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  • Hey there I'm Emma from mmmEnglish.

  • This video is perfect for high-level English learners

  • who want to improve their conversation skills.

  • I'm going to be sharing the exact phrases and expressions

  • that you need to help you when you get a little stuck

  • in English conversations like when you feel a little nervous

  • and those times when the conversation is a bit difficult to follow,

  • when someone misunderstands you or when someone

  • asks you a question or is talking about a topic that you want

  • to avoid.

  • So get your pen and your notebook ready. There are plenty

  • of useful phrases for you to write down,

  • to help you speak confidently in English conversations.

  • Plus I've also made you a free workbook that goes

  • with this lesson, you can download it. The link is right down

  • there in the description.

  • Go grab it now and then let's get into the lesson!

  • Hey Lady! is an online community where women from

  • around the world meet to practise speaking English together.

  • It's the easiest way to find English-speaking friends and to get

  • regular practice, the practice that you need to speak English

  • confidently and fluently. Hey Lady! is a safe and supportive space

  • for women with an intermediate to advanced level of English.

  • Come and visit us at heylady.io and discover

  • the English-speaking version of you today.

  • Let's all agree that speaking in front of people or meeting a group

  • of people for the first time

  • can make you feel a little nervouscan't it?

  • Sometimes it's hard enough to think of just the words to say,

  • let alone the expressions that you need to get yourself

  • out of trouble. Have you ever been in a situation like this?

  • Where you've just felt frozen?

  • Well memorising

  • some of the expressions from this lesson today

  • will definitely help and my first piece of advice is to just be honest.

  • Say:

  • I'm a little nervous.

  • You can say it with a little grin to make a joke out of it

  • or you can say it sincerely just to let the people know

  • who you're talking to that

  • maybe you need a little bit of extra support.

  • There is nothing wrong with that at all, it happens

  • much more often than you think. It's not just you, it's all of us.

  • Bear with me.

  • If you're speaking in front of a group of people and maybe you're

  • feeling a little anxious about it,

  • you can definitely use this phrase to ask people to be patient

  • with you just to buy yourself a little bit more time.

  • And another similar expression is:

  • Give memoment.

  • Let me try that again.

  • It's a really great one if you need to stop and to think about

  • your sentence for a minute and maybe rephrase it,

  • maybe your sentence came out a little wrong or

  • you just realised you're speaking so fast

  • you need to take a breath,

  • say this phrase, smile and try it again.

  • I'm not sure about that actually

  • but I can find out.

  • It can be really nerve-wracking when someone asks you a question

  • that you don't know the answer to especially if it's in a

  • professional context. You might just

  • freeze and have no idea what to say

  • but there is an easy solution and that's this phrase right here.

  • It's on the tip of my tongue.

  • This is a great phrase for when you actually do know something

  • but you just can't remember it right in that moment.

  • I had something I wanted to say but I've lost it,

  • Hopefully it'll come back.

  • Have you ever been in a meeting or a conversation

  • where you're listening to other people and then when it's

  • your turn to speak, your mind goes completely blank?

  • You've forgotten what you were going to contribute.

  • It happens to me more than I care to admit

  • and it can be really frustrating.

  • It can feel embarrassing if you're being harsh to yourself

  • but you can play it cool with this phrase right here.

  • Do you mind if I jump in?

  • Maybe the idea of interrupting someone when you've got

  • something to say also makes you feel a little nervous or a little

  • awkward so a very cool casual way of doing this

  • and very often used in professional context as well

  • is to use the verb jump in.

  • What if you're asking a question and you're not sure

  • if it's appropriate or acceptable to ask that question?

  • This can sometimes happen when you're talking to someone

  • from a different culture.

  • Is it okay to talk about marriage? Is it okay to ask their age?

  • Sometimes it can be a little tricky to know.

  • In English you can preface this question withphrase that helps

  • to soften it.

  • I hope you don't mind me asking but...

  • then insert the question.

  • hope you don't mind me asking but how old are you?

  • Oh gosh what about when you forget something that you know

  • you shouldn't have forgotten?

  • My apologies, I've completely forgotten your name.

  • I'm so sorry I've completely forgotten what we were talking about.

  • All right so this is a different type of nervous energy.

  • I hate this feeling, it's that feeling of seeing someone walk

  • towards you and realising that you can't remember their name.

  • You've met them so many times before.

  • What is it?

  • It's much better although a little awkward, it's much better

  • to ask them sooner rather than later

  • and just get it out of the way particularly so you can say it,

  • repeat it a few times and try to remember it.

  • Makes it easier to remember next time.

  • Apparently it's

  • three times, when you find out what their name is,

  • three times you need to say their name

  • in order to remember it next time.

  • Hi Johnnice to see you again! Lovely to have you.

  • John! Tell me about your kids.

  • Well John it was really lovely to see you. All right, bye now!

  • So what about when the conversation is just kind of hard

  • for some reason. Maybe it's hard to keep up or

  • hard to follow what's happening.

  • Or if you're in a conversation with

  • a bunch of native English speakers or advanced English users

  • then they might be speaking really quickly and those words that

  • you can't fully hear or words you don't recognise

  • and you just feel like

  • you're in over your head.

  • So in these situationsyou can politely and confidently say

  • that you don't understand what they've said.

  • I have to admit this is a little beyond me.

  • With this expression, you're really putting an end to the discussion.

  • You're not asking for them to clarify,

  • you're saying it's too much, this conversation, for me.

  • I can't follow along. Let's end it, okay?

  • Which sounds kind of serious so that's the extreme.

  • Let's end the conversation. But come back from there

  • and we can say:

  • Sorry, I'm afraid, I don't follow you.

  • With "I don't follow you" you're suggesting that you need them

  • to re-explain or to explain it in a different way.

  • Could you please say that a little slower?

  • I'm not entirely sure what you mean,

  • could you explain it again?

  • Sorry! That went straight over my head.

  • Could you explain it indifferent way?

  • If someone asks for your opinion about a topic

  • and you don't actually feel able to talk about it in English

  • then you could say

  • It's interesting listening to you talk, but to be honest

  • I don't know much about this topic.

  • Wow I've never really thought about this much before but

  • I'm enjoying listening to you talk about it.

  • I'm not well-versed on this topic so I'd rather hold off on saying

  • anything until I know a bit more.

  • I don't know enough about this topic to fully contribute

  • to this discussion.

  • It's pretty hard to express my ideas about this topic in English but

  • I'll try my best.

  • I love this one, make sure you write it down.

  • You're being really honest but you're also taking a deep breath

  • and going for it, you're taking the opportunity to participate

  • even though you're doubting yourself.

  • Let's have a look at some phrases for when there's been

  • a misunderstanding

  • and these are really useful to help provide clarity,

  • those times when you need to re-explain something

  • or say it in a different way to clear up confusion.

  • Oh I think you may have misunderstood what I said.

  • Easy.

  • I didn't mean to say that. What I meant was...

  • and then explain it in a different way.

  • I'm sorry for the confusion. What I actually meant was...

  • I'm so sorry, my message must have got lost in translation.

  • Let me explain again.

  • I think we've got our wires crossed.

  • There were a couple of really great idioms there.

  • Did you catch them?

  • Really good ones for helping to clear up misunderstandings.

  • Now misunderstandings are generally pretty harmless

  • but what if you've unintentionally upset someone?

  • Don't worry, this happens more often than you think

  • but apologising as soon as you realise and then clarifying

  • what you actually meant will usually help.

  • And on the plus side, I've got some really useful phrases

  • that you can use when you want to apologise

  • and explain a misunderstanding.

  • You seem upset. Did I say something wrong?

  • That definitely didn't come out right. I'm so sorry.

  • I can completely understand why you're hurt and I'm

  • deeply sorry for what I said.

  • I'm sorry for hurting your feelings.

  • I didn't intend it to come across that way.

  • I'm sorry, that was insensitive.

  • I appreciate you calling me out on what I said.

  • All right let's talk about some phrases for

  • sensitive issues or sensitive topics because people and

  • different cultures have different social rules or beliefs about

  • what is considered okay to talk about and what isn't.

  • Maybe you have a colleague who

  • says things that are really inappropriate

  • or maybe you just feel uncomfortable talking about a particular topic.

  • Whether someone realises they're being inappropriate or not

  • doesn't really matter. You absolutely have the right to let them

  • know about it if you think they're being inappropriate

  • but having the right language,

  • the exact phrases to help you do this is essential

  • and that's what we're going to talk about now.

  • I'd rather not talk about this if that's okay.

  • This is straight to the point but it's still polite and it's a really good

  • phrase to have up your sleeve when someone asks you a question

  • that you don't really want to answer

  • and it's got that really nice English politeness to it too.

  • Is it okay with you? If it's okay with you.

  • Can you stop being an idiot, please?

  • You'll notice that these polite little starts or endings to a sentence

  • or a question are used quite a lot throughout this section.

  • It can sound a little rude or confronting to be really direct here

  • so we use them just to help soften the request

  • and make sure everyone feels comfortable in the conversation.

  • To be honest, I don't feel like talking about this right now.

  • This topic hits close to home, it's tough for me to talk about.

  • So the next few phrases are more direct, they're quite blunt

  • so I'd only recommend using them if the person that you're talking

  • to is being really persistent in their behaviour.

  • I haven't had to use these phrases much and I hope that you don't

  • have to either but there are times when I've wished that I've had

  • these really strong words come to mind in that moment

  • and that I'd had the courage to use them.

  • So I'm hoping that by sharing them with you today,

  • they'll come easier to you when you're in need of them.

  • A recent example of this for me is I had a conversation with a

  • potential investor in my business and

  • he was asking me if I was planning to have children because

  • that would impact his interest in investing in my company.

  • I was so shocked in that moment, I just answered him but

  • I wish that I had have said:

  • I don't mean to sound rude but that isn't any of your business.

  • That's a really personal question.

  • I'm not comfortable answering that.

  • I think you're overstepping boundaries with that question.

  • I'd rather not answer that.

  • If you want to end the conversation completelyyou're just not

  • interested in talking about this then you could say:

  • I didn't come here today to argue about our different beliefs.

  • If you're not willing to change the topic, I'll leave.

  • Now I wanted to include a little section for the ladies out there

  • because let's be honest it's mostly women who find themselves

  • in a situation where they're being spoken to inappropriately

  • in a sexual way.

  • Let's just get completely comfortable telling someone

  • that it's not okay.

  • So for example, if you have a boss or a colleague

  • and they place their hand on your leg during a meeting,

  • you look them straight in the eye

  • and you say:

  • Please take your hand off my leg.

  • If you don't feel comfortable in that moment,

  • then find them afterwards and say:

  • I'm only going to tell you this once; keep your hands to yourself.

  • Nobody touches my body without my permission.

  • I don't appreciate being taken advantage of or made to feel

  • uncomfortable in front of my colleagues.

  • Please don't do that again.

  • Practise using the facial expression that I was just sharing

  • there because honestly,

  • it needs that direct and serious eye contact.

  • I have had way too many female students of mine go through

  • situations like this and honestly if you have a situation

  • that you don't understand because of cultural or language barriers

  • please reach out to me and ask. Don't feel awkward

  • or uncomfortable in a professional context, in a dating context,

  • just because you don't understand or because

  • you're not sure what to say.

  • Reach out to me and talk about it.

  • Lastly we've got politics, religion, sexuality, vaccinations,

  • family planning, these are all controversial topics

  • because people can have such vastly different

  • polarising opinions and some people feel the need to push their

  • own opinions and beliefs onto you.

  • Come on, we all have a friend or a family member

  • who's like this right?

  • If you don't want to share your opinion about a topic, that's okay.

  • And I've got some phrases for you that you can use to politely

  • and confidently explain this.

  • I'd rather not express my opinion on this issue.

  • To be honest, this conversation is making me

  • really uncomfortable.

  • You can make it super clear that you want to move on

  • in the conversation too.

  • This isn't the time or the place to get into this discussion.

  • Let's talk about something else please.

  • We need to agree to disagree and move on.

  • I understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinion

  • which is why I prefer to steer clear of these topics.

  • I fundamentally disagree with you about this.

  • If you're feeling up to it you can try to understand more about

  • their opinion by saying:

  • It's clear we fundamentally disagree about this,

  • but I'm curious to learn more about your views.

  • Why are you so passionate about this?

  • Things got a little heated there towards the end right?

  • Anyone feeling a little hot under the collar?

  • And just like that, you've learned a heck of a lot of phrases

  • that you can use in different tricky situations and don't forget

  • that I've created that really handy little workbook with all of the

  • phrases from this lesson including some pronunciation tips.

  • You can download it in the description box below.

  • The link is just down under the video

  • and make sure you're following along mmmEnglish on our

  • social channels as well if you want to reach out and say "Hi"

  • Do that in the comments, come and say hi on Instagram

  • or Facebook. I'd love to see you answer your questions.

  • If you've got any lesson requests, let me know

  • and for now, I'm gonna share this video with you right here

  • because I think you're gonna love it.

  • See you in there!

Hey there I'm Emma from mmmEnglish.

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