Yeah, Yeah.

Mhm.

Um Yeah.

Mhm.

Mhm.

Mhm.

Yeah.

Mhm.

Personally, what's affected my anxiety the most is the amount of negativity that I see, there's just literally too much, like I find that the more I'm looking at a screen, the more detached I feel with my own body or to like what's happening right in front of me, my relationship with social media is you know, a bit addictive right now, which I don't like and I'm not proud to say that, but I also feel like that's something that probably most of us can relate to.

Like, I don't like that, I feel the need to have social media in the first place.

There really is like no escaping it.

There's plenty of research out there that really demonstrates that social media acts very much like an addiction, it stimulates the same part of the brain and substance use.

So when you think about it, you are always looking for that positive reinforcement.

The idea of what could happen, whether you're gonna get a like or whether you know, somebody's going to repost you really keeps you coming back very much like an addiction, right?

I don't know, is that something just as society, we're conditioned from a very young age to like feel like we need that validation, That sense of not getting that enough positive reinforcement from our home environment, not feeling rooted, allows us to really look outside of ourselves for our reward.

And I think that social media really pulls for that.

It's so interesting that you say that because a lot of the feedback, if it is negative that I've ever gotten is like, oh you're setting a bad example or this is horrible that I wouldn't want my kid to see this or what do you think when parents say for example to you, when they say, you know, you're setting a bad example for my kids, I don't know how much you know about my family or us, but there's there's an assumption of the kind of people that we are or who we are that I could say pretty confidently is pretty inaccurate.

I mean we have a reality tv show, so a lot of people know a lot of our lives, but I think that there's still such a lack of actually knowing our character, who we are, when you think about even even a reality show is going to show the highlights of your life, right?

When somebody really thinks about keeping up, how do you keep up with the Kardashians?

Right.

It is obviously either can be used as a motivation to be your very best or it can be used as an impossibility if somebody is really struggling with identity issues and with confidence issues, the idea of keeping up with this image of somebody that you admire may really seem impossible.

And perhaps that's part of the sort of rationale as to why for some folks, you can check me by the way, totally sit here and be like, mm, this is what this is what people think.

Can you give me an example of a time where you kind of have, like, would highlight a peak moment of anxiety that is related to social media for you.

Something that like, boils my blood that really frustrates me and like, I think upsets me the most is when it's someone claiming a false narrative for me, the internet, I guess basis things off of such small moments with no context.

They don't know that before or the after and they'll take that and run with it and then completely judge you based off of this one little thing.

Well, that's the thing.

I think there's a certain loss of control of your own sense of self and I think that people can kind of edited to their own to fit their own purpose and to fit their own sense of reality or lack of reality, and then you just become like a canvas upon which people project their own stuff onto.

And it's got to be really difficult.

I think that that's probably very similar to what Children feel when they're bullied online.

You know, you post something and then somebody can take something that you might give them and really distorted in such a way that comes back is very aggressive.

You know, I I pride myself on being a pretty decent human being, like, I don't think I'm a bad person or anything, so I wouldn't I'm not saying it's, you know, something actually bad that I would have posted or whatever, it's just it's something as simple as they didn't like what I looked like in that photo, and I'm sure that getting that type of feedback does something to you, does something to your confidence, even even Kendall Jenner, I'm sure getting the type of feedback, does something to you, how do you feel when you get sort of, that type of critical feedback?

I have moments of feeling like I'm breaking or feeling like I can't take it anymore, because sometimes it does feel like it just, I can never do anything that right, sometimes can never please everybody.

So this this period of intense anxiety for you, um it seems to me it's a perfect example of this sort of separation of yourself, here's the Kendall at home, little young girl who is now being pushed on the world stage, having to sort of play this roll out knowing that your image is going to be out there for everyone to consume, there's got to be sort of this and judge.

So how do you think that has uh that that projection of you in social media, how has that affected your ability to really kind of feel anchored and connected to your say, authentic self, for lack of a better word?

Well, it's just interesting because there are, first of all, so many images of me on the internet, ones that I'm fine with and ones that I don't necessarily like, you know what I mean?

A lot of the times, the ones that I don't like are the ones that get more attention because they're the ones that everyone wants to kind of take and rip apart.

So I think that I've become numb to all of that in a way that took time though, and that took a lot of like talking to myself and hyping myself up and because of social media, everything is highlighted, everything is heightened, whether good or bad.

I feel like most of my social media anxiety is actually more the overwhelming nous of it all over stimulation, right?

Where you realize that our brains are really not designed to be bombarded by all the stimulus that's coming our way all of the time.

What is actually like a lot like what is happening is happening in the brain?

Yes, I think, you know that this sense of overwhelm is very real and there's a point in which the brain can no longer process all the information that's coming our way.

And so there's an actual shutdown very similar to what happens in a trauma response.

It stimulates that sort of animal impulse of fight flight or freeze response.

And if we can't process everything that's happening, then we start to freeze and we start to feel like we're no longer in the world.

So there is a sense of the realization that happens.

And you know, I think with with Covid really keeping young people out of relationships and social interaction, we don't have that human connection anymore, which I feel like we as human beings need it.

Well that's the ultimate ironies and that that the internet can social media can really allow us to feel like we have millions and millions of friends in the world when in reality we could be very lonely right at home.

And it's the sense that you start to trade your real life for the imagined life, were constantly being bombarded by a new role model or buy a new standard of beauty or buy a new desire that we just can't quite be adequate enough to meet.

And I think this is the dangerous part where a lot of young people really fall into heartful clinical depression that oftentimes leaves into either self harm addiction.

We've seen that addiction has really increased during this time or you know, worst suicide.

I feel like it's something that we're now stuck in.

Do you know what I mean?

Like how do we know there's no reversing?

I hope that one of the things that we learned from this is exactly what you said is that there is a need for us to be connected in real time.

That kind of content is critical for our well being.

Yeah, it's part of it has to be part of our, one of our tips of the day is go give someone a hug.

So something that I'm asking all the professionals on this series is just some I don't know, tips tricks tools that you can kind of that the viewers can take home with them or the priority home but take away with them and really apply to their life their lifestyles.

I would say probably four tips, one is being aware of your intention.

When you engage in social media, why are you doing it?

Why are you connecting recognizing that once you put an image out there, you may not always have control over how that image is going to be consumed.

I think the third, recognizing that addiction is very real in social media and that it operates very much like any other addiction.

And so setting some limits, appropriate limits and boundaries is really critical and I would say lastly is set some time for yourself to really socialize with people, stay connected to those that love you and really recognize that no human being is an island.

We are old human beings who socialize and need to socialize in order to stay protected.

Yeah well thank you so much.

Thank you.

This has been very thoroughly amazing.

I really have enjoyed being here with you.

I think it's interesting because a lot of our conversation about social media was how like overwhelming everything can be and I think even just talking about it was really overwhelming, like it's almost a sense of validation.

Hearing it from a professional or fit hearing it from a doctor of like okay I'm not the only one that's you know dealing with these thoughts or emotions and how invasive it feels like in my life but it's good to be aware of it all and it's good to talk about it and kind of let it out and then now you can be aware process and hopefully move forward.

Mm.

Mhm, mm.

Yeah.