Just lying in bed and Simon's like,

"Yeah, there's a lot of snow outside."

And he opens up the window and rolls up a snowball the size of a softball.

And I'm like, "What the heck is going on?"

Well, I'm gonna go take a million artsy photos of cherry blossom trees buried under snow.

Simon: And I'm gonna go build a freaking snowman?!

( Relaxing music ♪ )

( Sound of precipitation )

S: Think it's time for us to make a snowman.

Huh!

Thought it was gonna hit ya.

M: This is such sticky snow.

S: Yeah.

M: It's like...

S: Perfect.

Ho, man.

Are you kidding me? Look at this beautiful snow. (With Oz in voice over the sight of it)

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na ♪ (Joy in voice)

Na na na na na na na naaaaah ♪ (Joy in voice)

They see me rollin', they hatin' ♪

Oh, God! I had so much energy for this as a kid.

Ha~

Yeah, big boy.

Let's go!

Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ♪

Baa baa ♪

Ho~

Aah!

Ha.

Oh!

Old man groans.

Hai jaa! ( more groaning)

Come on!

Ya limey Dodger.

Ah.

Ha.

Huh-Aaah!

F(???)k! Can I turn my Apple watch for this sh(???)t?

Need to register a workout.

Take off my jacket.

I'm getting way too warm.

Huu-Waah!

Is this how Simon gets a hernia?

It's not the name of the video I want this to be.

All right.

Couple more rolls, and I think this bad boy's ready...

Aah!

...to look pretty.

And now, we could add some clean snow on top

to make him look less dirty.

The secret is padding.

Don't rub the snow on because you just blend it in with everything else.

You wanna pat it on top.

Yeah, here you go.

Oh, yeah.

You're not a snowboy, you're snowman.

Yes, you are, Big Boy.

( Upbeat music ♪ )

M: This is a big beautiful cherry blossom tree

that is just covered in heavy, wet snow.

And I know that if I try to cross underneath it

a huge chunk is gonna fall and land on my head.

But I really am aiming

to get to that gorgeous sakura tree over there.

♪

M: All right, I'm taking a different route

because there's kids stuff here which means I should definitely be able to walk around in here.

S: Wee-daa!

You mother--oof!

All right.

I'm gonna need to solidify this in here.

Reinforce some of that.

Oh, man!

Aye aye.

(Aussie accent:) There you go. Look at that, huh.

That's how you say it in Australia, there you go!

And now for the head.

Not too much.

Doesn't need to be super big.

Just trying to make this nice and smooth.

Uh!

Okay.

Oh, yeah--

Aah, f--(???)k!

Uuh...

Ahem.

Uuhh. ( Upbeat music continues ♪ )

Time to make another snowman head.

That last one didn't work out too well, now did it.

Okay, this head should be better.

Okay...

Gentle...

Good.

Now, that's there. Gotta fortified the neck!

I don't know where my wife went.

M: Oh, my god. It's so beautiful.

( birds squeaking in the distance )

♪

M: Hang in there, beautiful tree.

Hang in there, buddy.

This will all be over with soon.

Just, you know, shake it off.

S: Hmm, what else do I need here?

M: Well, gotta make it through this path, again, of slushy doom.

I think I probably have to go back this way again.

I'll bring this over to Simon's snowman that he's making.

I think it'll look pretty pretty.

Oh, we got some--

Woah!

Oh, you can see all the sakura petals.

This sakura tree is very drippy.

M: Hai, konnichiwa.

Ooh, nice snowman.

I found this frozen.

S: Wow!

S: That's beautiful!

Can you put that in her hair?

M: That's what I thought.

S: Yeah, that's a great idea.

Sakura, right there.

M: I didn't pick it! S: I can't tell if this is in focus or not.

M: I didn't pick it.

I've been getting some, just like, tragically beautiful in the woods.

It's just, I don't want people to think that we're taking things off of the trees.

So I'm trying to forge in the woods.

S: Sure!

Get to forgin'.

Uh-huh.

M: But, it's a little scary-looking.

Okay, I'll get the pine cones that I found, then.

S: Okay. Get some pine cones.

M: Okay, come with me. There's pine cones in the bushes.

S: Okay.

M: Okay, so this tree is okay.

That tree's a danger tree, so you got to go in the middle.

S: All right.

M: Come with me~

S: Lead the way!

M: You gotta hurry.

Aah.

S: Ooh! There's lots of pine cones there!

M: See?

S: Get to forgin', girl!

M: And look.

S: This is what you've been trained for in Animal Crossing all these days!

M: Yes! See all these pine cones?

S: Great. Yeah.

M: So you can make pine cone mouth, right?

S: Can you hold one up to the lens?

All right, that cone's his buttons. M: That's for a mouth.

S: This f(?????)ing beautiful tree. Holy sh(?????).

M: I was here the whole time.

S: Wow.

Look at this.

Look at how gorgeous this is.

S: Pop one off and like use it as-- M: I think this is so nice here.

S: Yeah, keeping them up there is really pretty.

M: Okay, so we have choices.

Like, this way.

This way.

It looks like it's actually winking.

S: Oh, yeah a little blinking. M: Yoo hoo hoo~

S: It looks like Anthony Davis' eyebrows.

M: Those are much larger.

M: Ho! / S: Ho!

S: Record of this, no children made the snowman. This is our snowman that we built.

M: Well, I didn't really help out at all.

I was in the bushes being like, "Oh, beautiful nature~" So..

S: I did the heavy work, but you've got the pretty details down.

M: That's very kind of you to say.

I would go ahead and say this is your snowman.

S: Of course I got a carrot!

It's never complete without a carrot.

Let's pop this in!

Oh, sh(???)!

Oh, no.

I broke your face!

Ah.

I should've listened to Martina.

F(???).

Aah...

Uuh...

God damn.

Carrot!

Get in there.

Yep.

That's a carrot nose.

Oh, yeah.

Looking much better with that nose, right there. Ain't you, Carrot Boy?

Hat on ya, huh.

I didn't think about that.

Repping Spudgy.

Hells yeah.

That is a good lookin' snowman, right there!

Quality...

snowman, right there.

Rocking the Eat Your Sushi hat.

Got the nice hands there, you got some eyes.

Yep.

This is... a masterpiece.

M: Uh-huh.

S: What happened?

M: What happened when I was gone?

S: I finished up the snowman.

M: Those are some solidly scary eyes.

S: Very scary, beady eyes!

Oh, yeah!

Huh?

That's a beautiful snowman.

Kids are gonna be very happy to see this and play with it.

I think I might get sued by Disney because I think this might be Olaf.

Could be wrong.

M: Nice job.

S: Thank you.

M: How's your back feel?

S: Actually it feels all right.

M: Yeah?

S: But I don't think I could do any exercising today.

This was very difficult to make.

M: Vigorous.

S: But it was worth it.

M: Looks pretty good.

That hat looks a lot like a hat that, um, is my hat.

So...

S: Quality hat that.

M: It is a quality hat that.

S: Oh, yeah.

Beautiful. What a beautiful fun day this is.

Cherry blossoms in a snowstorm.

M: Very strange.

S: You can see all the cherry blossoms mixed in with the snow.

So wild. I've never seen this before.

M: So this is our little local park. We used to come here with Spudgy.

It's just around the corner from our house and

lots of places in Japan have this kind of thing.

Simon is now pretending to be making a run for it.

S: You know, I'll catch a snowball and throw right back at you.

Don't you dare!

Cut it! Hai yah!

S: Haha! M: Missed me!

S: Gotcha! M: Missed me!

S: Gotcha in your backpack!

Whoa! You almost got shat on by that tree right behind ya!

All the fresh snow on the ground?

That was right for ya!

Oh, that would've been so good!

M: You're getting closer.

Very risky move, Simon.

S: You have one shot, girl.

M: You know that I played baseball.

S: Watch out.

Hu!

Still caught it!

It's only a bit, though.

Hai yah!

S: Direct shot!/ M: Direct shot!

M: Remember me, world!

Remember me as I was.

S: Be careful.

Argh!

Okay, that's it. No more Mr. Nice Guy.

M: Alright, I'm leaving. Bye, everybody!

S: Someone's gonna grab a real proper snowball.

M: Do you wanna build a snowman♪ I gotta go everybody!

S: And whip it at his wife's ass.

And have her running and screaming the whole way home.

This is how big boys play snowball!

M: That's not very nice!

Gah!

Hit my footski!

S: I threw it gently because I love you.

M: Now my foots all wet and I gotta lick it for 20 minutes like a cat.

S: Lick your foot!

S: Almost got dumped on. M: This higher area is like--

S: It's a booby trap. M: Really. We're underneath trees right now.

We're like, "Booby traps!"