It was like the perfect storm.

這就像一場完美的風暴。

I answered the call.

我接了電話。

I played around, I had fun.

我玩了一圈，我很開心。

I didn't take life too serious.

我沒有把生活看得太重。

And it turned into this really fun joke that touches

它變成了這個非常有趣的笑話，觸及到了

with a lot of people

人多勢眾

because everyone's gotten a wrong number.

因為每個人都得到了一個錯誤的數字。

And so I'm yes, I'm always flattered.

所以我是的，我總是受寵若驚。

Do I think I'm the greatest community in the world?

我覺得我是世界上最偉大的社會嗎？

Hell no, but do I love that it's a really solid joke

地獄沒有，但我喜歡它是一個非常可靠的笑話。

and could be one of the greatest jokes ever told?

而且可能是有史以來最偉大的笑話之一？

Yeah, bro.

是啊，兄弟。

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

[Buck] A lot of work goes into a short,

一個短片要做很多工作

late night stand up set.

深夜站立套。

Join me, JP Buck as I spotlight the comedians who came

和我一起，JP Buck，我將聚焦那些來過的喜劇演員。

up with some of my favorite Conan sets.

了一些我最喜歡的柯南套裝。

This is The Setup.

這就是設置。

[Conan] Please welcome back to the show.

請歡迎回到節目中來。

The very funny Jay Larson.

非常有趣的傑伊-拉森。

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

You know, I've worked with late-night bookers

你知道，我和深夜訂票的人合作過。

on Craig Ferguson and on Carson Daily.

在克雷格-弗格森和《卡森日報》上。

And the whole thing has always been

而整個事情一直是

it has to be quick jokes

必須是快速的笑話

in case someone tunes in and they see the set.

以防有人調入，他們看到集。

You could never do a long story.

你永遠做不了長篇小說。

Do you remember how long we tried to get this set

你還記得我們花了多長時間才弄到這套房子嗎？

to a time that worked

運作的時代

you were going to take a chance and we couldn't do it?

你要冒險，我們卻做不到？

And then finally you were like, "Let's do it."

最後你說："我們開始吧。"

And every comedian comes to me all the time and they're

每個喜劇演員都會來找我，他們是

like, "One of the greatest sets of all time on late night."

像，"最偉大的套路之一 有史以來在深夜。"

And I'm like, "I know" and doing a story,

我想，"我知道"，做一個故事。

remember we tried it the second time it didn't go as well.

記得我們試過第二次，它沒有去那麼好。

For an audience that's in the room,

對於在座的觀眾來說。

if they don't get on board right away

如果他們不馬上加入進來

you're not going to get them later.

你不會得到他們以後。

And I hadn't even thought of that.

而我甚至沒有想到這一點。

Never once did that cross my mind, you know

我從來沒有想過這個問題，你知道嗎？

the first time it crossed my mind, Kumail said to me,

第一次想到這個問題的時候，庫邁爾對我說。

he goes, "Man, that Conan said", and I'm like,

他說，"夥計，柯南說"，我想，

"Oh thanks man."

"哦，謝謝老兄。"

He goes, "Did you, what would you have done

他走了，"你，你會做什麼？

if two minutes in they hadn't like got on board?"

如果兩分鐘後他們還沒有上船？"

And I was like, "Dude, I never even thought of it."

我當時想，"哥們，我從來沒有想過這個問題。"

Like I just never thought of it

就像我從沒想過一樣

because I love that story so much that like

因為我太喜歡這個故事了

I'm not saying it's never not worked,

我不是說它從來就沒有用過。

but like it's never not worked.

但就像它從來沒有不工作。

When you sent it to me,

當你寄給我的時候

it was timing out at about six and a half minutes.

在六分半鐘的時候，它就開始計時了。

Maybe longer at that early stage.

也許在那個早期階段會更長。

I mean, every late nights that I did

我的意思是，每一個深夜，我做

before this one was like 4:20, 4:30.

在這之前，這個是像4: 20，4: 30。

And for your audience, like

而對於你的觀眾來說，比如

you gotta be exactly... We're on TV.

你得完全...我們在電視上。

This isn't like at a club where they're like

這不像是在俱樂部，他們就像...

"let's go" and they're flashing the light.

"我們走吧"，他們在閃燈。

It's like, you got to get off.

這就像，你得下車。

If you go long, we're going to have to cut

如果你做長線，我們將不得不削減。

something out and they're going to watch this

東西出來，他們要看這個。

set finish and it's not going to make any sense.

定完成，就不會有任何意義。

Yeah or you're going to have to ask Conan

是啊，不然你就得去問柯南了。

to cut from his monologue and plots.

以從他的獨白和情節中切。

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

I have a question.

我有個問題

Your cell phone rings and you don't recognize the number.

你的手機響了，但你不認識這個號碼。

What do you do?

你是做什麼的？

[Man] Ignore it.

[男人]忽略它。

Ignore it.

忽略它。

Don't answer it.

不要回答它。

Not me.

不是我

I like life.

我喜歡生活

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

The other day.

前幾天。

My cell phone rang 917.

我的手機響了917。

That's in New York number.

這是在紐約的號碼。

I didn't know it who it was.

我不知道它是誰。

I messed up my words there.

我把我的話說得亂七八糟。

You can tell I'm a little nervous.

你可以看出我有點緊張。

I say, all right, nine one seven.

我說，好吧，九一七。

I'm basically I'm saying, I didn't know who it was.

我基本上我是說，我不知道是誰。

So right then and there, like I'm like ,

所以，就在那時，就像我一樣。

"Just get past it," just cause if you know JP

"就這樣過去吧"，因為如果你認識JP的話

as a booker and as a standup, you can stand

作為一個預訂者和一個站立者，你可以站在。

in the back of the room, watch a comic, do a joke, you know.

在後面的房間，看相聲，做一個笑話，你知道。

And you can see the tiniest miss

你可以看到最微小的失誤

just the tiniest little word

一字之差

that no one in the room will notice

泯然眾人矣

but you will see the laugh at the end of that joke.

但你會看到這個笑話最後的笑點。

Not hit as hard.

打得沒那麼重。

This is the story.

這就是故事。

So I can recover.

所以我可以恢復。

But that was like, I was a little nervous, you know?

但那就像，我是一個有點緊張，你知道嗎？

I picked it up anyway, hit talk.

我還是接了過來，打了個電話。

I said, "Hello", guy in line goes,

我說："你好"，排隊的人走了。

"Hey Bruce, what's going on?"

"嘿，布魯斯，這是怎麼回事？"

My name's Jay, not Bruce.

我叫傑，不是布魯斯

So I said, nothing much, man.

所以我說，沒什麼，夥計。

What's going on with you?

你怎麼了？

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

And he said, "I'll tell you what's going on.

他說："我告訴你是怎麼回事。

I just got an email about the budget it's supposed to

我剛剛收到一封關於預算的郵件，它應該是。

be 15,000.

是15,000。

Now it's 10,000.

現在是一萬。

And I'd like to know what's up."

而且我想知道是怎麼回事。"

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

I got excited in my chest.

我胸中激動不已。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

I grabbed the steering wheel.

我抓住了方向盤。

I was like, okay, focus, your name is Bruce.

我當時想，好吧，重點，你的名字是布魯斯。

There's a budget, it was 15,000.

有預算，是15000元。

Now it's 10,000.

現在是一萬。

No, one's happy about it.

不，有一個人很高興。

That's all we know.

這就是我們所知道的一切。

That's all we know.

這就是我們所知道的一切。

When I go, "My name's Jay, not Bruce", is like

當我走的時候，"我叫傑伊，不叫布魯斯"，就像。

the audience is a little bit like, "All right

觀眾有點像，"好吧。

what's going to happen."

會發生什麼。"

Like what's, I can feel it.

像什麼的，我能感覺到。

And I always know where they are.

而我總是知道他們在哪裡。

And that's what I love

這也是我喜歡的原因

about stand up is you're like, "Just hold, I got you."

關於站立是你喜歡， "只要保持，我給你。"

You know what I mean?

你知道我的意思嗎？

And like right here at this moment

就像此時此刻

everyone swarms in when you grab the steering wheel.

當你抓住方向盤的時候，所有人都蜂擁而至。

So I just repeated back to him what he said

所以我就把他說的話複述給他聽。

to me and I go, "10,000 is supposed to be 15,000."

對我來說，我走了， "10,000應該是15,000。"

He goes, "Yeah, I know.

他說："是的，我知道。

Well, I just got an email and now it's 10."

嗯，我剛剛收到一封郵件，現在是10。"

I go, "Listen, man.

我說："聽著，夥計。

I don't know what to tell you.

我不知道該怎麼跟你說。

I've been on the road all day.

我整天都在路上。

You know, I haven't even seen it."

你知道的，我還沒看過呢。"

And he goes, "Did you send this out?"

他說："這是你送出去的嗎？"

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

Give him some attitude you're Bruce.

給他一些態度，你是布魯斯。

I didn't like it.

我不喜歡它。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

That's like my favorite thing in the whole joke.

這就像我最喜歡的事情 在整個笑話。

It's like I didn't even like the way he talks to Bruce.

就像我根本不喜歡他和布魯斯說話的方式。

Like I'm stepping up for Bruce.

就像我在替布魯斯出頭一樣。

I said, "Listen, man, the budget was 15,000.

我說："聽著，夥計，預算是15000。

We had a couple extra expenditures.

我們有幾筆額外的支出。

It went up to 16,2 I reworked it

漲到16,2了，我又重新做了一遍。

got it down to 14,7 I had 300 to play with.

把它降到了14,7，我有300個玩。

So I called it 15 and I sent it out."

所以我叫它15號，我就發了。"

And he goes, "Yeah, well now it's 10 man."

然後他說，"是啊，現在是10個人了。"

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

And I was like, "Oh my God, that worked,

我當時想，"哦，我的上帝，這工作。

that worked phase one, complete phase one complete."

奏效的第一階段，完成第一階段的完整。"

like now I'm in the door.

就像現在我在門裡。

I have a 401k.

我有一個401k。

I was at the Christmas party, okay?

我是在聖誕派對上，好嗎？

That's one of my favorite lines.

這是我最喜歡的一句話。

Which one?

哪一個？

I've been at the Christmas party.

我一直在聖誕派對上。

That's a Sickler, that's Sickler.

那是一個Sickler，那是Sickler。

Yeah.

是啊。

Standup is such an individual thing.

斯坦德是這樣一個個體的東西。

It's you alone.

是你一個人。

But in comedy clubs, when you get off stage

但在喜劇俱樂部裡，當你下臺的時候

it's hanging out with other comics and you're getting ideas.

它的掛出與其他漫畫，你得到的想法。

And that was one of them.

而這就是其中之一。

It used to be like,

以前是這樣的。

"I had a 401k", 'cause this didn't happen in the call.

"我有一個401K"，因為這並沒有發生在電話中。

This is everything afterwards.

這是後的一切。

You know what I mean?

你知道我的意思嗎？

I think in the longer version I go

我想在較長的版本中，我去

like, "I was at the Christmas party", like,

像，"我是在聖誕派對"，喜歡。

"Yeah I got a little tipsy and stole a toy for Todd."

"是啊，我有點醉了，給託德偷了個玩具。"

You know, something like along those lines

你知道，類似這樣的事情

that just was like, it doesn't matter.

這只是喜歡，它並不重要。

But it's fun, yeah.

但它的樂趣，是的。

So he goes, "Did Larry, okay, this?"

所以他說："拉里，好嗎，這個？"

I go, "Listen, man, I took the budget to Larry.

我說："聽著，夥計，我把預算拿給拉里了。

Larry said it looked fine, but I knew it was my ass

拉里說它看起來很好，但我知道這是我的屁股。

on the line.

在線上。

So I ran it by Jennifer, just in case just to double check.

所以我讓Jennifer幫我查了一下，以防萬一，只是想再確認一下。

Jennifer said it looked good.

詹妮弗說看起來不錯。

I sent it out."

我把它送出去了。"

He goes, "Yeah, well now it's 10 man."

他說，"是啊，現在是10個人了。"

And I realized this guy has no idea what's going

我意識到這傢伙根本不知道發生了什麼事情

on over there.

在那邊。

He hasn't talked to Larry.

他還沒有和拉里談過。

I know he hasn't talked to Bruce.

我知道他還沒有和布魯斯談過。

He doesn't even recognize my voice.

他甚至不認識我的聲音。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

I know he didn't talk to Jennifer.

我知道他沒有和詹妮弗說話。

I just made her up.

我只是編造了她。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

So that's the only thing that's not real.

所以這才是唯一不真實的東西。

[Buck] Okay.

[巴克]好的

Jennifer, I literally made her up and made her up.

詹妮弗，我真的把她編成了，把她編成了。

My guy is so thorough that he didn't just run it by Larry.

我的人很徹底，他不只是被拉里跑了。

He ran over to Jennifer too, just to,

他也跑到詹妮弗身邊，只是為了。

you know see how it went

你知道嗎？

So he goes, "Listen, man, what are we going to do

所以他說："聽著，夥計，我們該怎麼辦？

about this?"

關於這個？"

And I go, "Listen, I'm on the road right now.

我走了，"聽著，我現在在路上。

I haven't even seen the email.

我甚至沒有看到郵件。

Why don't you give Larry a call, check in with him.

你為什麼不給拉里打個電話，向他彙報一下。

See what he says, call me back."

看他怎麼說，再給我打電話。"

Just praying he will.

只是祈禱他能做到。

Because that returned phone call was going to be amazing.

因為那個回電會很神奇。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

That's when I thought this whole thing would end.

我以為這一切都會結束了

He would hang up, call the guy

他會掛斷電話，給那個人打電話

call me back and be like, "Who is this dude?"

給我回電話，說 "這傢伙是誰？"

You know, that's when I thought it was going to end.

你知道嗎，那是我以為要結束的時候。

I get home I'm so excited.

我回到家，我很興奮。

I take out my cell phone.

我拿出手機。

I'm like, you know what?

我想，你知道嗎？

I'm going to save that guy's number.

我要保存那個人的號碼。

Give him a call in a couple of days, touch base.

過兩天給他打個電話，聯繫一下。

You know what I mean?

你知道我的意思嗎？

Check in.

簽到。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

See where we're at you know?

你知道我們在哪裡嗎？

So I save it in my phone under random guy.

所以我就把它保存在手機裡的隨機傢伙下。

It's what he is, he's a random guy.

他就是這樣的人，他是個隨便的人。

Four or five days passed I forget about it.

四五天過去了，我忘記了這件事。

Laying on my couch, watching the ball game, phone rings

躺在我的沙發上，看球賽，電話響了

in the dining room table.

在餐桌上。

I get up watching the game, grab the phone

我起身看球賽，拿起手機。

watching the game, looked down, random guy.

看比賽的時候，低頭一看，隨便一個人。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

But it's been a couple of days.

但這幾天。

You know what I mean?

你知道我的意思嗎？

So I'm like random guy, who's random guy?

所以我就像隨機的人，誰是隨機的人？

Like who would even have random guy

喜歡誰甚至會有隨機的傢伙

as their name that comes up?

作為他們的名字，出現？

And then I was like, random guy.

然後我就想，隨機的傢伙。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

Like now I'm panicked, you know what I mean?

就像現在我很恐慌，你知道我的意思嗎？

People's lives have been affected.

人們的生活受到了影響。

It's only five grand, but I don't know how big

五千塊錢而已，不知道有多大了

that company is, but I'm addicted to it.

該公司是，但我對它上癮。

You know what I mean?

你知道我的意思嗎？

I started this thing I need to see it through.

我開始了這件事，我需要看到它通過。

This physicality of you going back to the phone,

你的這種身體素質，回到手機上。

like I love this miming.

就像我喜歡這種模仿。

It's 100% literal.

這是100%的字面意思。

I'm so careless with people's worlds

我太不小心把別人的世界弄得一團糟了。

that I just even forgot it was happening.

我甚至都忘了這是怎麼回事。

And now I'm like, "Oh my God, before it was, you know

現在我想，"哦，我的上帝，以前它是，你知道嗎？

just the call before it was a number.

只是之前的電話是一個號碼。

Now it's a name, its personal like this,

現在它是一個名字，它的個人像這樣。

something has happened

出事了

and now I'm going to have to face the music."

而現在，我將不得不面對音樂。"