PASSED A HOOP UNDERNEATH ME.

你可以在我身下穿過一個圈。

>> Jon: YEAH, RIGHT.

>> 喬恩。是的，沒錯。

>> Stephen: WELL, JON, GIVE ME A LASTLA LITTLE DAYS BEFORE WE

>> 好了，喬恩，給我最後幾天的時間，然後我們就可以開始了。

GO OFF INTO YOUR LITTLE MARDI GRAS WEEK.

進入你的小狂歡周。

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?

你有什麼？

>> Jon: YES, INDEED.

>> 喬恩。是的，確實如此。

♪♪♪ >> Stephen: JON BATISTE,

>> JON BATISTE,

EVERYBODY.

每個人。

THANKS, JON, STAY SAFE.

謝謝，喬恩，保持安全。

>> Jon: YES, INDEED.

>> 喬恩。是的，確實如此。

>> Stephen: FOLKS, YOU KNOW I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME

>> Stephen:夥計們，你們知道我大部分的時間都在

SCOUTING THE WORLD FOR THE MOST HIGHLY-TRAINED AND TOPICAL

在全球範圍內尋找訓練有素、主題鮮明的人才。

BALLERINAS, BUILDING STATE-OF-THE-ART SETS, ADDING

球類運動，建造一流的設備，增加新的設備。

DRAMATIC CUTTING-EDGE LIGHTING, AND A VIRTUOSIC 110-PIECE

DRAMATIC CUTTING-EDGE LIGHTING，以及VIRTUOSIC 110-PIECE。

ORCHESTRA TO MOUNT FOR YOU THE EPIC PRODUCTION OF "SWAN LAKE"

樂團為你量身打造《天鵝湖》這部史詩般的作品

THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.

這是我的獨白。

BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES I LIKE TO HOP IN MY BUSTED OUT R.V.,

但有時，有時我喜歡在我的破舊的R. V. 跳躍。

SLAM SOME AMYL NITRITE POPPERS, AND TROLL AROUND LUMBER YARDS

砸一些甲基硝石爆米花，然後在路邊院子裡溜達。

FOR EX-CON LOGROLLERS, SET-UP A DISCARDED BOOM BOX WITH A MIAMI

對於EX-CON LOGROLLERS，設置一個廢棄的BOOM BOX和一個MIAMI的BOOM BOX。

SOUND MACHINE TAPE STUCK INSIDE IT, PROMISE THE BOYS A FREE HOT

錄音機錄音帶插在裡面，答應給孩子們一個免費的熱。

DOG AND A SCRATCH-OFF, SO I CAN CHARGE BOARDWALK TOURISTS A

狗和一個刮刮樂，所以我可以收取木板路旅遊者一個。

NICKLE A POP TO WATCH THE HOBO ZUMBA CLASS OF NEWS THAT IS MY

鎳一個OP觀看HOBO ZUMBA類的新聞，這是我的。

SEGMENT: "QUARANTINE-WHILE!"

SEGMENT: "QUARANTINE-WHILE！"QUARANTINE -WHILE！"

QUARANTINE-WHILE, EVER SINCE WINNING HIS SEVENTH SUPER BOWL

誇誇其談，自從贏得了他的第七個超級碗之後

ON SUNDAY, TOM BRADY HAS BEEN DOING EXACTLY WHAT YOU THINK HE

週日，TOM BRADY一直在做你認為他做的事情。

IS: EXISTING IN A THEORETICAL PLASMA STATE BETWEEN HUMAN AND

是：存在於人與人之間的理論等離子體狀態。

PURE ALCOHOL.

純粹的酒精。

NOW, GIVEN WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT HIS EXTREMELY STRICT NUTRITION

現在，鑑於我們所知道的關於他極度嚴格的營養情況

REGIMEN, YOU MIGHT ASSUME HE GOT THAT HAMMERED JUST BY WALKING

REGIMEN，你可以認為他只是走著走著就被打成這樣了。

PAST THE COUGH SYRUP AISLE AT CVS.

經過CVS的UGH SYRUP AISLE。

BUT I HAPPEN TO KNOW FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE THAT TOM

但我碰巧從個人經驗中知道，湯姆---------------------。

BRADY CAN DELIVER BOOZE TO HIS OWN BODY LIKE IT'S FOURTH AND

BRADY能把酒送到他自己的身體上，就像它的第四個和第五個一樣

GOAL AND HIS STOMACH IS ROB GRONKOWSKI.

進球了，他的臀部是羅伯-格隆科夫斯基。

SO, I ASSUME, FOR FOUR STRAIGHT DAYS, HE'S BEEN CONSUMING

所以，我猜測，連續四天，他一直在消費... ...

MARGARITAS VIA GATORADE SHOWER.

馬加里塔斯VIA GATORADE SHOWER。

BUT THE BRADY FOOTAGE EVERYONE IS REALLY TALKING ABOUT IS OF

但是，大家都在談論的BRADY鏡頭是的

HIM, AND HIS TEAMMATES PARTYING ON SEPARATE BOOZE BARGES

他和他的夥伴們分別在不同的船舷上聚會

AND BRADY'S HAIL MARY PASS OF THE LOMBARDI TROPHY OVER THE

和布拉迪的聖母瑪利亞號在倫巴底獎盃上的傳球。

WATER TO BUCS TIGHT END CAMERON BRATE.

水到渠成的BUCS右後衛CAMERON BRATE。

>> OH!

>> 哦！

( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERING )

（笑） （歡呼）

( HORN BLOWING ) >> Stephen: THAT IS RISKY!

( 喇叭聲 ) >> 史蒂芬：那是很危險的!

THE LOMBARDI COULD'VE WOUND UP AT THE BOTTOM OF THE RIVER.

倫巴第號可能會在河底沉沒。

REACHED FOR COMMENT, BRADY SAID "WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

徵求意見時，布拉迪說："有什麼大不了的？

EVERYONE HAS LIKE SIX MORE OF THESE, RIGHT?"

每個人都有六種以上的，對吧？"

THOUGH I GOTTA SAY, I PERSONALLY WOULD FIND FOOTBALL A LOT MORE

雖然我得說，我個人會發現足球更多的

COMPELLING IF, INSTEAD OF A BALL, THOSE QUARTERBACKS WERE

令人信服的是，如果，這些四分衛不是球，而是

DRILLING THEIR RECEIVERS WITH A TOP-HEAVY SEVEN-POUND HUNK OF

用最重的七磅重的東西鑽進接球者的身體裡。

POINTY METAL.

尖銳的金屬。

KICKERS WOULD BE ON THE SIDELINES PRAYING "DON'T GET

踢球者會在邊線上祈禱 "不要得到"。

WITHIN FIELD GOAL RANGE!

在球場範圍內！

DON'T GET WITHIN FIELD GOAL RANGE!"

不要進入場內射程！"

QUARANTINE-WHILE, HOT MALE POLITICIANS GETTING VACCINATED

IS 2021'S STRANGEST THIRST TRAP.

是2021年最奇怪的第三種陷阱。

WRONG.

錯了

THIS YEAR'S STRANGEST THIRST TRAP IS THE MOUNTAIN DEW MAJOR

今年最詭異的第三條路線是DEW MAJOR山。

MELON SUPERBOWL AD.

MELON超級碗廣告。

IT LEFT ME DEEPLY CONFUSED.

這讓我非常困惑。

DO I WANT TO DRINK THIS DOG?

我想喝這隻狗嗎？

BUT PEOPLE ARE INTO PICS OF HOT EUROPEAN POLITICIANS GETTING THE

但人們都在熱歐洲政治家的照片得到的圖片

COVID VACCINE, LIKE GREEK PRIME MINISTER KYRIAKOS MITSOTAKIS,

COVID VACCINE，像希臘總理KYRIAKOS MITSOTAKIS。

AND CROATIAN FINANCE MINISTER ZDRAVKO MARICH, SEEN HERE AS

和克羅地亞財政部長茲德拉夫科-馬里奇，見於此。

DOCTORS TRY TO FIND A NEEDLE SHARP ENOUGH TO PENETRATE THAT

醫生們試圖找到一個足夠鋒利的針頭，以便能穿透它。

TRICEP.

TRICEP：

ARE THEY TRYING TO FIND A CURE FOR DELTOIDS?

他們是想找到治療三角肌的方法嗎？

AND WHAT IS WITH THAT LIGHTING?

那燈光是怎麼回事？

THIS LOOKS LIKE A ONE MAN SHOW ABOUT A GUY WHO WAS TOO SEXY TO

這看起來像一個人的表演，關於一個人誰是太性感的人。

BE FINANCE MINISTER.

成為財政部長。

I BET THAT DOCTOR IS TAKING HIS TIME WITH THAT SWAB.

我敢打賭，醫生正在採取他的時間與該拭子。

"JUST SO YOU KNOW, THE BEST WAY TO STERILIZE THE AREA IS FOR ME

"你要知道，最好的方法是讓我對該地區進行消毒處理

TO GENTLY SQUEEZE IT."

要輕輕地擠壓它。"

OH, YEAH, WE'RE ALMOST THERE.

哦，是的，我們就快到了。

BUT THE GUY WHO STARTED IT ALL WAS FRENCH HEALTH MINISTER

但這一切的始作俑者是法國衛生部長

OLIVIER VERAN, WHO TWEETED THIS PIC OF HIMSELF WITH ONLY THE

OLIVIER VERAN，他在微博上發了這張自己的照片，只用了 "我"。

WORD "VACCINEÉ."

WORD "VACCINEÉ"。

A GREAT PUBLIC HEALTH MESSAGE AND GOOD P.R. FOR THE LAUNCH OF

一個很好的公共衛生資訊和良好的公關，為啟動的。

HIS NEW FRAGRANCE "VACCINEÉ."

他的新香水 "VACCINEÉ"。

THE ONLY THING CONTAGIOUS NOW...

現在唯一有爭議的是... ...

IS PASSION.

是激情。

( IN FRENCH ACCENT ) CONTINUE ON...

（法語口音）繼續... ...

QUARANTINE-WHILE, IT'S BLACK HISTORY MONTH AND SOME PROGRESS

QUARANTINE----------------------------------黑色歷史月和一些進展

IS BEING DRIZZLED ON A STACK OF INJUSTICE BECAUSE PEPSI-CO, INC.

因為PEPSI-CO, INC.的原因，正在被一樁樁的冤案弄得暈頭轉向。

HAS ANNOUNCED IT IS RE-BRANDING AUNT JEMIMA TO "PEARL MILLING

已宣佈將阿姨JEMIMA重新命名為 "珍珠磨坊"。

COMPANY."

公司。"

THAT IS BORING.

這是無聊的。

TRULY, THE "WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM" OF PANCAKE MIX.

真正的，"華盛頓足球隊 "的PANCAKE MIX。

THAT COULDN'T BE MORE DULL IF THEY'D NAMED IT "THE

如果他們把它命名為 "The"，那就再無聊不過了。

CONSOLIDATED BREAKFAST CONSORTIUM AND GLOBAL PANCAKE

合併早餐聯盟和全球薄脆餅協會

INDUSTRIES, L.L.C. MIXABLE MORNING PASTE."

工業，L.L.C.混合早飯。"

THE NAME COMES FROM THE 19TH-CENTURY BUSINESS THAT

這個名字來自19世紀的商業公司，它的名字是："我"。

CREATED THE ORIGINAL PANCAKE MIX.

創造了最初的PANCAKE MIX。

CAN WE TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AT THE NEW LOGO?

我們可以再看看新LOGO嗎？

OKAY, THEY KEPT THE SAME COLOR SCHEME AND FONT SIZE, WAIT A

好吧，他們保持了同樣的顏色和字體大小，等一下。

SEC, CAN WE ZOOM IN TO THE RIGHT CORNER?

證券交易委員會，我們可以放大到右邊的角落？

JUMPIN JEHOSHAPHAT!

JUMPIN JEHOSHAPHAT！

IT STILL SAYS AUNT JEMIMA ON THE BOX, AND SAYS "NEW NAME, SAME

盒子上還寫著 "傑米瑪阿姨"，還說 "新名字，一樣的"。

GREAT TASTE."

偉大的味道。"

SO, SHE'S FORCED TO REMAIN IN ORDER TO EARN THE COMPANY MONEY?

所以，她是為了賺取公司的錢才被迫留下的？

DOES THAT ARRANGEMENT RING ANY BELLS?

你覺得這種安排會不會讓人想起什麼？

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO REMOVE THE BAD THING, NOT REMIND US OF IT.

你應該把壞事去掉，而不是提醒我們。

THAT'S LIKE IF AFTER THE CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT THEY CHANGED THE

這就好比在民權運動之後，他們改變了《憲法》。

SIGNS TO SAY, "NEW, INCLUSIVE WATER FOUNTAIN, SAME WHITES

標牌上寫著："新的，包括水源，同樣的白色。

ONLY FLAVOR!" QUARANTINE-WHILE, "HUSTLER

只有味道！"QUARANTINE-WHILE，"HUSTLER"。

MAGAZINE" FOUNDER LARRY FLYNT HAS DIED AT AGE 78.

MAGAZINE "創始人LARRY FLYNT去世，享年78歲。

IN LIEU OF FLOWERS, THE FAMILY ASKS THAT YOU SEND NUDES.

家屬要求你們送來裸體，以代替鮮花。

FLYNT WAS A TITAN IN THE PORN BIZ.

弗林特是色情業的巨頭。

OVER THE YEARS, HIS COMPANY PRODUCED NOT ONLY "HUSTLER," BUT

多年來，他的公司不僅生產了 "HUSTLER"，還生產了 "HUSTLER"。

OTHER NICHE PUBLICATIONS.

其他新穎的出版品：

BY WHICH I MEAN PUBLICATIONS THAT FEATURE PHOTOS OF PEOPLE'S

我指的是刊登人們的照片的出版品。

NICHES.

NICHES。

ALSO NOOKS AND, OCCASIONALLY, CRANNIES.

也有NOOKS，偶爾也有CRANNIES。

FOR THE BULL BUTTER TO COLLECT I WHEN WE COME BACK, FIRST DRAFTS

為牛油膏收集I 當我們回來的時候，第一份草稿

OF VALENTINE'S DAY CARDS WITH A VERY SPECIAL MY WIFE.

的情人節賀卡與一個非常特殊的我的妻子。

STICK AROUND.

堅持下去。

♪♪♪

♪♪♪