We charge in like it's a battle, brandishing our influence and our power moves.

我們像戰鬥一樣衝鋒陷陣，揮舞著我們的影響力和力量。

But a negotiation doesn't have to be a fight with winners and losers.

但談判協商不一定得是一場分出輸贏的戰鬥。

Think of it more like a dance, two or more people moving fluidly in sync.

把它想成是兩個人在流暢且同步地舞動。

We constantly negotiate at work.

在工作上我們常要談判協商。

We negotiate for higher pay, promotions, vacations and even greater autonomy.

我們談判協商以爭取加薪、升遷、休假，甚至更多自主權。

In fact, every day we negotiate just to get our job done and to secure resources for ourselves and our teams.

事實上，為了要完成工作、為我們自己和團隊取得資源，每天我們都在談判協商。

And yet when we go in with the wrong mindset, with a fist up ready to fight, we aren't as successful.

但若我們帶著錯的心態去談判協商，握緊拳頭好像準備要去打架 ，就可能會失敗。

You know why? Because negotiation is not about dominating.

知道為什麼嗎？因為談判協商的重點不是為了壓制對方。

It's about crafting a relationship.

而是精巧地打造彼此的關係。

And relationships thrive when we find ways to give and to take and move together in unison.

要讓關係成功， 我們就得想辦法互惠，並以和諧的方式進行。

And to do that, you have to be well-prepared.

要做到這一點，就得做好準備。

First, do your research.

首先，要做功課。

Figure out whether what you're asking for is realistic.

想清楚，你的索求是否實際。

What is your aspiration?

你想達到什麼目的？

What do you want, and what will make you walk away from the table?

你想要什麼？怎樣會讓你起身離開談判桌？

This might seem obvious, but too many people don't think it through.

這點似乎很顯而易懂，但就是有很多人想不通。

Let's say you're negotiating for a salary in a new job.

比如，你在協商新工作的薪資。

Some people, they determine they ask based on their past salary.

有些人會很堅持根據過去的薪資來提出要求。

That isn't a good yardstick.

但那不是好的衡量標準。

You may end up asking for too much or too little.

你最後可能會要得太多或太少。

Instead, find out the range of what is possible.

取而代之的是去找出可能的薪資範圍。

Look at industrial reports, websites.

去找產業報告、網站。

Talk to people in your professional network to find out the lowest, average and the highest salary for a similar role, and then make your ask closer to that upper limit.

運用你同業的人脈談談，找出類似職務的最低、平均，和最高薪資， 接著要求一個接近該上限的數字

Build a solid rationale for why you are above average and thus deserving of that ask.

準備好一個實在的理由，說明你哪裡你比其他人更好，所以值得那樣的薪資。

Let's say you're negotiating for something less black and white, like the ability to work from home to care for an aging parent.

假設你在談判協商的東西是有緩衝的灰色地帶的，比如可以邊在家工作邊照顧年邁的父母。

You need to study your company's policies on remote work.

你就得研究你公司對於遠距工作有哪些政策。

Ask yourself when and why were these policies developed in the first place?

問問自己， 這些政策最早是何時發展出來的？還有為什麼？

Talk to trusted mentors to understand how working from home might affect issues that aren't on your radar.

和你能信任的前輩談談，了解一下在家工作可能會影響哪些你沒注意到的議題。

And think about how changing to working from home might actually affect others in your team.

並想想看，改成在家工作對你的團隊成員會有什麼影響。

In fact, make a table, summarizing the parts of your job that can be done remotely, and the parts that require face-to-face interaction.

事實上，你應該用表整理出你的工作有哪些部分可以遠端完成， 哪些部分需要面對面互動。

This may sound like a lot to do, but when the person you're negotiating with sees that you've done all this homework, you're more likely to get that "yes."

聽起來要做很多， 但當你的談判協商對象看到你做了這麼多功課， 你就更有機會得到「沒問題」。

It also helps you avoid being lied to while building the person's respect.

這樣也能協助你避免被騙，同時建立對方的尊重。

Second, prepare mentally for the negotiation.

第二，為談判協商做好心理準備。

Asking for things can get emotional.

提出要求可能會讓情況變得情緒化。

There are real and complex feelings at play: fear, anxiety, anger, even hurt.

過程中可能會出現真實且複雜的感受：恐懼、焦慮、憤怒、甚至受傷。

It's essential to have strategies in place to manage those feelings.

重要的是先備好策略來因應那些感受。

One strategy is to adopt a mindset of defensive pessimism.

有一種策略，是採用防禦性悲觀主義的心態。

That just means that you accept obstacles and failures are likely in a negotiation.

意思就是你能接受談判協商中很可能會出現障礙和失敗。

So it's better to put your energy in imagining the ways to overcome those obstacles.

所以最好把心力用來想有什麼方式能去克服那些障礙。

That way, you're ready to respond when you face it.

那麼，當你面對它時， 就準備好因應它了。

Another strategy is emotional distancing.

另一種策略是在情緒上拉開距離。

That is the idea of being less attached to any specific outcome.

這個想法就是不論結果如何都不要太在意。

I know it's easier said than done.

我知道說的比做的容易。

We all feel emotions like anger and hurt when our core identities are being threatened.

當我們的核心身分受到威脅時， 我們都會感受到憤怒和受傷等情緒。

When your manager may be challenging a truth that you hold dear about yourself, like you're a hard worker and you deserve this, try and avoid thinking of negotiations as the ultimate test of your worth.

當你的主管挑戰你的某一點， 而你很在意那一點時，比如你是辛勤工作的人，而你有你應得的，試著不要把談判協商視為對你價值的終極考驗。

Go in knowing that your request might be met, that it might be denied, and that none of this is a measure of your worth.

去談判協商時，要知道你的要求可能會被滿足或拒絕，但這些都無法衡量你的價值。

Also know that if you feel yourself getting upset, hurt during a negotiation, it's ok to step back.

也要知道，如果你在談判協商過程中感到沮喪、受傷，退一步也沒關係。

You can leave the dance floor and move up to the balcony.

你可以離開談判桌到樓上的陽台去。

Just say, "Let me think about this a little more."

只要說：「再讓我多想一下。」

"Could we press pause and continue this tomorrow?"

「我們能不能暫停，明天再續？」

The third and the final way you can prepare for negotiations is by putting yourself in the other person's shoes.

為談判協商做準備的第三種方法就是站在對方的立場思考。

Taking the time to anticipate the other's needs and challenges.

花些時間預先考量對方的需求和難處。

What pressures may they be under?

他們可能會承受什麼壓力？

What risks would they be taking?

他們可能要冒什麼風險？

Do they even have the power to give you what you're asking for?

他們有權可以答應你的要求嗎？

What ripple effects might a "yes" mean?

「好」會代表什麼樣的漣漪效應？

When you make that request, look to balance assertiveness about your own needs with a concern for the other.

當你提出要求，想辦法平衡你對自身的堅決需求和給予對方的關心。

As you lay out your case, use phrases like, "I'm asking for this because I know it's good for my team."

當你攤開提案時，可以用這類說法：「我會提出這個是因為它對我的團隊有幫助。」

"That I want to achieve X and Y goals, and I know this is what will enable it.”

「我想達成X和Y目標，而我知道這個是能幫助我做到的。」

Arguments like that show that you are ambitious, you know what you want, but you also care for others.

這樣的論據說明你是有上進心的，你知道自己要什麼，也知道照顧其他人。

So many of our negotiation missteps, they don't actually come from disagreements, but misunderstanding the other person.

很多談判失誤其實不是源於分歧，而是源於對對方的誤解。

So it's important to listen well, to ask "why" and "why not?"

所以仔細傾聽、懂得問「為什麼」和「為什麼不」，很重要。

And you will surely find unexpected opportunities for win-win solutions.

你一定就會發現意想不到的雙贏解決方案。