[yawning]

Hmm? What is this place?

Squidward? Did you do all this?

Well, I figured if I have to stay here,

I might as well make it livable. Lard cake?

If you make me lard cakes every morning, Squidy,

you can do anything you want.

Are you better, Pat? Uh, what ya doing?

Just studying this amazing subspecies.

I'll show you subspecies!

Wanna visit Squidward?

Well, since I am finished with my work, I'll humor you

in your trivial pursuits.

Hey, SpongeBob!

Yes, sire?

I need your opinion on something.

Do you think the giant flat screen TV should go

over the fancy egg display or the indoor swimming pool?

Welcome to Star Rock Inn, sir, my name is Todd.

Can I check you in?

I don't know. Can you?

Uh, yes. Star, Star. Patrick Star, room 801.

Your key, sir.

And please don't hesitate to let us know

if there's anything we can do to make your stay

more comfortable. [dinging]

May I take your bags, Mr. Star?

I don't have any ba- Uh.

Follow me, sir. Your room is right this way.

Your room, sir.

Oh, dear.

Something wrong, Mr. Star?

Well, um, honestly,

uh, I-I'm not sure I like the way this room is arranged.

Arranged?

One hour later.

Mr. Star, are you sure about this?

No, I... maybe it's the walls.

One more book, then you go to sleep, 'kay?

'Kay.

This one is called You Can Be Anything .

I can be anything?

Well, you sure can, pal. Take a look.

You can be... a firefighter.

You can be a doctor.

[groaning]

You can be a cowboy.

That's what I wanna be!

Cowboy, great choice.

No, no, no, no. That.

A horse? Buddy, I don't think you wanna be a horse.

You said I can be anything and- and I wanna be a horse!

Sure. Sure. You can be a horse.

Nighty night, Patrick

Culture lovers, welcome to the Classy Kiosk.

I am Squid-tacular and this is my protege,

Patrick Ponage.

He taught me everything I blow.

And now, get ready to...

Feel the arts!

[humming]

Yes. [humming]

[booing]

[babbling]

[cheering]

What?!

A doughnut this nice deserves to be served on fine china.

A good plate.

Don't worry, doughnut, no longer will you suffer

the indignity of subpar dining ware.

[humming]

Going up?

I'm going to a party, a party to celebrate

my friend's upcoming 400th commercial,

Uh-huh.

I brought ice cream.

Me and my best friend are going to share the ice cream.

Who knows, maybe we'll even get a chance to share pants.

[laughing] Again.

Hmm? You should get out. Now.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me.

Oh, Patrick. Did you order something through the mail?

'Cause a yellow box just arrived for you.

- SpongeBob. - Hey, Patrick.

The pool is one of the Star Rock Inn's

most relaxing features.

Oh, a pool!

[chuckles] Oh. Where's the diving board?

The diving board?

Ooh, uh, one diving board coming up.

[panting]

Your diving board, sir.

All right!

[laughing]

You okay, sir?

My head is swimming just fine. Thank you.

There. Now that we've turned your rock into a tanning bed,

we're sure to get tan enough for the party.

Let's just test it out first to be sure.

Ooh.

[dinging]

Hooray!

[laughing]

Me first. Me first.

[dinging]

[sizzling]

Ooh, Patrick, how do you feel?

Like one of those hip, young old folks

from a soda commercial.

It's radical.

Radical.

Drink it.

Ow! Ow! Hot! Hot! Ow!

[sighing]

Get out of the way, Patrick, I gotta go.

[groaning]

[gasping] The attic.

[groaning]

Wait. I don't have an attic.

[screaming]

[laughing]

[laughing]

Giddy-up. [laughing]

Yah!

[clearing throat]

Weren't you going to put your vacation slides

in the projector, Patrick?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[sizzling]

Patrick, those are hash browns.

Hash browns!

Uh, Patrick, the slides?

Right. The slides.

Viola. Uh. Now what?

Now, you put the slides in the projector.

Ah, I knew that.

Put the slides in the project... or.

Don't worry, SpongeBob. I've got something even better.

[clearing throat] Okay, here we go.

- There I was. - Ooh, a shadow puppet show!

Please, no interruptions.

Need... furniture!

[groaning]

[groaning, grunting]

Patrick, what's with the home improvement?

[barking]