Good afternoon. Are you the decision maker of the house?

Uh..

Do you, uh, currently own a set of encyclopedias?

No, no, but, uh, try the classifieds.

People sell everything in there.

Actually, I'm not buying. I'm selling.

Let me ask you one question.

Do your friends ever have a conversation and you just nod along even though you're not really sure what they're talking about?

[instrumental music]

I'm telling you it's totally unconstitutional.

- Yeah. - I totally agree.

I think he deserves a Nobel Prize.

- I don't agree with you. - Oh, no.

I mean, it was like the Algonquin kid's table.

[laughing]

Excuse me. I'm sorry.

You haven't said anything for about two and a half minutes.

Are you at all interested?

Yeah, well, yeah. Yeah, oh, yeah. Come on in, come on.

Well, there's a lot I didn't know about vomit.

[duck quacking]

In a minute.

Uh, so what do you say, Joey?

You get the whole set of encyclopedias for $1200.

That works out to just 50 bucks a book.

Twelve hundred dollars?

[chuckles]

You think I have $1,200?

I'm home in the middle of the day and I got patio furniture in my living room.

I guess there's a few things you don't get from book learnin'.

Well, uh, what can you swing?

How about zero down and zero a month for a long, long time?

You don't have anything?

You wanna see what I got? Okay.

I got...a baby Tootsie Roll..

...a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex..

...a rock, and an army man.

Hey!

Okay, I-I get the picture.

Uh, thanks, for your time.

- And a 50. - Oh!

These must be Chandler's pants.

For 50 bucks, you can get one book.

What will it be? Uh, A? B? C?

Uh, I-I think I'm gonna stick with the V.

I wanna see how this bad boy turns out.