You want some sort of comfort and like you might also want that distraction.

And sometimes you just have to as their supporters sit there and ride the wave with them.

Mhm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was like I said really little and I was experiencing like, you know, symptoms of anxiety.

Not even my mom could tell me, oh, that's anxiety.

There's been moments for sure where like even it's me who's freaking out.

So I'm like, I can't do this, I can't get out of bed today.

Like, like, oh my gosh, I'm, you know, having a moment.

I I don't want I can't go to work.

Like this is impossible.

She will try and support me as a mom, but then she's also my manager, so then she's like, well you have to go to work.

It can be frustrating sometimes when you're like, but I just wish you could be inside of my body to know exactly what I'm feeling right now and why I physically can't get out of bed right now.

I wanted to specifically talk to you today about how to be a better ally to people in your inner circle who may suffer from anxiety.

Absolutely.

Well, I think first of all, we need to recognize that anxiety is really common.

It's sort of our body's response to something that makes us afraid.

It's a threat.

But I think the way to help as an ally is to first recognize when someone is having what would be considered usual anxiety and when it moves into where it's problematic and it interferes with their ability to function.

Like you just said, recognizing when this might be something that you guys can just kind of deal with on your own, or if it's something that might need to be taken to a more serious level, well, let's take a moment to kind of break down anxiety.

You know, I'm a psychiatrist, so I think about these things very methodically.

So let's start with the physical, A person might have an elevated heart rate or heart palpitations, shortness of breath, just a sense of, you know, my body is kind of on like supercharge your just going really rapidly.

You might feel dizzy or lightheaded and sometimes people just feel as if they may be having a heart attack or about to have a seizure and then there are the psychological components fear that I'm going crazy, a fear that something bad is going to happen.

And then there might be the sort of obsessive thoughts about things that have happened in the past, over generalization, overthinking, and it just gets into this kind of a track where your brain just can't get off that thinking and then that might affect behaviors.

So when anxieties around for a long time, we noticed that people start isolating, they start avoiding things they may not want to go out.

I know that you know, your experience in terms of like going out on the catwalk or being on an airplane, all of those things that normally we just do without thinking for the person who's had a panic attack in that situation, it takes them back there.

So hearing that those are like normal in the anxiety world to feel those things, it comforts you a little bit.

And as more people come out and talk about their mental health problems are their anxiety.

The more the public is aware that, hey, this is a real thing, but especially during the recent normal wasn't the right word.

Try to avoid that.

But sometimes, you know, it's just, it normalizes it.

And since more people are talking about it, both on social media and in conversations, people are open about the fact that they're in treatment.

Again, it's so common and so many people suffer from it, but only about maybe a third of people truly get help.

You know, For me personally, I've never gotten into medication, but I'm sure, I'm sure at a certain level it's, it's necessary for some people know, well medication is a choice and people that have minor anxiety to moderate anxiety, I certainly recommend that you should try having some type of routine.

There are things that you can do like meditation, going for a walk, having a nice hot bath or camomile tea, even going for a jog, sometimes getting exercise really helps.

But there does get to a certain point, at least in my department where we see folks who their anxiety is so crippling and they might have a more serious illness like obsessive compulsive disorder or generalized anxiety disorder where they can't function.

That gets to the point where you can't get out of bed, you can't face the public or you can't go out of your house, then it might be time to talk to someone and maybe a medical doctor is one of those people.

Unfortunately every medication that a psychiatrist prescribes has both benefits and side effects.

And one of the unfortunate things is that some of these medications that can be habit forming.

And so it's an important conversation to have with the professional.

Is this the right thing for me to do and then to do it under close supervision?

Totally.

I know that you probably mentor some younger folks in the business.

What things do you observe in them when they're having anxiety?

It's so interesting because my sister actually came to me two days ago and was talking to me about it because she was like lately I've been having shortness of breath and I've been getting tingling and numb.

She was expressing all these feelings she had had.

And it's so interesting being on the other side of it and really feel like, okay, I can understand you and I can sit here and do what I would hope someone would do for me when I thought it was on that end of it.

Well, that's a great story.

And when you experience someone else's anxiety through their eyes and you put it through your lens and telling them, hey, I've had this, it'll get better tell them what things you did and try to help them find their personal cure.

I think that's something that's not maybe as talked about is anxiety in a workplace.

Um, whether it be, you know, a general environment that feels very hank anxious or even just if you're personally feeling it and you feel like you want to go talk to your boss about and it depends on the workplace.

Certainly in smaller workplaces, there isn't like a big hR human resources department to go to to get help.

But I think if you witness it in a co worker, the first thing is to let them know high.

I see something's changing.

We need to work as a team.

Here.

Is there something that I can talk with you about?

You need to realize that you're not necessarily their therapist and if it is going to your boss, I try to have people frame it through medical condition.

Like I have anxiety, especially if it's something that's been diagnosed and that's ongoing.

I might need to have accommodations because it is one of those illnesses that's covered under the americans with disabilities act.

So in the workplace there are certain things like giving people more time, giving people more space coming up with hybrid alternatives.

So I have some questions from our audience.

The first question, how do you get older generations to understand anxiety and validate one's feelings, anxiety stretches across all generations.

It might manifest itself in different ways.

So when you start talking across generational lines, I think it's just important to try to find a common language and talking about your experience of fear, your experience of uncertainty of disappointment.

Those are things that people of all they just should be able to relate to.

Okay, question two.

What advice can you share for maintaining friendships in which you are both mentally ill.

I think it can be really helpful that you support each other and not be judgmental of each other.

But I think you have to be cautious that you don't try to fix each other and help that person get to the right assistance when you feel like it's beyond your ability.

Well thank you so much.

I think the last thing that I would love to hear from you and something that we're doing with the professionals that come in here is just getting some tips or tricks or something that the viewers can kind of apply to their lives at home.

So one technique that I like to advise people to try, it's called box breathing, okay?

And it's breathing where you focus on a visual where you drop box in your mind.

I want to give it a try.

Okay?

So just close your eyes and then we're gonna draw a box up as you breathe in and you inhale 1234 and then pause, draw a line across 12 and then we're going to dropbox line down 1234 paws and then draw another line 12 And then pause, draw a line up, inhale 1234 and you just kind of keep cycling through drawing those lines and boxes.

I like that one, we'll get you to focus on the breath.

And I also want to point out that as much as we've talked about being a good ally, being a good friend and helper, it's important to remember that when things get beyond your abilities, don't be afraid to either yourself or someone else to call for help.

You can start by finding a licensed therapist or counselor, talking to your family doctor, your primary care doctor or even going to resources online where you look for your insurance companies, provider carrier number, call them up or call a helpline to just get some assistance.

Well, thank you so much.

I really appreciate you coming and teaching me some things.

Well, thank you for the opportunity for doing this.

I loved dr bonds.

He is amazing.

I just wanted to give him a hug.

I thought he was so awesome.

I thought it was really interesting that he had said how overwhelming it can be for the person who's trying to be the caretaker, for someone who's experiencing mental illness.

And he is that And he said himself, he's like I suffer from anxiety to so at some point you have to, you know, you can help as many people as you want, but you also have to remember to check in on yourself.