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  • (electronic music)

  • - All right, this is the pilot of Lucifer.

  • Act one.

  • Exterior, City of Angels, Sunset Boulevard, night.

  • A jet black vintage sports car sales down Sunset

  • cruising through the adult Disneyland

  • that is nighttime Los Angeles.

  • Neon and billboards reflected on the windshield,

  • the Stones' "Gimme Shelter" blasting from the radio, or-

  • - Cause we couldn't afford it.

  • (everyone laughing)

  • - Or "No Rest For The Wicked" by Cage the Elephant.

  • Interior, Lucifer's car,

  • behind the wheel the devil himself.

  • Say hello to Lucifer Morningstar.

  • He's good-looking, a man of wealth and taste,

  • but that's not what makes him jump off the screen.

  • It's his vibe.

  • Pure lusty mischief, sardonic smile, timeless style.

  • And yes, he's that Lucifer, the son of God.

  • The one who rebelled, plotted against his father

  • and plummeted from grace.

  • The one who was banished from paradise

  • and forced to serve as the Lord of hell for all eternity.

  • Right now Lucifer's was getting pulled over for speeding.

  • Motorcycle cop.

  • Lucifer adjust his mirror to see Officer Diggs

  • approaching the car.

  • He yells over the music.

  • - Can you turn down the music, sir?

  • - Ah, you know what they say, officer,

  • if it's getting too loud, you're getting too old.

  • - Do you know why I pulled you over?

  • - Obviously you felt the need to exercise

  • your limited power and punish me

  • for ignoring the speed limit.

  • It's okay, I understand.

  • I like to punish people too.

  • Or at least I used to.

  • - Do you have any idea how fast you were going?

  • - Haven't a clue.

  • I blame it on the Stones,

  • they just make a man want to drive.

  • You know what I mean?

  • - Well, you know, sometimes

  • I put my siren on and drive really, really fast,

  • but for no reason, you know, just cause I can.

  • - Right?

  • And why wouldn't you?

  • It's fun!

  • It feels good to get away with something, doesn't it?

  • - [Diggs] Hmm.

  • - (chuckling) It's okay, officer.

  • People like to tell me things,

  • those deep, dark, naughty little desires

  • that are really on their minds.

  • It's a gift.

  • Must be something about this face.

  • - License and registration.

  • - [Lucifer] Coming right up.

  • - Are you trying to bribe me, sir?

  • - Yes, of course.

  • Why is that not enough?

  • Here, just take more, it's only money.

  • - It's against the law.

  • - Oh you people are funny about your laws.

  • You break the law sometimes don't you?

  • Yeah, do tell.

  • - Well, sometimes,

  • I'll pull a woman over for a minor infraction

  • and get it to flash me a little something something.

  • - Oh you dirty dog, you.

  • - Sometimes I let her off with, you know, with a warning.

  • Sometimes I don't.

  • Sometimes other stuff happens.

  • - Oh, LA's finest.

  • You're tempted to keep that, aren't you?

  • Yeah, so what are you waiting for, permission?

  • Keep it!

  • Buy yourself something pretty, you deserve it.

  • But if you don't mind, I really must be on my way.

  • - Okay sir.

  • Have a good evening.

  • - You too, officer.

  • - Officer Diggs walked away,

  • Lucifer readjusts his mirror

  • but this time we see a flash of something strange,

  • a glimpse of Lucifer's true reflection,

  • almost too fast to even comprehend,

  • but enough to unsettle us

  • or not, because we decide to not do that later in post.

  • (everyone laughing)

  • Lucifer skims the radio and roars off

  • leaving one very dazed cop in his wake.

  • As he goes, we see the caddies rear vanity plate

  • which reads "FALL1N1".

  • Title card. (actors humming)

  • Exterior, Lux, street night.

  • Lucifer pulls up in front of his bar, Lux.

  • Doesn't look like much from the outside

  • but there's a long line of Hollywood hipsters

  • dying to get in.

  • Inside Lux now a little bit of hell on earth,

  • a living breathing tribute to Lucifer's favorite things,

  • wine, women, and song.

  • Lucifer glides through soaking up the sights

  • and sounds of elegant debauchery

  • like a proud modern day Gatsby.

  • His eyes land on the exotic dark hair beauty

  • tending bar over yonder, Mazikeen.

  • But she's always been just Maze to Lucifer.

  • She leans seductively with her back against the bar,

  • doesn't turn around as this for approaches,

  • speaks to him via a mirror.

  • - Where have you been?

  • - Holed up at the Chateau

  • copulating with a woman named Faith.

  • Ironic, isn't it?

  • Oh, have I ever told you how incredibly sexy you are

  • when you can't control your emotions?

  • - And what emotions might those be?

  • - Why jealousy, of course.

  • - Try disappointment.

  • - A young man suddenly rises from where he's been kneeling

  • in front of Maze.

  • Lucifer's eyebrows go up.

  • Didn't see that coming.

  • - Thank you, Patrick.

  • You can go.

  • What?

  • I dropped something.

  • Now, Lucifer I'm a big fan of sex.

  • - Obviously.

  • - But shouldn't you be spending your valuable time

  • doing something more significant?

  • You're the Lord of hell for crying out loud.

  • - I'm retired, Maze, I've got nothing but time.

  • - Maze stares at him for a beat

  • then senses something, as does Lucifer.

  • A ripple in the drink she just poured.

  • Time slows.

  • Music and laughter become warped and haunted

  • as everyone in the club slows

  • except Lucifer and Maze who share a look.

  • - I think you have a visitor.

  • (Lucifer sighing)

  • - And through the slow motion crowd,

  • Lucifer sees Amenadiel.

  • The man has a steady and grim intensity.

  • He's Lucifer's brother and an angel.

  • Yep, majestic wings and everything.

  • But Amenadiel is also a bad-ass.

  • Last thing he radiates is angelic goodness.

  • - Amenadiel, how's it hanging big guy?

  • Didn't you see the sign?

  • No angels allowed.

  • No?

  • I'll make an exception for you, on the house.

  • - You've become quite ensconced

  • with this little hobby of yours.

  • Your return to the underworld has been requested.

  • - Oh!

  • Okay, let me check my calendar.

  • Yeah, here it is.

  • The 7th of never through to the 15th

  • of ain't going to happen.

  • How does that work for you guys?

  • (everyone chuckling)

  • See, I'm consistently surprised by the whole

  • no sense of humor thing.

  • Look, remind dad, I quit hell

  • because I was sick and tired of playing a part in his play.

  • I believe in free will

  • but not the tyranny of all this predestination hoo hah.

  • - I'll warn you against disrespecting our father, Lucifer.

  • - Yeah?

  • Well, our father has been disrespecting me

  • since the beginning of time.

  • So pot kettle, don't you think?

  • - You are a mockery of everything divine.

  • - Thank you.

  • But lately I've been doing a fair amount of thinking.

  • Do you think I'm the devil because I'm inherently evil

  • or simply because dear old dad decided I was?

  • I mean isn't this a classic case of labeling?

  • - What do you think happens when the devil leaves hell?

  • All those demons, those tormented souls.

  • Where do you think they go?

  • - Don't know, don't care, not my problem.

  • Look, tell father I'm not going back.

  • Consider the position oficially open.

  • So you, my feathered friend, are going to hell

  • - In a blink, Amenadiel's wing is at Lucifer's throat.

  • Ancient fuel fused in its tips.

  • Lucifer's glass falls, shatters, but he doesn't flinch.

  • - Oh, go for it.

  • You think father's upset now?

  • - Father has been patient for five years.

  • He will not be merciful much longer.

  • - Threat planted, Amenadiel withdraws and exits.

  • And the club now slips back into regular motion.

  • Lucifer only now deflates.

  • Amenadiel clearly rattles him.

  • Exterior Lux, street night.

  • Lucifer stands outside, spinning a coin in his hand,

  • still thinking about his conversation with Amenadiel,

  • when a taxi slows to a stop in front of Lux.

  • The rear window rolls down, a beautiful hot mess appears.

  • This is Delilah.

  • Delilah is a fallen from grace pop star,

  • the crowd waiting in line reacts like crowds do

  • when confronted with a super famous person, tragic or not.

  • Oohs and aahs and iPhones galore

  • but Delilah only has eyes for Lucifer.

  • - Remember me?

  • - Yes, you're famous.

  • Delilah, isn't it?

  • Could I have your autograph?

  • - If I can have a drink.

  • - Back inside Lux, Lucifer and Delilah sit at a booth.

  • Maze hovers in the background.

  • - So why'd you really come back?

  • - I don't know, I guess I feel safe here.

  • Reminds me of who I was

  • before everything got so big and messy.

  • And for you.

  • Sometimes I feel like

  • you were the only person who was ever really honest with me.

  • But I need to know something.

  • - What's that?

  • - Did I sell my soul to the devil?

  • - Well, that would imply the devil

  • is actually interested in your soul.

  • That's the stuff of movies and TV.

  • They always get it wrong.

  • - Come on, you took me in off the street, Lucifer.

  • You let me sing up there anytime I wanted.

  • It's so weird.

  • I told you that I want it to be a star.

  • And that's when things started happening for me.

  • And you do call yourself Lucifer.

  • - Call me whatever you want

  • but I'm really just a patron of the arts.

  • Look, honestly, I introduced you to a few people

  • that owed me favors, that's all.

  • - Do you think I'm talented?

  • - Of course I do.

  • You have one of the most beautiful voices

  • I've ever heard.

  • It's sweet, dirty, sexy, soulful.

  • I knew you were a star, I just helped the world catch up.

  • - Well, it certainly feels very Faustian at times

  • because along with the good, ooh,

  • came a hell of a lot of bad.

  • - Oh, so the devil made you do it?

  • The alcohol, the drugs, the topless selfies?

  • Your choices are on you, my dear.

  • - You're right, you're right.

  • You are absolutely right.

  • But the toxic relationships were my biggest screw ups.

  • God, I really do have the worst taste in men.

  • - You really do, darling.

  • Jimmy Barnes?

  • I can't believe you almost married that sweaty little imp.

  • - He produced my album!

  • You introduced us.

  • - I suggested you work with him, not sleep with him.

  • - I got confused.

  • - And then you left him at the altar.

  • - Yeah, that was pretty rude of me.

  • - Actually, I rather liked that bit. (chuckling)

  • - He trapped me in the bathroom at the Grammy's a month ago,

  • cried, said he wanted to get back together.

  • Then I hear he's marrying some supermodel this weekend

  • and I'm jealous!

  • Oh, god, I am such a mess!

  • - God has nothing to do with your mess any more than I do.

  • You didn't sell your soul, Delilah,

  • but you do owe me a favor.

  • Looks like it's time to settle up.

  • - I'm scared.

  • - You should be.

  • Because what I'm about to ask

  • is going to be quite difficult for you.

  • Pull yourself together.

  • That's it, that's all I'm asking.

  • Get it together before it's too late.

  • You're wasting your talent, your life.

  • - I let you down.

  • - [Lucifer] Then fix it.

  • - Off Delilah, a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

  • Exterior Lux, street night, Lucifer and Delilah

  • walk out saying goodbye.

  • - Lucifer, I'm going to do what you asked.

  • I am going to get it together.

  • I promise.

  • - Without me, all these terrible things

  • that weren't supposed to happen?

  • They happened.

  • But what happens next is up to you.

  • - She nods, smiles, pulls him in an intense hug.

  • They're still hugging when a piece of shit car

  • slows to a stop in front of Lux.

  • Shots ring out.

  • Lucifer and Delilah are riddled with bullets.

  • As they both go down in a heap, the car screeches off.

  • But without warning the shooter's car

  • is viciously broadsided by a city bus.

  • A beat as everything settles.

  • Then an unholy groan from Lucifer

  • as he rises to a sitting position.

  • His clothes are torn with smoking holes.

  • He rips his shirt open, no blood, no entry wounds.

  • Just pain, a lot of fucking pain.

  • He slowly climbs to his feet,

  • goes over to Delilah, beautiful in peaceful repose

  • and very much dead.

  • Lucifer's face takes the pain. - Very dead.

  • - He looks down the street,

  • zeroes in to the wreckage and stalks over to it.

  • The shooter's body has been thrown from the crumpled car

  • laid out in a pile of broken glass,

  • twisted and bloody, but still alive.

  • - What did you do?

  • - I'm sorry.

  • - Sorry?

  • Tell me why.

  • Why did you end her life?

  • I can smell death coming for you.

  • Shall I speed it along?

  • - Why else?

  • Money.

  • - Times like this I wish I was back in hell.

  • What I would do to you.

  • - Hey, I just pulled the trigger.

  • - [Lucifer] What do you mean by that?

  • - The shooter coughs up a final geyser of blood and dies.

  • Lucifer walks back over to Delilah,

  • he stands there staring down at her

  • with something in his eyes.

  • Is it loss?

  • Which is when we realize we're watching Lucifer

  • from someone else's POV.

  • Exterior Lux, street.

  • Find Amenadiel in the shadows,

  • a slow motion ballet of onlookers around him.

  • As he glares at Lucifer ominously,

  • we wonder, did this actually make it into the pilot?

  • Is he observing this moment or did he cause it?

  • Exterior, Lux street. - We need Len here!

  • We need Len.

  • - (laughing) same night.

  • Now a full blown crime scene.

  • Cherry tops spin, police swarm,

  • coroners put Delilah's body in a bag

  • and into the back of their van

  • as an unmarked cop car pulls up.

  • Out hops LAPD homicide detective Chloe Dancer.

  • Hold me closer, Chloe Dancer

  • - Beautiful but downplays it on purpose.

  • She's smart, cold, and direct.

  • She's strides over to the red car

  • where the shooter still lies

  • in the bed of broken glass and blood,

  • bends over to get a closer look,

  • when she hears some snickering and whispering.

  • Turns to see some rookie uniform staring at her.

  • - Can I help you?

  • - Nah, just talking about some of our favorite movies.

  • - Another plain clothes detective walks up

  • from the other direction.

  • He's Daniel Espinoza, gruff, alpha dog.

  • (everyone laughing)

  • - Hey, go secure the perimeter.

  • - You here to babysit me?

  • Lieutenant said this is my case.

  • - Well, hi.

  • Nice to see you too.

  • Yeah, it's your case Chloe.

  • Want to hear what I got so far though?

  • - No.

  • - Well, it's an easy one.

  • (laughing) This is our bad guy, Eddie Deakin.

  • Low-level drug dealer.

  • Found these in his pocket

  • and this in Delilah's purse.

  • So obviously drug related, right?

  • Maybe she owed him a bunch of cash or something.

  • She wasn't exactly selling out stadiums these days.

  • - But how'd you know he's low level?

  • - Do you see his car?

  • - Yeah, but look.

  • Look at his watch.

  • That ain't cheap.

  • - Probably a fake.

  • Wouldn't pick too hard at this one, Chloe.

  • Not after Palmetto street.

  • - Ah, Palmetto street! (everyone laughing)

  • - Palmetto!

  • - Woo!

  • - Listen, Dan.

  • I begged for this case because of Palmetto.

  • So any witnesses?

  • - Interior Lux, night,

  • where Chloe is now questioning Lucifer.

  • He's distracted.

  • His rolling emotions over Delilah's death

  • are disorienting him.

  • Maze hovers nearby

  • - Lucifer Morningstar, is that like

  • a stage name or something?

  • - God given, I'm afraid.

  • You look familiar, have we met?

  • - Yeah, five minutes ago.

  • And I'm asking the questions.

  • Talk to me about your relationship with the victim.

  • - She used to work here a few years back.

  • I would occasionally accompany her while she sang.

  • Then she became a big star

  • and someone decided to end her life.

  • - Did you know the shooter?

  • - [Lucifer] No, but we did have a nice little chat.

  • I asked him why he did it.

  • - I see.

  • You like to play cop, do you?

  • - I like to play in general, Detective.

  • What about you?

  • (Dan chuckling)

  • - It's interesting because the coroner's report

  • has the shooter killed on impact.

  • So you spoke to a dead guy?

  • - Well, he wasn't quite dead.

  • His soul was still crossing the threshold.

  • - Oh, okay then.

  • So why'd he do it?

  • - Well, money of course.

  • You humans love your money.

  • - Yes.

  • Yes we do.

  • And what planet are you from, London?

  • - (chuckling) He also said "I just pulled the trigger."

  • Interesting, no?

  • - Delilah was shot to death by a drug dealer

  • and looks like Delilah herself kept the guy pretty busy.

  • It's sad, it's ugly, but it's not rocket science.

  • I mean, something obviously went south between them.

  • She gets riddled with bullets

  • and a nice little act of God takes him out.

  • - It doesn't work like that.

  • Quite neatly wrapped present for the LAPD,

  • don't you think?

  • - Okay.

  • How does she end up dying in a hailstorm of bullets

  • and you get away without a scratch?

  • That's very interesting, don't you think?

  • - [Lucifer] The benefits of immortality?

  • - Immortality, yes, of course.

  • Do you spell that with one M or two?

  • I always forget.

  • - What will your corrupt little organization do about this?

  • - [Chloe] Excuse me?

  • - Will you find the one responsible?

  • Will he be punished?

  • Will this be a priority for you?

  • - You've got some balls on you, you know.

  • - [Lucifer] Well thank you very much,

  • but they're really quite average.

  • - I knew that.

  • - Are you sure that we haven't met?

  • I could swear I've seen you naked.

  • Did we have sex?

  • - You know what, go to hell.

  • - No thank you, much more fun here.

  • Oh wait detective, we're not done.

  • - Yes, we are.

  • - And she's out.

  • Off Lucifer frustrated.

  • We end act one.

  • - Meet cute, that was the meet cute.

  • - Yay!

  • I don't think those two are ever going to hook up.

  • - Never.

  • - Act two.

  • Interior Lux, later that night.

  • Lucifer plays piano.

  • Fingers flying, an intense version of Bowie's Lady Stardust.

  • Suddenly he smashes the keys in a burst of atonal fury,

  • his gaze fixed on something ahead.

  • It's his reflection in the mirrored fireplace,

  • that disturbing face again.

  • We catch just a hint of it before

  • he gets up at hurls a metal skull at the mirror,

  • smashing it to pieces.

  • Maze enters, surveys the damage, says nothing

  • which only serves to infuriate Lucifer even more

  • and really make the audience curious.

  • Did we see this scene?

  • - (laughing) Out with it, Maze.

  • - I'm curious.

  • - [Lucifer] About?

  • - Why this upsets you so much.

  • - 'Cause there is someone out there

  • that deserves punishment and it's not going to happen.

  • - Who cares?

  • Mortals die every day.

  • - Yes, insignificant ones.

  • Human nothings never add anything to this world.

  • They only take and consume

  • and die cowardly, pathetic deaths, but this was different.

  • She was different.

  • - You care about her.

  • - Please.

  • I care about punishing the coward responsible.

  • - Who are you right now?

  • - I don't mind the occasional smart ass remarks, Maze.

  • They can be amusing, but don't disrespect me.

  • - The opposite is true.

  • You're the Prince of freaking darkness.

  • It's all well and good to take a vacation,

  • have fun in paradise with all the low hanging fruit.

  • But you're losing sight of who you actually are, Lucifer.

  • You exist to punish and torture for a universal reason.

  • Certainly not for a petty human emotion, such as love.

  • - (chuckling) I am not human.

  • Take that back.

  • The world was robbed of a great talent

  • and that makes me angry.

  • It makes me want to punish someone

  • in very unholy ways, that's all.

  • - Does that mean we're going home?

  • - He's silent.

  • Her smile fades, but she kisses him sensually

  • then slinks off.

  • On Lucifer.

  • Maze's words echoing.

  • - We did shoot that scene,

  • but it never made it. - We did shoot that scene.

  • - Deleted scenes.

  • Exterior, Malibu coastline.

  • - Too blue for Fox, that one.

  • (everyone laughing)

  • - Gliding over the beautiful ocean side.

  • We pick up Lucifer's Jag

  • as it speeds down the ribbon of highway

  • that is the PCH.

  • Exterior Malibu wedding site, day.

  • The wedding is in progress.

  • A short sweaty music mogul named Jimmy Barnes

  • is about to wed a stunning statuesque supermodel bride.

  • Surrounded by family and frenemies,

  • it's a whole big to-do.

  • The priest has just arrived at the part where he says,

  • - Speak now or forever hold your peace.

  • - Yeah, excuse me!

  • - And Lucifer comes strolling down that aisle.

  • - I have a problem.

  • Has anyone else noticed how incredibly

  • jaw-droppingly, loin-stirringly beautiful

  • this young woman is,

  • and how short, sweaty and altogether fugly

  • this homunculus is?

  • I mean, what is this, a wedding or a kidnapping?

  • You know what I mean?

  • (everyone chuckling)

  • - The priest crosses himself.

  • - Yeah, good luck with that, Padre.

  • Oh, while you're at it tell him I say hey, it's been awhile.

  • Jimmy Barnes!

  • Remember me?

  • - Hey man, this is a private event.

  • How'd you even get in here?

  • - Yes, quite a lavish

  • be it tacky one for a record producer on the outs.

  • Do you remember me?

  • - Of course I remember you.

  • What do you want?

  • I'm a little busy.

  • - I can't believe you're getting married

  • the day after your ex-lover

  • and once brightest star was murdered in cold blood.

  • - Yeah.

  • It's sad, but Delilah ruined my wedding once before.

  • I wasn't about to let her do it again.

  • - Yes.

  • It was hard to be rejected, isn't it, Jimmy?

  • Twice.

  • - What?

  • She said you tried.

  • She said you tried to get her back recently.

  • I'd killed someone if they denied me once.

  • Not that that's possible, come on.

  • Come on, tell me Jimbo.

  • Did you want her dead?

  • You know I love a juicy story.

  • - I am not playing that mind game with you.

  • Of course not.

  • I was furious and humiliated when she dumped me.

  • But I think I rebound pretty well.

  • - Clearly, respect.

  • - You should go play your games with 2Vile.

  • - 2Vile, the rapper?

  • - Yeah, mhmm.

  • Delilah dumped me for that lunatic.

  • A, they were always fighting.

  • I think he slapped her around a bunch.

  • He's the real deal, man.

  • And he's surrounded by a bunch

  • of gun-toting morons 24/7.

  • - Oh, I'm sorry, how rude of me.

  • Allow me to introduce myself.

  • - I really don't want to have sex with him tonight.

  • I'm sorry, did I just say?

  • I didn't mean that.

  • - Of course you're don't.

  • Let's be honest here.

  • You're not marrying this human stain

  • because you're actually in love with him, right?

  • - No, I guess it's more about lifestyle.

  • I don't know what I was thinking

  • - Well good luck with that, he's broke.

  • Dry your tears, darling.

  • At least you'll have this magical day.

  • Well, I should be going.

  • Best of luck to you crazy kids.

  • - Lucifer turns and walks off down the aisle,

  • a figurative mushroom cloud in his wake.

  • (actors laughing)

  • Exterior 2Vile's place, Hollywood Hills, day.

  • Lucifer cruises at the drive of a pimped out palace

  • that could easily have its own very special episode

  • of MTV cribs.

  • Lucifer exits his car, rings the bell,

  • a massive gong sounds.

  • Door's opened by a white English butler.

  • - Good afternoon, sir.

  • - I'm here to see the man sadly known as 2Vile.

  • Is he in?

  • - I'm sorry, sir.

  • He's unavailable.

  • I'm afraid he's in the mourning.

  • - I have narcotics for him.

  • - Right this way, sir.

  • - Okay.

  • - Inside 2Vile's place moments later,

  • Lucifer follows the Butler into the den,

  • furniture from MoMA.

  • 2Vile's crews are scattered all over the place.

  • Hip-hop's thumping.

  • There's tons of weed, weapons, it's a real scene.

  • An immensely expensive plasma TV in the background

  • plays news on Delilah's death.

  • The hot headline.

  • - Can someone please turn down this God awful music?

  • - Who's this clown?

  • - Oh, he has narcotics for you, sir.

  • - The name is Lucifer Morningstar.

  • - Lucifer Morningstar?

  • That's a good hip hop name.

  • - That offends me.

  • - What do you,

  • what, you don't like hip hop?

  • - No, I most certainly do not.

  • - Well that offends me.

  • You have a problem with black people?

  • - Not in the slightest.

  • I just hate your music.

  • When I say your music, I mean your music.

  • Not music made by other black people.

  • Without the blues, there'll be no devil's music whatsoever.

  • There are of course many giants in the field.

  • Just not you.

  • Am I being clear?

  • - You're being clear, all right,

  • If you're looking to get yourself killed.

  • - Don't waste your munitions, I'm immortal.

  • Tell me about Delilah.

  • - What's to tell?

  • Bitch is dead.

  • - That ignites Lucifer.

  • He violently shoves 2Vile,

  • sending him shattering through a glass door,

  • toppling over the balcony to certain death.

  • Just as Lucifer grabs him by his blinged out chains,

  • suspending him high above the hillside.

  • - No, no, no, no, don't shoot him.

  • Don't shoot him, you idiot.

  • I didn't kill her!

  • - Why should I believe you?

  • - Because I loved her.

  • - People sometimes kill people with whom they're in love.

  • The heart is mysterious or so I'm told.

  • - Girl made me crazy, okay.

  • - Well women can do that.

  • Doesn't mean you should beat her up.

  • - Hey, hey, hey, come on.

  • We worked that out a long time ago.

  • I hit her once.

  • 'Cause she was cheating on me.

  • - Huh.

  • With whom?

  • - I don't know.

  • She wouldn't tell me, said it was a big secret.

  • Some rich married guy.

  • - Well did she have a friend she might've confided in?

  • - Didn't trust no one.

  • Her therapist is probably the only one who knows.

  • Some doc.

  • (tune playing)

  • Sorry about that.

  • Some Dr. Linda in Beverly Hills.

  • - That's Dr. Linda's music.

  • - Yeah.

  • Saw her like five times a week on the DL.

  • Used a fake name and everything.

  • - Thank you for your time. (sighing)

  • - Man, sometimes I get tired of fronting, you know?

  • I really just wanted to put a ring on that finger

  • and a baby up in there.

  • (everyone chuckling)

  • Wow, she was the one.

  • Now she's dead.

  • - You know, I like the side of you.

  • You might consider putting this kind of emotion

  • into your music.

  • And change your name.

  • What does your mother call you?

  • - Percy.

  • Percy Wallace.

  • - Yeah, nevermind.

  • Good luck with what's left of your short lived career.

  • - Lucifer starts to leave when,

  • - Guns down, on the floor!

  • - Detective!

  • Welcome to the party.

  • - Guns down.

  • You, grab that bucket.

  • Pick them up now.

  • - Oh, you sly dog.

  • You did listen to me.

  • - Ran the dead guy's cell phone.

  • 2Vile was the last person he called.

  • Oh, come on, man! - Oh, sorry!

  • Oh, come on, man!

  • - What I find highly interesting

  • is how you made the connection on your own.

  • - Well I've been busy, my dear.

  • - Talk to me about Delilah.

  • - Yes, yes, we've been over that one, detective.

  • - And why you called the shooter two days

  • before she was murdered.

  • - Fine, yeah, yeah.

  • I called Eddie cause he hooks me up sometimes.

  • He met Delilah through me.

  • When we were together, whatever.

  • Don't don't make me a killer, do it?

  • - No, but it does make you a suspect.

  • - What, so everyone on Eddie's phone is a suspect?

  • You joking?

  • Welcome to the celebrity name game.

  • You're going to drag half of Hollywood downtown?

  • Be like the Oscars.

  • - Chloe reaches for her cuffs.

  • Meanwhile, the celebrity moment has triggered recognition

  • in one of 2Vile's crew.

  • - Dennis, you're muted.

  • - I knew that was gonna happen.

  • Wait, wait, wait.

  • Aren't you that chick from the film?

  • - What's this, what film?

  • - Yeah you used to be that actress or something.

  • Right?

  • I mean that teen movie.

  • I forget what it's called.

  • - Of course!

  • Hot Tub High School, that's where I know you from!

  • - Let's stick to my questions shall we, thank you.

  • - The one with the famous nude scene coming out the hot tub.

  • It was a complete Fast Times ripoff.

  • You were like the new Phoebe Cates.

  • Oh, that was quite a nude scene.

  • - I've got way too many bullets in here

  • for you still to be talking.

  • Come on, you're under arrest.

  • - That's a waste of time, detective.

  • I've just threatened his life.

  • He's not our guy.

  • He would have said, trust me.

  • - What, you did what?

  • - Yeah, isn't that illegal?

  • - A little bit, yeah.

  • Okay, you don't go anywhere.

  • You come with me.

  • - Oh, with pleasure.

  • Do these go any tighter, Detective?

  • - Chloe slaps the cuffs on Lucifer

  • and a smug smile doesn't leave his lips

  • as Chloe yanks him out.

  • Exterior 2Vile's place.

  • You know, we think it'd be really fun

  • if we just did a little thing right here.

  • Lucifer and Chloe,

  • why don't you switch?

  • Or Tom and Lauren, switch roles?

  • - Yes.

  • - Oh yes. - Just switch roles?

  • Okay.

  • - Are you ready?

  • - Yeah. - In unit?

  • - Okay.

  • All right.

  • At least perhaps you'll listen to me

  • although not sure I understand why I'm being arrested.

  • - 'Cause you're interfering with a police investigation?

  • You've broken I can't even count how many laws

  • and you piss me off.

  • - Don't like that.

  • - I can get out of these, you know.

  • - Funny.

  • What, how did you do that?

  • You a magician or something?

  • - You're still wasting time.

  • We should be out there solving a homicide

  • and punishing those responsible!

  • - We?

  • Are you insane?

  • Get in the car, I'm taking you in.

  • - But that's boring,

  • not to mention pointless.

  • Come on, it'll be fun!

  • - How could you possibly help me?

  • - Mm-mm, you'd be surprised detective.

  • I have a certain skillset, mmm.

  • I can be very persuasive with people,

  • I tend to see things others can not.

  • - So you're a psychic.

  • - No, no, I can't read people's minds.

  • I'm not a Jedi.

  • People tell me things.

  • - Really, just confess their sins?

  • Just like that?

  • - No.

  • Not their sins, I have no power over people's sins,

  • I actually get a bad rap to that.

  • But their desires, mm, different thing entirely.

  • I have the ability to draw out people's forbidden desires,

  • tempt them, taunt them.

  • The more simple, more human, the easier it is.

  • The more complex, the more challenging and exciting really.

  • But your actual sins, the sins are on you people.

  • - Are you in Bridgerton?

  • (everyone laughing)

  • - Season two, season two!

  • - You people.

  • I get it, the name, the whole Lucifer thing.

  • And what, desire is like your super power?

  • - More like a gift from God.

  • Look, I'm just a people person.

  • They feel compelled to share things with me.

  • And why wouldn't they really?

  • I'm pretty awesome.

  • - Yeah? Prove it.

  • - That I'm awesome?

  • Isn't it obvious?

  • Tell me detective,

  • what do you desire more than anything else in this life?

  • - When I was a little girl

  • I always wanted to be a cop like my daddy

  • so that one day I could help people make a difference

  • and make them shut up and get in the damn car.

  • - You're not like a Jedi or something are you?

  • - Get in the car.

  • - Wait, I know something you don't know.

  • - [Chloe] Yeah, what's that?

  • - Won't say unless you take me with you on this.

  • Please, come on.

  • I got to 2Vile, didn't I?

  • - You're unbelievable.

  • Huh.

  • You don't strike me as a celebrity stalker.

  • You weren't sleeping with her, were you?

  • - Surprisingly, no.

  • - Then why do you care about this so much, about Delilah?

  • - [Lucifer] I just do

  • - Fine,

  • But if you're a little clue doesn't pan out.

  • I'm putting these back on

  • and you're going to stay on.

  • And they're going to stay on.

  • - Lucifer cracks a smile, nods.

  • She gets in the car and follows,

  • both of them growing more and more intrigued with the other.

  • And we should have always had you guys swapped.

  • That was amazing. - Yeah, so good.

  • - End of act two.

  • - I don't like this guy. He sounds like Michael

  • and I don't like him.

  • (everyone laughing)

  • - He went Michael on Michael.

  • - Full Michael.

  • Never go full Michael.

  • - Sorry.

  • - Act three.

  • Interior Chloe's police car, driving, day.

  • Lucifer's in the backseat.

  • Chloe drives on the phone.

  • - Yeah, therapist in Beverly Hills

  • with the first name Linda.

  • See if, um, Delilah was a client please.

  • - Actually, she had a pseudonym,

  • which I also happen to know.

  • Quite good at this, aren't I?

  • Penny Lane.

  • - Delilah could have gone by a Penny Lane.

  • Okay, thanks.

  • What, don't be so smug, hasn't panned out yet.

  • - No, that's not it.

  • I knew I recognized you.

  • - Right, right, you saw my boobs.

  • Good for you.

  • Never heard that one before.

  • - Yeah, and your ass, don't forget.

  • A thing of beauty.

  • - I will pull this fucking car over right now and shoot you.

  • - I told you I'm immortal.

  • (sighing) Is the movie why you have

  • such a chip on your shoulder?

  • - Trust me, that's low on the list

  • of things that I have to live down.

  • - Yes, attractive female cop

  • struggling to be taken seriously

  • in a man's man's world, that it?

  • - Something like that.

  • - Well, who cares what the other pigs say?

  • You're a kick-ass detective.

  • Should listen to me a bit more maybe,

  • but you know who you are.

  • - I know who I am.

  • There's just a lot of people out there

  • who have a problem with it.

  • Other cops, mostly.

  • - Well they're threatened.

  • You're clearly smart and have notable instincts.

  • Ignore them, trust yourself.

  • - Chloe's cell goes off.

  • - Did I say Decker, right, Dancer.

  • Anyhow, we changed it.

  • Detective Decker, right?

  • I knew that. (laughing)

  • Only said my own name for six years, okay.

  • Detective Decker, really?

  • Okay, yeah.

  • Text it to me, thank you.

  • - [Lucifer] What?

  • - Looks like what you said holds up.

  • There's a Penny Lane

  • who sees a Dr. Linda Martin, address is in Beverly Hills.

  • - Excellent, I'll clear my schedule.

  • - Another call interrupts.

  • - Yes, what?

  • You're kidding me.

  • Is she okay?

  • Her father was supposed to pick her up today.

  • Yeah, he should be there already.

  • Of course he's not, okay.

  • I'll be there as soon as I can.

  • So listen, we have to make a pit stop.

  • - What, no, absolutely not.

  • - I have to get my kid from school.

  • She got into a fight.

  • - Well can't she get herself home?

  • - No, she's seven.

  • - I'm not here to help you run errands,

  • I'm here to help you solve a homicide.

  • - Chloe just hits the gas, pinning him to the backseat.

  • Exterior elementary school street, day.

  • Chloe pulls up in front.

  • - Wait here.

  • - With pleasure.

  • I despise children.

  • - Going frowns, gets out, locks the car doors

  • and heads into the school.

  • Lucifer stares at the car lock, it pops.

  • And then he gets out to stretch,

  • goes to light a cigarette when

  • a MILFy mom crosses his path and disappears into the school.

  • Lucifer likes what he sees, decides to follow her in.

  • Interior elementary school, day,

  • Lucifer looks around

  • but the MILFy woman has disappeared.

  • Lucifer frowns, sits down in the lobby,

  • gets ready to light a cigarette again

  • when a precocious little thing named Beatrice

  • pipes up next to him.

  • - I don't think you're allowed to smoke in here.

  • - Oh dear.

  • What will become of me?

  • - My mother's a police officer.

  • She could arrest you.

  • - Oh, I think I might know your mother.

  • We're working together on a case, top secret.

  • - You know my mother?

  • - Unfortunately yes.

  • - What's your name?

  • - Lucifer.

  • - Like the devil?

  • - Exactly.

  • - Well my name is Beatrice.

  • But everyone calls me Trixie.

  • - That's a hooker's name.

  • - What's a hooker?

  • - Ask your mother.

  • Why are you in trouble?

  • - That girl over there.

  • - The ugly one?

  • - Yes.

  • Damn, look what you just did.

  • Yes.

  • She's bullying me.

  • She made a fake Snapchat account

  • and use it to make fun of me.

  • So I kicked her in the no-no touch zone.

  • - The no-no touch zo-oh I see, well played.

  • - He gets up, walks over to the mean girl

  • and sits beside her.

  • - Hello, mean girl.

  • Did you know that you will never amount

  • to anything in this life

  • and that there's a special section of hell

  • reserved for bullies?

  • So have fun.

  • - Lucifer's eyes peel open

  • revealing a flash of horrid ones underneath.

  • Mean girl burst into tears.

  • As she does she suddenly slows.

  • In fact, everything around her slows.

  • Lucifer's grin fades.

  • We know that this means,

  • Amenadiel is near, apparently in this draft.

  • Lucifer stands, looks out in the far end of the hallway.

  • Children pass in surreal motion.

  • - Story of my fucking life.

  • (everyone laughing)

  • - We shot this too.

  • - When suddenly a distorted voice

  • calls out to Lucifer from behind.

  • He turns.

  • - Hello!

  • What did you do?

  • - Oh, I think someone is feeling a little guilty.

  • Isn't that right, child?

  • - More tears from meanie, a smile from Trixie.

  • Off Chloe WTF.

  • Exterior elementary school, street, day.

  • Lucifer, Chloe and Trixie walk out as Dan Espinoza arrives.

  • What's he doing here?

  • - Hi, Daddy.

  • - Wow, shocker, you're late.

  • - Give me a break,

  • I'm putting the case to bed.

  • - (laughing) Right?

  • Like I'm not working a case too?

  • You remember the one you tried to steal from me?

  • - Oh, you mean the open and shut one?

  • You did open and shut it, right?

  • - Have you been going rogue, dear?

  • Exciting.

  • - I'm not going, oh, that's not me.

  • - I'm not going rogue, I'm just being diligent.

  • I need to get this right, Dan.

  • It's a very high profile case.

  • - Exactly.

  • Which is why you need to be smart about it.

  • - She is smart.

  • You're a dimwit.

  • But perhaps you should refrain

  • from arguing in front of the child.

  • It's unbecoming, not to mention another waste of my time

  • which is far more important to me.

  • - Who is this douche?

  • A new boyfriend?

  • I thought we agreed not to...

  • - Please allow me to introduce myself.

  • I'm a man of wealth and taste.

  • I could make you see things

  • that would drive you blind

  • or pull your spine out through your ass, your choice.

  • But I wouldn't do any of these things in front of the child.

  • And you know why?

  • Because I, for one have excellent manners.

  • - I don't know whether to laugh or shoot you.

  • - Oh, surprise me.

  • - Isn't he funny, daddy?

  • - Hey, can you drop Trix at my mother's?

  • Thanks, I got to go. Give me a kiss, Trix, all right,

  • mommy loves you so much.

  • And good job standing up to that mean girl.

  • - Oh, thanks mommy.

  • What's a hooker?

  • - Daddy will tell you.

  • - Bye, Lucifer.

  • Nice to meet you.

  • - Mmm.

  • - I think she likes you.

  • - Of course she does.

  • What's not to like?

  • - Chloe follows after Lucifer.

  • This man is be-fucking-wildering.

  • End of act three.

  • Act four, interior therapist's office, waiting room, day.

  • Lucifer and Chloe wait.

  • - [Lucifer] (sighing) So was your offspring

  • planned or a mistake?

  • - [Chloe] Excuse me?

  • Planned, sort of.

  • - Hmm, explain to me the human desire to procreate.

  • I've never understood it.

  • Children are hideous little creatures,

  • terrible taxing burdens.

  • I mean, your kid's fine.

  • I mean, nothing to cry about

  • but nothing to be too embarrassed about either.

  • - Are you at all aware of how dickish you sound?

  • - Speaking of case.

  • Why was that dum dum you were married to

  • pressuring you to close the case?

  • - No reason.

  • - [Lucifer] Strange.

  • - Yes, you are.

  • - No, I'm still not affecting you.

  • - Well, actually you're making me nauseous.

  • - Hmm, did my father send you?

  • - Dr. Linda Martin pokes her head out.

  • - Okay Detective, I'll see you now.

  • - Interior therapist's office.

  • Lucifer and Chloe sit opposite the therapist,

  • Dr. Linda Martin, very uptight and very put together.

  • - Okay, so I'd like to ask you

  • a few questions about Delilah.

  • - You're thinking about it, aren't you?

  • - [Linda] What?

  • - It's not a good idea.

  • I'm like walking heroin.

  • Very habit forming, never ends well.

  • - I'm sorry, do you two know each other?

  • - No, but I know that look.

  • - I don't know what you're talking about.

  • - It's interesting because you don't look at me that way.

  • - What way?

  • - Well, with carnal fascination.

  • - That's because it doesn't exist.

  • - No, you see that's just it.

  • With most women, it does.

  • I tend to appeal to the dark mischievous heart

  • within all of you.

  • But you, Detective,

  • you seem oddly immune to my charms.

  • - Referring to them as charms

  • is a bit of a stretch, I think.

  • Truth be told, I find you repulsive

  • like on a chemical level.

  • Seriously, you're gross.

  • I mean, you flat out give me the heebie-jeebies.

  • - Fascinating.

  • - You say it's fascinating,

  • but I see it disturbs you, doesn't it?

  • Deeply.

  • - Dr. Martin, we know Delilah was having

  • a clandestine affair with a wealthy married man.

  • Just tell us his name and we will be on our way.

  • - I'm sorry, I can't do that.

  • - She's one of the complex ones.

  • Watch and learn.

  • Linda, darling, tell me.

  • - No, I can't. (giggling)

  • I want to, you know, but I can't.

  • You're the devil!

  • - (chuckling) Correct.

  • Now tell me, Dr. Martin, 'cause I know you want to.

  • - Oh, darn!

  • And it's really juicy too!

  • - Did you roofie her?

  • This is unbelievable.

  • - That's not her fault.

  • She's just reacting to me.

  • Watch and learn.

  • The answer is yes, Linda.

  • We can take a trip to pound town if we must

  • but you have to tell us.

  • - Mmmm (chuckling) okay!

  • It's Grey Cooper.

  • - What?!

  • Grey Cooper?

  • That is pretty juicy.

  • - The actor?

  • The one married to Amanda what's her face?

  • Oh he's horrible.

  • So square jawed and handsome, so vanilla.

  • Quite disappointed in Delilah.

  • Truly terrible taste in the opposite sex.

  • - Thank you, Doctor.

  • We will definitely be in touch.

  • Lucifer, let's go.

  • - Of course, but I made a deal.

  • I need to hold up my end of the bargain.

  • - What, you're not actually talking

  • about having sex with her right now, are you?

  • - I do a lot of yoga.

  • Hot yoga.

  • I'm freakishly flexible.

  • See?

  • Wow, really tried to keep that in.

  • - You tried, that's what matters.

  • I do apologize, but I'm going to have to take a rain check.

  • I will be back.

  • - I certainly hope so.

  • - My word is my bond.

  • - Chloe's shaking her head.

  • She's beyond stymied.

  • Following Lucifer out.

  • Exterior, downtown industrial area.

  • Lucifer walks with purpose down a dingy street

  • pushing his way past a group of onlookers

  • crowded behind a barrier.

  • As he starts to pass,

  • a feeble traffic cop tries to stop him.

  • - Sir?

  • Sir, you have to stay behind the barricade.

  • - Lucifer ignores him, stepping casually past the barricade

  • when suddenly a muscle car comes speeding around the corner

  • pursued by two police cars.

  • Lights, sirens and gunfire.

  • Muscle car's tire blows

  • and the car flips and crash slides right toward Lucifer

  • who doesn't move as it skids to a halt inches from him,

  • when we hear,

  • - Who the fuck is this guy?

  • - Oh, he's with me, sorry.

  • - But you're not Grey Cooper.

  • - No, of course not.

  • What the hell is this?

  • - We need to speak with Grey Cooper.

  • - Exterior downtown street, different area moments later.

  • Lucifer and Chloe now with the real Grey Cooper,

  • same cuts and bruises as a stunt guy

  • and the uniform stand nearby.

  • - Oh, Delilah, yeah.

  • I heard about that this morning.

  • Can't believe it.

  • We did a movie together last year.

  • Got pretty close.

  • - Lovers?

  • - Friends.

  • - Friends who were lovers.

  • - Settle down.

  • I'll handle the questions, thank you.

  • Mr. Cooper, when did you last have contact with Delilah?

  • - Sorry, I just have one more question

  • before we proceed with the boring ones.

  • Mr. Cooper, what do you want more than anything?

  • What is it?

  • What's your deepest, darkest desire?

  • When you close your eyes, what do you see?

  • - I'm the president of the United States.

  • - Hah!

  • Who's the devil now?

  • - Those are some pretty big aspirations there, Mr. Cooper.

  • - Well, after the acting and stuff.

  • - Oh, don't be embarrassed.

  • Hell if Arnold can do it, right?

  • But you wouldn't want any nasty secrets

  • screwing that up for you, would you?

  • - No, no, no, I wouldn't.

  • - Better to pull the skeletons out now,

  • the public's very forgetful.

  • - More importantly, why would you want to be a politician?

  • I mean, you get to make movies,

  • isn't that much more fun?

  • Not that I like yours much.

  • - Is there a point to this?

  • - Mr. Cooper, were you having an affair with Delilah?

  • - Honey, have you been getting my texts?

  • I thought you were breaking for lunch

  • like half an hour ago.

  • What's going on?

  • - Well, these people are detectives.

  • - Real ones?

  • - Yes, ma'am.

  • Well, you know, I am.

  • - It's really quite striking in person.

  • Luminous actually.

  • - Thank you.

  • - Interesting, I've never been very fond of you

  • on the big screen.

  • - Thank you?

  • - I'm sorry.

  • Lucifer Morningstar.

  • - Oh, wow, great name.

  • What is this all about?

  • - Oh we have some questions about Delilah.

  • - Oh, yes.

  • That's so sad.

  • - Yes, very sad.

  • - (laughing) Your watch, where'd you get it?

  • - It's a prop.

  • - No, that's the one Delilah gave you, isn't it?

  • For "Time Will Tell"?

  • - Oh, right.

  • That's the movie we did.

  • It was a wrap gift.

  • - She gave a $10,000 watch to the whole crew?

  • - Oh no, just me.

  • As far as I know.

  • We were, you know, costars and everything.

  • - You'll have to lie better than that

  • if you want to be president, (coughing) excuse me.

  • - I know, right?

  • - So you were sleeping with her then.

  • - Oh yeah.

  • - I can hear you.

  • - So can I.

  • - I just said that out loud, didn't I?

  • - Uh huh.

  • - In front of people.

  • Police people.

  • Whatever, not like I didn't know.

  • And Grey, you're a terrible liar and actor by the way.

  • - You knew?

  • - Of course!

  • Why do you think I've been sleeping with Bobby?

  • - (gasping) Are you serious?

  • - Oh yeah.

  • And let me tell you, it's good.

  • I climb that man like a tree.

  • (woman laughing)

  • - My bodyguard?

  • What a cliche.

  • - Oh, okay.

  • I'm a cliche.

  • Well you're a dick.

  • (everyone laughing)

  • - Arrest them.

  • One of them's gotta be guilty.

  • - Well, that was fun.

  • - Everybody fights.

  • And now,

  • (everyone laughing)

  • - I read somebody's part, I'm so sorry.

  • - Now Chloe can't help

  • but crack the slightest smug smile at this time.

  • And they watch the chaos they both created.

  • Exterior Lux, street, night.

  • A vigil honoring Delilah on the sidewalk,

  • candles and letters around a small TV playing

  • one of Delilah's performances.

  • Now we're inside Lux, night.

  • Chloe's got a beer in one hand, cell in the other.

  • Smug smile gone.

  • Lucifer sips his scotch, spinning that coin.

  • Maze stands a few yards away watching disapprovingly.

  • - I know, I know, check again.

  • What about their assistants' phones, nannies,

  • fan pages, Twitter?

  • Okay.

  • Well, call if anything changes.

  • Grey and Amanda have zero connection

  • to the shooter or the driver.

  • Maybe Dan was right.

  • Maybe the shooter wasn't working for anyone.

  • Maybe this does start and end with him.

  • - No, I don't believe it.

  • - He did have the same damn watch as Grey.

  • Can't be a coincidence.

  • Maybe Delilah gave it to him too,

  • kind of her go-to gift.

  • - Well, that would imply she was sleeping with that maggot.

  • - Let's see, Jimmy, 2Vile, Grey Cooper.

  • She was sleeping with three other maggots.

  • Not like she has tremendous discretion.

  • God, why am I here?

  • - Wrong deity, but that is the eternal question, isn't it?

  • - No, I mean here, in a bar with you.

  • - Well I don't know, Detective.

  • Despite your proclaimed revulsion,

  • you can't deny there's a connection between us.

  • Tell me, what do you really want?

  • - You mean, what do I desire more

  • than anything else in this life?

  • - Hmm, yes.

  • No tricks.

  • Not that they work with you anyway, you freak.

  • Just tell me, I'm curious.

  • - I suppose what I was saying before, you know, to you

  • was kind of true.

  • I do want to help people.

  • - Ugh, your purity repulses me.

  • - Well, your lack of it isn't wildly attractive either.

  • My father was a cop, pretty great one.

  • My mother was an actress, pretty cheesy one.

  • And she tried to kill me in a scene

  • with a glass, just kidding.

  • I tried the acting thing.

  • I took my top off.

  • Not exactly contributing to the betterment of society.

  • - Disagree.

  • - Anyway.

  • Didn't like how it made me feel about myself.

  • So I quit.

  • I became a cop like my old man,

  • dealt with the whole Hot Tub High School thing

  • till I became a detective

  • and found a whole new way to ostracize myself.

  • - Ah, the reason your ex-maggot

  • was pressuring you to close this.

  • - Yeah.

  • A few months ago, I saw a case differently

  • than a lot of people in my department including my ex.

  • I stuck my neck out.

  • It backfired.

  • Now it seems like most of them hate me

  • and nobody wants to work with me.

  • - Chloe shakes her head, but can't help but smile.

  • Maze interrupts to grab the glasses

  • when a familiar music clip plays.

  • - Too bad your little protege's not around

  • to cash the check.

  • - [Chloe] Wow.

  • - [Lucifer] What?

  • - Delilah didn't get that watch to Eddie.

  • - Interior recording studio later that night.

  • Late night session, a young boy band recording.

  • Tired mixers at work

  • and Jimmy harping on a Justin Biebery kid.

  • Door booms open, techs and mixers curse,

  • as Lucifer and Chloe interrupt the session

  • making a beeline for Jimmy.

  • - Hello Jimmy, how are the album sales doing?

  • - Ready, Tom?

  • - Oh, yes please, hit me.

  • - I believe Whitney Houston reached the top 10

  • for album sales after her death.

  • Michael Jackson hit the stratosphere.

  • Having Delilah killed,

  • you're bound to reach at least the top 20.

  • That's a truckload of royalty checks coming your way.

  • Guess you need that cash, huh?

  • Which is why you had to pay the shooter with your watch.

  • - The watch Delilah gave you.

  • Now that's just sick

  • but then you are so...

  • - Jimmy's sweaty face turns red.

  • He grabs one of the boy bands as a shield

  • and whips out a fucking gun!

  • Chloe's gun is out in a blink.

  • - Whoa!

  • Whoa, whoa, hey Jimmy.

  • - I made her!

  • And she ruined me!

  • She humiliated me!

  • She owes me!

  • - You're not God, Jimmy.

  • You didn't make her.

  • But you did destroy her

  • so I'm going to punish you.

  • - Back off, you freak!

  • I mean it!

  • I'm not going to prison for that bitch.

  • No fucking chance!

  • - Oh shit. - Listen to him.

  • Back off.

  • - It's fine, I told you I'm immortal.

  • - Jimmy's twitchy.

  • Lucifer gets too close and Jimmy's swings his gun up

  • to fire on Lucifer and boom!

  • Chloe gets off two shots first.

  • One hits a lamp, the other nails Jimmy.

  • He drops to the ground dead.

  • And here's the fun part.

  • Lucifer's pissed.

  • - Why did you do that?

  • - He was going to kill you.

  • - No, no, no, you just let him off too easy.

  • He needs to suffer, he needs to pay,

  • he needs to feel the pain, not escape it.

  • - Well, I mean, don't worry.

  • I'm sure where he's going, the punishment's coming. -

  • - Actually, no it's not.

  • And why?

  • Because I'm here, and he-

  • - Boom, boom, boom!

  • All eyes were off Jimmy who was still ticking

  • and fires off three shots of Chloe.

  • One lands.

  • Chloe goes down.

  • - No!

  • - Chloe staggers, blood coming up fast.

  • Lucifer hurries to her side.

  • - I don't want to die.

  • - I won't let you.

  • My father will just have to wait for you.

  • - The moment is interrupted by more shots from Jimmy.

  • Lucifer protects Chloe now

  • using his own body as a shield.

  • - Jimmy is crazy.

  • (everyone laughing)

  • - That's right, motherfuckers!

  • - Wait here just a second.

  • - Lucifer turns and we stay in Chloe's POV

  • her vision blurred, distorted.

  • She's catching only glimpses

  • but sees Lucifer walk over,

  • grab Jimmy by the neck

  • and slam him up against the nearby glass booth.

  • The glass cracks in a spider web

  • and we see Lucifer's broken demonic face

  • in the shattered glass behind Jimmy.

  • - Please don't kill me.

  • - You're gonna wish that was all I did to you.

  • - And then Chloe's vision is lost to black

  • and we hear Jimmy's blood curdling scream.

  • Over that moment of darkness

  • which then gives away to a bright tunnel of light.

  • Oh wait, it's just regular light.

  • A hospital bed light.

  • Interior hospital room, day.

  • Chloe is coming to.

  • We find Lucifer hovering over her.

  • - Well, look who's back.

  • - How long have I been out?

  • - Three years.

  • (everyone laughing)

  • - You're such an ass.

  • He was firing at you.

  • Why are you not more dead?

  • - You're having a very hard time

  • with the whole immortal thing, aren't you?

  • - I must have been delirious from the blood loss.

  • - Well, whatever helps you sleep, my dear.

  • - What happened to Jimmy?

  • - He got what he deserved.

  • - Well, I am pretty sure I'd be dead

  • if you hadn't have helped me.

  • So, thank you.

  • - Sorry, I missed that last part.

  • - Thank you!

  • - You're welcome.

  • Besides, you're far too interesting to let die.

  • - You saved my life because you find me interesting?

  • - Wildly irritating as well, but yes.

  • - So now what?

  • - Well, obviously I've proved myself

  • as an invaluable crime fighting tool.

  • You were a pariah in the department.

  • I think this is the beginning

  • of a beautiful friendship, don't you?

  • - Who the hell are you?

  • - I told you.

  • I'm-

  • - Lucifer!

  • - [Joe] It's Trixie, ex-husband Dan in tow.

  • - Oh, now now.

  • That's enough, child.

  • Save some of this unpleasantness for your mother.

  • I think she's one hell

  • of a homicide detective, don't you?

  • - Uh yeah, she is.

  • I'm happy for you.

  • - Yeah, thanks.

  • - I'm trying to compliment you here.

  • - Okay.

  • I will take it.

  • Thank you.

  • - You're welcome.

  • - I bet the department's surfing. (laughing)

  • Dan, are you okay?

  • - I'm being a douche,

  • that's my version of a douche.

  • - I love it.

  • - It feels like Kevin's here, so.

  • - Yeah it's just like Kevin actually.

  • Spot on.

  • - Uncanny.

  • Where were we?

  • - Top of 37.

  • - Yeah, but you need to be more careful.

  • - Yeah, but you need to be more careful.

  • You should've had backup.

  • - She had backup.

  • - Thank you,

  • for helping her.

  • - (sighing) It's hard for you, isn't it?

  • Not to be a douche.

  • Well I'd stay for the family reunion,

  • but it's given me terrible IBS.

  • Look forward to seeing you soon, Chloe.

  • - I don't.

  • - Bye now.

  • Glad you're not dead.

  • - Yeah.

  • - Lucifer leaves but looks back for a moment,

  • curious as to why he gives a good god damn

  • about any of them.

  • He frowns, troubled.

  • Exterior Lux, street, night.

  • Lucifer pulls up, gets out,

  • handing his keys to the valet who greets him with a smile

  • and says nothing

  • because he has just slipped into slow motion.

  • - Ugh, bloody hell.

  • What do you want from me?

  • - I've been watching you, Lucifer.

  • - Perv.

  • - I'm not sure that I like what I see.

  • You've been showing restraint, mercy.

  • - I'm scared I'm turning away from the dark side, bro.

  • Going to give you a little competition for dad's fave?

  • Don't worry, I'm not.

  • - Oh, I don't believe you.

  • The human world can be even more painful than hell, Lucifer.

  • Stay here and prepare to feel things

  • you have never felt before.

  • - Don't threaten me, Amenadiel.

  • You won't win.

  • - Then go back.

  • - You're the one who's threatened.

  • - Oh, Luci.

  • My hatred of you grow stronger with every visit.

  • - Wouldn't have it any other way, pal.

  • Look forward to eating your heart one day.

  • Peace.

  • - Amenadiel turns and walks off.

  • Lucifer watches him go.

  • These two brothers will never, ever,

  • ever be close.

  • Interior (everyone laughing)

  • Interior Lux, moments later.

  • That was my narrating, by the way.

  • Lucifer drops down at the piano.

  • Maze watces from a short distance.

  • What looks like a dagger spins on its point

  • in the palm of her hand.

  • But before we get a good luck, she stops it,

  • walks over to Lucifer quiet.

  • - Hints of disapproval, Maze, what is it?

  • - I just can understand why you would save a human life.

  • - There's something different about her.

  • Something I can't figure out and it vexes me.

  • - Maybe it's not her that's different.

  • - Is this where I ask whatever do you mean?

  • - Stop caring.

  • You're the devil.

  • - Yes.

  • Yes, I am.

  • - But there's doubt in his eyes

  • as he launches into an eerie instrumental rendition

  • of "Gimme Shelter", which continues over

  • into your therapist's office, waiting room, day.

  • Dr. Linda Martin sits in her office

  • as she notices a little red light blinking over a door.

  • She's confused.

  • Doesn't have an appointment right now.

  • She gets up, opens the door.

  • Linda startles cause Lucifer's standing right there.

  • - Here's the deal.

  • We can have as much naked cuddle time as you desire

  • but I need you to listen to me too.

  • I have a few things I'd like to discuss with you.

  • An existential dilemma or two.

  • Deal?

  • - Linda smiles, deal.

  • And as the door shuts behind,

  • we smash to black

  • and Van Halen's "Running With The Devil" kicks in.

  • On a show that,

  • I don't know, the devil solving crimes.

  • - I know, never gonna work. - I don't see it

  • lasting a season.

  • - Will it get picked up?

  • Will it get picked up? - End of pilot!

  • (clapping)

  • - It's got three years tops.

  • (actors laughing)

  • - You guys, that was awesome!

  • And it is so nice to see all of your faces.

  • - Nice! - Mwah, mwah, mwah.

  • - Bye, guys.

  • - Hi, bye.

  • - Thanks for watching, guys. - Thanks, everybody.

  • - We love you, take care.

  • - Love you guys, bye.

  • - Bye. - Bye, everybody.

  • (electronic music)

(electronic music)

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