I'm pear and I'm spider origin.

We dude, would you watch where you're swinging?

Sorry.

Didn't mean the bug you?

Well I'm glad to see you're excited for today's episode Orange.

Yeah you might say I'm really getting into the swing of things.

I take it this means you did the required reading for today's episode for once.

Yeah, it was too long.

Dude, it's a comic book.

Oh well in that case it had too many pictures.

You didn't even open it.

Did you know need pair?

I pretty much remember it from the first time I didn't read it as a kid.

Yeah so what's the title?

The annoying spider man clothes but also way off.

It's the amazing spider man.

Yeah we'll see about that.

Great.

Once upon a time there was a high school kid named Peter parker.

Now he wasn't exactly the coolest or the biggest kid at school but he was super good at science.

How am I doing so far pair?

This is actually pretty spot on, told you I remembered it.

My mind is a steel scrap.

Uh that's not how it.

One day peter parker went to a science fair but there was no concession stand or anything so we got zip for hungry.

Finally he bit into a radioactive spider.

Come again.

It's been a radioactive spider.

Okay that's what I thought you said.

See that's not exactly because the spider was radioactive Peter parker accrued the powers of the spider eight limbs, eight eyeballs the ability to scare people when the bathroom light comes on.

Yeah, I think we're gonna need to tap the brakes here.

Dude, those aren't the superpowers he got Well sure they are sure false Peter Parker got spider superpowers.

Sure but not those powers.

He got all the cool ones.

I mean it's not like he suddenly started eating flies or something.

That's where you're wrong mom pair.

He did start eating flies by the full, full.

No he didn't.

Why would he do that flies are a disgusting thing to eat pair.

We're talking about a guy who bit a spider.

You really think he's gonna be grossed out by the thought of eating a fly.

Good point.

Oh yeah.

Now if you don't mind I will continue the list of spider powers that Peter Parker accrued.

He grew up thor X, he lost the ability to speak and most importantly he gave the ability to shoot spider webbing out of his but close enough I guess so he went out on the town shooting but webs all over the place, he wasn't great at first but he got into the swing of things soon enough.

Oh but here's the thing just as he gained the powers of a spider, he also gained the downsides of being a spider growing A thorax wasn't already a downside.

Of course not pair.

The thorax is a very important body part plus the ladies love it.

God great, sadly.

Peter parker got the bad spider stuff too like the ability to be easily trapped under a water glass.

This used to be one of my favorite origin stories also he lost the ability to speak, His brain shrunk to the size of a sesame seed and his lifespan reduced to approximately 1 to 2 years.

Dude, this is the worst superhero of all time.

What do you want from me?

The guy could have been a radioactive nobel prize winner or something, but he opted for a dumb old spider actions have consequences pair with great power comes something, something, something.

Listen, can we just get to the part where he fights bad guys please sure thing, there are no shortage of enemies and Peter Parker took them all on that spider man, there was a lizard, I think you mean the lizard?

Right?

Yeah, pretty sure it's just lizard.

Other enemies included chickens, Blueberry trout.

Hold off, these aren't spider man villains, They're just natural predators of the spider.

I know, don't worry pear, I got this blackbird gecko.

Other spiders stop.

Spider man did not swing around the city shooting webbing from his but battling the natural predators of the spider.

Well sure he did just not for very long.

Oh and why is that, are you gonna tell me?

He got defeated by trout now?

Although trump is a fearsome in formidable foe.

Spider man met his match when he got trapped underneath the water lab.

Oh my gosh, a water class.

Come on at least tell me his escape from the water glass was exciting.

Not really.

He never escaped.

He was under there awhile and you know what I was saying earlier about a severely reduced lifespan.

So that's it.

That's the entire story of the amazing spider man, yep.

What may I ask was so amazing about a so called super hero who fought a trout got trapped under a glass and promptly died.

How on earth did he get the title of superhero?

Anyway, you're right, pear.

It defies logic.

I'll say it's incredible.

Exactly one might even say it's amazing.

Oh my gosh, and it's a bird.

It's a plane.

It's story time.

Welcome fruit lovers.

I'm pear and joining me today for this very super episode is lou the tick I told you not to call me by my real name.

I'm pretty sure there's a bug in this room, dude, you are a bug in this room, You're right, quick.

Get rid of me, Get me over the head with this mallet.

Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.

But what I am going to do is tell the story of the greatest superhero of all time.

The tick.

Um no superman.

Gotcha, personally, I feel the tick is the greatest superhero ever, but maybe I'm just biased.

Yeah, you're probably related to him or something.

Right, wow.

Did you really just say that not politics are related pair, jeez Oh sorry.

Yeah, we do happen to be second cousins thrice removed Anyway, let's go on with the story before I get really ticked off.

All right thank I am once upon a time on a far away planet named Krypton.

A baby was born and hold up that baby Superman, you're telling me Superman from another planet.

He's an alien.

Yeah, technically he's an alien.

Whoa okay you have my attention but now you have my curiosity.

Why the heck did you not tell me the story was about aliens?

Let me set up my wallet conspiracy really quick.

I'm gonna be able to help you.

Big time.

Especially with all the stuff that the government doesn't want you to know.

Great.

Anyway Superman's planet was destroyed but his parents managed to save him just in time by sending him to earth when he arrived everyone thought he was super rear because he was green and whose mucus right What now?

Like most aliens, Superman probably had difficulty with the high nitrogen content of the atmosphere.

Care not to mention earth's gravity and temperature levels.

Um Hello, I'd be curious to know with which our candy dialect.

Did he communicate and having Earthlings deal with the fact that Superman has to poop every 7.3 seconds.

Hello?

None of this is in the story.

None of it.

No Superman isn't green.

He looks exactly like a human.

What?

Yeah, he even got adopted by a human family in rural Kansas, they named him clark Kent.

You're kidding me pare this is wrong on every level Kansas, no alien would ever be able to survive in such close proximity.

Took Horn.

That's why they make crop circles.

They're desperate to eradicate cornfield corners.

Like corners like their kryptonite.

Yeah.

Actually Kryptonite is superman's Kryptonite.

You're telling me Kryptonite is an actual thing.

I was like, it was just like a metaphor and also the name of my favorite few doors down song.

Yes, it's a thing.

And Kryptonite weekends.

All of his superhuman abilities like X ray vision, super strength, Impenetrable skin and the ability to fly.

Well, it's nice to know they did at least some research on real aliens.

What about his need to poop three seconds.

House Kryptonite effect that it doesn't dote.

Well I guess that makes sense.

When you gotta squeeze one, you gotta squeeze one.

No, I'm saying that isn't one of superman's abilities.

He poops the same amount as a normal human.

I'm why are you laughing?

I'm sorry.

It's just so ridiculous.

I've never heard a story that got basic facts about aliens this wrong before.

This is the most insane story I've ever heard in my life coming from you lou.

That means a lot.

Anyway, Clark Kent grew up to become a reporter in the bustling city of metropolis where he disguised himself in order to fight crime without being recognized.

How do you disguise himself.

Well when trouble arose, he'd often duck into a phone booth, remove his glasses and emerge in his superman suit.

Wow.

Would you look at that?

It's a bird.

It's a plane.

It's obviously clark Kent.

Huh?

I mean, come on, that's his disguise.

He just took off his glasses and suddenly everyone thought he was a totally different person.

Um Well yeah, that's how the story goes.

This makes no sense.

This story is so crazy.

I don't have room for all my walt conspiracy.

All right.

I'm sorry lou I guess it was a mistake to introduce you to the concept of fiction like this I'll say and you want to know the most insane part of all this.

What's that superman suit?

I mean, how does he use the bathroom and that thing you're telling me he's able to constantly get that thing off and on off and on off and on throughout the day.

Every 7.3 seconds low.

I mean, I get he's superhuman.

There's some feet that are simply too impossible even for the greatest superhero.

Hello Superman doesn't take his suit off every 7.3 seconds.

You mean he just goes inside the suit?

I thought this was for kids bear.

What a gross terrible story.

Please tell me that then.

Sure, that's probably as good of a place to stop as any.

Sorry lou won't happen again.

I should hope not geez.

Louise.

Superman.

More like a pooper man enough.

Low.

Hey.

For lovers and welcome to story time.

I'm orange and I'm cece.

Whoa.

I usually do these with pair.

Well, apparently not today.

What happened did he call in sex?

Yeah.

Sick of you.

Now, what's today's story?

I totally didn't read it.

Wow.

Well I didn't read it either.

That's usually pairs job.

But today we're telling the story of batman.

I don't know that story very well, but I sure, do you know the theme song man?

Okay, here we go.

Let's just bat wing it the best we can.

Okay, so one thing I do know is that batman's real name is Bruce wayne.

Why does he have two first names?

I don't know.

Probably the same reason his superhero name is to mammals.

Anyway, what I don't remember is the name of the city he lives in Gothic city, Gothic bold century Gothic.

Pretty sure those are font.

Gotham City city.

Yeah, that's, it sounds like the kind of place that has a hot topic on every corner.

That's exactly the kind of place it is.

And one day when young brucie muk.

First two names and his Brazilian air parents were leaving one of God's cities numerous hot topic locations.

His parents got murdered.

Whoa, Who killed him.

I don't know.

I'm pretty sure it was that right.

Fat man.

Well that almost makes too much sense.

But hold on.

Why were his parents so rich?

Well, you know how bat poop is like really expensive.

Who doesn't, I'm pretty sure they were trafficking bat poop and then fat mafia put out a hit on him.

Okay, it was kind of making sense before, but now it's making complete sense.

Of course it was a bad hit.

You hit things with the bat.

My mind is below one right now.

My mind just literally mush.