Uncle Roger make egg fried rice

I make ramen

So today Uncle Roger gonna make my own Thai green curry

At one of my favorite Thai restaurant in London: Esarn kheaw

This the owner of the restaurant

Nephew Thames, how you doing?

I'm very good today, Uncle Roger

Let's see how you fair doing your Thai green to mine

Haiya, of course it's gonna be as good

If not better than your restaurant Curry

All is in the taste

Nephew Thames and I actually so much in common

We both love food

And both our wife leave us

Haiya

But at least I got custody

Uncle Roger trade wife for food

because I never catch my food in bed with another man

Haiyaa

First step: toast your spice

Fuiyoh! Nephew Thames, you have fire!

This must be only restaurant in London with no induction stove

Yep no induction stove

But also the fan don't work

Health and safety no matter here

Haiyaa, who need fan?

Your restaurant still here after 30 years, not burning down

Maybe this will be the last week

Aiya

White peppercorn

Coriander seed

And cumin seed

Toast them all till fragrant

Hmm, you smell that, Nephew Thames?

I smell nothing, I recently got COVID

No smell no taste

You got COVID and you still run restaurant?

Ah...

Uncle Roger like

Don't be pussy, just get COVID

Get it over with

So Uncle Roger, we've been open for 30 years since 1992

Family-run restaurant, authentic Thai food

Nothing has changed in the menu

Hopefully we will come into West London and have a try

Haiya, thirty years never change?

Nephew Thames, you have to evolve with the time

See Uncle Roger 50 year old, I learn how to do YouTube

I learn how to use Tinder

Okay well I don't want to be Blockbuster I want to be Netflix

Get your pestle and mortar

There are no foreplay when it comes to Thai green curry

You go straight to pounding

Pour your freshly toasted spice in

And start pounding

Sometimes the ingredient jump up, you put your hand here to prevent spilling

Very good

See Nephew Nick? This is how you pound

Not your weak ass stirring motion haiya

Uncle Roger need to show auntie Esther how good I am at pounding

Hey pestle, be careful

Haiyaa, don't pound so hard

This professional pestle and mortar, it won't break

That's not professional pestle and mortar

This professional pestle and mortar

Haiya

When done pounding

Pour the spice out

Fuiyoh, see how fine it is?

Are you good at pounding?

I love pounding

Where you learn your pounding?

In the 70s

Oh, so from magazine?

Sometimes

Uncle Roger making one portion of Thai green curry

And I using 8 green chilli

Six bird eye chilli and two long chilli

Chop up your chilli

And remember always eat your chilli seed

Next, shallots

Don't use onion

Remember, onion for poor people

Garlic

Not just for the French

Correct

And of course Galangal

Another species of ginger

No it's not ginger

No?

Galangal and ginger completely different, nephew Thames

Try it, try it

Yeah no, we won't do that again

The difference is galangal taste disgusting when it raw

Add your galangal

Kaffir lime leaf

Lemongrass

And coriander root

Remember you want coriander root, not coriander stem like Jamie Oliver

Haiya

Uncle Roger fifty-year-old now

But my pounding still good

Pound to your heart's content

Can last for longtime

Love you long time

Love you all day, love you everyday

That what you people say

We love to say it

Feminism haven't made its way to Thailand yet

That why Uncle Roger like that country

That why so many British people have Thai wife

Oh my God, so much pounding

Because British women frigid

Uncle Roger love pounding in kitchen

I love pounding while hearing other diner eating

As you pound slowly, add back your ground spices

Because it add friction to your pounding

It feel good, it feel better

It like wearing a ribbed condom, add friction

Add some salt

If you pounding properly, the whole room should be shaking

When you almost done pounding

Add the most important ingredient, the stinkiest thing

Shrimp paste

Fuiyoh

Hmm, smell so good

The most important thing and the most potent

This is how you scared off white people

If you have white people neighbour you don't like

Just leave this at your door

Scared their whole family away

You ever watch horror movie?

White people not scared of ghost

But they scared shrimp paste

White people see ghost in house

They know it haunted house, they still move there to live

But if they know the house got shrimp paste, they fuck off

Haiya

And of course for shrimp paste

Use the right amount, not the white amount

Carry on pounding

And while you're pounding

You can use this to reflect on your sad life

Why do the people you love always leave you?

This is Uncle Roger therapy

You go see therapist, they rip you off

All you need is pounding

Half an hour later, Uncle Roger finally finished pounding

It taste good

Now we start cooking

My Youtooz figurine go live today, fuiyoh!

Uncle Roger so proud of this

So go buy one to show support

We ship worldwide, and it limited edition

So once this sell out, no more this design

So finish watching this green curry video

And then click link in description to buy

Usually first step of cooking Thai green curry

Is to cook the coconut milk and wait for the milk to separate from the oil

But nephew Thames, you use this can coconut milk haiya

The oil not gonna separated, it too many chemical in there

Where your fresh coconut milk?

Where your fresh coconut milk?

We don't have any fresh coconut trees here

We can't get fresh coconut milk

Haiya

So because the oil wouldn't split, we need to cheat a little bit

By adding a bit of oil

Now coconut milk go in

Let it cook a little bit

Very good, Uncle Roger

Thank you, thank you

Now your beautiful green curry paste go in

Now add your chicken

Uncle Roger using chicken thigh

Always add meat to your Thai green curry

because this not for vegan people

Uncle Roger always use chicken thigh for my Thai green curry

Chicken breast drier than my ex-wife

Who want to eat?

Now, add fish sauce

Just use feeling

You want some vegetable?

Vegetable?

What kind of vegetable you have?

For you

Haiya mangetout

Why you giving me mangetout, nephew Thames?

This some Jamie Oliver bullshit

But Thai eggplant, this is correct ingredient

Pre-soak them in water so they get softer before you cook

Next, you add Thai basil

Some chilli for colour

Bamboo shoot and kaffir lime leaf

No, too many bamboo shoot

Uncle Roger don't like too many bamboo shoot

Don't fuck with Uncle Roger cooking

Okay

Uncle Roger at work, haiya

If your curry too dry like this

Feel free to add some chicken stock

Because chicken stock is like lubricant for Thai green curry

Make sure it chicken stock, not water, it taste better

Now palm sugar

Remember don't use white sugar

White sugar for poor people

But Nephew Thames, why your palm sugar look like rock?

It not fresh

It still taste good, but it not fresh

We're in England

Haiya

Same concept as coconut

I think you go back to your own country

Haiya?

Because you can make better food there, not because I racist

Haiya, give me that, Uncle Roger

When you're almost done, make sure you taste it

And here a good trick of how to taste

Take a small drop on your spatula

Then dipped it with your finger

It's good?

Try it, try it

Fuiyoh

I think bit more fish sauce, a bit more

Yeah

Always taste when you cook

But Uncle Roger feel I still missing some important thing

What could it be? Nephew Thames?

The magic white powder

MSG fuiyoh!

Why you put this on there? Just open the whole thing

You don't need this shaker bullshit

Just go

Use feeling

Use feeling

You very feeling, enough feeling, so much feeling

No such thing as too much MSG

If any MSG brand want to sponsor Uncle Roger, hit me up

Taste it a bit more

Oh

Tastes like magic now, I think we ready

Yeah?

Turn off heat

And now it ready to serve

Okay look, look how nice my Thai green curry is

Look at the beautiful green oil on top

It's all in the taste

Let's try

Get some rice first

Thank you so much, Uncle Roger

Of course, no worry Nephew Thames

Let's see how your green curry has turn out to be

Just trying to help your Thai restaurant

Don't want it to close down

Thank you, thank you

Look at this

This curry so much oil, I think America gonna invade it

Good, good spice

Not bad, Uncle Roger

Actually really good

Uncle Roger, thumbs up, definitely

Thank you, thank you nephew Thames

You can cook up at mine anytime

If you like good Thai food

Come to Esarn kheaw, say hi to nephew Thames

Uncle Roger favorite dish here, is the northeast style catfish

The Son-in-law egg

And of course the Thai green curry

Come visit us

Esarn Kheaw in Shepherd's Bush

They gonna have Uncle Roger special Thai green curry with extra MSG fuiyoh

Thank you niece and nephew for 5 million subscribers

You make Uncle Roger feel so special

Bye bye!

That not Thai

I know I just for the entertainment

Why you keep cultural appropriation?