Name: 與他人建立融洽的關係 - 6分鐘英語 (Building rapport with others - 6 Minute English)
Uploaded: 2021-07-06T21:01:30.000Z
Duration: 6 min 17 s

Hello. This is 6 Minute English from BBC Learning English. I'm Neil.

你好，歡迎來到由 BBC 學英文所製作播出的 6 分鐘學英文節目。我是尼爾。

Georgina and I have got to know each other very well after working together for so long.

因為一起共事了很久，喬治娜和我已經非常瞭解彼此了。

I know what sandwiches Neil has for lunch. Egg and tomato, right, Neil?

我知道尼爾午餐的三明治裡夾著什麼料。雞蛋和番茄，對吧，尼爾？

Right! And I know it really annoys Georgina when people don't wash up their cups in the staff kitchen.

沒錯！然後我也知道喬治娜對大家用完杯子之後，就直接放在員工廚房裡不清洗乾淨感到很火大。

But just as important as getting to know someone, socially or at work, is getting on with people.

但不論是在社交或是工作上，除了瞭解他人以外，更重要的是知道怎麼和別人相處。

To get on with someone is a useful phrasal verb, meaning to like someone and enjoy a friendly relationship with them.

和別人好好相處 (to get on with someone) 是個實用的片語動詞，意思是喜歡某人並享受與他們之間的友好關係。

Which is really important if you work with them every day!

這對每天要一起工作的對象來說特別重要！

And there's another word to describe the good understanding and communication between two friends: rapport.

另一個能用來形容兩個朋友間對彼此充分的理解與溝通的詞是：默契 (rapport)。

Yes, how you build rapport and get on with people has been the subject of many self-help books over the years, and is the topic of this programme.

是的，如何建立有默契的關係並與人和諧相處在近年來已經成為許多自助書的主題，也是今天本節目的主題。

Well, you and I must have great rapport, Georgina, because that leads perfectly into my quiz question.

那麼， 喬治娜，你和我肯定有很好的默契，因為你剛才說的可以完美引導至我的問答題目。

In 1936, American writer Dale Carnegie wrote a famous self-help book on building rapport.

在 1936 年，美國作家戴爾．卡內基寫了一本關於如何建立默契的著名自助書。

It sold over 30 million copies, making it one of the best-selling books of all time - but what was it called?

它賣出了超過 3000 萬冊，成為了有史以來最暢銷的書籍之一。但該書的書名叫做什麼？

Is it: a) How to get rich quick?, b) How to stop worrying and make friends?, or c) How to win friends and influence people?

是 a) 如何快速致富？，或 b) 如何不再憂慮並交到朋友？，還是 c) 如何贏取友誼與影響他人？

I'm going to say, c) How to win friends and influence people.

我覺得是 c) 如何贏取友誼與影響他人。

OK, Georgina, we'll find out if that's right at the end of the programme.

好的，喬治娜，我們會在節目的最後揭曉你的答案正不正確。

When it comes to getting on with people, psychologist Emily Alison has a few ideas.

談到與人相處的方法， 心理學家 Emily Alison 有些獨到的想法。

She's built a career working with the police as they build rapport with criminal suspects.

他已藉由幫助警察與犯罪嫌犯建立默契闖出了一片天。

Emily is the author of a new book "Rapport: the four ways to read people", and she told BBC Radio 4 programme "All In The Mind" it isn't easy to get along with everyone:

艾密莉是新書《默契：讀懂人心的四個方式》的作者。他在接受 BBC 4 號廣播電台節目「全心全意」採訪時，談論到要與人相處並不容易：

I often describe rapport-building in relationships as like walking a tightrope.

我常將一段關係中的默契建立過程比喻為走鋼索，

Because you really do need to maintain that balance of being objective, treating people with compassion,

因為你需要維持客觀並同理他人，

but that doesn't mean I'm sympathetic, I'm collusive - it's that balance between judgement and avoidance.

但這不代表我同情或想要與你同流合汙，也就是說你需要在判斷與迴避之間做出平衡。

Emily describes rapport building as like walking a tightrope, an idiom to describe being in a difficult situation which requires carefully considering what to do.

艾密莉將建立默契的過程形容為走鋼索一般 (walking a tightrope)，這是用來描述身處需要審慎思考下一步的情況下所能使用的諺語。

Building rapport with "terrorists" or violent criminals isn't easy.

要與「恐怖份子」或是暴力罪犯建立默契並不容易。

Emily doesn't sympathise with what they have done, but she tries to remain objective - to base her judgement on the facts, not personal feelings.

艾密莉並不同情他們所做過的一切，但她試圖保持客觀，也就是以事實而非個人情感作為判斷依據。

In her book, Emily identifies four main communication styles which she names after animals.

在她的書中，艾密莉列出了四個以動物取名的主要溝通風格。

The best at building rapport is the friendly and cooperative monkey.

建立默契的最好方法是友善且合作的猴子。

And there's a pair of opposites: the bossy lion, who wants to take charge and control things, and the more passive mouse.

然後是兩種相反的風格：總是想掌管並控制一切的霸道獅子，以及較為被動的老鼠。

Here's Emily talking to BBC Radio 4's "All In The Mind" about the fourth animal, the T-Rex.

艾密莉在接受 BBC 4 號廣播電台節目「全心全意」採訪時，描述了第四種動物：暴龍。

Try to listen out for the communication style of this personality:

試著聽出這種人格的溝通風格：

You've got the T-Rex which is conflict - so this is argument, whether you're approaching it from a positive position where you can be direct, frank about your message

暴龍型的人喜歡正面衝突，不論你是從正面積極的角度，坦率的向他們表達你的意見

or you approach that in a negative way by being attacking, judgmental, argumentative, sarcastic, and that actually breeds the same behaviour back.

或是以攻擊性、武斷、爭論、諷刺等的負面角度切入，都會得到同樣的行為作為反應。

So anyone who has teenagers will 100% recognise that - if you meet sarcasm with sarcasm, it's only going to go one way.

任何家裡有青少年的人都 100% 碰過這種狀況：用諷刺對付諷刺，最後只會有一種結果。

All four communication styles have good and bad points.

全部四種溝通風格都各有優缺。

On the positive side, T-Rex type people are frank - they express themselves in an open, honest way.

往好處想，暴龍類型的人是相當坦率的：他們以開放、誠實的方式來表達自己的想法。

But T-Rex types can also be sarcastic - say the opposite of what they really mean, in order to hurt someone's feelings or criticise them in a funny way.

但暴龍類型的人也有諷刺人的一面：也就是說反話來傷害別人的感情，或是以搞笑的方式批評別人，傷了對方感情。

Yes, sarcasm is a strange thing - like saying, "Oh, I really like your haircut", when in fact you don't!

是的，諷刺是一種奇怪的行為。比如說：「哦，我真的很喜歡你的髮型」，但實際是你並不喜歡！

Yes. There's an English saying that sarcasm is the lowest form of humour, but I think British people can be quite sarcastic at times.

沒錯。有句英文俗諺是「諷刺是最低階的幽默」，但我覺得英國人有時候真的是挺喜歡諷刺人的。

Well, I can't image you'd make many friends being rude to people.

這個嘛，我想一個人如果太沒有禮貌的話是交不到多少朋友的。

Maybe they should read Dale Carnegie's self-help book.

或許他們都該讀讀戴爾．卡內基的自助書。

Ah yes, your quiz question, Neil. Was my answer right?

啊對了，尼爾，你的問答題。我的答案是對的嗎？

In my quiz question, I asked Georgina for the title of Dale Carnegie's best-selling self-help book about building rapport.

在我的問答題中，我問了喬治娜由戴爾．卡內基所著，關於建立默契的暢銷自助書的書名是什麼。

I said the book is called, c) How to win friends and influence people.

我說書名是 c) 如何贏取友誼與影響他人。

And I guess you've read it, Georgina, because you have lots of friends.

我猜你應該有讀過這本書，喬治娜，因為你有很多朋友。

Absolutely not! I'm not a sarcastic T-Rex type, more of a friendly monkey!

絕對不是！比起會諷刺人的暴龍，我更像是一隻友好的猴子！

OK, well, let's stay friends and recap the vocabulary from this programme, starting with rapport - a good feeling between two people based on understanding and communication.

好喔，那我們還能繼續當朋友，一起來回顧今天節目內的單字。從默契 (rapport) 開始：它的意思是兩個人之間由理解與溝通所構成的友好情感。

If you get on with someone, you like and enjoy a friendly relationship with them.

如果你能與某人好好相處 (get on with someone)，代表你喜歡並享受與他們之間的關係。

Walking a tightrope means to be in a difficult situation which requires careful consideration of what to do.

走在鋼索上 (walking a tightrope) 指的是身處在需要審視評估該怎麼做的艱難環境下。

To be objective is to base your actions on facts rather than personal feelings.

客觀 (objective) 是指依據事實，而不是個人感受來行動。

When building rapport with someone, it's good to be frank - to express yourself in an open, honest way.

在與他人建立默契時，最好誠實 (frank) 以對：也就是用開放且真誠的方式表達自己的想法。

But not sarcastic - to say the opposite of what you really mean, in order to hurt someone's feelings or criticise them in a humorous way.

但不要變得諷刺 (sarcastic)：也就是說反話來傷害別人的感情，或以詼諧的方式批評他人。

Well, Neil, if we run over six minutes we'll break our rapport with the 6 Minute English producer, so that's all for this programme!

尼爾，如果我們的節目超過六分鐘，我們就要打破和「6 分鐘學英文」節目製片間的默契了，所以今天的節目就此告一段落！

Join us again soon for more trending topics and useful vocabulary.

繼續收聽本節目以瞭解更多熱門話題和實用單字。

And remember to download the BBC Learning English app and stay friends by following us on social media.

並記得下載 BBC 學英文應用程式，並在社交媒體上追隨我們來保持朋友關係。