Name: 如何在不被人影响的情况下变得友善（How To Be Nice Without Being A Pushover）
Uploaded: 2022-05-02T20:46:57.000Z
Duration: 11 min 51 s
Description: 与人聊天的技巧

James Corden has the fastest growing late night channel on Youtube.

情態副詞

Thanks mostly to the massive success he had

and while it's certainly fun to watch your favorite singers

a big contributor to the success of those videos

is the dynamic that James is able to create in such a short time.

He's able to get people to open up and really enjoy themselves

and if you watch closely, there's a moment where the stars

were previously bored or sceptical seemed to really begin to like James.

I appreciate the character that you come with.

You're such a kind individual — you love people.

It's probably true that James Corden does love people

and his magnetism comes from the fact, certainly,

that he's able to make people feel good without losing the respect.

That's what we're going to learn how to do in this video

so let's start with one of the simplest ways to make someone feel good —

We often compliment people at the beginning of an interaction

saying something like, "It's great to see you" or "you look great."

but watch how James takes those to the next level

Seriously, I'm loving the hair — it's a triumph.

Everytime I've met you, you seem like you're in a great manage.

It's the most incredible audience I've ever seen.

By trying to compliment to a specific attribute,

James makes it feel like more than just a polite formality.

And while you might brush off it's-nice-to-see-you,

if someone were to say to you, "You're always in such a great mood,"

it would probably make you feel really good

and want to spend more time with that person.

So the lesson here is that the more specific you can make your compliments,

the more genuine they feel and the greater impact they will have

and that's because in order to be specific,

you can't just have a stock compliment that you use with everyone —

you need to notice something special about the individual.

And the more that you can attune yourself to the things

that you appreciate in others, the easier this will become

because at that point, it's just about voicing what you've seen.

for connecting with people, if you overload on them,

it can begin to feel a bit like you're kissing butt —

that makes people lose respect for you and the good news is

that there's a simple way to make compliments not feel like butt-kissing —

it's the push-pull compliment or, in our case, the pull-push compliment.

I swear to you, and this is what I've been saying this whole carpet,

I was like, "If the only person I want to win

is this man right here more than anything —

more than anything, truly, because if he wins, it gives us hope."

Push-pull, pull-push — whatever you want to call it,

it's something that we've discussed in the video on flirting

which you can check out now in the description or by clicking on the screen here.

The main idea is that even though it feels nice to be complimented,

so an excellent way to defuse that tension

is by following the compliment up with a joke

that lets some of the air out of the compliment

and allows people to relax back into laughter.

Watch as Emily Blunt starts to feel a little bit embarrassed

while James pours on his specific and genuine compliments.

I've been telling people for a very, very long time

that I think Emily Blunt is one of the best

actresses in the world — I've been saying it for a long time.

Genuinely, I've been saying, "You got no idea."

You know, like, if you go back and watch that My Summer of Love

and things like this, they have phenomenal performances

and the the most thrilling thing watching this film is you go,

"Ah, there it is," and now everyone's going to say it...

So at this point, Emily is thoroughly embarrassed by the lavish praise.

You saw her making the kill-me sign at the beginning.

Even though that kind of praise must make her feel proud,

she simultaneously feels like she needs to reject the compliments

because they're beginning to feel like a bit too much.

So here's when James releases the tension with a joke.

Like I said, we have more examples of push-pull in a flirting context in the description link

but for now I want to move on to another way of being both complimentary and funny

which is basically by complementing someone in such an over-the-top manner

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如何在不被人影响的情况下变得友善（How To Be Nice Without Being A Pushover）

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