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Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.,
小馬丁.路德.金博士
in a 1968 speech where he reflects upon the Civil Rights Movement,
在 1968 年一場演講中反思人權運動時,
states, "In the end,
說道:「最終,
we will remember not the words of our enemies
我們會記得的並非敵人的話語,
but the silence of our friends."
而是朋友的沉默。」
As a teacher, I've internalized this message.
身為教師,我把這句話內化了。
Every day, all around us,
每天在我們的周遭
we see the consequences of silence
都能看見沉默的後果
manifest themselves in the form of discrimination,
以各種形式呈現:
violence, genocide and war.
歧視、暴力、屠殺、戰爭。
In the classroom, I challenge my students
在教室中,我鼓勵學生
to explore the silences in their own lives
透過詩作,在生活中探索沉默。
through poetry.
我們一起填滿那些空白、
We work together to fill those spaces,
認識它們、指出它們
to recognize them, to name them,
並瞭解它們並不必是種羞恥。
to understand that they don't have to be sources of shame.
為了在教室裡創造這種文化,
In an effort to create a culture within my classroom
讓學生分享他們所沉默的事而感到自在,
where students feel safe sharing the intimacies
我將四個核心原則放到黑板上,
of their own silences,
就在教室最前方,
I have four core principles posted on the board
每位學生在學期開始時都簽名:
that sits in the front of my class,
批判性地閱讀、有意識地寫作、
which every student signs at the beginning of the year:
清晰地說話、說實話。
read critically, write consciously,
我對於最後一點想了很多,
speak clearly, tell your truth.
說實話。
And I find myself thinking a lot about that last point,
後來我發現,
tell your truth.
如果我要學生勇敢說出口,
And I realized that
我就要以身作則說實話,
if I was going to ask my students to speak up,
並在自己無法做到時坦白。
I was going to have to tell my truth
所以我告訴他們,
and be honest with them about the times
在紐奧良天主教家庭長大的我,
where I failed to do so.
在大齋期,我總被教導說
So I tell them that growing up,
一個人能做最有意義的事
as a kid in a Catholic family in New Orleans,
就是放棄某一件東西,
during Lent I was always taught
犧牲你平常很享受的一件事
that the most meaningful thing one could do
向上帝證明你理解祂的神聖。
was to give something up,
我齋戒過汽水、麥當勞、薯條、
sacrifice something you typically indulge in
法式接吻以及其他不少事。
to prove to God you understand his sanctity.
但有一年,我放棄說話。
I've given up soda, McDonald's, French fries,
我想我能犧牲的最寶貴的事情
French kisses, and everything in between.
就是我的言語,但其實我沒發現
But one year, I gave up speaking.
我老早就放棄自己的言語了。
I figured the most valuable thing I could sacrifice
我用了生命中太多時間
was my own voice, but it was like I hadn't realized
告訴別人他們想聽的事
that I had given that up a long time ago.
而非當頭棒喝。
I spent so much of my life
告訴自己我無須扮演其他人的良知,
telling people the things they wanted to hear
因為我也不知道自己的良知是什麼,
instead of the things they needed to,
所以有些時候我安靜不說話,
told myself I wasn't meant to be anyone's conscience
以沉默來掩飾我的無知,
because I still had to figure out being my own,
卻沒意識到沉默暗示著默許。
so sometimes I just wouldn't say anything,
當克里斯汀因同性戀傾向被毆打,
appeasing ignorance with my silence,
我將手插口袋,
unaware that validation doesn't need words
低頭走過,視而不見。
to endorse its existence.
連置物櫃的鎖閂都在提醒我,
When Christian was beat up for being gay,
讓我想起我是如何雙唇緊閉地
I put my hands in my pocket
應對轉角的流浪漢。
and walked with my head down as if I didn't even notice.
那仰望的視線不過是
I couldn't use my locker for weeks because the bolt on the lock
想確認自己是否值得被看一眼。
reminded me of the one I had put on my lips
而我只專心滑我手上的蘋果,
when the homeless man on the corner
而沒想過要餵他一顆。
looked at me with eyes up merely searching
當慈善會的女人說
for an affirmation that he was worth seeing.
「我真是替你感到驕傲。
I was more concerned with touching the screen on my Apple
教導窮苦、不聰明的學生很辛苦吧」的時候,
than actually feeding him one.
我緊閉雙唇,因為很顯然我們需要她的錢
When the woman at the fundraising gala
勝過於我的學生需要尊嚴。
said "I'm so proud of you.
我們花這麼多時間
It must be so hard teaching those poor, unintelligent kids,"
傾聽人們說的話,
I bit my lip, because apparently we needed her money
卻鮮少注意他們所沒說的事。
more than my students needed their dignity.
沉默是恐懼的殘渣。
We spend so much time
是感受到自己的缺點
listening to the things people are saying
狠狠地將你的舌頭斬斷;
that we rarely pay attention to the things they don't.
是從胸腔吐出的空氣,
Silence is the residue of fear.
因為在肺裡覺得不安全。
It is feeling your flaws
沉默有如盧安達大屠殺;有如卡崔娜。
gut-wrench guillotine your tongue.
是屍體袋不夠時會聽到的聲音;
It is the air retreating from your chest
是上吊繩綁好時的聲音;
because it doesn't feel safe in your lungs.
是焦炭;是鎖鍊;是特權;是痛楚。
Silence is Rwandan genocide. Silence is Katrina.
沒有時間挑選自己的戰役,
It is what you hear when there aren't enough body bags left.
因為戰役已活生生擺在眼前。
It is the sound after the noose is already tied.
我不會讓優柔寡斷助長沉默,
It is charring. It is chains. It is privilege. It is pain.
我會告訴克里斯汀他是雄獅,
There is no time to pick your battles
是勇敢與輝煌的聖地。
when your battles have already picked you.
我會問那流浪漢的名字,
I will not let silence wrap itself around my indecision.
問他那天過得如何,因為有時候
I will tell Christian that he is a lion,
大家想要的只是被當作人一樣對待。
a sanctuary of bravery and brilliance.
我會告訴那位女士,我的學生可以
I will ask that homeless man what his name is
像梭羅那樣談論超驗主義。
and how his day was, because sometimes
就因為妳看了一集《火線重案組》
all people want to be is human.
不代表妳就了解我的學生。
I will tell that woman that my students can talk about
所以今年
transcendentalism like their last name was Thoreau,
我非但不會放棄某物,
and just because you watched one episode of "The Wire"
我要像舌頭底下 有麥克風一樣地過每一天,
doesn't mean you know anything about my kids.
在我壓抑的腳下有個舞台。
So this year,
誰還需要講台?
instead of giving something up,
你的勇敢發聲就足矣。
I will live every day as if there were a microphone
謝謝。
tucked under my tongue,
(掌聲)
a stage on the underside of my inhibition.
Because who has to have a soapbox
when all you've ever needed is your voice?
Thank you.
(Applause)