for people with penises."

Varuna Srinivasan: We made a COVID vaccine

in less than a year.

Shuavarnnasri: Yes!

Srinivasan: You are telling me we cannot get

birth control for people with penises?

My name is Jayda Shuavarnnasri.

I use she/they pronouns.

I'm a sexuality and relationships educator.

Hi, my name is Varuna.

I use she/they pronouns,

I am a physician by training,

a public health researcher,

and I am interested in the intersections

between mental health and sexuality

in South Asian cultures.

Shuavarnnasri: And today we are busting myths

around sex and sexuality.

These are myths from pop culture.

Srinivasan: "A 'broken' hymen means

a person has had sex before."

No! Absolutely not.

Yes, some women do have a hymen and some women don't,

but I don't think that we have scientifically proven

that a broken hymen is the test of virginity.

Also, why is it that only people

with vaginas and hymens have this test?

What about people with penises?

I also want to call out rapper TI.

Men like him go to the gynecologist and say,

"I need you to examine my daughter's hymen

once a year to make sure it's intact."

This is something that gets me really aggravated.

This one definitely contributes to physical violence

against folks with vaginas.

It's less common for people to have an intact hymen.

And, you know, folks who do have a fully intact hymen,

that isn't helpful for themselves either

when it comes to, you know,

if they're going to start their period,

the blood doesn't have anywhere to flow.

And so there are surgeries

that folks would have to undergo

in order for the hymen to actually not be intact.

But the way I see it that like, you know,

you have this vaginal canal, right?

Let's say this is like the whole of the vagina.

And this would be like a slightly intact hymen.

In most cases,

this is really what it would look like,

where it's still an opening, right?

But this would be like loose skin.

Srinivasan: To me, honestly, it feels like

a vestigial organ. It's the appendix of the vagina,

I like to call it.

[Shuavarnnasri laughs]

You don't really need it, but it's there.

Shuavarnnasri: "Abstaining from sex

makes you better at sports."

I'm assuming that, again, sex-negative culture,

we don't want people to have sex, and so it's like,

"Well, if you really want to be good at basketball,

you'd better not have sex at all,

because you want to reserve all your energy.

Show that on the court."

But there's no, as far as I know,

any study that shows abstaining from sex

is going to make you better at sports.

Srinivasan: Yeah, I haven't read any study either.

But actually, fun fact,

in the Rio Olympics in 2016,

more than 450,000 condoms were distributed.

Shuavarnnasri: I remember that.

Srinivasan: So athletes are having a lot of sex.

But I think if you're responsible

and you are having sex responsibly in a consensual manner,

I think why not?

Have fun.

Have fun with sex and then go play your game.

"Your wallet is a great place for a condom." [laughs]

Winston: Hey, you got a condom on you?

I know you have a condom in your wallet.

Srinivasan: I think that we've seen this, right?

Where they're like,

"Oh, I have a condom in my wallet from 15 years ago."

Honey, don't use that.

[laughs]

More importantly, condoms expire in, like, five years.

So check the expiry date.

Never store it next to a sharp object,

never store it in a really humid place,

and never store in a really, I think it's a tight place.

Yeah, your wallet.

And if you're going out for a booty call,

you know, you get that call and you finally,

it's your moment to shine,

just grab a couple of condoms,

put them in your pocket.

Shuavarnnasri: "Sex burns a lot of calories."

You know, depending on the kind of sex that you're having,

it can certainly burn calories.

I don't think it's the equivalent of, you know,

running a marathon, by any means.

It's not as excessive of amount,

the way maybe people think

of having, like, a full 30-minute exercise,

because your heart rate is not elevated

to that degree the entire time.

Srinivasan: Yeah, totally agree with you, Jayda.

I think that there was a recent Time article

that came out that said that

you don't burn more than 100 calories

in a single session of sex.

But for the most part,

do not think that this is your workout.

It is a workout,

it gets your heart rate pumping,

but we would definitely recommend still going to the gym

and maintaining an active lifestyle.

These are myths we hear the most.

Shuavarnnasri: "There are only two sexes found in nature."

That is not true.

I think a lot of times of flowers,

flowers that actually have both sexes,

quote, unquote, "sexes,"

within the flower in itself.

We have labeled them as "male" and "female."

We have to remember that that's a classification

that was invented by humans.

Srinivasan: And I also think that this is one

of those dangerous myths that's out there,

especially for intersex persons,

because doctors who function

in this idea that there's only two sexes

do this irreversible corrective surgery

to decide if an intersex person is

quote, unquote, "male" or quote, unquote, "female"

for the rest of their life.

And that can actually lead

to a lot of psychological problems.

If someone is born intersex,

then they should be given the choice

to decide how they want to live their life.

What their sexuality is,

what sex they identify as,

what gender they identify as.

We definitely need to change this whole ideology.

Shuavarnnasri: A lot of people who still believe

that there are only two sexes in society

will go towards science as their claim, right?

And science as their backup.

And this is the part where we have to remember

that science is also problematic sometimes.

Yeah, this one's a tough one,

'cause it's like, it's not just changing the culture,

it's literally changing the entire system

that taught us this culture.

Srinivasan: "You can get an STI from a toilet seat."

[laughs]

Medically and technically and scientifically speaking,

the bacteria that does cause

syphilis and other STIs

can only live in those

warm mucous membranes within your body.

Suppose we took that bacteria and we, you know,

put it on a toilet seat.

It wouldn't live there for more than a couple of hours.

It would die out.

So it's impossible for someone to go and sit on it

and then get that infection.

And you also cannot get pregnant

from sitting on a toilet seat, either.

The word "STI," sexually transmitted infection,

and so it's sexually transmitted between bodies.

"Only older people should need lube."

[laughs] Oh, God.

Now we get into the ageist myths.

I just wanna be like, "No, it's not true."

Everyone can benefit from using lube.

It's honestly, I think, the most underrated sex accessory.

If you don't purchase anything else,

please purchase lube.

This is for people of all ages.

So, a lot of people with uteruses

who go through menopause,

when you have decreased estrogen,

it reduces the vaginal lubrication.

And our body does have natural vaginal lubricants.

So having sex during that time can be painful.

It can be hard and can be uncomfortable, really.

And don't use Vaseline.

So, you don't want to put lotions,

which is meant to be on your skin, your external skin.

The vagina has a mucous membrane.

It's completely different from the skin on your body.

Water-based is gonna probably be

the safest bet for your own body,

and depending on if you decide to use toys,

it's usually not recommended to use silicone lube

with silicone toys.

Plastic can react to plastic.

Yeah, it's also definitely not recommended

to use oil-based lubes with condoms,

'cause you can't risk breaking.

Shuavarnnasri: "Sex equals penetration."

Oh, gosh!

People get to have their own definitions of sex.

I think a lot of times we think that sex equals penetration

because you're using a vagina and a penis.

But obviously that is very heteronormative

and doesn't apply to every single partnered relationship.

And just because it's not a vagina and a penis,

having sex doesn't mean it's not sex.

We actually use our entire bodies during sex,

and so when we equate sex

to only these two pieces of our bodies,

it's not accurate.

Srinivasan: My God, you nailed it on the head.

What we really say when we mean sex is not,

that it's just penetration,

like you said, penis and vagina,

but it's really just an experience

that helps you get in touch with your sexuality,

that helps you form a deeper connection

with the other person.

"If you get an STI, you can't get it again."

You can totally get the same STI a second time,

even after you have been, you know, cured from it,

and not all STIs are curable.

Srinivasan: Put it out there that even HIV,

there is such a thing as reinfections,

and superinfections is when you get

a different strain of the same virus

superimposed on the illness that you have

from the first strain of the virus.

That can, depending on your body physiology,

your WBC count, can lead you to get a higher infection

or a different type of infection.

Please go get tested.

We want to destigmatize it,

but we also want to encourage disclosure.

But it's important for people to know

if you have an STI,

it's like even letting people know

that you are on birth control

or are not on birth control.

Giving people the information,

so that when they do consent, it is fully informed.

Srinivasan: "There is no treatment for HIV."

OK, let's talk about this.

I think that this is a genuine myth that many people --

I think it's a question that many people have.

There is no ultimate cure for HIV,

but there does exist an antiretroviral therapy

that as soon as you are diagnosed with HIV,

you can go on those medications,

and they are supposed to help you lead a longer

and a healthier life.

And there is also PrEP,